Friday, December 30, 2005

our little secret

put my daughter to bed at regular bedtime this evening and am now readying myself for my trip down to Seattle.

Allena, Jim & I plan on being at The Wet Spot tomorrow night for the New Years eve celebrations. What fun we will have, as we're quite the triad when out together.

We've even got a tradition, something special we do every new years eve together that the act of doing makes us all feel close.

You see, Allena & I pull up gurneys or beds, side by side in the medical room and one year up against a wall. With beds side by side, at The Spot in the main playing area, we disrobe, you know, get naked. One of us has gotten noise blowers for us both, and we are holding them in our hands.

Laying ourselves each on a bed, we settle in to comfortable positions before popping our horns in to our mouths. Looking out there are many people in the club whom we know and many other faces only vaguely familiar, most have their own play scenes going on, some are socializing and the few who make New Years at The Spot a tradition know what is about to take place.

Midnight has happened, and Allena has already toasted in the whole room and now this is our time. Our girl time together, to be naughty and have fun. Our Daddy Jim can be seen sitting or standing within viewing proximity and whose eyes will not leave us girls for some time.

Giggling like the little girls we are, putting away our bashfulness, we lay out flat, reaching out one arm to one another so we can hold hands. Sweaty palms meeting and fingers entwining so we can gain strength from one another for the act which is about to take place.

"Now" one us will say and then, legs will be spread and our vulvas will be opened in all their glory for our free hands to find.

With eagerness and great hunger our fingers will part our lips and together we will masturbate, while holding hands and blowing on our horns. [the closer to orgasm, the more intense the horn blowing becomes] it is a riot! And both Allena and I can bring an orgasm on close then hold it at bay and bring it back again over and over, the horns just make it so festive! Time doesn't matter, the only thing on our minds is the big O.

Now last year, our paper horns were blown so much [ok, we masturbated that long and that many times] that the cardboard end of one of the blowers went flying off it's curly end due to prolonged exposure to wetness. Some blessed person came along and provided a new horn quickly so our activities needn't slow down or stop. How thoughtful was that person hey?

Jim will have gotten closer & closer to the action with a perma grin on his face & a hard-on in his pants: he can be heard saying "those are My girls" with great pride to anyone within ear shot.

Allena and I can be found, hair amuck, short on breath, wiping up our girl juices off of the beds afterwards before falling straight into our daddies arms.

Happy New Year to all of you, I hope you all have traditions that make you feel good, safe, warm & loved. I know my family does.


Wednesday, December 28, 2005

what I read

wearing my sex educator hat, sitting naked I read interesting articles in my down time at home, in the pursuit of good sound sex-positive information; which I then get to share with others in a teaching environment. [wearing clothes and sexy shoes]

please be forewarned that if you click on any of the photo link buttons, nestled inside the article, that the images you will find are very graphic

Penile Fracture and Associated Urethral Injury

and reading this was certainly eye opening and will interest you if you are a chronic pain sufferer or a BDSM enthusiast. Rein for Pain Lays Mainly in the Brain, Stanford Researchers Find

see something out there I should know about, please, forward it along to me.


new camera

tonight I plan on catching up on Libido Events e-mail. If you're awaiting something from me, know that the time is near when you'll hear from me. At least 25 e-mails that require dedicated, thoughtful answers. The simple requests I can send back right away, but the rest, well it takes time. Mailing list requests go to my other e-mail address so the address I'm writing about is my jennifer account. Residing in there right now is an obscene amount of mail and the oldest piece is almost 2 weeks old; and I have a personal rule about not having old emails past 2 weeks dated in my account.

For Christmas one of the things I was so blessed to receive was a new digital camera. It works so amazing and I'm elated at how easy it is to navigate, given that I'm one of those who is challenged technically. Soon, on the new web pages to be added to Libido Events will be albums where you can go and browse through the photos I'll be shooting of workshops and play events. (prior to doors opening and people arriving of course)

My daughter and I have just finished pizza and Greek salad and are now together in the livingroom on the sofa. Me on my laptop and her knitting next to me. Jim left early this afternoon and I'm seeing Doug tomorrow for a few hours. Although this year end has lot's of items still needing closure, healing and work on my behalf - right at this moment, at home with my child, I'm feeling peaceful and blessed.


Tuesday, December 27, 2005


I've yet to go to sleep and it's 9:03am. However, MAJOR site revamp happened overnight. It's not finished yet, but I'm feeling really good about how amazing the transformation already is.

Now to take care of me, sleep, blissful sleep.


Friday, December 23, 2005

good friends

thanks Paul, Ray, Linnea, Doug, Allena, Terri, Brendan, Juju and and everyone else for such a wonderful night last night. Spending hours hanging out with you all was a wonderful evening out for both myself and Allena.

We arrived in late and finally were able to cuddle up in my bed together and drift off thinking of all our wonderful friends this Christmas season.

and now today is my daughters birthday. These days are beyond busy, happily.


accomodation ad

There is a woman that I met & befriended a few months back that is looking for a local home. When we met she was only visiting Vancouver and now here she is with an ad she wrote for what's most important to her. Drop her a line please if you can help her our OR point her in a good solid housing direction!



....woman, late bloomer and soul-searching type, seeks shared home with another woman/women or possibly a community home, that embraces a sex positive and/or kink positive attitude for Jan 1/2, but possibly for February 1.

Consciousness is important to me. I tend to be more introverted than extroverted and I definitely need my quiet time. I eat meat and still consider myself conscious. Like to eat organic as much as possible and use environmentally friendly products in the home.

Nonsmoker/drug user/drinker. Allergic to cats but love them to bits and much more than dogs. A bathtub is essential! No car, computer or furniture and about 30 boxes that represent my life. Willing to consider a location from Kits to Commercial and inbetween. Can pay rent around $500. Contact me at

c a b o u n d y e s @ h o t m a i l . c o m

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

news for Canadians

check out this most amazing article, sent to me by my friend K. Who like me, is happy to see in the news from Canadas high court, that us kinksters, really are free to pursue our own sexual pleasures in adult clubs.

A good read and one that will make you want to mark your calendar with Friday January 27 as the next Libido Events Naughty Party - sex, bondage & BDSM.

Good times legally and with the blessing of Canadas courts, I'll see you ALL there!


dress up

Good Morning!!! I'm naked at the kitchen table, my daughter is still asleep in my bed. She's leaving today for her dads for a couple of days, so last night we slept together and given that I'm the earlier riser, means here I sit, typing on my Blog.

I'm soon to get dressed and head off reluctantly for my mammogram. Today feels like a day that I should treat myself very very well and have patience. With this in mind, I'm going to wear sexy underwear to get my breast checked and then take myself out for a leisurely lunch afterwards.

Once I finally get back home this afternoon, perhaps I'll have some time [and the desire] to write about the new venue that I've just finished securing for Libido Events in 2006 for week day classes.

Tonight I've a date with B over at his house and it's my understanding that we may be playing dress up. Adult role play, oh how, I love to suspend reality to get lost in a bubble of lust, pleasure and imaginations.


Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my fathers death from cancer.

Tomorrow at 11:00am I have an appointment for a mammogram; my left breast has a lump / problem. [again]

For those who have known me for a period, this is not the first time, my left breast, in the exact same spot has been an issue for me. Last time landed me in hospital for 5 days, you can imagine what it must have taken to get me down for that long.

The surgeon has booked me in for January 3rd to discuss what's next.

I have great anger towards my father for a great many injustices. Tomorrow is just a sad reminder of a few of them.

The lack of control that I feel in this situation today is something as a Top I strive to never feel. Which reminds me that I always have the choice of when to bottom and in the situation with my breast & my father, I need to, gain control.


Monday, December 19, 2005

giving thanks

this is the first week day morning my daughter has had to sleep in on now that she is on Christmas holidays. When I enforced regular bedtime last night, she was none too pleased. Following yesterday afternoons very successful birthday bowling party, I knew she was exhausted, so at 9:30 I was tucking her in with a kiss, pulling the covers up tight and turning off her light.

It's almost 10 this morning and she is still soundly asleep and I'm feeling positive about sticking with regular bedtime over the holidays except where necessary to deviate from this due to other great amazing festive holiday plans. Saving this, just sleep. The child is in puberty and is in need of food, sleep, love and support.

Writing in only my robe, curled up on the sofa before a lit Christmas tree in the living room, I'm so grateful for all that I have: family that loves and grows with me, my health and youthfulness, lovers that support and nourish me, a home and a car, a community that supports my efforts as an educator and producer of events, a career and business that are my own and flourishing beyond imagination.

time to go wake the child. (if I want her to go to bed at regular time again tonight then she needs to get up now and keep pace with me for awhile today to tire her some) It'll be a fun day with more build up to her actual birthday and Christmas.

Aside from some private coaching work this week with a couple, I've actually got the whole week off from work outside of the house. It's here at home that I sit quietly adding another 5 workshops to the calendar for January 2006 alone. 2006 is treating me very very well already professionally.


Sunday, December 18, 2005

my daddy, my father & age play

(if you're sensitive to the idea of adult role play (Daddy-little girl) then this post may be too heavy a topic for you and I suggest you read back another day)

my biological father is dead and this week is the anniversary of his death. It's only been two years, so it's fresh still & I'm finding that I'm having some issues surrounding this.

