I have fallen in and out of love a number of times really over the years of my adult life. I have loved men and I have loved women. In truth, I have fallen hard for men with my heart more often then I have for women. Though I have crashed head first into loving women suddenly.
I have been loved by many men, and I have been loved by quite a number of women. I am currently loved by a man and by a couple of women, and I love each of them not in return, but simply because what is, is. It's the basis of our relationships with one another.
My romantic relationships with men, in hind sight I always knew were coming. With women, it's always been a most pleasant surprise.
I have sought out relationships with men, I have never gone looking for a woman to date or be a partner too. Women seek me out, men I have gone looking for. Women I hold at bay, it takes someone special to captivate me. Men I have cruised along for, then pointed at just the right one and said "come here". It works for me, in both directions. I am fortunate in this.
Men have taught me the greatest and biggest lessons in life through love, women have taught me the most profound lessons about myself through love.
I have been hurt by relationships ending, and hurt desperately too. Both men and women have broken my heart.
I know that I have broken a few hearts myself as well.
As I have grown older, and gained more experience in loving others (and being hurt) I have come to recognize the importance of both moving on and of being thankful for the time shared with someone I had a heart connection with.
I miss past loves at times. Though with out each of them, I would not be where I am today, loving how and whom I do today.
Jennifer ... Vancouver's Sex Educator, Sexuality Coach and Activist. The content of this blog is not suited for those under the age of 18. What you'll find here is a written account of my personal journey in sex positive culture both personally and professionally.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Hot Tattooed Babe
Snow.
Snow Snow Snow.
Glorious Snow.
The white flakes were everywhere when I awoke this morning. We went to bed at nine fifteen last night and awoke at nine this morning. Almost twelve full hours of blissful necessary sleep cuddled up together.
Imagine my surprise to swing open the drapes and see the snow had blanketed everything. It brought such a smile to my face. The view was so spectacular that I woke RC up to enjoy it with me.
Seeing as we were up early, we packed up some domestic chores and headed out in the Jeep to complete the tasks at hand. Having him with me always make my day so much nicer, I sure love my man. I was so pleased he had today off so we could spend the time with one another.
We did our errand running, then had a really fantastic lunch out at a sushi restaurant. The roads were quite icy in our neighborhood, and luckily few people were driving on then. With the 4X4 on, we fared just fine thankfully.
While at a pit-stop at our local library RC found a poster on the community bulletin board, it caught his eye immediately. It was an advertising poster for an event happening at Douglas College. One of the models, was a woman we know, her image is the one most prominent on the poster. We were happy to see her hanging there on the library wall, so I took out my camera and snapped a photo of the poster. (I checked with her earlier and asked if I could re post my photo of the poster here on my blog, she said yes!)
(click the image to enlarge, the hot babe on the left is one of our peeps)
Now it is almost time for us to ready for this evenings Deviant Dining event at The Lounge, it's the last one of 2008 and we wouldn't miss this for anything. Let's hope the snow does not scare too many of our members away, many of whom wrote today to inquire if the dinner is still scheduled to happen. Oh yeah baby, we are still open and happy to be hosting everyone for another great dinner.
Snow Snow Snow.
Glorious Snow.
The white flakes were everywhere when I awoke this morning. We went to bed at nine fifteen last night and awoke at nine this morning. Almost twelve full hours of blissful necessary sleep cuddled up together.
Imagine my surprise to swing open the drapes and see the snow had blanketed everything. It brought such a smile to my face. The view was so spectacular that I woke RC up to enjoy it with me.
Seeing as we were up early, we packed up some domestic chores and headed out in the Jeep to complete the tasks at hand. Having him with me always make my day so much nicer, I sure love my man. I was so pleased he had today off so we could spend the time with one another.
We did our errand running, then had a really fantastic lunch out at a sushi restaurant. The roads were quite icy in our neighborhood, and luckily few people were driving on then. With the 4X4 on, we fared just fine thankfully.
While at a pit-stop at our local library RC found a poster on the community bulletin board, it caught his eye immediately. It was an advertising poster for an event happening at Douglas College. One of the models, was a woman we know, her image is the one most prominent on the poster. We were happy to see her hanging there on the library wall, so I took out my camera and snapped a photo of the poster. (I checked with her earlier and asked if I could re post my photo of the poster here on my blog, she said yes!)
