Saturday, January 07, 2006

live in concert

just over an hour ago my daughter and I arrived home safe and sound. Our ears are still ringing, the vibrations from the music are still pumping life through our veins.

At the PNE tonight, we had tickets [a Christmas present] to see Hilary Duff live in concert. Given that my daughter whose 12 is truly coming of age, she amazed me this evening with dancing & cheering for someone who is her first music icon. Duff, go figure. This was also our second time seeing Hilary live.

It was a lengthy concert and filled in the coliseum to capacity was what appeared to be every woman / young woman of child bearing age in the GVRD. Probably 90% in the crowd this evening was female; it was shocking to see what some mothers allowed their daughters to be wearing or behaving like.

Suffice to say, we had such a wonderful night out together and it's another experience I'm grateful I had the chance to share with my child.

Now, sitting naked watching the news, just out of the tub, towel wrapped around my head and I've got some final details to complete on this project on my desktop before I can head off to bed.

Bed and sleep is where I should be given that tomorrow I'm teaching two classes in Birch Bay for the Adult Friend Finder Group in the afternoon.


Friday, January 06, 2006

rattan canes

standing only in a little pink thong, attached is a ruffled skirt of about 3 inches of fabric in sheer hearts covering my moist bits, pink ankle strap heart pumps and my purple tinkerbell blanket as a cape over my bare shoulders / body. The party is loud but the noise doesn't detract from two luscious friends of mine Brendan & Juju that I see coming towards me through all the people.

Bad Juju Designs is the company they own and they make custom hand finished rattan canes. The colors are wild and the sizes of canes are vast, what great kinky canes they make.

Juju handed me the most lovely two canes, thin & whispy in pink and oh my if they weren't tied up in a beautiful pink ribbon to boot. Much fun will be had caning some upper inner thighs, cocks that I'm partial to and some breasts that are in need of attention; these new canes are sized perfectly just for those delicate areas. I love new toys and I certainly enjoy being able to do things to people with the toys that I own.

Bad Juju Designs

You both are such sexy kissers, I found it very erotic that in one night we finally had the right set of circumstances for such an amazing first kiss. Each of you.

That these new implements match the rest of the set of pink canes that they have made for me is making me feel quite special, a full set of 6. sweet : ) Thank you both for the kindness!



Thursday, January 05, 2006

surgery date

it seems that the answer to the issue of my breast is surgery.

On February 1, I will be having the offending lump removed from my left breast in hospital.

The lump is in the exact same spot as last time. [3 years ago] And I'm looking forward to having this pea size problem out of me, and because of my last breast issue, when the operation is finished they are going to start me on a full round of antibiotics this time.

In the mean time, before surgery, I have 14 events to host in January and much work to get done. It's my hope that this whole surgery will be nothing more than a small inconvenience in my otherwise busy sex-positive world.

Want to share a sentiment of hope or words of encouragement?? Well, I'm all ears...


Tuesday, January 03, 2006

breast news today

Today I've a 10:30 appointment with the breast surgeon and from there I head straight to work till 6:00pm. What a long day today will be, both emotionally & physically. However it will be good to have some resolution to the issue of my left breast and the lump from hell.

Slept like a log last night after catching up on days worth of e-mail: the result of being in the United States over New Years and not wanting to open my laptop. Now back to the routine and grind of another year... Happy 2006 everyone!


Monday, January 02, 2006

someone else's writing

A Story of Experiencing: Tie Me to the Bedposts, Please!
A Libido Events course on bondage
By Shantar

(note from Jennifer: I taught this class privately for the BiSexual Girls Group of Vancouver BGV in the living room and dining room of one of their members. The class is a bedroom bondage basics class and the writer wrote this story of her experience for the BGV January 06 newsletter, much to my surprise. My cattle prod is sometimes brought to classes as a fun little sensation seeker toy that makes for good conversation in classes. Sometimes as in this case, someone namely the writer, and another half dozen atleast tried it that evening at my hand, the leap from Wow, conversation starter, to WOW, impact maker.)

It was a fabulous time that went by so very quickly! I was able to try pallet wrap as a restraint tool, and this time I was both wrapper and wrappee! I won't be able to use my electric toothbrush without giggling...I never knew one would work so well in all those tight, hot places of my mummified partner.

For me, the sensation of being totally enclosed, (even my toes!) with ice in all the hot spots and a vibrating toothbrush humming and buzzing along the plastic was amazing; nails on skin that was exposed and vulnerable due to a carefully cut hole in the wrap were shiver-inducing. Made with safety scissors, of course.

I had a chance to test a boundary of mine that night. You know how some boundaries are kind of fluid, or grey? The type where your partner can ease you over it, gradually introduce you to something. Well this boundary of mind didn't have an “ease line”. I either did it. Or I didn't. “There is no try,” to quote Yoda.