In me is a great amount of Top energy that I put out often however age play is an activity that I engage in heavily and it does provide balance for me.

Despite the name, "age play" it's not something I feel that I'm playing at; it's simply just another part of myself that I choose to express outloud. Two weeks ago I wrote a post in response to a womans [thoughtful yet objective] comments on a message board and here is what I wrote...

I myself have a history of sexual abuse as a young person that is
healed in some areas and still most raw in others.

Today, I am a 33 year old woman, all grown up now. I have a male
partner over the age of 40 who I call Daddy. Why? Because it makes
me feel good and it makes my partner feel good. We choose to have a
consensual relationship involving age/role play.

It's a relationship that is not always turned "on" to the outside
world but to each of us there is almost always something going on that
keeps us conencted as little girl and Daddy.

My Daddy is who I go to share with when I'm scared and not wanting my
partner Jim. I perfer the safety of who my Daddy is for certain
disclosures/ conversations and activities, than to my partner Jim.

My Daddy let's me be little for things that I struggle with and still
need guidance with, perhaps some things that others have already
learned/mastered in their lives but that I never did or never gained
the confidence for.

My Daddy is my support, that even when my partner Jim & I are not
having a good day, my Daddy will always make sure that I feel safe and
not alone in these times.

My Daddy teaches me things way better than Jim does. My Daddy and I
are close because it's with him that I can say no to anything where by
with Jim, because of our D/s life I have no "no" voice as that's what
we've negotiated in our relationship.

Daddy is who I call out for in sex most, because it's my Daddy who has
been the nicest, most trusting, engaging, endearing, empowering Daddy
ever to teach me all that he has. My Daddy today gives me power in
sex and that was not my experience as a child.

My Daddy today has healed some of those parts of me that my Dad, left
destroyed in my childhood.

I enjoy being little, I just don't have a Daddy either women, I
actually get little. Go small. Have a preference for my thumb and
non verbal communication. And it's all trust based between me as a 33
year old grown woman with my relationship partner, that I choose to
call Daddy instead of Jim.

Age play has healed many parts of my life and given me permission to
explore areas that I never thought I'd eroticize.

I love my Daddy and Jim is my Daddy. I'm a very lucky girl...

now perhaps once this anniversary of his death is over with, I'll quit feeling so haunted and get back on track. It's past my bed time now and off I go to sleep...


Saturday, December 17, 2005

bring it on

Awoke and spent time being still & savored the quiet of a Saturday morning at home in bed. Up later than usual for me, then made my daughter & I breakfast together once I was able to wake her from her slumber.

Cleaned the house so it would be no effort for me when I returned from work, threw dinner in some marinade, then off I headed for a 7 hour shift of work.

My daughter was at home alone awaiting Jim; once he arrived, the two of them headed off to MetroTown to Christmas shop together for the afternoon without my presence.

I drove straight home from work at days end to find the two of them parking in front of the building and hauling in "the loot" from their shopping trip. What a long day we had all had. Jim was falling asleep on the sofa while dinner cooked.

Late dinner for us together, then the gingersnaps were being decorated to give away as gifts. At work today I'd picked up an assortment of candies and icing to decorate with.

Now with the dishes done, we're watching The Sound Of Music and waiting for bedtime. It's a family night in around here and an early one too.

My folks are here tomorrow from the island for my daughters 12th birthday party. What a celebration day it will be, both with seeing them and the party itself with nine, 12 year olds. A bowling party it is to be! Cake is already made and in the car along with everything else needed or even thought of! All that's left is getting the child there. Her birthday is not for a few more days but as of tomorrow and the party, the festivities begin in this house and will not stop until January 1.

with sleep, love & family, anything feels possible today


Thursday, December 15, 2005

word change

Previously, the trunk in my bedroom was once a beautiful hand crafted hope chest made & given to me by the man I was to marry. (before my whole involvement in sex positive culture started) Great sentimental value to me. Now it is my kinky toy box, complete with lock and it houses and exhorberent amount of adult toys; and not a single piece of linen or dishes. (although there are knives inside ha)

When presented to me originally the hope chest had a plaque on it saying...


"Built By My Hands With Love From My Heart"


Christmas 98

and I had a new one made finally, all these years later to replace the original plaque. This is the quote that now sits on top of my toy box....

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you can not do.

Our relationship ended when he realized as I did that kink and activism were part of my journey and not his or ours.

Not wanting to damage the finish on the trunk nor wanting to loose the touching words once blessed upon me by love, I adhered the new plaque directly over the original to preserve, some of the intent.


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tuesdays goings-on

Had a private consultation with a man this morning at 9:00 and found myself greatly enjoying the chance to share with him what sex positive culture is and how it [could] applies to him and his life. Private coaching is rewarding for me and always for those whom choose to see me. I'm seeing this man again and our path together is professional, my leading, he the student.

Then to the bank for an appointment for half an hour. Over to my daughters school to drop something forgotten off, before heading off to check the post box. Now I'm back home & have phoned work and used a sick day. I'm behind and not wanting to get any further in deep, feel like this is my only way out with a sick day.

Half an hour before my next appointment & here I am typing to my Blog; and then out to the valley to drop something off to a friend. Tonight is GingerBread house making, dinner and readying for tomorrow's school Christmas concert inbetween answering the inbox full of mail awaiting me in my account.

I don't get generic mail, I get the type of mail that people don't send to anyone else, the kind that they type just for my eyes and that requires something from me above and beyond a form letter or an accidental delete to not answer it. I'm your sex activist / your sex educator / your resource, which means that what you need, I'm here for both in person and in email.

Laundry to be done today sometime and I'm still only scratching the surface. That we don't live in our school catchment area means that I play chauffeur both ways, 5 days a week for my 11 old which is a whole other commitment to keep her at school on time and even at all from our lack of proximity.

In an email today, I was listing all the attributes that I don't find attractive in potential play partners. This is what I came up with..... I hate; waste, anything dishonest, disregard, tardiness, stupidity, unethical behavior, rudeness, disobedience, aggressiveness, name dropping, laziness, exaggeration, disorder, gossip, unpreparedness, societal & peer pressure.



Wednesday, December 07, 2005

hurtful words

Gilmore Avenue and Parker Street
4 way stop

Jennifer at fault and yet I was the CALM one in the accident.
What a way to start my work day at 8:30AM!


My daughters Principal called this morning to tell me how she's fixed the issue my daughter and I brought to her office last week during our appointment. It seems my child has a teacher this year, that likes to call her entire 31 student class "idiots" and other times "stupid idiots" to their faces while they are sitting in their desks.

She talks through ALL announcements on the PA system and despite the fact school gets out at 3:00 her class is never out before 3:10.

My daughter is a REALLY good student & young person. Student Council. Peer Mediator. Community Social Planner, Path Finder and in band. A really good child, well behaved, well spoken, polite and sincere.

She shared with me what her teacher was doing in actions to her class as well as how she talks to them. Supporting her in finding some immediate changes and help for this situtation with her teacher took us to a visit with both the Principal and Vice Principal.

I could have gone to talk to the teacher myself alone but thought it better to allow my daughter the chance to express her concerns to those with the power to change it. I was also hugely proud of witnessing my daughter make effective change not just for her own well being but also for others.

The call this morning said that "my daughter is very brave and strong for coming forward." The teacher confessed so to speak and even had a number of excuses as to why words like stupid and idiot are being said to students - but alas her excuses fell on deaf ears.

No one was interested in hearing anything from her but how she plans on implementing change. I've told my daughter she never has to be anywhere where she is ill treated and not respected and I've reiterated this to the Principal.

I won't pull my child from the class over it, but I would go a step above to have the teacher moved from the class should she not be able to handle herself with young impressionable children. {in future}

I've spent a lifetime telling my daughter how intelligent, smart, shrewd, creative, and expressive she is and what wonderful attributes those things are. I'll be damned if one teacher in one year of her elementary school experience is going to ruin for her what we've built together and what she know's to be true.

It's her confidence and it's the most important thing that she'll carry out in to the world and into high school. No one, not even a teacher will be permitted to rip from my daughter her feeling of safety, confidence, intellegence or creativity.

my daughters mother

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

wish list

Wishing out loud, upon a bright star this holiday season, these are a few of the things that would please me to no end to receive. Some things that would make my teaching life & activism easier are....

1. sex & sexuality books, videos, DVD's - new/used, current
(no erotica or fiction)
2. CD's/music: to make love to / seduce by / relax with / scene to
3. portable collapsible spanking bench for my car trunk
4. straight jacket
5. violet wand with attachments
6. portable, collapsible white board in it's own case with a stand/easel
7. inflatable people - 2 men & a woman ; )
8. collapsible (folding) double beds x 3

What a unique list of wants & needs to have; there's nothing on this list that won't be put to good use and all in the name of "sex positive education."

Happy Holidays....Jennifer xoxoxoox

radio interview

Tomorrow Wednesday December 7 from 8:00 - 9:00pm I will be on CiTR radio 101.9 FM as their evening guest speaker interviewed on the topic of Polyamory.