(click the image to enlarge, the hot babe on the left is one of our peeps)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Reflections of a Woman
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
I achieved a level of educator success and notoriety that I had not even believed was possible.
My clitoral hood pierced in a setting of absolute support.
Ran a sex positive facility as my full time dream job.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did keep my New Years Resolution, though it took me till July to implement it in my life.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, but soon someone I am getting to know is going to POP.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not yet.
5. What countries did you visit?
Dominican Republic.
The USA.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A full time business assistant. More alone time with my daughter. My Masters Degree.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The date in July that I made a huge life change. The date of the US presidential election.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being compensated with the largest check I have ever received for a work project. It left me trembling with excitement.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not having more of a desire to reconcile long standing family discord.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, I am very healthy, unless you count my being fatigued almost full time.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new MacBook.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
A few people: RC's mom, Lisa M, Keith.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
No one has the power to depress me. Who appalled me, Marlee Ginter from Komo news.
14. Where did most of your money go?
A new wardrobe, a new beauty regime and sushi. Oh, and a growing teenager! (grins)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My daughter being such a grounded teenager who does awesome in everything she touches. My relationship with RC being so secure.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
N/A
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? same
c) richer or poorer? richer in money, opportunities and love
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Sleeping. Full body massages. Travel. Loving more.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Looking at my computer screen and answering e-mail.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
At home, with my daughter and RC. Then on the island with both sets of parents, his and mine.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes, I fell in deeper love with RC and found love for myself that had been forgotten about the year before.
22. How many one-night stands?
**Blushes** I will not kiss and tell.
23. What was your favourite TV program?
20/20
John and Kate Plus Eight
CSI
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate, I have no time to hate.
25. What was the best book you read?
I read at least thirty different sex related books and guides this past year. Too many to recount and all equally valuable, entertaining, and um, stimulating.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
N/A
27. What did you want and get?
Wanted 500 members at Libido Lounge through Orientation and got them all and then some.
28. What did you want and not get?
Weekends off of work.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
N/A
30. What did you do on your birthday?
Had dinner out with my man and was adored by friends.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Pregnancy or rather the birth of a child between RC and I.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Pulling it all together.
33. What kept you sane?
Alone time at home. Cuddling with my teenager. Love from RC.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Barack Obama.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Prop 8 - fuckers
36. Who did you miss?
A long lost friend with cancer.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Too many to count, our Lounge members continue to amaze me.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Keep at it no matter what. Work it, until you achieve it.
I achieved a level of educator success and notoriety that I had not even believed was possible.
My clitoral hood pierced in a setting of absolute support.
Ran a sex positive facility as my full time dream job.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did keep my New Years Resolution, though it took me till July to implement it in my life.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, but soon someone I am getting to know is going to POP.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not yet.
5. What countries did you visit?
Dominican Republic.
The USA.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A full time business assistant. More alone time with my daughter. My Masters Degree.
7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The date in July that I made a huge life change. The date of the US presidential election.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being compensated with the largest check I have ever received for a work project. It left me trembling with excitement.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not having more of a desire to reconcile long standing family discord.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, I am very healthy, unless you count my being fatigued almost full time.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new MacBook.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
A few people: RC's mom, Lisa M, Keith.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
No one has the power to depress me. Who appalled me, Marlee Ginter from Komo news.
14. Where did most of your money go?
A new wardrobe, a new beauty regime and sushi. Oh, and a growing teenager! (grins)
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My daughter being such a grounded teenager who does awesome in everything she touches. My relationship with RC being so secure.
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
N/A
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? same
c) richer or poorer? richer in money, opportunities and love
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Sleeping. Full body massages. Travel. Loving more.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Looking at my computer screen and answering e-mail.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
At home, with my daughter and RC. Then on the island with both sets of parents, his and mine.
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes, I fell in deeper love with RC and found love for myself that had been forgotten about the year before.
22. How many one-night stands?
**Blushes** I will not kiss and tell.
23. What was your favourite TV program?
20/20
John and Kate Plus Eight
CSI
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate, I have no time to hate.
