Saturday, October 11, 2008
I beat on a girl, who I seriously just looked at, and said "get naked". She was out of her panties and top quicker than a blink of an eye. Lay out on your belly on the Red Rocket I stated, she complied fast.
With tools in hand, I the aggressor used them to mark her pale flesh. With each strike that landed upon her backside, I could see the color rushing fast to the surface. It was obvious our pace was leaving her breathless, and I exhilarated, so I kept going.
One implement after another I pulled from my toy bag and wielded like a pro. She, the tall striking beauty was giggling out of control. Non stop laughter rolled through her loudly as I swung, struck, bit and hit her. Endorphins had made her loopy and had me chuckling at the absurdity of it all.
When her skin would have been broken from just-0ne-more-strike, I had her turn herself over, face up, so I could have a go at some fresh flesh all the while making eye contact with her.
Using pressure points and a bead chain flogger, easily I sent her into a sub-space zone that I knew she had been longing to get to. A zipper over her labia lips and a pull with brute force, drew forth more hysterical laughter and squirming to the point that I had to hold her still with one leg of mine stabilizing her on the piece of equipment so she would not end up on the floor.
She never fell off, and she continued laughing through it all. Good good times.
A short while later, with a single tail in my hand, I let loose on another woman, a long time friend. After leaving my mark on her, I had her climb into the sex swing, where I slid my hand into her pussy and gave some serious attention to her G-Spot. When the tears were flowing and her happiness was evident, I slid myself into my strap-on and worked my cock up inside of her. Another woman stood behind my willing victim threatening to give her an under-duck. She swung and I thrusted, it was mucho amounts of fun.
The party ended later on and at that time a few of us girls had a brilliant idea. Four of us were going to drive down to a seedy neighborhood in the city and visit a gay bath house together.
We made it in the front door in one piece and quickly found our little private room. One of the gals gave me a tour of the space and then I quickly excused myself to go walk through it all again in-slow-motion. I checked out every nook and cranny. I visited the steam room, the showers, the restroom, I watched some men fondle one another on a public viewing bed, and I peeked inside many of the private rooms where the doors had been left open in the hopes that some one would enter and "put out". I ran my hands over the leather swing in the virtually black tv room, then sat on the leather sofa watching porn for awhile.
The men followed me, and asked questions of me, loads of questions. Some men touched me, it was all highly amusing. I held so much power in this place. I was a woman and they were all hungry lustful men. Though I had no interest in playing with these men, I most certainly felt their want.
Eventually I made my way back to the rental room us girls had together and joined in the cuddle puddle happening on the bed. One of the girls was laying on my shoulder and arm and I was stroking her appreciatively, when suddenly she squeezed one of her nipples and I was hit in the eye and cheek by breast milk.
The other women were on the opposite end of the bed cuddled together and one was rubbing my feet. We four stayed together laughing talking and naked sharing for awhile, it felt really wonderful. Then, it was time to put back on our slutty part clothing remains from Dirty Girls, and make our way out of the place.
NOTES: if I had not been the strong independent woman that I am, AND accompanied by three other strong women, I never would have gone to this co-ed night at a gay mans bath house. Although it was clean, there are NO house rules and no person in charge of monitoring behavior. For the majority of women I know who spend time at sex events, they would not have enjoyed this experience, it was just too dark and not ready or set-up for women.
Friday, October 10, 2008
I soaked in a hot bath, shaved everything and then lotion-ed and powdered all my body smooth.
Yesterday I had a perfect manicure.
I have on my "outfit" already and am feeling really good in it. New black & white Chinese Laundry high heeled pumps, silky stockings, snow white garter belt and robins egg blue bustier.
I bbq'd a beautifully tasty fillet mignon steak a short while ago, and had potatoes with peppers, mushrooms and spices to complete the meal.
RC is away for the long weekend and so is my daughter. I am all on my own and working through most of the next forty eight hours. When not at an event, I'll be curled up in bed, sound asleep.
Oops, I just remembered that I have yet to pack my toy bag. I may be working but that certainly does not preclude me from having a good time.
There are three women right now who are in my radar zone, and I am hoping to give each of them some attention. Women, sexy sexy women ... goodness they leave me hot and bothered. That these lovelies have hunted me down makes it all that much easier for me to plow forward with my plans.
