Sexual Acts for Shoes

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Follow along now ...

This a short story about a man. Let's call him Ralph.

Ralph recently constructed an email and sent it off to me asking to become a member of the Lounge.

I sent Ralph back the exact same informational email that I send to the thousands of other people who write me each year. Contained within that email is information on booking an orientation, links to read first and a mailing list to sign up for.

Ralph then wrote me back, FOUR TIMES.

His first email to me did not contain the necessary and asked for information. His subsequent emails hitting my in-box, one after another, each one almost identical, but-not-quite.

Then this morning I wrote him back exasperated, stating that four consecutive emails is too many for a one woman operation to be answering and that I would appreciate not being inundated with future unnecessary mail. One email should be able to handle our exchange. Well, one email should be able to handle our exchange if he had read what I sent him in the first place.

Then he had the audacity to write me back and tell me if I had given him the information he wanted to begin with, that he wouldn't be bothering me with so many emails. Not true. Had he have read the email I sent him and the links provided, he would have sent me one email with the correct information.

There is a system in place for how we handle new member requests, for handling orientation and for dealing with people who prove challenging.

Step by step. Follow along. If you can't follow me through an email exchange to get you to orientation, then we are not likely to get along. I won't have members at the Lounge that I don't get along with or that don't respect me.


UPDATE:

Ralph wrote me back again this afternoon, stating that he had seen a photo of me and that I am unattractive. Due to this, he won't be joining and becoming a member.

I feel so much better now, knowing why Ralph, a man I have never met, will never bother me again.

Single Male at a Party

A single man became a member this past Saturday at orientation, then stayed on for Cupids Catch our evening play party. I watch the single men differently than others and often ask them for feedback on events as their singular experience is regularly insightful on some level I had not even considered and I find I learn much from them.

K, the guy, is a wonderful conversationalist, and I found myself enjoying speaking to him. In all honesty. I am eager to see some of his art too. Anyways, at nights end, I had asked him to write me an overview of his first experience at a party and at the Lounge. This is what he sent me ....

When I arrived at the Lounge for member orientation, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I'd heard a lot about it from another member, but being new to the scene it wasn't much comfort. As I walked up to the door, I was nervous - until Jennifer popped her head up from her car, which she had been loading.

"You must be K," she said. "Come on in."

What followed was a night of fun and sexy action. I licked whipped cream off of a beautiful woman, got tied up and suspended for the first time in my life, made a lot of friends and had a wonderful evening. Everyone was decked out in hot gear, from one woman who wore only feather pasties, to Jen's partner J, who wore a mesh shirt and a utilikilt. Everyone looked stunning. Although I didn't play much myself, it was hot just to see all the scenes unfolding around me as the night went on. I lost track of the people I'd met as some went into the sex area with their partners and others, spent with happy grins on their faces, dressed and went out the door into the night. As the night wound to a close, I said goodbye to all the awesome people I'd met and resolved to mark the next Lounge event on my calendar.

The Lounge is a great place, filled with great people. The atmosphere is warm and welcoming, and if you have body image issues - like I do - don't worry, because nobody will denigrate you here. As a newbie to BDSM, it took me most of the evening to figure out the dynamics at play, which is why I didn't play much myself; in the end, though, it's not really the play that mattered, but all the new friends I'd made. I suspect that even though I didn't have sex or do any tying or flogging, there's plenty of all of them in my future.

Thank you, Jennifer, for introducing me to an awesome place and an awesome group of people.

More On The Matter

If you've not already read my posts as of late regarding special treatment for single men, then this next bit, might seem out of context.

Regarding this post and then the subsequent post that I have now made about Special Snowflakes a woman wrote me with this thought on the matter, here is her email in it's entirety.

Jennifer,

If you want a different perspective on this subject. I causes me concern that some do not appear to understand boundaries or the word no. If they don't understand this prior to being a member, then receiving preferred treatment and being a member still not understand "no" would cause me great concern.

The orientation is there for the benefit of the member taking it and for the safety of others. Everyone has heard the same thing and are all aware of the boundaries and expectations. Someone who doesn't understand boundaries for safety in a sexual environment is scary and would cause me great concern.

