Saturday, August 27, 2005

misogyny / misandry and love

Misogynist, meaning a woman-hater is formed on the Greek misogunes, from misein, meaning hate, misos, meaning hatred, and gune, meaning WOMAN. It first appeared in written English in 1620 (spelled misogenyst).

In 1980 Sheila Ruth Defined misogyny as a word which "includes the beliefs that women are stupid, petty, manipulative, dishonest, silly, gossipy, irrational, incompetent, undependable, narcissistic, castrating, dirty, over emotional, unable to make altruistic judgments, oversexed, undersexed....Such beliefs culminate in attitudes that demean our bodies, our abilities, our characters, and our efforts, and imply that we must be controlled, dominated, subdued, abused, and used, not only for male benefit but for our own." (Issues In Feminism: A First Course in Womens Studies, 1980)

It was not until 1946 that misandry, meaning hatred of men, from the Greek aner, andr-, meaning a man, entered the vocabulary.

It's important for me to tell you that I'm intelligent, precise, honest, practice privacy and excellent personal & professional boundaries, am clean, skilled at loving myself or finding partners willing to do so with me, rational, strong, independent and willing to take ownership for my own stuff.

Know that Jim thinks I'm the most beautiful woman in the world and is moved by my commitment and passion towards anything I touch or breath life into. He knows my strengths and encourages me to follow and pursue my dreams and lust. I'm by no means squashed in my relationship here where I give up control, but rather empowered.

No one has the right to control me or my body in any way, shape or form and I'd fight for this right if it was ever taken from me. I can give up the control for a moment or a relationship long, but no one has the right to me. I'm a woman capable of standing on her own and achieving much for my family and for a greater community. Not just things for myself but things for others to benefit and grow by as well. I'm a creator, visionary and a force.

So strong, so strong, oh yes I am! This is who I am, because this is who I've evolved in to being while dealing with life. Strong, proud and independent. Then Jim shows up and there is my submission pouring out of's how I love, atleast in this relationship. Jim doesn't hate me, no no, rather the opposite, Jim, my Daddy, he loves me so much that he dominates and controls me; subdues and uses me for strictly his own pleasures, and controls areas whole areas of my life, self and body. Misogynist?? Nope, sorry wrong answer. Rather a loving BDSM relationship between two mature consenting adults.

Only in my relationship with Jim have I freely given up certain basic rights, privlidges and expectations. It's a gift that I give to him, my trust unwavering and with that, my body. Use me for your pleasure, but keep me safe, god help us both, keep me safe and I'll come crawling back over and over again for more of you if you'll love me in this way. Love me with discipline, rules, regard, respect, a heavy hand and I'll continue to give up that control so you no longer need to take it anymore, it's become a given.

In being used by my partner because this is what we've chosen as our love style, well this is nothing more than a miracle that we've found one another. It's while being used, when my mind has taken the leap of faith necessary to allow this to happen that I start feeling as though I'm being empowered and filled with life fuel. It's over these times that I've come to find my biggest strengths and to know my most ugliest truths.

There is beauty in finding someone to share yourself in this way, I'm fortunate enough to have found Jim and in him love, Daddy and a Sir. Some times the way that we love one another looks odd to others, let's just all remember that there are many different love styles.

who loves a little differently

PS right now my car is packed and I'm heading off to work all day from 11:30-6pm then drive straight to this evenings Womens Only Naughty Party - a sex positive event from 8-1am then home by 3 because Doug is arriving at 10 to help me paint a room in my house for the day!

Friday, August 26, 2005

non-sexist writing

When you call me Miss or Mrs.
You invade my private life,
For it's not the public's business
If I am, or was, a wife.

Anon, quoted in Miller & Swift The Handbook of Non-Sexist Writing

Thursday, August 25, 2005

info & partner sharing

Last night I worked Privately with a couple in their home for a few hours. As this was my second time being hired by them so it was a smooth and easy evening of discussions on Dominance & Power along with suggestions as to how to put it into actual play for themselves.

Being a guide for others and sharing what I know is my passion, it's how I give back to a culture and community that has blessed me with so many gifts. Sharing myself and knowledge & guiding others without shame, but rather with joy and passion, is what makes me so attractive to others I hear both personally and professionally.

Sitting naked at the computer Blogging before I need to head to work from 11:30-6pm, then I'm off to have dinner with a friend. I'm off to meet Doug's wife for dinner.

It's good poly practice for me to have a relationship with my partners significant other and in this case, it's a wife. She's a really cool woman whom I'm enjoying getting to know better over time. How amazing is it, that she allows me the privilege of playing with her husband in BDSM and permits us our relationship? WOW, lucky woman I am and tonight is my chance to thank her again and to check in with her as sharing your partner is a big deal and needs to be honored in my world.

ah, and only because it's funny do I share this, but my dear friend J, phoned me at 10:50 last night for a booty call. Normally I'd kill someone for phoning me at home so late at night and especially for something as hedonistic as a booty call, but with my daughter away on holidays, I found the whole matter hilarious. Although I declined the invite, we did set a date to get together with one another. Happy Birthday to you today J!

Sometime late tonight when I get home it will be time for me to start packing up for this Saturdays Women's Only Naughty PJ Party A Sex Positive Event.