Juice Box Radio: JuiceBox is a talk show dedicated to developing your relational and individual sexual health.

happy listening


Monday, December 05, 2005

a day in the life

A list of things that I accomplished today...

drove my daughter to school
picked up my daughter from swimming lessons
hired two out of country presenters
booked two new venues for events
gained a new play partner for when I'm in Seattle
cleaned out my Libido Events Jennifer account
cleaned out my Libido Events list account
made countless phone calls
flirted with the woman in the car next to me at the red light
took countless calls from business associates
cooked a nice sit down dinner
had a long hot bath & facial
visited with friends for 45 minutes
returned a favor
removed the final Christmas items from the storage area
masturbated to orgasm twice
worked on Christmas plans with my mom
washed dishes
made my bed
updated the Libido Events website
put air in my front tire
bought groceries at Safeway
went to the bank
checked my Post Box
stopped at the Recyclers
toured a local swimming pool with my daughter {for her b'day party}

and before I head to bed, I plan on going out on the porch and fixing all the burned out Christmas bulbs. Turning off all the house lights save for the nightlights we leave on in this house, I will climb into my bed and curl up laying on my side; falling asleep with my hand resting comfortably, warmly over my mons.

Another day in the life of ME.


Sunday, December 04, 2005

now she's asleep, tucked soundly into my bed with a small mountain of sheets and blankets keeping her warm until I crawl in next to her with my body heat. When she's laying still I find great peace in being alongside her whispering about life's mysteries in her ear while she sleeps. In less than 3 weeks, my daughter will be 12 years old. Oh, how we've grown up together really.

I was reminded today by someone that as a child I faced some traumas. I'd like to think that with all the labels I allow myself to have put on me, that victim has never been one of them. I've overcome many obstacles to be a survivor and a conqueror; to achieve the success today that I have.


afternoon movie

this afternoon, my daughter and I braved the snowy weather conditions and drove to the local theater. There we sat and watched "Yours, Mine & Ours" a short movie, 80 odd minutes about a man with 8 children who marries a woman with 10 children and how they transition into a family. [turbulently] We had a good time seeing the movie and eating the large bag of Sour Patch kids that we picked up from the concession. Since I've worked much as of late, it was good for my daughter to have some special time with me and it was good for me to be present with her.

Grandma sent money in an envelope the other day, $30 and said to put it towards photo's but since we'd already paid for and ordered holiday photo's we thought Grandma would enjoy knowing we did a family activity together with the money.

The Christmas tree is up and we hope tonight while watching Extreme Edition Home MakeOver to have it completed so this week we can get to the baking and the gingerbread house making. We have wonderful holiday traditions in this house and it pleases me to know my daughter looks forward to these times.

Friday I promised my daughter she could sleep with me tonight, and she's been reminding me about it all day today happily. :) We love our cuddling time and she's most definitely the product of a home where a family bed exists and where love flows freely.

Today I feel the need to be held by an adult. To be rocked for awhile with no noise around me, just silence and an awareness of my own breath and heartbeat. Someone else to steer me and point me in the right direction once I can find up again.

33 years old and still searching for answers to big life questions. When does it get any easier?


Friday, December 02, 2005

motherhood & babies

putting my daughter to bed this evening, I decided to curl up in her bed alongside her for half an hour of cuddling. Talking, laughing and being close was the plan and success was had! By the end of our 30 minutes she had the sweet look of sleepy love on her warm cheeks and as the light went out in the room - our love was heavy in the air and I knew our hearts had connected together.

I'm working long hours these past few weeks, but only because I'm taking time off at Christmas both for her birthday and for the big day of Christmas itself. (these are two days apart in our house)

Doug was my hero today and stopped off to pick up my daughter after school to take her home for me while I was at work. It's wonderful to have people to ask things off and to trust enough to do so.

Some times the feeling hits me, the want of another baby to grow in my womb, to nurse at my breast; the feel of a finger wrapped up in my hair and the first sound of "mama" coming to me from this small creature, the result of love and my womanhood. A baby would be so many things wonderful but the reality of my activism today says I've not the time to give myself to a baby the way I once did in years past.

As my activism has grown and changed over the years, so has my motherhood. Oddly enough, these two important items are interconnected. My activism has grown age appropriately to my daughters age/my motherhood and to my ability to be able to explain who I was and what I was doing at any time to her.

Allena would make a good mom, and we've even talked about babies before. But is it going to happen any time soon, that I'll be pregnant and Allena and I co parenting our baby with Jim?

the mother & the activist

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

snow, work & life

sitting at the kitchen table with the laptop and a pile of paperwork, the cordless phone sits next to me on the right, the left is the cell. TV turned off, no radio on, not a sound in the house but the noise of my tap tap tap on the key board and the subtle sound of snow warming to water, rolling off the patio.

This is a snow day of work. My plan: to stay inside, working till I need to pick my daughter up from school at 4:30 this afternoon. No unnecessary driving and no leaving the house. Perhaps some laundry this afternoon, but that's only downstairs.

This Friday's Naughty party date has been bumped forward to January and the new date/s and venue address are already up and posted.

On the weekend Jim & I went to see Elwood (body bodification artist, piercer & brander) in Richmond, and I got the prettiest barbells AND shields as new nipple jewelry. Two sets, how pretty my nipples will now be under my clothes for the surprise and delight of whomever is to find them.

And here's odd...the other day in the "list" email account for Libido Events was an email with the subject line as JOIN and the sender was my mother. Yup, you guessed right, I about fell off my chair as I stared at the email a few moments before actually opening it, where by I determined it was just sent from another woman who happens to share the exact same name with my mom but not the same email address. thankfully

Sadly my date for this evening has been postponed due to scheduling issues. B sent this as his parting line in his email after telling me of our date change...
Perhaps I need my own version of a Kara to help with my organizing as well - I hear sometimes they come in a box, so to speak.

I like to put kara inside of boxes. Boxes for sale at Ikea, trunks on stage, boxes in bedrooms and generally things with lids that are dark inside. She is so adorable when folded up small & compact. kara helps me stay on top off things in the world and B would love nothing more than an adorable, sexy woman willing to be put in a box and still keep his schedule straight just as she handles mine so well. :)

When speaking to Doug an hour ago he like B says "there is only one Kara and there's no one else like her. What kara does for you she wouldn't do for another."
Have you met her, do you know my kara? She is a beautiful, vibrant, passionate, loving & gentle woman.

And Doug, have you heard the news "your mine too now!" ha ha ha Get over it and get used to it, I'm enjoying having you around.

back to work now

bisexual, polyamorous, switch

Saturday, November 26, 2005

girl love

Into the wee hours of this morning, both kara and I rolled around in my bed as one mass of girl love. It had been a perfect night out for us; heading downtown we found parking right away, arm in arm and dressed like chicks on a date, we walked for a couple of hours talking and shopping together while drinking hot chocolates.

Finally around 11 making it over to PumpJacks, Vancouver's (gay mens) Leather bar to have a drink together. And who would the bartender be but someone I once knew. We spent about an hour catching up together amidst his working, and then it was time for me to take my girl out of that testosterone filled environment and head home.

Drove back to my place in good speed, walked in the front door and in under two minutes kara was naked laying across my bed, facing a mirror, and being told to choose two of the four canes that were about to start caning her backside.

We started with caning, ended up necking and lost for hours in my queen size bed and sheets until there was begging for relief: both from pleasure and from intensity. As karas Top, I enjoy doing things to her. As kara's Top, I like keeping her safe and letting you know we had a spectacular time but that anything more than that is no ones business.

now with few hours sleep in me, yet sated well, I'm heading off to work happily.


Thursday, November 24, 2005

U.S. Magazine

To mark it's 35th anniversary, the U.S Magazine Foreign Policy recently asked a group of leading thinkers to identify which ideas, values, and institutions will disappear in the next 35 years. This week and next the National Post will print eight of the most intriguing responses. In Monday's (Nov 21 2005) first installment, Jacques Attali predicts...

the demise of monogamous relationships.

Shocking, just shocking news!

I read the above in the National Post and was happy to see someone willing to write about the shift from monogamy for some people and was curious to see what else the article & author went on to say about these people and where they went. (did it say we all went to Hell, or that we were deviants?)

Attali goes on to say that "Just as most societies now accept successive love relationships, soon we will acknowledge the legality and acceptability of simultaneous love. For men and women, it will be possible to have partnerships with various people, who will, in turn, have various partners themselves. At long last, we will recognize that it is human to love different people at the same time."

Truthfully Attali should come spend a week or two in my house to gain even more of an appreciation for how respect, love, trust and multi partnered ethical, polyamorous relationships can look from the inside.

It would seem Attali, by titling the article

Going, Going, Gone...
I Love you - and you and you and you....

would be referring to

Jennifer loves Jim and Allena and kara and Doug and hell for good measure throw in F, S, B & L as people loved

Makes me wonder what next weeks National Post will list as the idea, value, or institution to disappear in the next 35 years? Watch for Mondays paper.


The word "polyamory" is based on the Greek and Latin for "many loves." A polyamorous relationship is a romantic relationship that involves more than two people.

Poly & Proud

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

blessed people

Alone time when I'm not asleep or working, I'm very very short on this. This means however that I've got many blessed people around me filling my waking moments.