25. What was the best book you read?
I read at least thirty different sex related books and guides this past year. Too many to recount and all equally valuable, entertaining, and um, stimulating.
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
N/A
27. What did you want and get?
Wanted 500 members at Libido Lounge through Orientation and got them all and then some.
28. What did you want and not get?
Weekends off of work.
29. What was your favorite film of this year?
N/A
30. What did you do on your birthday?
Had dinner out with my man and was adored by friends.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Pregnancy or rather the birth of a child between RC and I.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Pulling it all together.
33. What kept you sane?
Alone time at home. Cuddling with my teenager. Love from RC.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Barack Obama.
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Prop 8 - fuckers
36. Who did you miss?
A long lost friend with cancer.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Too many to count, our Lounge members continue to amaze me.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Keep at it no matter what. Work it, until you achieve it.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Business Survival
The management end of managing our business has grown exponentially, creating copious amounts of work and necessary file keeping.
It's just not about hosting events and teaching classes any more, there is a level of behind the scenes workload that is beyond comprehensible at times. It's costly and it is time consuming.
Keeping up with it all is do-able because we pay people to manage and execute many of the professional tasks that need done regularly. The rest of the items are remembered and tended to because some smart cookie in my life has time-lined everything that I need to do in order for me to care take things in an efficient and timely manner.
WCB is short for Workers Compensation Board and is where we pay into WorkSafeBC for our employees.
GST is now something that we file, because we now make XXX number of dollars and it thus has become mandatory.
This is an up-to-date list of all the support we require to make what we do happen for Libido Events, Libido Lounge, and those that come to us with a need surrounding sex-positive culture.
It's just not about hosting events and teaching classes any more, there is a level of behind the scenes workload that is beyond comprehensible at times. It's costly and it is time consuming.
Keeping up with it all is do-able because we pay people to manage and execute many of the professional tasks that need done regularly. The rest of the items are remembered and tended to because some smart cookie in my life has time-lined everything that I need to do in order for me to care take things in an efficient and timely manner.
WCB is short for Workers Compensation Board and is where we pay into WorkSafeBC for our employees.
GST is now something that we file, because we now make XXX number of dollars and it thus has become mandatory.
This is an up-to-date list of all the support we require to make what we do happen for Libido Events, Libido Lounge, and those that come to us with a need surrounding sex-positive culture.
- Corporate Income Tax
- Web Design
- Accounts Payable
- General Accounting
- Legal Assistance
- Jennifer's Ghost Assistant
- Laundry Services
- Food Services
- Shopping (office, kitchen & facility)
- Event Management & Planning
- Cleaners
- Maintenance
- Guest Educators
- Volunteer Coordinator
- Conference Planner
- Ask Me Anything (will do most anything not covered elsewhere)
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Dirty Talk
I just awoke from an hour long nap, as I was no longer able to stay conscious. After last nights Naughty Party, then this afternoons Exploratorium event there was not a drop of energy left in me and my ass was dragging. I'm feeling peppier now though.
This wonderful e-mail arrived to my professional account yesterday and it made me feel good both for my own self and also for the writer.
This wonderful e-mail arrived to my professional account yesterday and it made me feel good both for my own self and also for the writer.
Hi Jennifer!
I had intended to send you a note much sooner, but it is a busy time of year.......my apologies.
I realize that you likely won't remember me, given the number of people you must meet over the course of your week.
But I just wanted to say 'thank you' for your kindness at the orientation I attended November 25. As advertised, it was very interesting as well as educational. And as I mentioned to you afterwards, much less 'threatening' than I anticipated! Not quite sure what I was expecting, but I was also greatly relieved to see that the other people attending were essentially 'just like me', and I sensed that my lack of experience may not be as big an issue as I thought it might.
Becoming involved with Libidoevents is something I really want to do, though it is going to stretch my comfort zone - but that's a good thing!
Anyway, I just wanted to send you a note of encouragement to let you know your courage is appreciated and to thank you for making someone often labelled as 'painfully shy', comfortable.
Looking forward to attending my first event.
Kindest regards,
Lew (member # 494)
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