Time to get dressed as my day job is the only job that I have that requires me to wear clothes. Go figure!



Wednesday, August 24, 2005

private class & daddy time

Last night I taught Sex Tips From A Bi Sexual Woman at the studio and then drove straight home to Jim who'd driven up to spend the night the night here with me. We cooked steaks and corn at 11:00 at night, then crawled into bed and made love till 2 in the morning. Our schedules have been so full as of late that we've resorted to snatching time however and whenever we can get it together.

We rolled out of bed this morning awhile ago now and not without complaint on my behalf. I love sleeping with my Daddy and being cuddled up in his warmth is intoxicating for me and so pulling us apart is often difficult as I hang on tight and make known my displeasure. (ha, it's the little girl in me) I've already cleaned up the bins and toys from last nights class and gotten Jim well on the road to Olympia. This afternoon I work, then this evening I'm teaching a private class.

I was contracted a week or so ago to teach a 3 hour class on Women's Dominance / SM 101 to a woman privately in the city at her home. The class went great and she got a lot out of it and now this evening, I've been hired again. This time, she and her partner have hired me and are going to see me as a couple to explore, female submission and male dominance.

Since I work this afternoon till 6pm I will be driving straight from work to my evening appointment and returning to a home and bed all to myself. Daughter still away on holidays and no poly partners in sight, my bed will be my own tonight. The questions that remains is "what time will I actually make it into bed and away from the work in my computer?"


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

smart balls for the vagina-review

What follows is a Product Review

Looks so innocent, almost like a stress ball that goes in the palm of your hand and you squeeze. But no, these are Smart Balls, coated in elastomer which is an inert,
hypoallergenic rubber that's safe and nonporous and they get covered in a layer of lube and slid up into the vaginal cavity where they'll stay nestled away as long as you want to enjoy them you lucky woman you!

My Smart Balls came in yellow and pink and are covered in subtle grooves that make even the simple act of insertion fun to draw out and toy with. Pop in one and slide it back it out, pop another in and grab the cord and tug. Tug, again and again and again, not hard enough to pull them out, just hard enough to make them wiggle and please you.

Two balls connected slightly and each containing a smaller ball inside designed specifically to allow the balls to constantly be in motion & rolling silently while we're moving about, thus giving way to a heightened sense of awareness to our pelvic interior and their delicious movement. What a lovely feeling of fullness and movement roaming your insides for an intimate massage with the Smart Balls.

Subtle, so subtle you can wear this to work and easy to remove with a simple pull cord when your done with it. The cord is covered in hypoallergenic rubber that makes cleaning simple and drips non existent.

This month Tickled Pink Toys has these Smart Balls on for $34.95 Canadian

Tickled Pink Toys ships within 2 business days for in-stock items with 90% of orders shipping within 24 hours of order placement.

Shipping Information: Standard shipping within North America is free for orders over $100. They offer flat rate shipping of $10 within North America for standard shipping of orders under $100, plus express courier service of $20 within Canada, and $40 to the USA.

enjoy your pleasure seeking,

Libido Events

Sunday, August 21, 2005

waxing purple toes

Let me tell you about my Saturday afternoon...

I had this date with this really attractive woman that I love. Let's call her my bottom, kara.

She was dressed as I asked her to be, in a skirt, sun hat, bra and pantiless. (accessible) Me in a dress and a hat as well.

Strolling through the Vandusen Botanical Gardens in Vancouver for hours hand in hand, we had such a lovely day together with no where particular to be and no agenda other than spending time with one another. We paused and spread a sheet and lay in the shade eating a picnic lunch and talking together while looking out at a sea of foliage and brilliant colored flowers so tall they blocked others from seeing us completely sitting on the grass floor.

Wandered over to the waterfall that was so stunning we had to sit and pause on bench to appreciate the view. (and to fondle one another) Walking further past lawns that are immaculate so immaculate here that it makes you wonder what little people with gardening tools must come out at night to create this wonder.

Finally I settled kara on to another bench later in the afternoon, next to a pond with pink and white lilies floating in it and turtles swimming amonst the lily pads as the hot afternoon sun was shaded behind very tall tress. Put a blindfold on her so she wouldn't know what was about to happen and then pulled her sun hat down so no one could see her face. Remove her shoes and put her feet on the sheet on the bench. On my knees next to her, I kiss her cheek and light the candle in my hand. She knows nothing, yet can hear the lighter I'm sure.

kara loves to have her feet covered in wax so......I took my candle and in the middle of the park with people walking by, blindfolded her while sitting next to the pond, I slowly covered her toes covered in purple paint in paraffin wax. Dripped some all over her feet, down her ankles, made it splatter and watched her body move to the heat of the candle wax and to the want that was building up in both of us. We played with the hot wax for a good 20 minutes before our little impromptu scene ended. What fun, I am a very lucky woman.

I should spend more Saturday afternoons lost in the bliss of a partner and so should you!


And for those of you environmentalists, don't worry, we did not leave the park floor covered in wax, we removed it from her feet with a scrubbie and put it all on the sheet, rolled it up, then I brought it all home to dispose of it myself.