B emailed me last week asking me out on a date again and I've simply been to busy to get back to him. Then today when checking messages, I listened to one he had left me yesterday, asking me out again. B's in need of some sex education under my watchful eye and would like to book a private appointment if that's what it takes to see me. Almost fell off my chair laughing while feeling truly sought after. Emailed him back right away and suggested next Tuesday as a date night as it's my first night free. Seeing as we are both single parents there are schedules to juggle but getting together again is a priority!

Being facetious upon my suggesting Tuesday night he emails this back to me

As long as Jennifer sometimes gets what she wants, and always wants more - I think it still holds up as a good theory!

Next Tuesday sounds good, quick now go check all of your background planners, teaching agendas and social calendars (then call Kara and ask her if you've forgotten anything) before you commit.)
It feels good to me to be known so well. : ) : )

Tonight belongs to my daughter and so does Thursday night as it's our girls night in together: facials, foot soaks & manicures while watching Survivor. Friday after work I've got a date booked with kara: a special date night out. Saturday after my working all day Jim is coming up for the evening and we've got BIG plans and he's staying over till Sunday.

Doug was by yesterday morning on his way out of town. Stopped by for an hour to drop something off to me, get felt up & kissed some and say good bye before heading off. Before he could leave though, I asked him to do a little favor for me. After I convinced him to agree to the favor before knowing what it was, I explained all. (I enjoy playing with trust) Since my daughter had left her science project at home and it was due, I needed him to drive it over to her school and take it to her in class.

Now bear in mind, this man has no children of his own and this I'm his first relationship in "poly" dating other than he and his partner. And here I ask him as his Top to go to my child's school to drop off her homework. Now it's not like he hadn't been to her school before, I took him on parent teacher interview day and made him wait in the hallway while I had my meeting.

About 20 minutes after he'd left my home to deliver the missing project I phoned him on his cell. "Have you dropped it off yet? "Yes" chuckle, chuckle. "What's so funny" I say? Doug draws a breath and says " I wasn't so sure walking into a grade 7 class that I'd be able to pick your daughter out of the other 30 in the room!" ah ha I hadn't thought of that I think to myself as Doug says "but I found her right away and handed it off." "Thanks for the help" I say.

It's taken community to raise me into the activist that I am and it's taken a private smaller community of people to help me raise my child while creating sex positive culture. To all of you who are close enough to share my daughter with me and to know her, you know how special you must be to me, in order to know her. It's all your support with raising her that makes my activism easier and our lives together that much richer. With gratitude xoxoxoxo


Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Tie Me To The Bed Posts Please

Last night I braved the fog, driving out along Lougheed Hwy to teach a private class. Tie Me To The Bed Posts Please - bedroom bondage basics for women only and I taught this to the BGV group. The BiSexual Women's Group of Vancouver. How fun to spend an evening teaching a group of women the safety considerations for bedroom bondage then to show them how to create interesting and titillating scenes with the bondage they were learning about.

Topless women doing mummification on one another, then trailing ice cubes over the exposed sensitive bits, playing with poky items and their breath to layer sensations on their bound partner for the exercises in my class. Mummified in Saran wrap, bound with tensors bandages, wrist & ankle restraints, hoods, gags, string, handcuffs, tape and oh so much more.

Every woman got to immoblize another woman and also to be bound herself. And once bound, everyone allowed their volunteer partners access to their bodies and minds for a little bit of a bondage journey.

My job is so awesome, sitting on the floor, helping the group of women master some skills and generally just feel more confident with my presence and reassurance leading them on to more.

The visuals were amazing as most of the women ended up taking off their shirts or bras on the living room floor; relaxed moans & noises that started filling the air told me that the class was more than good visuals, it was also excellent times where the women were having an empowered time coming into their own with this new skill of bondage. Pleasure filled the room and I could hear a couple of women holding their breath as feelings of bliss were washing over them in the safety of the bondage as part of this womens only interactive class.

thanks BGV, I'm looking forward to our next class together. And to S, for hosting this event in your home and being so welcoming to everyone, I'm grateful and appreciative. You are so awesome, thank your hubby for me.



Monday, November 21, 2005

missing person

Ok, I admit, I'm fixated on finding this man. The massage god from my Saturday night on the town. If you are out there somewhere or someone knows who he is then please contact me.

Unsure exactly what you did to my neck, back and shoulders but you most certainly have left me wanting more of you. Wanting your hands and expertise to work me over again.

Somewhere more private than a public play party, I'd like to spend time with you. Naked or very very close.

That sexy massage technique you did to me near the end, the small waves working up my body with your slick oiled hands, melted me and keep making my attention fall back to those sensations that you graced my body with. I'm in want and I want what you offer.

Thank you, thank you again and Thank You Again. Sensual for sure, hot all the way and now here I am, Jennifer, looking for you and wanting more.

Still today, I'm feeling so great and it's all to do with the ease in which my uppper body is moving and with thanks & gratitude to you.

Let me show you grateful and thankful....


Sunday, November 20, 2005

massage & a fuck

Went to Rascals this evening and did I ever walk into a hell of a good time. (ok, I made a lot of fun for myself) As soon as I arrived I saw a man that I'd met briefly at Sin City last weekend. In under 5 minutes of talking with him and learning of his profession (massage), he had me out of my clothes and was oiling my body down for a massage like none other I've ever had. A repeat performance is a must, but when I went to look for him again part way through the night to talk, he had left. And now I want to find this man and don't know where to look. This massage god. Oh, he was so good to me, fixing some problem areas, working out some knots and making me feel very loose and relaxed. Must find cute man in shiny shorts, with a bald head that gives amazing massages.

And for those of you who know me well, you know how I feel about bald heads and what I have a passion for in this way!

Then I was invited into a scene with a blindfolded woman and I was able to hurt her some and also to fuck her with my thigh-on. Oh yes and I wore my black mustache and my black cock. It was a great scene and when my part was done I just got to walk away and leave her behind to be cared for by her partner....

while I went off to socialize with at least 2 dozen other people before running into my friend Jerry. Jerry is very good to me, and aside from making my smashing pink and white new business cards for me, Jerry gave me a new bamboo cane that he'd made. Surely some time this week I'll be able to lay it across someone's backside. What a night I was having and then to sit around at the end of the night, chatting with a number of people again made me feel connected to what I teach and who I am.

Now it's almost 1:00 in the morning and I have to awaken early to make breakfast so my daughter and I can head off to the Santa Claus parade together. In the last 4 days we've had front row on the ice seats at Disney On Ice's Finding Nemo, saw Harry Potter opening night and tomorrow the Santa Claus parade. It's been crazy around here at home but then we do keep a busy schedule. C'est la vie!

BTW - thanks to H & I for riding me tonight about projects we need to be working on together

I need a cold drink then some sleep...


Saturday, November 19, 2005

breakfast, work & thanks

my daughter is asleep still in her room, she loves the chance to sleep in. I'm sitting at the kitchen table, topless in pj bottoms, working on my laptop with the phones turned off, so nothing wakes my child but me on this Saturday morning. (have to remember to turn them back on before leaving for work later)

Bacon, eggs, hashbrowns and a smoothie - her favorite meal for breakfast and what I'm cooking before I head off to work for the day. I'll get my child up after my morning shower & orgasm when breakfast is ready and on the table. This way we can eat together before I'm off working as a single parent.

The plans that I have for this evening would floor you! Yup, my plans are that hot and after working all day, I will be deserving of a night on the town. Someone who I never have met, yet who knows of me, has sent me a private invitation to attend something so personal & private that I can't even write about it. Top Secret plans and someone will be getting hurt AND getting off. Oh, how I like to be apart of the good stuff, and my life is about the good stuff!

this is a huge thank you to you for all that you do for Libido Events and more importantly for me personally. Your support of friendship, time and love are always so abundant. When you're around me I can always tell, because you put first my projects and needs, so accomplishing things becomes easier for me and we seem able to move mountains. You mean much to me as does your partner. Thanks for being a pillar of friendship.

Off to the shower now for some steaming hot water and some orange body sugar scrub to buff my body into suppleness.

enjoying the good life


Friday, November 18, 2005

waiting time

the wait right now to get an email response from me at Libido Events can be up to a week right now. Long term projects, private consultation work, questions from the curious and those in need, there's always much email to wade through daily and it builds up some with my having a life.

My new Fido phone has arrived and I've managed to program the time and date into it along with having Doug and someone else program their own numbers into the damn thing. There were 17 messages in it when I got in to last night and today after work there were 12, my home phone is flashing with probably another 8.

When I'm not working over the next while I'm planning great times for my family and I. (like this evening when my daughter & I went to see Harry Potter together, way cool)

thanks for your patience if you're one of the ones waiting for an email from me, know that I will be emailing soon



Thursday, November 17, 2005

sharing my love

he just walked in the front door of the Love Nest, where tonight's class with LaSara FireFox was happening like he belonged there. We'd spoken earlier in the day for the first time in well over a week and I'd extended the invitation to him to arrive tardy, so why I was startled when I first saw him eluded me briefly.

Then as I was driving along the lower level road on the North Shore heading for home feeling happy, really happy and I realized why. Seeing Doug was good for me and I didn't even known that I was missing him. Once he saw me sitting across the room his whole body shifted & his face changed and my heart melted.