Oh yes, I am most certainly looking forward to DIRTY GIRLS this evening. A night of decadence and women.
RC may be away, but I am confident that he will be in bed this evening, fantasizing about what I am doing, and whom I am doing it to.
Thursday, October 09, 2008
A man from my past, recently made contact with me. Oh, the joys of social networking and FaceBook. He reminded me of how far I have come since my turbulent teenage years and reintroduced himself to me.
After his most welcome email, he and I exchanged a few more detail rich emails in which he filled in some gaps in my memory to that sad time in my life. He was a lot older than me back then and his recollections of that period of time is without doubt clearer than mine could have been.
Today I opened my email account and found this most touching letter.
Jennifer,I am so proud of you! You have take what may have seemed like an insurmountable situation and changed it into some thing good. It brings to mind two things:1. An old Sunday School Chorus that you might remember-"Something beautiful, something good,All of my confusion, He understood.All I had to offer Him was brokenness and strife,And He made something beautiful of my life."2. And the story of Joseph, whose brothers sought to kill him, sold him into slavery, and then when he had risen to the top of the heap, lied to him about the final words of his father. They told him (afraid now that their father was dead, Joseph would take the opportunity to get even) that on his death bed their father had commanded Joseph to forgive his brothers. Joseph stopped them mid-stride. He said "Am I God?" What you have intended for evil; God intended for good!" Some translations of Gen. 50:20 read "What you intended for evil, God changed into something good." How appropo when I consider your journey, "sometimes the journey is the destination."And there you have it. What began in your life as an evil, has become something good, something beautiful! Who would have thunk it back on XXXXX. But you have take this evil and redeemed it. Wow! I am so proud of you, and I am so glad that I may have played some small part in your redemption.Regarding the newspaper articles about you. Somewhere in my personal archives I have kept a copy of the original article. When I find it I will send off a copy. The original is yellow and tattered, so it will not scan well, but I will make a copy and send it off as soon as it surfaces (I will include the story of how I found it and the thrill that rose in my spirit when I read it).For now, hold your head high, "I will cause the rains to come, when it is time there will be showers of blessing" (Eze. 34:26).Blessings
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
In the afternoon with RC at my side we tackled a load of domestic duties that were in dire need of our attention. For three hours we sped around at a fast pace doing the chores that often get put to the back burner due to our hectic life schedule. I do much more enjoy doing said tasks with my hottie boyfriend with me. Plus it makes everything go so much quicker with two sets of hands and some one to split the driving with.
After our accomplishments were complete we had a date planned with one another. We drove to the Lounge, stripped out of clothes, played some music in the back ground and set our minds to seducing one another.
With Honey Dust, a paddle, lubricant, a sex swing and hungry lust we devoured each other with a ferocious appetite. Sex in the middle of the day, is especially great when there is no one else around, because at home, there is a teenager. We had fun, were playful, took photographs and acted silly. In the end though the orgasms were intense and necessary to bring our sex session to an end. We needed to return home for dinner and family time. :)
So without further ado, this photo best captures our adventurous afternoon.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
A whole dozen.
Another orientation this evening and in it, another twelve individuals became members of the Lounge.
A great group of women and men, couples and singles. Some I've known for years, a few come from classes I've taught and a couple were simply from the mailing list.
That people seek out Libido Lounge to further their sexual journeys, to gain solid sex education skills, as a resource for sex culture, a home for their fantasies to be played out and even others in the hopes of meeting some new friend, lover or play partner fills me with such pride.
One person this evening bought a Life Time Membership. We are doing everything right, and it shows in who surrounds us due to our business plan and my activism.
It's powerful the work we do, and valued too.
Monday, October 06, 2008
Of course the above list is in no particular order or priority, and each of the items is constantly being scrutinized.
Buying a new home.
When to have a baby.
Holidays relatively soon.
Masters Degree, completion.
New web site.
Emotionally I'm feeling taxed. Uncertain what my next steps should be, or how to relinquish control to fate and trust in the fact that what will be, will be.
It's not like I'm a single women, I have RC, Allena, a teenager and family to prop me up. Yet finalizing decisions on these big topics is not something I'm feeling ready to do quite yet.
I believe that when opportunity knocks, we will just swing open the door happily to what has arrived as next.
Goddess help me.
