Saturday, January 20, 2007

lesson from a reader

There was a time when my private life was written about in the Libido Events mail-outs only and not in a blog. That was quite some time ago now.

I pulled writing my personal activist life details from the mail-outs because the content over time that I was willing to share with my readers had changed and become rather charged. Life treats me well and yes as is obvious I'm also somewhat of an exhibitionist.


One day a woman whom I had never met came to me at the end of one of my classes and asked if she could share something with me. Smiling, waiting till others around were gone she explained her story.

She and her husband, boyfriend whatever label you like. They had been on the Libido Events mailing list for some time since moving here from another province, looking for events of any sort that they could attend as a couple for social & play opportunities.

They found what I did intriguing and were supportive of my efforts. Hence here she was at an event after coming from the mailing list.

What had taken them so long to get to me (attending a Libido Event) after being on the mailing list for some time was what she wanted to share with me.

I of course wanted to hear what she had to say.

The mail-outs as long as they'd received them had contained graphic at times SM related content about my private life that to them was "just not their kink."

It made her hesitant to attend an event because she said, she never heard about any other type kink or twist for me and was worried that I was something that I turned out to not be. She saw this while in the class with me for those two and half hours just ending.

She went on to say that it would make her more comfortable if I would consider changing the content of my mail-outs to not contain so many details of my sex-positive pursuits.

The woman kindly offered me a number of suggestions for what to do, we hugged, I thanked her and off she went.

I went home and peeled through all past mail outs and stayed focused on being in that woman's shoes at home with her husband trying to make a decision about attending a Libido Event based exclusively on what was contained within those mail-outs then.

Perhaps she had a point.

I asked around to some friends and randomly emailed a dozen people from the mailing list and asked them how they felt about the "personal" content in emails.

Some said it made mail-outs to long. Others said it was hot, keep on sending it. But more people than not said separate the two.

Perhaps I could give my mailing list subscribers the option of reading about ME, somewhere else and continuing to receive mail out information about events only from Libido Events.

So I started a Blog. Very proactive of me.

Look to the right, you can even go back and read the very first post or any other over the years.

In all the months and years I've never forced anyone to read my blog or hacked their computer to make my blog appear on their screen without their knowledge or consent.

Any person who reads here, does so because they want to.

The Libido Events mailing list has subscribers only and removal information available to every subscriber at the bottom of every mail-out.

In all the years I have never forced anyone to be on the Libido Events mailing list or kept someone subscribed against their wishes.

Now in MY Libido Events mail-outs there is a URL link to my blog in 80% of the mailers that I send out.

If a subscriber chooses to click onto my blog it is because they want to.

Not forced. Nor pressured.

At times I do include in mail-outs light teaser information regarding something exciting that I may have recently been apart of and again a link.

If someone chooses to click on that link it is because they want to.

I do have a stats program on my websites and I am well aware of how many readers I have.

Not everyone who comes to this blog comes here from a URL link in mail-outs.

Some people bookmark this blog for their own personal reasons.

Not forced. Nor pressured. They make a choice to be here.

My stat program even says that these same people come back over and over and over again. Daily, weekly, monthly, yearly.

Some people read here once and decide it's not a place they want to return. I applaud their exercising their right to choose what they read & see.

Has the Mafia made all the others read here?

No, silly.

Have I forced anyone to read this blog or the Libido Events mailing list?

No, silly.

You my friend you are reading here because you want to.

You made a choice and a lot of you choose to read me.

Welcome to my sex-positive corner of the world!

Being an upbeat, kind, focused, energetic, creative, hard working, non judgmental, non blaming, responsible, accountable, progressive, loving woman is what has landed me in such a wonderful place in life and career.

It pleases me that people read here. Know that I write for myself first.

Thanks for reading.

Good night.

Friday, January 19, 2007

killed with a bug zapper


hit's bee with the zapper


dead bee

sweeps into trash

Now on to serious business...

As you well know I've been working hard and diligently these last couple of months to bring to light of day, my own personal studio / work space / community center / venue.

It's so close I can hardly believe it. The space is beautiful (just finished it's interior upgrades with new everything), conveniently located on a bus route, free ample parking, spacious - multi roomed, private and all my own ours.

A space that will be used for nothing more than workshops, movie screenings, munches, social & support groups, photo shoots, private bookings, a lending library, event space and my personal offices to see clients for coaching.

