Saturday, April 10, 2010


Whenever one runs a business, one should expect that at some point there will be a disgruntled customer. Libido Lounge is no exception.

We had a man attend orientation late last year and from the moment he walked through our doors, I was confident that he was going to be a person for whom we would be having issues with.

Two days after he completed orientation he showed up for Deviant Dining our pot luck monthly dinner. The event description clearly states to bring an entree item large enough for 4-6 to share. This man brought a partially eaten box of chocolates.

At orientation we discuss with people how to behave at events, what to wear, what to expect and general expectations.

This man showed up for dinner looking as though he had just climbed out of a dumpster. Many people privately commented to me how inappropriate he was dressed.

This same man was also rude to a number of our members at this particular event. The type of rude to which there is no excuse for. I saw it, heard it and also listened to peoples concerns about him after the event was over in private emails.

I wrote the man a letter, telling him that he was not a good match for the Lounge due to numerous rule violations. I also told him I would be giving him back his $40 membership dues.

He wrote me berating me for the decision to take away his membership, stating he was entitled to it. No, no you are not. You are not entitled to anything here. You broke our rules, and upset people in short time at The Lounge. We don't police our events, we talk once in orientation about how things will happen then from there the responsibility is on each member to follow along. Or, out you go.

People who fail to follow the rules, who upset others, and who are unable to comprehend basic etiquette do not belong at Libido Lounge.

We are not a public setting.

We are not a place for you to cause problems.

We are a place for responsible adults who wish to be in a safe environment while exploring themselves.

People who cause alarm or fear, attempt to form cliques, have obvious bias, are prejudice, need to drink or smoke, gossip, can't follow rules and are argumentative have no place at Libido Lounge.

Our oldest member is 80 and are youngest ones have just turned 19 at time of membership. We have slight members, thin members, average sized members, plus sized members and members whose weight fluctuates.

Our members are heterosexual, bi sexual, gay, hetero-flexible, queer, trans, cross dressers, polyamorists, BDSM'ers, swingers, exhibitionists and voyeurs.

Our members are new to exploring through very advanced and all shades in between. Our members are every ethnicity and all socioeconomic brackets.

Members at The Lounge are educated both in life and in schools. Our members are single, married, coupled, men and women.

Our members are gracious, kind, open minded and tolerant.

Failure to follow along with our vision for our membership, is grounds for you to not be a Libido Lounge member.

Friday, April 09, 2010

Ethical Non Monogamy Rules

After receiving a nice request from a lovely couple recently to share with them my rules for practicing ethical non monogamy I decided to re post here what I had written.

Before reading our rules for what makes our relationship work, know that we have created these rules to compliment us as a couple and to keep us safe based on knowing ourselves well and plenty of deep honest discussions. The rules are agreed upon by each of us, together we have come up with the frame work needed to allow us the freedom to explore others sexually.

Our rules are subject to change and have shifted over the years. Currently they are .....

  1. No surprises. No telling the other something after the fact. Everything is straight up from the get go. (the only surprises we like are gifts)
  2. No bringing anyone home for play. This is our nest, it belongs to our family and not outside relationships.
  3. No discussing details about our children.
  4. Practice safer sex at all times, no exceptions.
  5. Time with others happens only when our relationship has had it's needs met first.
  6. No missing important home events for a date.
  7. We do not need to meet the person our partner is dating / having sex if we don't want to.
  8. Emotional availability to outside play partners is slim at best.
  9. Having sex with someone is different than being polyamorous with them.
  10. No involvement with drama queens / kings.
  11. No dating someone who likes to talk about their conquests publicly.
  12. If we ask to know something about one anothers dates, the information will be made available without debate.
  13. Details on what one does with others is not necessarily always wanted - ask before you share.
  14. Before telling someone (whom your dating) that you love them, you must first come home and tell your partner. (see rule #1, no surprises)

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Watching Others Fuck

I like to watch other people have sex. It's true, I'm a voyeur.

It's not like I enjoy it all the time. There are times when watching others have sex is my job, it's me wandering through a party ensuring safety and briefly scanning the room over. Keeping my eyes from inadvertently meeting those who are playing, yet stealing stolen glances of peoples most erotic moments.