You are doing the right thing and I feel safer knowing that you don't allow people to bypass the system.

Lisa

Special Treatment 2

On Monday January 17, I made a post about a man writing me, wishing "special treatment". In other words, this man had written me because he was seeking to become a Lounge member, without having to do the mandatory orientation class that everyone has to take.

Then low and behold, , I get yet another email. From another man. This time, this chap writes and says "thank you for writing about me on your blog, I am the man wanting special treatment that you were referencing".

I write this clueless chap back and let him know, that in fact, I was not writing about him. I even checked the mans email address and who I had been writing about, was not this guy. So I let him know this.

Then the man writes me back again (like I have nothing better to do, than to read countless emails from him) and says

"Well, on your post titled "special treatment" you said that a someone wanted to enter the lounge without having to go through orientation, and at the time, I was trying to do that by emailing you back and fourth about that.

I might be mistaken. Perhaps there is another guy."


BINGO.

Dude. You are not a special snowflake and certainly not the only man to write me asking me to make some special considerations, just-for-you.

This happens all the time. And only from men. You are not the first, nor will you be the last.

So follow along. Read my words and get a clue.

Everyone in my world is special. Because everyone enters the exact same way. Through, member orientation.

And you trying to back door the orientation process, makes me not want to know you. Show some respect not just for me but for everyone else who surrounds me who did the footwork to be where they are with the Lounge.

From My In-Box

As you have likely figured out, my email account is one that most people would not want to get near. And for good reason too. People write me about all sorts of personal issues, disclose things they should keep private and ask questions of a very intimate nature.

Most people are clever though and can figure out how to write a request without coming across as egotistical or creepy.

I say "most people" because there is always the exceptions to this rule.

Yesterday a man sent me an email, this is it, in its entirety

Hi, So i am a relatively attractive 28 year old who has become bored with many things in my life. Ever since i started having sex I have been told that I have a gift, some have even said perfect, penis. There are many things in the sexual realm that i stilll haven\'t been a part of and now i feel i am ready to do something more \"adventureous\", i guess would be the word. I don\'t know if this is the place for me, and if not i would appreciate if you could point me in a better direction, but some sort of amateur thing might be what i am looking for. In any event I am interested in your site and what you do and i look forward to further communication....

Now I think I am supposed to in awe of his gift. Because as you can imagine, I've *never* met any other man in life or in email claiming to have a PERFECT PENIS. Wow. Jeez. Really?

I can only presume that this man assumes (incorrectly) that his "supposed" perfect penis, will get him something special at The Lounge.

Yet if he had spent the time to read the Libido Events and Libido Lounge website he would have known that penis attributes are irrelevant to membership and to me personally.

Further if he had read the website he would clearly understand that we are not a porn site, so looking for something "amateurish" with us is also a mistake.

Then he asks me to point him in the right direction. To where? For what? I know nothing about this man.

I digress, I know a little about him. Lets see .... he's a 28 year old man, who has led a boring life and who can use email but not read a website. He has a perfect penis and a gift. He is not ego filled, no not-at-all. And he has found my website and email address, oh lucky me and thinks I will be the one to save him from his sexual boredom.


I guess I can count myself fortunate that there was no attached photo of his appendage to his odd email.

Some days I am torn between deleting such emails and putting my head through a wall.

Welcome to my professional life.

Animal Play

You have to understand, my in box sees a lot of email and some of it is is obviously unusual given that people write me about most things sexual.

From time to time, I am met with a letter that strikes me as odd. Not usually by its subject matter, rather in the why it was sent to me. I have heard, seen and done a lot, so it takes something out of the ordinary to really make me take notice. I have many answers, and opinions but some things are just out of my league or area of specialty while others just remain a mystery.

Let me present Exhibit A from today's emails addressed to me:

dear jennifer

i am a slave girl into BDSM with my master for almost 1.5 yrs. my master wants me to play the real life role of a human cow girl without having a baby but yet producing milk. I have got no detailed idea about what a cow slave actually need to be. can you plz help me and let me know your experiences or something from which i can learn. how long are the suction cups to be used. i have 34B cups. are they enough to be a cow girl? or suction cups can increase them? plz let me know some basic and informative details so that i can start...

sasha

I'll be honest, not only am I confused after reading this, but I am also not going to bother responding as it is just really fucking odd. I presume that since I am pregnant and lactating that this person thinks I can "help her out". NOT!