Rest assured that not only will I be maintaining my teaching schedule with The Love Nest, Little Sisters Book Store, Trinity Romance Shop, Club Eden and all the other regular venues you've grown accustomed to seeing me in around town but soon you'll find a whole new Erotics Arts Curriculum up as well as my classes at the studio.

In a couple of weeks, I'll be adding four new adult stores throughout the Province & further out in the Valley where you'll be able to attend classes with me in the not so distant future.

The new way it's going to work is like this. Classes at my studio will be rated Explicit while classes with me in local adult stores will now be rated Mature Content.

The 3 and 6 month long term plan is already in place with sponsorships and prebooked events to ensure that things progress at a good pace once the doors open.

It's almost time to welcome you all, almost but not yet.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

~~ breaking free ~~

It would appear that for more years than I care to recall I've been addicted to a legal and readily available substance.

It hasn't controlled my life though I have spent more money on this than I care to imagine and than I ever should have spent on something so devastating to the body and mind.

It has seen me through many late nights and allowed me to persevere things that I otherwise would not have survived through.

It's given me an up and an edge and been a good friend to me when I stopped drinking alcohol so many years back now.

I'm talking about caffeine.

Not a coffee drinker, not since my teenage years.

I was a daily Coca Cola consumer / drinker.

Fond of slurpies and cold cans of coke with ice.

That's all changed now.

On December 31 2006 was my last drink of caffeine.

I quit.

I broke free.

The mild shakes I noticed along with the waves of nausesous are over now, thankfully.

Catchy jingles on the radio, bright commercials and flashy advertising to entice me and push me towards a dependance on a product that when I was young and impressionable had no idea would lead to ADDICTION.

Now to find a replacement drink for that sweet jolt of syrup and energy that I had so grown accustomed to.

Ideas? Suggestions?


Wednesday, January 17, 2007

serious & naked in stripes

Not a day for writing, way too much serious business going on. The type of business that happens when one is successful at what one does.

Here is another photo from the shoot I did for Little Sisters. Fun, fun, fun! The photographer and I plan on doing something in future together again.

It feels like such a blessing to have work that pays well with wonderful opportunities attached to it, fun experiences around every corner, new frontiers to be discovered and advancement potential beyond comprehension.

What I do isn't just fun though. It's what I do for a living. It's how I give back to a culture that has blessed me. It's how I move in the world. It's an interpretation of the world around me and who I am as a woman. It's what supports me, my child and my long term vision for community and sex-positive culture. It's my passion. It's my joy. It's my livelihood. My activism is others window of opportunity and a chance for me to be real & true to myself.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007


As promised to those I love and those who care for me, today was about rest. Not clean-up, simply relaxing and recharging.

My life changed dramatically over the weekend. It's going to take me some time to get my feet planted firmly on the ground again.

Changes have happend. Doors were held open. I slammed others. The future is bright.

Monday, January 15, 2007

post trade show

Here is a photo taken of me mounting the "fucking chair shoe" before the show opened on Saturday morning.

The line on their business card reads
continuous effective PENETRATION at your finger-tips.

I'd have a hard time explaining owning ANY high-heeled shoe / sex toy to my daughter, so perhaps this is a piece of furniture for my new space. No kids at home and some extra money to spend? This my friend looks like fun.

My two classes went great, both were in the afternoon, one with just over 300 people in it and the other with about 280 attendees. (handing out handouts in blocks of 100 allows me to keep track of numbers) I did Sex Tips For Men & Women as well as Tie Me To The Bed Posts Please - bedroom bondage basics.

The response back has been overwhelmingly positive, both during the show from everyone who approached me with thanks to the stats on my website, personal emails in my account, new subscribers to the mailing list and offers of new exciting speaking engagements in Manitoba, Toronto and LA.

A local group had been scheduled to present two classes Saturday, but no one even bothered to show up for either class. Sad to see a group allow themselves to look so poorly in such a large scale public setting, though no one including myself was really expecting much more from them.

Personally I managed to attend 4 workshops put on by others and listen in on their styles of teaching & topic. I learned some things both positive and negative.

S-U-C-C-E-S-S is one of my mantras and it pays off.

Taboo was more than a success again for me this year, I came out of it with waaay more than I had even thought possible.

Now it's time to do "clean-up". There is much for me to make my way through post trade show.

Reive, Saturday night in the dungeon felt good though a little more privacy would have been nice. Next week is fabulous, let's plan to talk during the week.

P - that was a smile, perhaps it was hard to see through the crowd. :)