You might wonder when it's enjoyable for me. It's hot to watch people fuck when I'm not working. When my own arousal is at the forefront and when I am sharing the visual with a partner or a FWB. (friend with benefits)

I have seen my partners over the years have sex with others and thought nothing of it. I've witnessed them being hot and heavy with a person they had just met and I have not been moved by it at all. Well other than to be delighted for them to have found someone to be playful with in that moment.

I don't find it hot to see my partners being intimate with others. Not to date anyways.

However it is sexy as hell to watch two people I do not know, or whom I am not in a relationship with get it on with one another.

The raw moments of lust. The abandon to have sex with others around. The noised grunted, squeaked, screamed and moaned into the room. The smell of their union lingering heavy in the air. Counting their orgasms with them. Applauding their efforts.

Watching people screw when they know I am present is also highly charged for me. It fuels a deep sexual hunger in me to know that the couple banging are aware of my presence and my intent interest in viewing them. It's like being a third without having to put out.

Being a voyeur means I am privy to new ways to interact sexually with my parnter[s] that I may have not thought of previously. Voyeurism is safer sex at it's best. Being a voyeur permits me the luxury of arousal without the sweat. Watching let's me play my own fantasies in my head while my hand is down my pants frantically rubbing my hard clit without regard to when someone else is going to be getting off.

Ironically I find myself generally unmoved by pornography in a digital format. Watching fake performances that are happening for money leave me rather unimpressed. I don't necessarily need a story line either, but I would at least like to be led to believe that the actors portrayed are actually, really enjoying themselves and not just pretending or orgasm and preference for one another for a pay check. Don't get me wrong, porn has it's place for those interested in buying into it, but hey, its not with me.

I do however enjoy looking at sexy photos of couples and women -- and not so much for lone men. It's the interaction between couples that catches my breath and it's the babes with curves that make my clit twitch as I flip from one erotic image to the next.

Call me old fashioned but my preference for watching others fuck will always be the live show rather than the shiny DVD in a case.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Regina Sex Classes

Later this month I fly off to teach in Regina for the weekend. This will be my first time away for an extended period of time since the Pickle was born.

A change of routine is somewhat exciting for me. I'm eager to get away, yet already I know I will be worried about the wee man getting off track from his schedule without my being around. Adult time for 26 hours though thrills me to no end.

Jason and teenager will be home, so Pickle will be around his family who of course know his routine and behaviors. Hopefully all will be smooth.

Me, I'll be in the prairies, teaching ten classes to a community of people who've yet to be introduced to my teaching style. And also doing two stage presentations as well. I am eager to wow and to impart upon them valuable information to transform their intimate lives.

I'm staying by night with a lovely couple from the local kink community and by day hanging out at The Taboo Show between all my scheduled events.

My itinerary at Taboo Regina is available here.

Want to meet up with me for a cold drink while I'm in your fare city? Drop me a private email and let's coordinate to make this happen.

Meeting new friends wherever I travel to is always a priority. We'll need to meet at the show as I won't have any time available off site except for sleeping and recovery. Trade show days are very long.

I could be persuaded to stay an extra day longer to teach a private class. Let me know ASAP if you're interested in pursuing this with me as I am soon to be booking my flight.

See you in Regina.


Monday, April 05, 2010

Proud Mama

Pickle is just over four months right now, by one week.

He can roll over from front to back and back to front.

He's eating banana, prunes and rice cereal.

The little man loves people, is incredibly social and smiling all the time too.

And without fail he sleeps 12 - 13 hours straight every single night in his own crib.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

An Ordinary Day

Yesterday was a fairly ordinary Saturday for me, here are a few highlights worth mentioning

  • I taught 11 women how to give scrumptious blow jobs and expert hand jobs
  • I had my photo taken as I spanked a long time woman friend
  • Jason and I had sex at a party on a gynecological table
  • I massaged two nude women's breasts, using my own oiled breasts
  • I kissed a woman who had never been kissed by a woman
  • Two different women asked me for sex
  • I watched a group of 7 people rimming, doing oral and tit fucking
  • We received two lovely baby gifts from different friends
  • The teenager looked after Pickle while we went to work last night
  • Introduced 2 of my friends to one another, they hit it off and got it on
  • I blew Jason
  • Jason went down on me
  • My man tied up a woman at the party
  • Jason hit a lesbian repetitively with his penis (it was really funny)
  • I was on a bed with 5 good friends, only 3 of which I've ever been intimate with.
  • A film company asked to borrow some of my high end sex toys for an upcoming shoot