Jennifer, our class facilitator, mentor, instructor and generally amazing sex educator, had a new electric cattle prod. Now I have this thing with electricity. It likes me. I mean, it really likes me. My muscles react way over the top whenever I come into contact with it. Apparently, it's due to a high salt content in my blood. Weird, but true. In any case, it means I conduct really, really well, so electrical stimulation is INTENSE.

So there I was, laid out on the carpet in a warm room, wrapped from shoulders to toes in clingy, clear plastic film, and blind-folded. Jennifer's voice drifted over towards me. She was speaking to the pair of women next to me.

"Do you know what I have with me? It's my cattle prod." Anxiety tightens my belly muscles, and my breathing hitches a bit. I'm right beside them. Next in line. For a force I'm so fearful of. But I know nothing will happen unless I say "Yes. Yes, I can handle that."

So the internal dialogue begins within myself: my paranoid, protective skeptic (yes, even kinksters have them!), and my rational mind.

"No way I’m doing that! It would be so harsh. You remember what it felt like the time the dishwasher shorted out and you were pregnant!?!"

"I remember. I was so afraid for the baby. But listen to the giggles going on beside you. She’s wrapped up, yet seems to enjoy it, and she's not afraid." (Cue delightful little yelps and eeps.)

"What if I need to move? I'm all wrapped up, I can barely budge. If I cramp up, what then?"

"There are medical scissors right here, with your partner. You’d be released very quickly."

"I’ve heard the sensation can be really strong for some people, and it can last quite a while..."

"You've handled strong sensations before. Your first flogging was for half an hour. You remember what that was like? Intense, but good, so very, very good. Aren't you just a bit curious?"

"Well, yes...but…I'm scared."

The sound of clothing rustling: Jennifer moving to my side. "Well, Shantar, what about you? Do you want to try?"

"That would really be pushing a limit," comes out in a strangled voice.

"Is that a yes...or a no?" her silky voice inquires, dropping half an octave.

”She asked!”

"So, what now?"

"I'm still not sure..."

"You're with someone you trust, in a roomful of like-minded women. If not here, now, then with whom, where, and when?"

"o...ok. OK. I will!

"Yes", I reply aloud. It’s the longest word I can manage. Three seconds have passed.

I feel warmth drape itself along my right side; Jennifer has snuggled up beside me, her presence lending me strength.“Put your head on my arm”, she instructs. I feel a little foolish, but I slide a bit more towards her, and rest my neck against the crook of her left arm. I relax into her warmth, and the tension in my body begins to ease. It is peaceful lying beside her.

A hand brushes against the only opening cut into my pallet-wrap cocoon—earlier my upper thighs and crotch were bared to the whims of my partner. It is on that delicate inner thigh I feel a warm hand, holding cool plastic, stop. “I’ll do her right here, on the upper thigh.”

Internal voices howl in unison: “Sheeeeiiiiiit! For a panicy moment I seriously consider scooching under the table.

“Breathe…”, Jennifer instructs quietly.

First breath in…

“Remember what Dossie Easton said…deep breaths. Belly breaths. Send down the cord, connect to the earth, to strength, to red warmth.” The basic tenant of Tantric breathing.

Slow exhale…tension sliding away…

“She’s going to do it on the exhale next time…”

“Hush…you could stop it if you wished. Right now.”

Second breath in..

“Midori does, on the second one…”

“Do you want to?”

Slow exhale…toes curling

“Hey, she didn’t!”

“Do you want to stop?”

Third breath in…

“Everyone, breath with Shantar…” a hint of excitement in Jennifer’s voice, warm enthusiasm and encouragement flow behind the words. I feel and hear the whole room inhale…a shared moment of energy, of intention, of anticipation. A dozen women lend their strength…and I spiral out to the room to encompass what is offered.


“Do you want to stop?”



Then…bzzzzt! Air whooshes out of my lungs and I jackknife in a ‘v’. Muscles spasm from sternum to right knee. “Huhhhhh”, I manage, eloquently. Heart trip-hammering in my chest, breath huffing and puffing in gasps.

“You did it! You survived!” Laughter in Jennifer’s voice; joyous ribbing at my reaction. A whisper in my ear: “It’s really quite the mind fuck, isn’t it?” I nod once, not yet trusting myself to speak. A few moments of stunned amazement, then a grin begins to appear on my face.



Yes, it was an intense experience. But I did survive. The funny thing is it didn’t hurt, exactly. More like getting the wind knocked out of me. And that huge muscle clench…

“I wonder what it’d feel like to have that hit right at the moment of orgasm…”


The reference to Dossie Easton came from the class she ran on “Radical Ecstasy”, a part of the Libido Events Vancouver Sexpo held last fall. I highly recommend the book of the same name.