Saturday, February 19, 2011

I got me eye on you

Dear Amy,

Our relationship thus far has been largely undefined and this has served us well. I'm really interested in watching how we develop and unfold naturally. You are proving more and more important to me.

I don't do things traditionally and I am slow to warm up, but once I get going, I'm on fire.

Thank you for the gift of you.


Friday, February 18, 2011

Moving Forward

Developing altruism is one of the most powerful methods for countering negative tendencies and destructive impulses.

- Dalai Lama

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Follow along now ...

This a short story about a man. Let's call him Ralph.

Ralph recently constructed an email and sent it off to me asking to become a member of the Lounge.

I sent Ralph back the exact same informational email that I send to the thousands of other people who write me each year. Contained within that email is information on booking an orientation, links to read first and a mailing list to sign up for.

Ralph then wrote me back, FOUR TIMES.

His first email to me did not contain the necessary and asked for information. His subsequent emails hitting my in-box, one after another, each one almost identical, but-not-quite.

Then this morning I wrote him back exasperated, stating that four consecutive emails is too many for a one woman operation to be answering and that I would appreciate not being inundated with future unnecessary mail. One email should be able to handle our exchange. Well, one email should be able to handle our exchange if he had read what I sent him in the first place.

Then he had the audacity to write me back and tell me if I had given him the information he wanted to begin with, that he wouldn't be bothering me with so many emails. Not true. Had he have read the email I sent him and the links provided, he would have sent me one email with the correct information.

There is a system in place for how we handle new member requests, for handling orientation and for dealing with people who prove challenging.

Step by step. Follow along. If you can't follow me through an email exchange to get you to orientation, then we are not likely to get along. I won't have members at the Lounge that I don't get along with or that don't respect me.


Ralph wrote me back again this afternoon, stating that he had seen a photo of me and that I am unattractive. Due to this, he won't be joining and becoming a member.

I feel so much better now, knowing why Ralph, a man I have never met, will never bother me again.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


It was supposed to be a lumpectomy and it turned into a mastectomy.

Allena's surgery was yesterday and she was doing well last night at bedtime when I last spoke to her, the drugs had her in no pain and she was coherent too.

The joy in her voice, over getting new breasts due to all of this, was contagious. Get through treatment next and then new perky tits for Bella.

Every cloud has a silver lining right?

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Single Male at a Party

A single man became a member this past Saturday at orientation, then stayed on for Cupids Catch our evening play party. I watch the single men differently than others and often ask them for feedback on events as their singular experience is regularly insightful on some level I had not even considered and I find I learn much from them.

K, the guy, is a wonderful conversationalist, and I found myself enjoying speaking to him. In all honesty. I am eager to see some of his art too. Anyways, at nights end, I had asked him to write me an overview of his first experience at a party and at the Lounge. This is what he sent me ....

When I arrived at the Lounge for member orientation, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I'd heard a lot about it from another member, but being new to the scene it wasn't much comfort. As I walked up to the door, I was nervous - until Jennifer popped her head up from her car, which she had been loading.

"You must be K," she said. "Come on in."

What followed was a night of fun and sexy action. I licked whipped cream off of a beautiful woman, got tied up and suspended for the first time in my life, made a lot of friends and had a wonderful evening. Everyone was decked out in hot gear, from one woman who wore only feather pasties, to Jen's partner J, who wore a mesh shirt and a utilikilt. Everyone looked stunning. Although I didn't play much myself, it was hot just to see all the scenes unfolding around me as the night went on. I lost track of the people I'd met as some went into the sex area with their partners and others, spent with happy grins on their faces, dressed and went out the door into the night. As the night wound to a close, I said goodbye to all the awesome people I'd met and resolved to mark the next Lounge event on my calendar.

The Lounge is a great place, filled with great people. The atmosphere is warm and welcoming, and if you have body image issues - like I do - don't worry, because nobody will denigrate you here. As a newbie to BDSM, it took me most of the evening to figure out the dynamics at play, which is why I didn't play much myself; in the end, though, it's not really the play that mattered, but all the new friends I'd made. I suspect that even though I didn't have sex or do any tying or flogging, there's plenty of all of them in my future.

Thank you, Jennifer, for introducing me to an awesome place and an awesome group of people.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Can this really be happening?

This post is likely going to bounce all over the map, as my head is full of half thoughts twirling round and round.

Saturday was the Lounges Valentines Day party --- and by all accounts the night was epic. Out of town guests, a day of bondage classes and great people made the party as awesome as it was. But the day was long, we arrived to the Lounge at 9 in the morning and left at 1:30 the next morning.

There are more than just clients and attendees that attend our events, many of those present are our friends. And this is exactly why days like today can happen, because its easier to hustle for those you care for.

What was so over the top for us was having to pick up Pickle from the babysitters at 2 in the morning, by the time we drove home and got to bed ourselves it was three o'clock.

Sunday we were up early, as we had a day trip to Tulalip, Washington. Our destination, reserve land, and the home of a wise man. Allena had chosen her tribe and called upon us to join her in a special Sweat to offer healing before her surgery. It was memorable and in all honesty, I learned many things that I am not quite yet ready to articulate. Maybe one day, I'll write about what it looked like to be present for such an event, but not now.

I would do anything for Allena, go anywhere for her, topple over anyone in her way, move mountains and cross borders to get to her, reach out and drag her towards me if she needed me, and even give her parts of myself --- we are fam-ily. We drove home along the I5 talking about living and our families plans for life. At 11 last night we pulled into our driveway, absolutely positively spent.

By the time we visited with the teenager who was baking cookies, and the car had been unloaded, all we could do was to crawl into bed. Jason pulled me in tight, his breath almost becoming my own as I inhaled his scent and basked in the glow of his loving support. We are both done in.

Today I recover from the weekend and gather my emotions to support Allena Tuesday as that's her surgery day. Oddly enough the last couple of days, everywhere I look there are signs of what we are journeying through. The breast cancer emblem is everywhere, commercials filled with optimism and joy are on television and I have to say, that there are countless stories of hope. And in that I find strength.