BEWARE
This is part rant, and part questioning. You've been warned.
Input from other people is often what it takes for me to understand concepts foreign to me.
I subscribe to a number of different message boards and forums for sex and alternative lifestyles to assist me in my growth of understanding. New ideas are constantly tossed around and for the most part, I can wrap my mind around them with relative ease.
But lately, there is something that I seem unable to comprehend, despite investing much time and patience to learn more about it.
It's about majorities and minorities in life, and more specifically in sex culture.
I see this often and it baffles me to no end. And yes, I do understand the whole privilege thing.
What's happening is one of the minority groups in our community, the *queer population is demanding their own events. Exclusive space and parties just for them. And it's been proposed that they can exclude anyone they don't know, or who does not fit into their definition of what queer is.
Now the majority is upset. This would include the
(perceived) heterosexuals, cissexuals, bi sexuals, outlaws, intersexed, androgynous, trans and all those who prefer to not be labeled. And, those who fear not being accepted by this exclusive feeling queer group.
How is it that a group
(that is a minority one none-the-less) feels ok with the notion that they can not only exclude others but also call that non discriminatory?
When specifically if the heterosexuals decided to hold a party only for those who have sex with the opposite sex, that the minority would not be "up in arms" about the disparity in this.
Pansexual
(open to anyone regardless of gender, orientation or play style) parties are meant for all.
How can one group be so damning and put so many people in a box surrounding identity and sexuality as to exclude them based on how they present themselves or how they label themselves?
We need to find ways to foster inclusion for all. Yet if the queer community wants to segregate themselves from everyone else and declare themselves so radically different that they require playing and socializing away from all who are different, how can this be achieved?
How can this group of queers, cross pollinate to gain understanding, new friends, allies and support if they don't get their kink on with the rest of us?The queers are saying that they don't want to be watched or judged by anyone who does not share their label whilst playing. For the most part, the majority are not judging ... I've been watching them for years. In fact, I see more judgment on play styles and identity from the queers to everyone else.
There seems to be this notion that queers perceive themselves as so radically different that they must be given their own space.
Each grouping of people is unique and truly faces its own challenges. And for as long as we continue to find reason to not see our similarities as sexual outlaws, we will forever face judgment from both the outside vanilla world and from our fellow kinksters.
We should be working towards a common goal of acceptance, tolerance and respect. As it stands right now, all I am witnessing is a lot of slurs, some bashing, untruths, fear and negative outlooks. Not very promising at all.
Why can't the queers party and socialize with everyone else? Why is it ok for the queers to act bigoted towards anyone not the same as them and not be called on it by others? Because they are the minority, they get a "get out of jail card" for their behaviors, however misinformed. Not.
Further what gets my goat,
(no I don't own a goat) is that it is most often than not this very group of people that wants their own events, that also expresses their inability to pay for it. Like really, who pray tell is going to foot the bill? Are people really so clueless as to what it costs financially to host a party, let alone to lease a space where such things could take place? To pay for all the items necessary to have a party run safely, well equipped, with heat, lights, drinks, food, equipment, music .... the list goes on and on.
Groups that are successful from my standpoint are ones where they stand on their own two feet. They do not demand that others around them do things to keep there ideas afloat, they don't whine about something not existing, they set about creating it.
Then someone comes along and offers the physical space for this group of people to create a group and its moaned aloud, that it has to be basically free or low, very low cost. And that even if the event were created, then likely it would not even be enjoyed because of to many unknown dynamics.
Talk about being pissy. Wanting something, whining aloud about it, yet doing nothing to support its emergence
even when given the space and encouragement to do so. This is so contrary to being proactive that it is simply baffling.
It feels selfish, and at it's very heart, also discriminatory.
What do you think?
*the queer population I refer to is not "all queers", rather a group of louder spoken ones whom are in my sphere.
