Saturday, March 11, 2006


spent an excessive amount of time soaking in the tub late this afternoon reading a sex manual. How could I not enjoy the bath treat with a Lush bath bomb making the water and me feel pampered. The washroom filled with the scents of sweet orange, cinnamon, cloves and black pepper. Yummy, I'm feeling good enough to be eaten...

Shortly I'll be out the door to Sin City. Already I've chosen my evenings outfit and packed up a small bag of toys. With a good dinner in me in a bit when I arrive in to Sin City I'll be ready for anything anyone.

Lucky me that my Daddy took me shopping for the most beautiful full length, black wool fur lined coat, cause it's so cold out tonight and in my skimpy little outfit I need a coat that will keep my girly bits toasty warm.

Let it be known, I'm in the mood for some action tonight!

better than words

this is a photo of the tattoo that I was trying so hard to describe the other day. Oh yeah, I'm hanging in bondage in Jim's photo studio in Bellingham, hence the tat being upside down!

Friday, March 10, 2006

steeping tea

Hawaiian Island Tea Company - Pineapple Waikiki Tropical Black Tea and Hibiscus Honey Tropical Green Tea.

Hearing the names of the tea alone, makes me want a blanket and a good book.

Midori brought me a box of each delicious tea upon her return from Hawaii. Kara was over a short while ago and I'd made her the Pineapple tea. (can you believe I made the tea and then forgot to serve it) Now that Kara's left I'm sitting here finishing the pot by myself and working on the computer at a candle lit dining room table while dinner cooks in the wok.

My afternoon was spent on the phone and running errands. Volunteer coordinating, event building, booking a new venue and visiting Tracie over at Fetwear to discuss business and talk tickets.

My daughters at her dads this weekend so I've got time to myself to accomplish much and the house is to myself. Tomorrow night is Sin City so to bed early for me tonight.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

body modifications

Today's bridge luncheon at church went well, I even bought a quaint little tea pot for my Daddies morning cup of tea. My daughters Guides unit certainly came away from this social event making a fair bit of money for their camp fund. The 40 women in the league enjoyed playing bridge and the meal that we 5 volunteers served them all.

Tonight at the local pool I was in my bathing suit sitting in the sauna and hot tub all by my lonesome. Soaked my weary body in the over-heated water till I was almost light headed, jumped out for a cold shower and a cool down, then right back in again. This time straight to the jets, to let the forceful spray of water work it's way from the base of the back of my neck, down my spine slowly, over and steady on the tailbone, right then left butt cheek, dead center till they felt numb and finally letting the water push the tension out my toes as I held my feet to the spray.

In the sauna, sitting yoga style, palms up, eyes closed, breathing from my vagina, I found some peace in the smell of cedar and the quiet of the closed heated room. My mind settled and I knew that this was a place that I wanted to return to again.

Walking out of the sauna a man questions me as I walk towards the overhead shower nozzle. "What's your tattoo worth?" he asks me. "How much?" Pausing to reflect back 7 years till when it was done took me a few seconds. Before I could answer him, he'd positioned himself so he could see the tattoo on my upper right shoulder more clearly.

Then looks me in the eyes and says "you know tattoos always look better when they are filled in with color." I perhaps give him an amused look and he says "don't you think?"

Well thanks for asking since it is my body & tattoo you're talking about, I'm thinking to myself. "No, I've never thought of it that way, or had that opinion on another's body modifications or my own", I tell him.

"Hm" is his intelligent reply. "Yours would look better with color in it" he tells me. "What exactly is it anyways?"

If you've not seen my tattoo, it's two hearts handcuffed together with a chain connecting them. A single tail whip is cracking down my back and between the hearts. There is a small letter J in one of the handcuff corners and the other has a C in it. The J is for Jennifer of course, and friends have said over the years that the C stands for Commitment. Those who know me applaud and appreciate my commitment to both my activism and my kink.

