Friday, July 22, 2005

today's list

Last night I went and added a new presenter to the October conference line up. It's Vancouver's own Elwood.

Elwood is a local body modification artist whose done work (pierced, branded & cut) on me and my family. As well, I've hired him before over the years for other presentations and workshops and knew that you'd all want to see what he's going to be offering in the way of sex positive education at the Libido Events Vancouver Sexuality Empowerment Conference.

Today I'm working all day and then late tonight setting up the studio for tomorrow nights bondage party.

Tomorrow day time from 11:30-6:00 I work and then will head straight to the bondage party.

Jim is coming up tomorrow for the bondage event and a weekend with me! I'm so looking forward to having him here.

Later this weekend I plan on putting the Midori tickets out in stores so you can expect a mailout about that early next week and where you can pre purchase them.

My daughter is going to Grandmas for the weekend and I'm taking her to the ferry terminal at dinner time after my day of work.



Thursday, July 21, 2005

the next 16 days

Over the next 16 days I'm producing 9 events.

1 Bondage Play Party this Saturday night, open invite.

5 Workshops from Vancouver BC to Bellingham Washington and over to Seattle. (one of these is at ITW and two others are at The Wet Spot)

2 workshops with

1 Dine With The Diva Event.

And my daughter is home on summer holidays and oh yes, I have a day job. Then the poly partners and and and and

there is so much to do. Thankfully, I love what I do and whom I'm surrounded by.


Wednesday, July 20, 2005

cutting in the office

This morning as I walked through the door of work right at the stroke of 9 AM I was aware that my day was going to start a little differently than most around the office.

Yesterday, Tuesday while working, my friend comes over to my desk, looks around with shifty eyes, quickly whips up her skirt, and reveals a fresh cutting done on her thigh. She loved the way the cutting looked on her yet was unsure as to whether or not her emotional reactions to it's happening were natural and normal? or not? She told me a little of her experience and then I shared with her what I knew from attending classes on cuttings, being cut and cutting others myself.

Today I had the priviledge of taking my friend into the dungeon play area that she and her partner have off of their office and doing a fresh cutting over her existing one. I retraced the lines and went deeper. Me, my scalpel and I!

As she lay nearly naked, clothed only in little cotton panties, in the fetal posistion, upper outer thigh exposed to the light, I prepared us all.

Her partner had come from his office and we were all joined in the dungeon. She on the medical table and he and I standing talking. I like moments like these, where there is an exchange going on and where everyone is learning something and going forward.

Gloves on my hands, area to be cut disinfected, scalpel unsheathed and then....

Breathe, breathe again and keep breathing

breathe deep

Do not move.

Don't move.

Stop moving.

Stop moving now.

Good breathing.

Excellent job being still.

You're doing great!

Can you see the outline of the circle I've cut? Look. Can you see it? I'm holding up a folded piece of paper towel that I'd applied to the cutting to saturate the little bit of blood that was there. It was really more for the visual effect! Your red blood is so bright on the white, it looks like Crayola yet we know it's not.

Beads of blood slowly come to the surface and where I've sliced opens to reveal the rawness that is you.

See what I did! I cut you! And now I'm showing you the pattern on this papertowel. You're blood did this. This is you.


Breathe again.

Keep breathing.

I'm going to keep going two more passes around the circle to create circles in circles. Took concentration, a steady hand and skill to do, so please don't try this at home.

1/16, with a disposable blade - it's a lot of power.

She breathed and didn't pass out. Didn't vomit and didn't climb the walls for me like had happened when her partner cut her.

I looked down at her at one moment during it all, and temporarily her eyes, were not squished shut. They were open wide and she had incredible focus on her body and what sensations she was noticing as my blade was cutting her skin open.

She wanted a scar and I had the rare priviledge of playing part to it all. And now she and her partner/Top will continue on there merry way and he likely will keep cutting her on those lines that he first started as it is something symbolic between them.

By 9:45 AM I was seated at my desk working at the computer. My friend, still only clad in panties was sitting on the office floor working with her fresh cutting drying in the morning sun. Her partner back in his office, taking a client call.

Worked diligently at my desk till it was time to leave to get my daughter from day camp. Day camp pick up, doctors office visit, fruit and veggies at the market, trip to the bank and now home to Blog and put away groceries.