Once the class ended and we were able to get to one another, our togetherness filled me up. Standing pelvis to pelvis, arms wrapped around one another, me biting his neck, not too hard, but hard enough and as I looked up at him his glasses were completely fogged up and I couldn't even see his eyes at all. Laughing so hard felt good with him.

Yesterday I was in a book store and I had to buy kara a copy of The Don't Sweat Guide For Weddings. I love kara and this guide is what I know she wants, because I asked her. I phoned her from the store and asked her to choose one and I gave her two titles. Finding her this book was important to me as her partner, it made me feel good to do something for her and her other partner. soon to be husband!

Laying in bed, curled up with Allena, our combined softness & love mesmerizing as pleasure passes between us as another of the ways we love one another. Walking hand and hand as women in love, and owning our relationship out loud in the world. It's with Allena that visions become realities for me and where we create jointly.

Jim is my Daddy. What more need I say. He let's me be his little girl when appropriate and his bottom when it's time for me to find my place again. Jim hears me share of everyone and lest we forget that he, Allena and I form a three.

L was in the class tonight, I'd had to cancel a date on her due to work so it was a treat to see her this evening. Finding time to get to you luscious could be hard, but know that you're on my mind. STILL! From that earlier email, remember?

B and I've had a couple of dates as of late and I believe a third is up and coming. A no strings attached relationship, how cool is this? We date whenever we want, over the last 5 years maybe 14 times or so. Good times together, you know I mean? And no check ins and how are you calls. Almost giddy fun times.

My heart is big, I can love for a moment and I don't even need to try very hard. I've the room for being apart of beautiful peoples lives and that is exactly how I'm leading my life. Sharing it with many many people and trying to remember along the way that sometimes it hurts to love so much but it's that ouch that lends perspective to the depth and range that love and acceptance offer.

I have to remember to love more. When I love more and freely what comes back to me is almost always transformational in some way. Tell everyone more that I love them and remember that just because I use the word love doesn't mean that someone can feel loved. It has to be felt to be transformational. I must remember more to make sure that my partners have the look of love in their eyes and hearts when in my presence.

with love to all of you Jim, Allena, kara, Doug, L, B


Wednesday, November 16, 2005

finding Nemo

I'm excited, I'm excited!

This evening is opening night of Disney On Ices Finding Nemo at the PNE Coliseum. My daughter and I have a date to go together and we scored great seats as well. Grandma & Grandpa send us every year as a treat. Lucky girls we are! We're very excited by attending as this will be our 9th or 10th year in attendance. We've got the $12 snow-cone cups dating back years to prove it in an assortment of favorite characters! ha

Being a mother is my greatest joy and what I'm most proud of is my daughter. That we've created such a relationship together is amazing because as a young girl I never had with my mother what my daughter and I have accomplished together already. Meaning that we've self created our own realities as there was no frame work for us to go on. Before my daughter, my mom and I barely had a relationship. Being a mother though has bonded my mom and I in a way I'd never dreamed possible and because my early relationship with her wasn't so strong, I set a goal of making sure my daughter and I would be close. I set the goal quietly in my heart, but my daughter & I succeed together at making this happen together. We both want the other and see the value in our love and relationship being so strong.

B is coming over for lunch today at 1:00 and I'm looking forward to having him here. Since I moved awhile back now, he's not been over to my home. A little flirtation, ok, actually likely a lot, kissing, the kind that leaves you breathless and yes, lunch. While at the Doctors this morning I had some time to kill before my appointment so went to Cobbs and picked up a wonderful loaf stuffed with ham & cheese and I'll toss some Caesar salad, a little sorbet and presto, lunch!

I've already packed today for tomorrow's nights class, seeing as I won't be home this evening to do it. Thursday LaSara FireFox is presenting Radical Sexual Self Definition for Libido Events. Here is LaSara's website to read through and here is the write up for tomorrow nights class:

Do you want to become more adept at defining or redefining your relationship with your sexuality, and your sexual and/or gender identity?

Part of owning our sexuality is learning how cultural expectations impact identity, building a positive relationship with our desires, and learning to take an active part in defining the self/culture interface.

Using exercises and magickal tools from her book Sexy Witch, LaSara Firefox will help you to find new ways to define and to broadcast your sexual self-esteem.

Bring a shirt you want to make into a DIY Fashion Statement, writing implements (i.e.; pen and journal), and a playful sense of adventure. LaSara will provide the glitter and fabric pens!

Address for tomorrow nights class & other class updates.

If I'm going to squeeze a nap in, it's time for me to lay down....



Tuesday, November 15, 2005

let the phone ring

Today my cell phone rang for the first time, my new one that is. It's arrived to me finally and I'm relieved to have one again.

I'm so happy to have back my little communication box. Since I'm electronically challenged, it becomes kara's job to re-enter all of the lost phone numbers back in to the phone. Seeing as though everything on my last phone was stored on the phone and lost and not stored to the SIM card where it could have been saved. Who knew?

Somehow I managed to set my own clock & date on it, and this is an accomplishment for me!

Thanks Fido for getting me a phone again and now all I need to figure out is how to check voice messages and text messages. I've yet to figure out either!


Sunday, November 13, 2005

victim of the cattle prod

a couple that I met last night at Sin City sent me their blog link. It talks about their night at last nights fetish night and meeting myself & my cattle prod! (posted with permission)

They were such an adorable and hot couple. She even got on her knees and "asked permission" to suck on my nipples before she actually did it. Originally she had her partner make her request of me. With a lustful smile across my face I politely told him no, the only way such a thing would happen would be for her to ask me herself first. More smiles and remember, that I'm bare breasted sitting on the arm of a sofa swaying to the club's tunes.

30 seconds later, in front of me, on her knees on the club floor is a woman asking me permission to suck my nipples. I greet here warmly, brush my hand over her back suggestively, meet her eyes and nod Yes. Smiling with eyes closed, my head falls to side as I concentrated on her slow & thorough lapping of my right nipple.

memories of a good night


2:51 am

It's 2:52 in the morning. Arrived in from Sin City about an hour ago and slid off my 5 inch open toed slender heeled shoes. Got naked, checked email and then updated the calendar with a host of new events as well as some home page edits. Life is moving along so well these days. Must remember to thank the Goddesses and then I should get myself into bed with my Hitatchi magic wand before sleep washes over my mind and body.

After playing with a number of people this evening as both a Top and a bottom, I'm exhausted. Used every toy that I packed for tonight including the cattle prod. Sounds scary reading the typed word, cattle prod, but when I'm standing infront of you smiling sweetly and talking you through it, most people have no idea how I manage to get them to say yes to such things. A pretty girl dressed in come fuck me pumps and powder blue lingerie and people will do almost anything. even, the cattle prod

sweet dreams,


Saturday, November 12, 2005

another mans bed

Woke up this morning in a strange bed and left wearing yesterdays clothes. All signs of a great evening out the night before. It was my date with B and he picked me up on his way home from the airport. Arrived in to his house, heels slipped off & food ordered. A bath by candlelight is suggested and the next thing I know I'm rolling around in bed with one sexy man. In the wee hours of the morning we fell asleep exhausted and content finally. Wrapped up in the warmth of a male partner who is not my bottom nor my Daddy, simply my date and someone who makes me feel really good. I've been told we're going out again. Date trois! Lucky girl I am.

And now this evening I'm off to Sin City to take it by storm. I've got a whole new whack of advertising leaflets and also business cards to take down with me, plus a few gifts for some people behind the scenes who are always doing much work for our sex positive city.

Packing a toy bag seems the way to go, with out taking one, I could lose the chance to play with someone that I find hot. However packing a toy bag means that it has to be carried around all night long by me and thus somewhat cumbersome. Maybe I'll find a bottom who offers a massage of feet or back to myself BEFORE they offer their bodies to me. One can wish yes?

I've no idea what to wear tonight and seeing as I'm going sans date, the only clothing preferences that matter are mine! Life is good today. With my daughter away for the whole weekend it doesn't even matter what time I get in this evening and a sleep in is possible tomorrow.

Sitting eating Chinese take out right now at my desk naked. Broccoli and beef on rice and when done this, it's my plan to walk over to my bed, part my legs, pump some lube on my mons....allow it to do the slow run down my labia, before I start stroking my slick lips as my vibrator settles nicely into it's routine of round and round my clitoris. Remembering to breath often, I will have a massive orgasm that will wash over me and leave me seeing stars. It's good to be able to take care of oneself well!

off to be productive



Monday, November 07, 2005

thank you note

A man whom had some questions about his sexuality spent some time talking with me about his situation privately and also attended the Vancouver Sexpo in October. This is an email I received from him the other day and after a name change here is his kindness

Hello Jennifer,

It is polite to send thank you notes when someone does something nice for you, so here is mine. I originally contacted you about a month ago because I was having difficulty orgasming and this, either as cause or effect, was effecting many aspects of my life. I can say now that I no longer have that problem, and it is thanks, in part, to you and your organization. Your advice and suggestions, as well as the Sexpo, which forced me to be more open about my sexuality, have given me a new confidence to pursue the life I desire. I cannot thank you enough, you do people more good than you could possibly know.