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Hi Jennifer. We haven't met yet, but will on XXXX night when I come with Greg to class. He is playing a huge role in my life, influencing me by gently, persistently, patiently challenging my awareness of my sexuality, and I understand you play a huge part in this new self awareness. I thank him for guiding me on a journey of finding my soul. So I must say thank you to you too.
I feel like I can't get enough of this new journey. I have a wonderful life, and felt completely content with it as it was, until meeting Greg. Now I am reading books, websites, examining my thoughts and responses, not only to him but to myself, to music, (which is something I must have), to my fantasies. Never did I expect to find this at 52 yrs of age. Wonderful stuff!
I look forward to meeting you and continuing this journey - and I thank you for being out there for all of us. To quote "The Joy of Sex" - why do most women want it, hard, and harder? Because we were told we shouldn't want it, it was dirty, it was to please your man.... once we allow ourselves to participate and make our needs known, we want all of it now - there doesn't seem to be enough time to make up for lost time!
And I am spreading the word. Seems the more this all has become as normal as eating and sleeping and working and ..., the more I am free to discuss what i am experiencing. How much fun it has been to share it with my daughter, my girlfriends, my hairdresser.... the list goes on! :)
See you soon. It will be an honor to meet you. Sincerely, Rebecca
And this next email is from a man who attended last Saturday's Naughty Party, it is sizzling hot to read and it was even more enjoyable to have witnessed it all first hand. My job has some serious good points now and then.
Words cannot describe the experience—but I’ll try
The following story is 100% true. The names of the people involved are entirely fake.
It’s been a few months since I was convinced to join the Libido Lounge, which has been an eye-opening experience in several ways. It’s been a few months more since Catherine and I agreed to make our relationship open and polyamorous. Introducing first non-monogamy, then kink into my life has wrought some changes, obviously. Perhaps I should have blogged more about these things at the time, but que sera, sera.
A while back, I ran into someone once or twice at these events. Having dinner with Catherine after listening to a seminar by rope guru Jay Wiseman, I found myself to my great surprise telling her, with respect to this person, I don’t know if I have a type in guys, but if I do, that guy’s it. I found myself wondering whether he played with boys. I found myself rather torn, too. I was happily open-minded enough by now not to feel any moral qualms, but discovering an attraction to someone of the same sex is still a rather upsetting experience, in the literal sense, causing me to question things about my sexuality that I had thought were fundamental. Additionally, I was naturally curious to see if this might ever go somewhere, but I had no idea what his sexual orientation was. If I broached the subject—I wasn’t afraid of offending (anyone, in these circles, who took offence to that should not be in these circles!), but of building false hopes. What if he were interested in guys, what if he took an interest, what if I then discovered that I really, truly am the 0 on the Kinsey scale I had always thought? I hate being a let-down to anyone.
Things took a further, convoluted twist. This guy, Will, turned out to be dating a girl, Sandy, whom Catherine was dating (and with whom I hope to build a relationship, too), who’s very much into rope bondage. As a result, the four of us found ourselves at a play party shortly thereafter, in a room together, me tied up on the floor in a rather immobile configuration and, under the gentle ministrations of crops and Wartenburg wheels, getting my first introduction to subspace. The three of them were doing things, though I could never tell you who did what—even if I hadn’t been in a trance-like state at the time, I was tied up in such a way that I couldn’t see. That heightened the experience, but it didn’t really resolve my questions. I believe it was then that I confided to Sandy just how curious and conflicted I was. She smiled at me and told me not to worry.
Well, about a week ago I got a message from Will: “you want to go with me as a 'couple' (basically together) to this Saturday's play party? I'm not trying to seduce you (but whatever happens between consensual adults, hehe), but would love to do some BDSM play with you…”
Well, this was it—this was clearly it. A one-on-one play with Will? This would resolve my questions; it could be incredibly exciting, or it could end in an absolute disaster of awkwardness as I found out, mid-play, that no, I really am one hundred percent straight.
I think it’s some credit to my personal growth that I had the courage to say yes.
There was some negotiation during the week, where I gave prior consent to some things I never thought I’d hear myself agree to (from a guy at least!), and ruled out some other things (some for medical reasons, some because, honestly, I’m not nearly as hardcore as Will is when he subs). Saturday came around; there was a workshop before the party, but the topic was negotiation and he clearly felt he knew what that was about; I felt that I was getting a practical introduction. He was to pick me up at eight. I was to bring my kilt and wear a shirt that I could stand to have damaged.
