Friday, July 02, 2010

Riding a Bike

Allena gave me a new bike a few weeks ago, so I could drive around town with the baby in tow all summer long. Then earlier today Jason and I went and purchased a a baby stroller that clips onto the bike and pulls the baby along at ground level.

Until this afternoon I had not been on a bicycle in 27 years. The last time I rode a bike, it did not have gears. That is how inexperienced I am as a cyclist. My new bike has twenty one gears and to stop, one does not peddle backwards, rather one utilizes the thumb controls on the handle bars. Very, very freaky.

Jason already had a bike so he was set. We donned our helmets and he quickly gave me a riding tutorial on the street out front of our house, before we began our adventure.

I was lucky that Jason hooked the carrier onto his bike today because I had and continue to have a large learning curve attached to navigating myself on a bicycle. Pickle had such a great ride. First we went to Costco, then we headed out on the open road and over a bridge and up a hill.

My thighs burned. And my legs were wobbly. But I did it. It was fun and bicycling constitutes exercise as well.

The draw backs thus far to biking are that the seat really really hurt my girl bits. And the seat kept pushing my clitoral hood piercing way further out of place to even be considered comfortable. My pelvic floor feels bruised and is not at all pleased with the abuse it suffered.

As I see it, if my pussy is going to hurt from doing something I enjoy, then I best be getting some orgasms attached to it too. No orgasms, means either no further bike riding, or a new seat.

Since I enjoy the bike riding and it is far better than jogging, I now find myself in search of the perfect "seat".

Anyone know if they exist and where to buy an infant helmet?

Thursday, July 01, 2010

Let me just start of by saying, that this story, is totally true and was sent to me by a good friend and Lounge member. To say my job is critical, is an understatement. Often people don't realize what they do not know, until they meet someone with more information than them.

Interesting story.

This just shows me the ignorance of our youth and why you (Jennifer) talk to Colleges.

My co-worker who I will call Lori is 21. Decides to go clubbing Wednesday and wants to use tampons for the first time but is a virgin. She comes to me for advise. I suggested a wee bit of Vaseline to assist (that’s what I did the first time and it worked). So she does this and reports back that it was perfect but, …. she didn’t know how to pee with it in.

I just looked at her for a moment. She's dead, serious and waiting for me to tell her. Every time she had to pee, she removed her tampon. She asked her friends how to pee with the tampon and no one knew.

I explained that she had 3 holes (urethra, vaginal and anus). She freaked out and said she did NOT have 3.

I politely explained it to her and then showed her actual diagrams and walked her through it all. Seriously, Anatomy 101.

21 yrs. old. None of her friends knew. I was floored. Again, this is why you do what you do.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Vancouver Trans Forum, 3 events

Saturday, July 3rd @ Rhizome Cafe (317 e broadway)
Doors: 7pm
Movie: 8pm
Discussion: 9pm

Vancouver's Trans Forum, in collaboration with Divergence Movie Nights, presents a screening of Screaming Queens: The Riot At Compton's Cafeteria. A film by Victor Silverman & Susan Stryker (2005), Screaming Queens "tells the little-known story of the first known act of collective, violent resistance to the social oppression of queer people in the United States -- a 1966 riot in San Francisco's impoverished Tenderloin neighbourhood, three years before the famous gay riot at New York's Stonewall Inn." Join us afterward for a discussion about the historical relationship between (cis)LGB and trans communities.

Sunday, July 4th @ Rhizome Cafe (317 e broadway)
Doors: 5pm
Movie: 6pm
Discussion: 7:00pm

Vancouver's Trans Forum, in collaboration with Divergence Movie Nights, presents a screening of Transparent. A film by Jules Rosskam (2005), Transparent
focuses on 19 female-to-male spectrum folks' "lives as parents, revealing the diverse ways in which each person reconciles giving birth and being a biological mother with his masculine identity, and through the variety of genders the children use to conceive of their parents." Join us afterward for a panel and discussion about issues affecting trans parents/families

Saturday, July 10th @ Rhizome Cafe (317 e broadway)
Doors: 7pm
Movie: 8pm
Discussion: 9pm

Vancouver's Trans Forum, in collaboration with Divergence Movie Nights, presents a screening of Still Black - A Portrait of Black Trans Men. A film by Kortney Ryan Ziegler (2008), Still Black explores the lives of six black transgender men living in the United States. Through the intimate stories of their lives as artists, students, husbands, fathers, lawyers, and teachers, the film offers viewers a complex and multi-faceted image of race, sexuality and trans identity. That night there will also be a screening of the short film Two Spirit People. A film by Michel Beauchemin, Lori Levy & Gretchen Vogel (1991), Two-Spirit People is an overview of historical and contemporary Native American concepts of gender, sexuality and sexual orientation. Join us afterward for a panel and discussion on issues affecting racialized trans people

(all proceeds will go to the Vancouver Trans Forum + Divergence Movie Nights)

The Rhizome's entrance is wheelchair accessible, although the bathrooms are quite small.

Also please note that the Rhizome's kitchen will be open for food and drink during the event!

Stay tuned for more film fest announcements for the week of July 19th to 22nd

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Expert Hand Job

Giving An Expert Hand Job

It's not what you think this about. I'm certain.

Stand at a utility sink with a paint roller in one hand as it rests on the floor of the sink.

Turn on the water and leave it running.

With one hand, firmly grasp the roller while holding it vertically.

With your free hand, wrap your palm around it and squeeze it from top to bottom in long, slow, smooth strokes.

Gently shake the whole package now and again to stimulate the removal of the extra paint.

After repeating the squeezing and pull gesture many times, with warm water running over the roller, a sudden burst will gush out the end.

Stroke fast now, until not one drop of paint is left inside.

You are not finished yet.

Hold up the roller and rinse it off, otherwise when you next use it, you will find yourself with a sticky mess to contend with.