My sincerest gratitude,

it's emails like this that make my sex activism so rewarding!

sex activist

Sunday, November 06, 2005

returning home

I just returned from Seattle where I spent the weekend with my daughter. At the The Wet Spot on Saturday afternoon I taught two classes Women's Dominace class & a Women's Only Masturbation class, what a great afternoon I had as did all the women who joined me. Thanks so much to all of you, you rocked!

Someone emailed me their blog link with a write up about their experience at the Vancouver Sexpo a few weeks back, check it out.

Here is the Wicked Womyn website as well, go and have a read.

I'm in love with the most amazing people. Jim, Allena and kara are my chosen family and the family that keeps me feeling grounded, safe and loved. I love many others but these people are the ones whom I feel the closest to and whom I'd always go the extra mile for.

Time for me to go and unpack the suitcases now. One is filled with our clothes from the weekend and the other with all the sex toys that I brought down for my Between Our Legs: Masturbation for Women Only class. Thankfully the border in either direction was not interested in looking inside my suitcases. I feel sorry for the ones who open my bags then get all embarrassed. Don't most people travel with 40 odd sex toys in their own personal pink Tinkerbell suitcase? I'm blessed, I suppose.

My cell phone has died and with it all of it's phone numbers inside of it are gone as well. If we talk on the phone, would you mind emailing me your number so I can get you loaded into my new phone once Fido ships it. Email those numbers to



Thursday, November 03, 2005

where my time goes

Lunch at Wild Rice yesterday in downtown Historic China Town. Incomparable in atmosphere & decor as a restaurant than any I've dined in for some time. With a business lunch crowd yet we were able to talk all through our lingering meal with good service. What a great venue and the menu offered up tantalizing offerings that made my mouth water and later served as such a visual delight.

Met with a client at Wild Rice for a few hours of intellectual discussion about [local] sex positive culture and given all the ingredients, who could not enjoy a teaching moment like this. Excellent food and with someone whose hired me to teach them what I know and am passionate about.

Then last night L came over and we had a couple of hours together visiting. Not enough time alone, yet it allowed us to catch up some sans children. Before she left to go home, I asked her if she trusted me. Glances all around, almost blushes I believe then says "sure I trust you." "Close your eyes" I say to her as I approach with my Paul Frank cosmetic case. Unzippering it I withdraw one of my birthday presents and remind her to breath and not to hold her breath. I watch her hands go to her mouth to cover her fear, a smile on her face that trembles slightly. "You can hold my leg if you like to steady yourself, because I'm going to push me new cattle prod into your right calf once" I tell her. (I wait to see is she runs for the door or screams or even open her eyes, but nope, sooooo)

Inhales air rather sharply, eyes, spring open quickly and her hand is already rubbing the targeted site of my attention and affection. My heart beats faster, WOW, she let me do this to her. Hm, store this thought, this moment away, so next time we play together, I'll have something more about her to fall back on. She will do scary things for me and she's got the softest eyes. When she speaks about her life, her compassion is what moves me most.

Then tonight was my dinner date with B. Yummy! We literally shared a meal together and sat side by side in pushed-together chairs at the table. The Whip in East Vancouver is just off of Main Street at East 6th and as of late remodeled. A date is a good date, when before the dinner is even over, you've been invited out again and asked out by name. He's off traveling for a week now but once returned we'll be on a date again. I even managed to get myself kissed. Let's see what happens next time we go out.

and my cell phone died today while accidentally being in water. Email me privately your telephone numbers again those of you know who need me to be reaching you.


Tuesday, November 01, 2005

treats & seduction

Quite tired this evening after working all day today and being out late last night with my daughter trick or treating. We had much fun trekking from one spooky house to another's front door, collecting treats for over two hours before arriving to her school for an evening display of fireworks. My daughter thinks that it's very cool to be on the playground late at night when it's dark and filled with all her school mates dressed in costume.

Hot chocolate in a covered mug and the rain held off for most of the night, how fortunate were we. I was prepared though with an umbrella with us and a large clear recycle bag to drop over my daughters costume so the paint wouldn't run off of it should it have rained. My daughter was a home made / self made box of Smarties for Halloween and I was my bad self wandering about with little pink horns on my head and flashlight in hand so I wouldn't get hit by a car.

I've been asked out on a date-date by a man. A man who knows all about me, shares none of my pursuits yet admires my convictions and occupation. I find him to be very attractive, we've been friends for a long time and neither of us can deny our attraction to the other. Now that I've been asked out I'm realizing that I want something out of this date.

Seduction, I want to be seduced with language, food, glances, music and him. I'd like to sit back and allow this man to show me a night out with out myself trying to lead the way or direct our path. I'm not talking about submission. We're not going to do any SM play. I'm talking about dating rituals as I know them and I'd like to partake. A movie, a walk on the beach, a scenic drive & picnic, something I've not planned or orchestrated. I'm not there to bottom, be submissive, a little girl, a Top or a Dominant, I'm going to go and be his date for the night.

Later tonight I'll email him back and let him know that next week after I return from teaching at The Wet Spot in Seattle I'd like nothing more than to spend time with him. oOh I am so looking forward to this date - the last time he and I went out, he carried me in arms to his vehicle and to his bed, something that excites me.

My daughter is in her bed sleeping right now. Allena is safe in Seattle and Jim is tucked away nicely in Bellingham. Doug is at home with his wife and kara is cuddled up to her fiance in bed. It makes me feel secure to know where those that I care for and love are. We don't need to be together for me to feel connected, I just need to know the basics of where everyone is, how they are with themselves and also with me.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

bondage in public

my Daddy left a few hours ago and I'm already missing him. He arrived in last night and took me for a wonderful birthday dinner and brought me a present.

Wrapped up securely in a rope harness over my chest and through my crotch, criss-crossed over my body and under my evening's clothes, my Daddy took me out for Indian food in a quiet little North Shore restaurant. We ate great food and enjoyed our time out together and alone before heading right back home to be together. Bondage in public and under my clothes, very erotic.

The rope between my legs, separated my labia, so that all night as I moved about my inner labia was always rubbing against hemp rope or the fabric of my slacks. Not used to having anything tickle my inner labia, the feeling was obviously very distracting. So distracting in fact that by the time the ropes came off hours later, they were more than damp with my girl juice and I was more than ready for....

33 cane strikes across my bottom for my birthday with a beautiful red cane from Bad Juju then had fabulous sex until shudders were running through each of us uncontrollably.

Curling up in bed together, wrapped safe in the warmth of my Daddy I slept well. And with the extra hour due to the time change the whole evening was great for me. Today we went shopping and I managed to come away with the most amazing black wool, full length to my ankle bones winter coat that my Daddy says will keep me toasty warm all winter.

Apparently I needed a new coat so that my complaining about being cold would be stopped while getting in and out of the car and also so I can now discreetly leave my building in kinky clothes and be completely covered up in the escape. : )

Dinner on Friday night with friends for my birthday was spent at a tapas bar. I've really been spoiled this birthday weekend with gifts, love and attention by those close to me. It feels good to be so loved.


Friday, October 28, 2005

news of the day

today is my birthday! hooray, Happy Birthday to me! Double digits, I'm now 33 and my mother phoned me this morning to tell me that I was actually born on a Thursday. Tonight, after working today all day I'm going to dinner with kara and a few friends.

this came to mefrom a group that I'm an active member of and that is a wonderful local place for women to meet other women for many opportunities...

BiGirls Vancouver (BGV) is a support and social
group for women in Vancouver and its surrounding
communities. Their mission is to provide a safe,
educational place for curious, bi, lesbian and
transgender women to meet and exchange thoughts,
concerns and ideas. Founded in early 2005 it has
rapidly grown to become one of the larger, free,
organized support and social groups for bisexual and
queer women in the Vancouver area. BGV invites all
queer women looking for a safe place, to join them at
BiGirls Vancouver

Have a great day and check out the calendar updates.


Thursday, October 27, 2005

made me laugh & laugh

The woman at check out # 3 had a title beneath her name on her name tag that made me do a double take. As I'm standing there in line to pay this clerk I'm chuckling because her name tag has the title CBT Mentor.

Catching my breath to keep from laughing out loud and keeping my composure about me I ask this woman "what exactly does the acronym CBT stand for?" Clerk looks at me and says in a some what inflated tone of voice "I'm the Computer Based Training (CBT) Mentor." "Helping anyone with computer problems" she proceeds to tell me.

Nice I think to myself, wondering if I'm the only one who looked at her name tag and saw CBT, Cock & Ball Torture and wondered if they should tell her, only to decide to continue along leaving her and her name tag behind as a little laugh for the next "in the know" person to run across.

At this moment I could have taken my liter of chocolate milk and left on my break, but then the clerk said something that made me laugh out loud...

It really is a BIG title for such a little job.

that did it I laughed and laughed as that is so much my experience with CBT cock & ball torture as well.

Currently I'm in want / need of a set of sounds and a penis pump for my sex activist version of CBT, my Private Parts: Genital Play for the Adventurous class. Today standing in line to pay for my chocolate milk reminded me of this. : )

On another note, thanks so much Felicity for doing that hugely important pick up for me this afternoon and for the new pillow cases to go with the sheets! You rock.



Wednesday, October 26, 2005

the little things

Updated the calendar with two new events. A Kinky & Naughty Christmas Pajama Party and something else, have a read here.