So back to his question, "what exactly is it anyways?" He'd annoyed me, interrupted my private thinking space to offer a negative unsolicited comment and was at this point bordering on being rude. I'd had enough of this person and he deserved what happened next.

"You want to know exactly what it is?" He nods, meets my eyes with a smirk and his face goes all weird as he obviously does not understand my answer to his question.

"My tattoo is a property tag",** I tell him. "Property, like someone owns it?", "No" I tell him, "property like someone owns me, ownership." He adjusts his half naked Speedo wearing self and says "Cool, but you should still tell the guy it would look better in color."

The term bitch slap came to mind, and of course I refrained. Really though, my body is nobodies business but my Daddies, my Doctors and my self.

Standing in the women's change room, bottoms removed I caught a glimpse of my soggy self from the waist up. Sticking out the side of my bikini top is the scar from January's breast surgery. The hot water made it look angry and purple, standing out strongly, at least to my eyes. Two days ago I went to see the doctor to have the final stitches taken out. Two stitches, that were supposed to be dissolving ones, just would not leave. The knot on one end and a full stitch, thankfully she removed from my breast the stragglers and now I can put that whole experience behind me.

Lucky for the man at the pool that he wasn't any nosier. On my right hip is a large brand, I don't even want to ponder the stupid type of comment he would have offered if he'd seen that bold body modification on my body. 5 inches tall by 4 inches wide, hard to deny what it is. This is my commitment to who and what I am. Remember the C in the handcuff standing for commitment? Or perhaps he saw the brand and could not find anything to say, hence to fair game on my very personal tattoo which is actually covering a cutting that someone did on me 7 years ago.

**note, my tattoo is not a property tag. I've worn a property tag over the years in two different relationships and at this moment, I'm void of one. I normally would have told someone who'd asked me nicely about the tattoo that it symbolizes a time in my life when I thought that I had to make a choice between a relationship that was not kinky and actually acknowledging my own kinkiness.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

in and to bed

home now from my evening class and settled in with the late news on the tv. I'd planned on writing once in tonight and dumping some of my thoughts here, but it would appear that I'm not up for it.

A man was laying in a cross walk a short while ago with blood coming out his left eye and his left temple was obviously in need of a couple of stitches. He'd fallen in the rain storm and was having trouble getting back up. Head wounds bleed profusely and his was no exception. The trickle of red blood running random mean looking lines down his face actually made my stomach churn for a second.

Stopped my car when I saw him laying there, put on the four way flashers, then got out with a blanket to help. A short while later, two young men stopped in a car to help me and they called 911 for an ambulance. When asked his name, the man could not come up with one for himself. Head traumas suck as do concussions.

Tomorrow I'm back working over at Little Sisters book store in the morning with Jim before heading off to my daughters Girl Guides fundraiser at the local church all afternoon. I'm in charge of the "white elephant" table with items for sale at the women's bridge luncheon over at the local church.

off to bed for this tired little sex activist


life changes

Happy International Womens Day to all you beautiful & powerful women.

I'm off to teach a private class on Erotic Wax & Ice play to a group of people over on the North Shore this evening. When I finally arrive in later, I've got much to get off my chest and plan on writing. Hopefully I'll be able to draw out of myself what's swirling in my head and get the emotions separated from the facts so I can lay it all out.

I've been inspired this past week to change my life in a BIG way and already underway are changes. I did not know I could find the courage and strength to do for myself what I've been putting off for so long but I'm happy with myself for embarking on this new journey.

I'm having a hard time and a struggle already, it's far from easy and I suspect that the first while will be the hardest for me. Want to offer me support for an issue that you won't ever know anything about?

Send me mail, write me about change and transitions and how to do these things with grace even when they challenge is beyond belief. I need to hear about triumph over personal demons and courage to do things for oneself. I'm looking to be built up privately for awhile by anyone with the time to send a note. I need to feel good about myself as what I'm embarking on is difficult for even me; it makes me feel insignificant, scared and lonely.

Off to teach and inspire people to have more joyful kinky sex, more later.