By the time eight o’ clock approached I was so nervous that my hands were quite literally and violently trembling. Typing was getting tricky, eating difficult, taking some pills that I had to take nearly impossible—I had trouble holding on to the damned things. My stomach was churning with the kind of butterfly wings that might famously destroy Tokyo. By the time we actually arrived at the Lounge (and I had seen the size of the monstrous wooden paddle Will was bringing), I was more physically stable, but probably just because my trembling had hit a node of resonance. I never came very near chickening out, but I did come very close to wishing I dared to (funny thought, that; potentially lacking the courage to chicken out).
The ropework wasn't terribly intricate. I was tied up standing upright, hands to my thighs, completely inescapable as the ropes went through D-rings in my double-locking leather bracelets. Rope around my torso, outside my shirt. There wasn’t much play going on, and though I was facing a wall I knew there were people watching (though oh, I didn’t know how many), and this was the point where I thought the whole thing might just might have been a mistake.
If I believed in any god, this is where I’d have thanked him for blindfolds. I thought I was going to faint when Will was cutting the buttons off my shirt.
I don’t think I can go into too much detail about the rest. At the point where my shirt was cut to shreds and ripped off me, I was gritting my teeth with nerves. Cupping, Wartenberg wheels…I couldn’t tell you in what order any of this happened. At some point around here, I started sinking into subspace, that blissful trance where I give in to the fact that I have no control over what‘s happening, and with the aid of the blindfold, self-consciousness eventually subsided and faded away. I do know what came last—a series of hits for each of my birthdays (though the numbers weren’t quite consistent: One was marked by about forty pretty light strokes; some of the teenage strokes…dear god).
I’d never previously understood why people wanted pain. I’ve heard Will speak of pain for the sake of pleasure and pain for the sake of pain; I got the former, but why should anyone ever want the latter? And yet I took a good number of hits that made me cry out, that made my knees buckle, and on any other occasion or in any other state of mind I’m sure I’d have used the safeword…but by then I was so deep in subspace, so blissed out on norepinephrine that even though, yes, fuck it hurt every time that bigger-than-cricket-bat paddle hit me (let alone that awful metal crop), that between every stroke, I was sagging over the padded horse I was bent over, smiling like I’ve never smiled before…once the sting subsided, until I recovered enough to straighten my buckled knees for the next one.
I don’t know if Will—or anyone—could see that smile, the way I was sagging over that thing.
I’m sure there’s plenty more that could be said about the night, but I couldn’t tell you. If you wanted a blow-by-blow account (pun intended), you’d have to ask Will—or perhaps a bystander. I gather the whole thing lasted very roughly an hour and a half. I couldn’t have told you; it might have been forty-five minutes or four hours, for all I knew. The one other thing I really do know and will never forget is that Will slipped a condom on me and sucked my cock.
Oh my fucking god, a guy sucked my cock in front of a roomful of people. Me, the guy who used to be so skittish of male physical contact that some of my best friends have teased me about being a homophobe (however philosophically accepting).
And I don’t have much more to say about that except that the lower pitch of a man’s voice makes for entirely different vibrations even from a simple moan, “Mmmm”.
After the whole ordeal was over, my knees buckled after the last blow of whatever frightful bat or paddle was used to celebrate my twenty-sixth birthday, my hands finally untied, we walked into the next room. I’m told that a few people asked if I was all right—I gather I was pretty visibly out of it, very far from reality at the moment. (Jennifer, the hostess, assured them that I was okay since someone was following me; alone, not so much.) Aftercare is a very real, very important, very necessary thing. And it struck me as being in some measure ironic that before last night, that alone—the very idea of sitting on a couch and cuddling with a guy—would have seemed to me to some degree shocking, outrageous…
It was an evening that took me that much deeper into subspace, showed me why submissives like even the pain that isn’t enjoyable, introduced me to things that I never knew I’d be introduced to, and broke sexual boundaries I never thought would be broken. I’ve had intense experiences before, but never one where so many walls of taboos where shattered all at once.
Here’s hoping I’ll see you soon again, Dude.