*Sighs*

Some days my job is just bloody weird and I regret having to open my mail program at all.

Beavers in BC & Rhino's in Africa

Thank you Jacqueline for putting this lovely beaver shot into my In-Box, both Jason and I found it to be very cute.

And to my good friend C. for sending me this funny, poignant and somewhat sad story about the plight of African Black Rhinoceroses.

Wilbur Smith talking about the past. - A factual account

The plight of the Black Rhinoceros is, or course, due mostly to the value of its horn and the ferocious poaching that this engenders. However, a contributory factor to the declining rhino population is the animals disorganized mating habits.

It seems that the female rhino only becomes receptive to the male's attentions every three years or so, while the male only becomes interested in her at the same intervals. A condition known quite appropriately as "Must" The problem is one of synchronization, for their amorous
inclinations do not always coincide.

In the early Sixties, I was invited, along with a host of journalists and other luminaries, to be present at an attempt by the Rhodesian Game and Tsetse Department to solve this problem of poor timing.

The idea was to capture a male rhino and induce him to deliver up that which
could be stored until that day in the distant future when his mate's fancy
turned lightly to thoughts of love.

We departed from the Zambezi Valley in an impressive convoy of trucks and Landrovers, counting in our midst none other than the Director of the game department in person, together with his minions, a veterinary surgeon, an electrician and sundry other technicians, all deemed necessary to make the harvest.

The local game scouts had been sent out to scout the bush for the largest, most virile rhino they could find. They had done their job to perfection and led us to a beast at least the size of a small granite koppie with a horn on his nose considerably longer than my arm.

The trick was to get this monster into a robust mobile pen which had been constructed to accommodate him.

With the Director of the Game Department shouting frantic orders from the safety of the largest truck, the pursuit was on. The tumult and the shouting were apocalyptic. Clouds of dust flew in all directions, trees, and vegetation were destroyed, game scouts scattered like chaff, but finally
the Rhino had about a litre of narcotics shot into his rump and his mood became dreamy and benign.

With forty black game guards heaving and shoving, and the Director still shouting orders from the truck, the rhino was wedged into his cage, and stood there with a happy grin on his face.

At this stage, the Director deemed it safe to emerge from the cab of his truck and he came amongst us resplendent in starched and immaculately ironed bush jacket with a colourful silk scarf at this throat. With an imperial gesture, he ordered the portable electric generator to be brought forward and positioned behind the captured animal. This was a machine which was
capable of lighting up a small city, and it was equipped with two wheels that made it resemble a roman chariot.

The Director climbed up on the generator to better address us. We gathered around attentively while he explained what was to happen next.

It seemed that the only way to get what we had come for was to introduce an electrode into the rhino's rear end, and to deliver a mild electric shock, no more than a few volts, which would be enough to pull his trigger for him.

The Director gave another order and the veterinary surgeon greased something that looked like an acoustic torpedo and which was attached to the generator with sturdy insulated wires. He then went up behind the somnolent beast and thrust it up him to a full arms length, at which the Rhino opened his eyes very wide indeed.

The veterinary and his two black assistants now moved into position with a large bucket and assumed expectant expressions. We, the audience, crowded closer so as not to miss a single detail of the drama. The Director still mounted on the generator trailer, nodded to the electrician who threw the switch and chaos reigned. In the subsequent departmental enquiry the blame
was placed squarely on the shoulders of the electrician. It seems that in the heat of the moment his wits had deserted him and instead of connecting up his apparatus to deliver a gentle 5 volts, he had crossed his wires and the Rhino received a full 500 volts up his rear end.

His reaction was spectacular. Four tons of rhinoceros shot six feet straight up in the air. The cage, made of great timber baulks, exploded into its separate pieces and the rhinoceros now very much awake, took off at a gallop.

We, the audience, were no less sprightly. We took to the trees with alacrity. This was the only occasion on which I have ever been passed by two journalists half way up a Mopane tree.