It was 1/2 way day to completion at swimming lessons today for my daughter which meant I got my minute long visit with the swim coach who told me virtually now new information but assured me she was doing well. The best part of the whole visit was that I arrived early and managed to watch the last half of her lesson which left her smiling like mad at my surprise arrival to watch her swim.

Saw this quote on that Printers message board on Kingsway "Success requires courage and discipline."

When I need to understand something or someone better, I use this as my guide...

"All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire."

- Aristotle

Took me about 20 minutes of gently buffing with a soft cloth and a gel cleanser onto my pink cotton candy knee high boots to remove the scuff marks from the Sexpo. Must confess though that those boots got a good work out that night at the sex positive play party so working out the scuffs was no big deal. I owed it as a thanks to the boots themselves. Tonight was the night that I took on that challenge and I managed to get off most of the offensive black skid marks.


Tuesday, October 25, 2005

multi partnered

This morning was busy with office work for hours before Doug even arrived on my door step. On the computer for hours working, studying, answering other emails filled with questions. The count down begins, 30 minutes till he's due to arrive and I've a plan.

House cleaned. Floors, beds and medical table cleared. (we could end up anywhere) Music playing in a couple of the rooms, drapes drawn in every room and the heat turned on.

John Fluevogs, I have a stunning pair of their boots. Knee high with a full length zipper running up my inner calf, the whole boot done in beautiful black leather with white stitching and an ankle buckle. Just like walking on air. They're called Bond boots and I wore them a lot the weekend of the Vancouver Sexpo and have really not had a good polish put to them in some time.

In fact, the last time my boots were done and done well, they were polished by Deb. Deb does the most amazing boot blacking and with her, well I wear my boots and a short skirt, sans the panties. For Deb of course, in exchange for the boot polish and she does an impressive job and enjoys her time spent boot blacking at SM & fetish events. (and looking up my skirt)

Today after Doug found a collar and nipple clamps awaiting him at my front door along with the sound of me at the other end of the house cracking a whip, he gained his composure rather quickly I'd say, then figured out what he needed to do and did it. As he came around the corner into living room, the sight of him with his boot polishing kit between his teeth made me wet. And there I was standing in the middle of my living room, naked-whip in hand and on my feet are my scuffed up pair of stunning Fluevogs.

Can you guess what Doug got to do today? Yup, boot polishing. And some lunch and a visit and then back to our regular worlds.

Then 3:00 pick up daughter from school, then we had to go door to door for 150 houses. Why you might ask would I do this for 70 minutes? Handing out flyers for a fundraiser her Girl Guide group is doing and every family gets to do 150 flyers. And so we decided to do ours today after school as it wasn't raining. Thankfully!

Home to sleep for 30 minutes on the sofa, then do a quick dinner up for my daughter before heading to ready myself for my evening's date with kara.

Left at 7:00 on a dinner date with a very lovely kara on my arm. Both of us dressed for our date, her in new fetish red and black open toed 5 inch heeled shoes and me in a form fitted, slit up one side, ankle length backless dress. kara asked me out on this date and brought a wrapped flower but I drove and carried the umbrella. kara helped me figure out what to order on the menu and she asked me please may I Mistress for a couple of things and I found her head on my shoulder often and her eyes meeting mine looking for more of us.

We had dinner with the BGV group, they are a BiSexual Women's group meeting for social opportunities and much fun. It was the founder Tammy's birthday today, she's 33. Happy birthday to you Tammy, on Friday I'll be 33 and caught up to you.

We celebrated by having a dinner party at a restaurant in New West and had a great time. All of us women and the one token man. The male waiter. Corey and he was cute, young and yup, I had a little fun with him AFTER I tied my cherry stem in a knot with my tongue for his viewing pleasure! Then back to kara who was ready to cuddle more with me and savor ice cream & cake after eating veal with asparagus in a hollandaise sauce with shrimp and pasta.

Drove home with kara in the pouring rain that made seeing the lines on the street impossible even as lightening slashed across the entire sky twice. Pulled in to my building in one piece, although soaked right then I've got to taste kara's sweetness. She looked so sexy tonight and was mine for an evening that was not an event where I was working and waving at her across the room. Sitting next to me and what do we end up doing in the car but necking! sweetness

And then as quick as it all started it HAD to end because

I have a child in my bed awaiting her mom and it's time for me to pull back

say I love you, thank you for the flower and the date. Drive carefully in the rain, it's slick and there's lightening. Her lipstick is completely smeared right across my face, up to right underneath my nose and down to my chin. My lipstick is on her teeth, neck and chin area. Signs of lots of love & passion.

Home and in the house, naked under my robe by 10:20 and starting to blog shortly there after while eating the remainder of a bowl of popcorn that was left on the kitchen counter.

Thankfully I love Jim and I know he loves my because today aside from email, we never actually made it to talking on the phone. Once the weekend arrives and my Daddy comes walking in the door I'll be ready to be that girl to him.



Sunday, October 23, 2005


My mom came to visit today and took my daughter and I out to lunch. I ate the most amazing piece of chicken with warm brie on top of it on a ciabitti bun - just delicious with fresh spinach, warm apple slices and fig jam spread over everything. My taste buds were dancing and it was a wonderful meal out. We were celebrating my birthday, which although not today, (it's actually the 28th) today is the day that my mom had available to visit from the island. A DVD/VCR player was what my folks gave me along with some other stuff. I was shocked, startled and most grateful for the gift, it will take kara awhile I'm sure to teach me how to make the damn thing go though. :) Lunch, gifts and time spent together for an afternoon, it was great to have all the 3 of us women together, then I came home and promptly fell asleep on the sofa for two hours.

Spent the early evening in at home then left to go to Rascals. Good times I had meeting a whole host of new people and touching base with others I'd not seen in a while. Wishing I had more time to spend out, but none available as daughter is at home sleeping in my bed awaiting me. Promised I'd be home by 11:45 at the latest and I left at 8:15pm.

Dark green shiny, low rise pants with closed toe, ankle strapped 5 inch stiletto black leather heels and a black leather fully boned corset, fishnet gloves from knuckles to elbows and a green/blue pair of itty bitty new panties barely covering my moistness. Toys were packed in my pink Tinkerbell rolling suitcase and I was wearing my pink fur trimmed coat.

Walked in the door of Rascals and within 10 minutes had set my bag down, scoped the place out and headed to the smoking lounge to find S. Negotiated as we were walking out of the smoking room and down the hall into the play space. Genital Play or CBT (cock and ball torture) whichever name you prefer but that was to be the game. Got S strapped to a table then bound each limb in pallet wrap to hold him in place firmly. Damn he looked so sexy in his shiny corset all pouty lipped, wide eyed, laying there with his cock exposed and vulnerable along with his nipples. Accented so beautifully by his corset - I love the look and he made for good eye candy for me all spread like that and tied and shiny tight in the center.

We played good SM games most on his body, some in his head and I enjoyed making him squirm and call out, seeing the beads of sweat roll of his brow as I captured a glimpse of his pout disappearing whilst he bit his lip to cope with the rich sensations going on between his legs. discontent, pleasure, pain, hunger, want...

S was fun and we must do it again some time, thanks for letting me on you. Caught my breath for a few minutes then went and asked someone that I know if he'd let me bottom to him, if he'd Top me in a scene. Saying yes and then the next thing I knew I was on a cross being hit with a very mean stick that the man bought at auction for $15. Damn it's got excellent bite and we had some good play time that left my panting and dancing, I enjoyed the feel of his hand on the small of my back, helping me to resume "the correct position" for the next strike by him. It was comforting to have his help in correcting me both for my own good and for his ease in working me over. Must do it again and soon too as we live extremely close to one another and there is no excuse not too now. Can you tell my lust is high for good play that has no strings attached?

Visited with more new people and some friends old and new. It was a good night but cut way to short. However, I'm just happy to have been able to make it out and to have been part to so many new experiences in one night. And handing out 2 for 1 coupons to everyone at Rascals was the right thing to do given that they can be used for workshops, bondage parties or our infamous naughty pajama parties. Which by the way we will be hosting A Kinky & Naughty Christmas Pajama Party in early December, info to be posted on the web early in the week.

I have to go and climb in my bed now with my daughter and give her extra cuddles as promised. We plan on sleeping in tomorrow and then grocery shopping for back to school lunch supplies.


Friday, October 21, 2005

SEAF 2006

to be held March 24-26, 2006 at Consolidated Works in Seattle

The Seattle Erotic Art Festival (SEAF) was founded in 2002 by Seattle's Sex Positive Community Center (SPCC) to promote freedom of sexuality, speech and creativity through the erotic expression of fine art. The Festival strives to exhibit work not easily found in mainstream galleries and museums. We invite artists of all backgrounds, countries, ethnicities, cultures, genders, sexualities, and ages (18+) to submit up to four (4) works of art of any media. 3D artists and painters are particularly encouraged to apply; please note that photography is a highly competitive medium.

Enter online

Thursday, October 20, 2005

day in church

today I spent 5 hours in a church at a white elephant / bake sale being in charge of pricing items. A bridge luncheon was going on around me and I was doing the mom role for the day as a group of young girls served these women lunch to make money for an up and coming trip.