Tonight at 7 I've an appointment in the city with a local porn producer whose talking with me about a project he'd like to use me for - an SM shoot.

Dinner will be late tonight as it's to hot to cook out yet and I've still got to zip out for an hour.

Sometimes I'm amazed at all that get's done in one day...

Hope to see many of you at this Saturday July 23rds Bondage Play Party


Monday, July 18, 2005

cupcakes, haircuts and Daddy

Yesterday, that beautiful sunny day that happened had me down on Denman Street in The West End of Vancouver by 10 in the morning to get my haircut at a friends favorite salon. Lucky me not having to drive as I was whisked to the hair dresser as a passenger in my friends car. Oh how I hate driving.

While I was reclined back having my head massaged and shampooed by Jeff the hairdresser my friend went over to Cupcakes on Denman. An order of 2 dozen cupcakes to go along with a box of a dozen assorted iced mini cupcakes for my daughter and I to share is what she came back with. Cupcakes makes incredible little morsels of love. And boy do I ever have a sweet tooth! The gift was tasty and thoughtful, thanks F - both my daughter and I enjoyed them last night after dinner. In case you've never been these Cupcakes can be found at 1116 Davie Street. They've got a very cute site, enjoy!

Yesterday afternoon my daughter returned home after being away for over a week. It made me so happy to see her come through the front door and drop her stuff and come straight to me for some loving. I missed her so much, the last few days apart were a little rough, we were starting to phone and email one another to keep up. It's good to have her home with me. Of course, last night had her sleeping in my bed, and she drifted off to sleep listening to the sound of her mother at work typing on the computer. It's what she knows me to do.

Today I worked from 9:15-1:15 and it's easier to do with my daughter in summer day camp as I'm not feeling guilty about her being home alone while I'm out working. She's in day camp all week Monday - Friday. (thankfully as I work every day but Wednesday) This evening was again spent catching up as a mother to my daughter and readying for the upcoming October conference.

Jims been away in Olympia for days now and has just returned to Bellingham. I'm hoping that he'll be up tomorrow night with me as I'm in need of time with my Daddy. When I've got a lot going on in my life, I spend more time on my Daddies lap, figuring things out and calming myself down. It's my safe place, the place where things get fixed, healed and loved.

I'm overwhelmed as of late with work commitments and long term projects and Daddy helps to prioritize things for me so I can keep going. He's the person who calms the shakes that wash over my body often as I realize all that I've left to accomplish. He's the man who picks me up and dusts me off when the politics of my activism knock me down, over and over. He's the person who doesn't see me as Jennifer the sex activist, but rather as Jennifer the little girl and the woman struggling to mature my own way. I'm not looking to grow old based on how I was raised, society or fate. He's the man who recognizes that in me are layers upon layers to be revealed and he celebrates pulling back these layers with me and for me. My Daddy loves me and I love him, regardless of whether or not I'm calling him Jim or Daddy. It's because I'm so well taken care of and nurtured by my Daddy as his little girl that I'm able to head out in the world alone each day as the strong capable woman that I am.

Not wanting to ruin this idealic vision and all of my Daddy and I but here's the deal. There is a whole other side to our relationship than lapsitting and making Jennifer feel better that's more about my Daddy and this is a seperate Blog post another day. Know though that my Daddy takes liberties with my body & self, makes rules and enforces them on me, ties me up and suspends me, takes from me things you would call personal freedoms and all the while keeps me safe and loved. Another post, another day.

There is a photo on the front of my worksite of my thighs & mons, Daddy took it a few months back after some private bondage play time between us. Looking at the rope marks on my thighs I remember how uncontrolled & antsy I'd felt inside till he finally tied me up. Then finally tied up tight, the feeling of flight of body and soul as I was unable to move yet my emotions / lust took off in flight. My feet could not get me anywhere for a change since I was bound and I had no choice but to submit to the sensations that both the rope and my Daddy were creating in and on me. Go and have a peek at the photo it's at the bottom of this page. And while there read about this Saturday July 23rds Bondage Play party that I'm hosting.

I should get back to work now so there will still be some time left in the night for me to sleep.


Daddys girl