From the top branches we beheld an amazing sight, for the chariot was still connected to the Rhinoceros per rectum, and the director of the game department was still mounted upon it, very much like Ben Hur, the charioteer.

As they disappeared from view, the rhinoceros was snorting and blowing like a steam locomotive and the Director was clinging to the front rail of his chariot and howling like the north wind which only encouraged the beast to greater speed.

The story has a happy ending for the following day after the director had returned hurriedly to his office in Salisbury , another male Rhinoceros was captured and caged and this time the electrician got his wiring right.

I can still see the Rhinoceros's expression of surprised gratification as the switch was thrown. You could almost hear him think to himself. "Oh Boy! I didn't think this was going to happen to me for at least another three years".

more from my In-Box

I'm sharing yet more praise from SULTRY this past Saturday. Remembering of course, that each e-mail I receive is actually from TWO people as the event is a couples only one. Which means that the kudos for the event and its happenings is massive and across the board.

You'll be able to understand by the end of the post, why I feel so proud right now!



Read this that I cut and pasted from our Face Book Group ...

This past Saturday may have been the best SULTRY yet, and that’s saying something! It’s always a bit of a thrill to walk past the friendly and polite (but slightly bemused) bathhouse staff, step through the nondescript door, head down the steps and enter another world. Any fear that you are attending the secret meeting of some strange cult is immediately dispelled by Jennifer’s enthusiastic greeting, sporting a smile as big as her strap-on.

While changing in the locker room, we could see a lot of newcomers among the regulars. However, after a few get acquainted games involving whipped cream and suds in the shower room, everyone seemed to be getting comfortable with one another, even before the water guns came out. The truce that followed seemed to involve a lot of very personal contact. Everywhere we looked there were folks playing in twos and threes, fours and mores.



If all that eye candy wasn’t stimulating enough the all-girl circle jerk proved truly inspiring, even for those of us not participating (right, RC?). If you preferred to listen moans, shrieks, sighs and happy cries could be heard throughout the night and sometimes throughout the building.
Steam and suds, passion and play, SULTRY may well be our favourite event. We are certainly looking forward to its return in the Fall. To all the friends, new and old, who made the evening so special, our sincere thanks. We look forward to seeing (smelling, touching…) you again soon.

And then check this out from someone else ...

Sultry was such a good time :) While I enjoy pretty much every Libido event I attend, Sultry now holds a special place in my heart because it's the one event (so far) I have been able to get my partner to come with me to. I've been trying to tell anyone who will listen that they're a blast, I hope to make a few converts by the time fall rolls around...

I missed out on the shower group scene and the all girl circle jerk - for good reason, I assure you. But wow, lots of smiles in that steam room...

More praise, here it comes ...

The entire experience was delectable ... playing with all those wet soapy bodies in the shower, kissing in the hot steamy sauna, having my hands and feet massaged by four yummy playmates, having a full body massage from a new friend, watching sexy videos while taking a rest in the quiet room ... WOW!

Congratulations Jennifer for creating such a wonderful play space. I'll be back.

Then this came to my personal account ...

Hi Jennifer

We just felt we had to let you know just how much fun we had at the Sultry night June 7th. We will be talking about it for a long time to come, also letting all our friends know just what a good time it was.

The whole group seemed to be enjoying the fun games as much as we were. This event is certainly suited to all kinds of people especially those that have never been to anything like this before, with its no-pressure atmosphere just some good o'l raunchy fun.

Thank you so much for putting on such a fantastic event, we surely hope you will be able to put on these events again later on. In the mean time we look forward to seeing you at some of your other events.

We also would like to say its because you are such a fantastic host Jennifer, that's what makes it all work.

Thanks, Thanks, Thanks, again.

Elaine & Dan

This is how one goes about creating a more sex positive culture. Intentionally.

from my In-Box

Hi Jennifer.

Larry and I had so much fun last night. (at SULTRY) We really didn’t know what to expect even though we read the blogs about it. We were surprised that everyone was naked when we arrived and that actually helped me get over my shyness about my body.

Larry is a nudist at heart, but until February this year in Cuba I had never been naked in front of anyone except my husband, doctor or nurse. Even then in Cuba I stripped quickly and laid on my tummy on the towel, or ran into the water.