For some reason a few people laughed and refused to believe me when they called on my cell and I told them where I was. The idea of me being at a bake sale /white elephant sale in a church and unable to have an explicit conversation in that moment left many laughing and unbelieving and me floored at there inability to see my versatility.

Mom, sex activist, store clerk, I can do it all. Might make you do a double take when you see the realism of it in front of you, but I have not made it this far by being in a box. I step out of the box all the time and recreate myself to fit the moment.

Doug came over this evening for a couple of hours on his way to work - I had him work on the knots in my back and shoulders. He's getting good at massage, finding his way on my body. He was so tentative in the beginning of our relationship, when I first started having him rub me down, but now, over time, he is getting good. Knows when to push in deeper and when to work a muscle, when to let up on me and keeps his strokes slick with oil. Listens to my moans and adjusts himself accordingly to make my body feel looser.

Frankly, I like the attention on my back which is where I carry my tension so anything that can be done to help that area makes me purr. Plus I'm enjoying the chance to gauge his skills over time while laying spread out comfortable and warm with him on me.

It's been a few days now since the Sexpo and just today did I get to the paperwork for it all. And tomorrow will be a day of phone calls and catch up with so many people who shared the experience with me as attendees and volunteers. The last few days of being home alone with my daughter have been valuable for us. Grocery shopping, eating, sleeping, laundry, Fright Night at Playland, we've been super busy but tomorrow is business again in the afternoon.

L & I are taking our girls scootering downtown in the morning and I'm excited about it already. It's time for me to start getting ready for bed - I've fallen asleep twice today and am still in need of much rest. It's a good thing that I'm still on days off till late next week.


Monday, October 17, 2005

the day after

today is the day after! The day after the close of the very successful Vancouver Sexpo. I said both good night & good morning to Dossie Easton and then drove her to the airport. Not that I should even be thinking of more work right now, but I'll tell you anyways that I'm bringing Dossie back again in 6 months to present for Libido Events with another unique workshop opportunity.

My mind needs to stop twirling and I must finally got some rest. Over the conference weekend I had a house full of guests including both Jim & Allena who each left today as well. Leaving me alone in the house for one hour before my daughter returned home.

Now I've got time on my hands at home with my daughter full time as I'm on leave from my day job for another week and a half and she is out of school due to the strike.

I'm eager to climb into bed tonight as I'm exhausted. This afternoon I slept on my daughters bed for a couple of hours and then again after dinner I slept for another few and here I go again now down for the night.

Success is tiring but hugely rewarding
I'm addicted to the pursuit
Of success and sex positive culture


Thursday, October 13, 2005

todays issue of Dose newspaper

on page 9 has a wonderful article written about this weekends Vancouver Sexpo, Sex & Sexuality Empowerment Conference. Vancouver Sexpo. The article is titled Sex ed., class-participation style and is written about sex positive culture and the Vancouver Sexpo, be sure and get your hands on a copy to have a read for yourself about the sit down interview I did with the reporter from Dose.

In last weeks Georgia Straight and this weeks issue out today, Vancouver Sexpo has taken out advertising, look on page 40 of last weeks for our ad.

The Sexpo starts tomorrow night already, it's so hard to believe that time has gone so fast lately. What to wear has been the last thing on my mind but if I don't start thinking about it soon, I could end up naked during the opening plenary. : )

off to make more things happen for people I don't even know yet....


the sex activist

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

*** sale ***

This evening while wading through the piles of email in my Libido Events mailbox, I found an email from another Jennifer. A friend of mine and the woman behind local Tickled Pink Toys. Jennifer is having a massive sale on a number of products that need to be liquidated to make room for other stock or different colors of products soon to be arriving to her in time for the Christmas rush.

Knowing that Libido Events loves Exclusive offers and passing on sound education and products, Jennifer asked me to let you all know about the sale. From restraints, smart balls and insertables there is surely something at Tickled Pink Toys for you to be excited about at this sale. Check out the great deals....


Vancouver Sexpo

Monday, October 03, 2005

caregiving & on the mend

A few days have past and my head still throbs like a bad hangover and my nose is as congested as is possible. When I cough I need to hold my rib cage as I'm in that much discontent. And lest we forget that although a masochist in S/m play I'm simply just a small little girl when I'm this sick and not able to make the shift from cold /flu aches & pains to erotic, good pain, endorphin, thrill-seeking masochistic fun.

With all that said though I am feeling marginally better and able to actually move about now. This morning after returning from driving my daughter to school, I phoned kara on her cell at about 9:05 only to have her tell me that although she had driven all the way in to the city to drop papers off at work, she was now in her car, promptly driving herself home to bed. Sick! Yikes, could I have infected her as well? The decent, loving Top in me says, have you driven past my place yet on your way back home? No, kara replies, I'm still 10 minutes away.

How about you come here and lay on the sofa while I work for a few hours on the computer. sighs, ok, I'll be there shortly

10 minutes later, one sick girl on my door step and so sick that she too used the washroom to hurl in. Twice. Good thing for mouthwash. Off to the sofa she went, where I covered her in blankets, made her tea, and fed her daytime cold medicine. After 4 hours of loving, it was time to pack her up and send her on her way to her home and partner as I needed to head out to do some errands. Not thinking kara up for my errands, it was better to send her home.

Some of the things that I need to do professionally, I need to take care of during school hours, when my child is away. 9:00-3:00 Monday - Friday are when it's easiest for me to do business so once kara was gone I had a few stops to make before picking up my daughter from school.

Off to Safeway, then the bank and now we're back home. I'm at the computer in the dining room working and she is reading a book on the sofa quietly before dinner. I've a beautiful child who is one of those children that other parents and teachers all praise - she's a warm soul, seeking to support those who are most understood or alienated for some reason. Intelligent. A child who favors books, camping and sleeping cuddled up with her mother, I am blessed. I don't believe she is the way she is by accident, it is because of the choices that I made for her before she was old enough to be supported in making her own choices as a girl and as a tween now.

For the division that I keep in my life and have kept for years I am most grateful. My relationship with my daughter is that of a mother and not one that most can even have a scope for how it could look on me. Most are surprised - especially since my daughter, and our home life are so not representative of my activism.

Shortly I'll make dinner, and from the living room the sounds of a child taking first year band with a wind instrument will be heard. Later tonight we'll cuddle up on the sofa and I'll rub her back before bed, then at 9:45 Felicity is due here to help me work through some of the Sexpo's final details before next weeks opening night.

Don't forget to get your tickets early to save yourself money at the door. A listing of where tickets to the Vancouver Sexpo October 14, 15 & 16 can be purchased is viewable here.

Thanks to C from Seattle, Karin and Vicky for your emails of warm hugs, chicken soup and good wishes.


Saturday, October 01, 2005

tissues & ejaculator supplies

A box of tissues is on the end table next to me in the living room and used up tissues, rolled in to small wet balls are laying all over the floor. I'm so sick with a head and chest cold that I feel like I'm dyeing and being close to death means that I'm on the sofa, under a blanket, in my cotton 2 piece pajama's with snowmen on them. Apple juice is chilled in the fridge and the bathroom door is open down the hall should I feel the need to hurl again. Lovely visual hey? Both yesterday and today I've called in to work and taken sick days - how unfortunate as I'd hoped to get some extra hours in at my day job before the Sexpo in just a couple of weeks.

The other night I had Doug over for a visit and after watching some TV together on the sofa, I sent him, naked, into the play room to climb up on the gyn table. I played with Doug for awhile, him at my mercy, legs spread in stirrups, naked, on a gyn table, with an electric fly swatter laying across his cock, needles in his chest and BANG was the end result ever hot. Good times were had and I only needed to tell him the rules to our play once and he followed along so well. Rules mean consequences for not following along, but Doug was only rewarded.

When we were done playing and he had finished eating 6 or 8 chocolate chip cookies and some water, we got him dressed again, packed up and heading back to his wife and home.

The fly swatter did go off a number of times on the cock but it was always made better by praise, strokes and extra loving from moi! I can be mean and nasty & still loving and caring.

After Doug had left and night time had fallen, I sent him this email:


After this evening's play, I went to investigate what other deviant things I should add to my toy bag now that we know CBT mixed with electrical play is so hot for you. Here is what I found: A Balley Ejaculator

If I save up for awhile I'll be able to afford one. It's a business expense as well so this makes it even more attractive. : )

Your thoughts?

Email cut here to protect privacy

Doug whose writing often makes me laugh, sent this back:


while I'll admit that this

"Stand away from the animal 6 or 10 feet after gently inserting the probe, and observe the reaction of the animal. Proceed as dictated by the animal's physical movements as the stimuli are applied in rhythm....Not recommended for horses. "

sounds intriguing, I've continued to be amazed by the ways you manage to use just about every toy in the bag.

Wow, needles for play. I'm still kind of wrapping my head around having been on the receiving end of that.

Email cut here to protect privacy

It's time for me to blow my nose again and to take a nap. The only thing missing is a good massage and some wonton soup for this sick woman. I'm still chuckling over Doug and the look of shock that must have washed over his face as he read my email about Farm & Ranch ejaculator supplies. Chuckling hurts my lungs though as I'm so sick, perhaps he should be punished? ; )


Vancouver Sexpo
Libido Events