The shower scene was so erotic, I can’t help but get turned on when I think about it. I discovered that I really liked to be touched. You told everyone to have their hands behind their backs to lick off the whipping cream, but I discovered through that, that I really like to be touched. It’s amazing I never really thought about that before until that sensation was taken away. Even the hot wax, ice, knife, skewer, comb and scrubber sensations were great. My favorite of those are ice, knife, comb and scrubber.

We met some very nice people and we are looking forward to seeing them again. We definitely will be at the next one.

Thanks again for our initiation into the scene. We will never forget it.

Lynn

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Thanks for an excellent party Ms. Jennifer - you looked very hot running around with your soapy cock (and when getting oil rubbed on the table) :) You have no idea how thrilled I am at getting Bryan out to these events. Thank you a million times over!

Hugs!
Lorine

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Jennifer,

The first time I met you in person was at a class in March 2006. Ryan and I had been to the Taboo show and somehow we missed you as a speaker. Poking through the website for the show I found a link to Libido Events.

I screwed up my courage and went to the class in downtown Vancouver on a rainy Sunday afternoon. (by myself, Bryan couldn't make it). I was early and my heart was going pit a pat, wondering what the class would be like. I think I told my family that I was going to an educational seminar (Ryan and I weren't living together at the time).

I was very cold, sitting on my chair, waiting for other people to arrive. Jennifer, you were sitting on one of the demo tables with bare legs and I couldn't believe that you weren't cold. You were talking to the others as they came in. It was hard not to listen in on the conversations. I couldn't believe that people had sex at parties, let alone with other people around. I think you brought over a blanket so I could keep warm.

Of course I enjoyed the class and knew that there was so much more to explore sexually. As they say, the rest is history. Of course I told Ryan all about you. We finally made it out to a play party that summer, which is when Bryan first met you. I think you more than exceeded expectations.

hugs,

Anastasia

Sad, but true & funny

It is no surprise that I get emails that read a-little-odd from time to time given that my profession is sex work. This letter takes the cake. It fact, he should get a very special hat for coming up with this piece of work.

Hi Jennifer,

I'm interested in throwing a party at my place 2 bedrooms but I was hoping you could help me with some suggestions and guests (5 couples)? Would love it if you could help :) Let me know if you have the time to plan and hopefully set up a party!

btw. I will be a single male as this is going to be a secret....sshhh :_

Thanks in advance, Andie

Andie

Your email is rather strange. It reads as though you are ordering "take-out". Including guests. I have never received such a request before.

If you want to attend an adult event, then do so. There is nothing stopping you, so long as you are 19 years of age.

But whatever it is you are trying to create through contacting me, just know that you can't buy it. And if you really want such a scenario to ever take place, you are going to need to come out of your shell to meet the couples themselves. Because that is how you get people back to your place for a party, you hand pick your own guests.

Don't think that I would bring my friends, supporters and allies to the private home of someone no one knows.

I am not even going to start on the rant, that it sounds as though you want my services-for-free. So, not going to happen. I don't just throw parties, I am creating culture and am a professional.

By the way, "Would you like fries with your order?"

Subscribe to our mailing list so that you can find a suitable event, where you can meet other like minded people, and hopefully form some friendships on your own.

think before you write

An e-mail found in the depths of my In-Box. It annoyed me.


i am a sub. male and a vergin at 64 i have since i was young seen women as being more powerful than men my grandmother was afraid of men and i was to so i ran to women for protection so i need your help seeing women as stronger i am not happy being a guy but i am not gay i worship boots and know they should be licked clean please get back to me

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Dear vergin,

Your email really bothers me.

You have asked nothing of me, then asked that *I* respond to you.

About what?

I almost hit delete, then thought a small response might be better.

You've given me no name to address you by and used no punctuation in your entire letter to me. Or lets just call it what it is, a run-on sentence.

Your e-mail is a waste of my time as my in-box is constantly filled with respectful people asking intelligent questions of me.

Think about what it is you want from me, before you contact me next. Then ensure you articulate it to me, in easy to read English.

Thank you, have a nice day.

Jennifer