Saturday, March 14, 2009

Steaks & Blow Jobs

Women apparently are the ones who most regularly enjoy and get something out of Valentine's Day.

Men have a new day just for themselves, it is March 14, today. (exactly one month after Valentine's Day)

It is Steak and a Blow Job Day.

You can read more about it here

And also a little more here in case you're a skeptic.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Dungeon Events Vancouver

Have you reserved your spot yet???
Get on it, do it now.

SATURDAY MARCH 14th 9:00 - 1:00 AM

Cost: $30 Member / $35 Non Member Guest
Reserve now:
include your member #

One of the Lounge's newest events, Dungeon Players is a Naughty party with darker tenor. Of course everything you expect and are used to will be there -- the suspension rack, spankers, gyno table, red rocket, set of stocks, cage, sex machines, bondage table, and bondage chair -- but there'll also be an area set aside for needle play, and there may be a few surprises.

Spankings, Bondage, Floggings, Needle Play, D/s, a plethora of styles of play.

Wear your leathers, bring your slave or your top; come meet someone new or play with someone different -- either way you'll have an evening to remember.

Strict dress code: You MUST make an effort to dress up. No street clothes, no business suits, no blue jeans, no running shoes, no athletic wear, no camouflage pants, no flannel robes, no sunglasses, and no face masks. Bar/Dancing clothing is not acceptable.

This party is open to men and women, couples and singles. Any type of sex is of course permitted at this event.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Erotic Girls Shopping

Tonights Women's Swap n Shop was a success. Nine different vendors gathered at The Lounge to rid themselves of no longer wanted kinky clothing, toys, accessories, and even a naughty baker brought some delightfully deviant baking that she had just for this occasion.

I sold over the half stuff I brought and ended up reinvesting the money into new products.

I myself ended up with three very different butt toys. All silicone, so they can be boiled and sterilized, and most importantly they add to my collection of what I can offer in my teaching kits for my butt sex class and a few others.

A new yellow cane is now mine, which looks as though it really packs some punch - I can't wait to try it out, perhaps at Dungeon Players this Saturday.

Someone gave the Lounge, some bottles of lubricants, flavored and plain, so that was really nice.

I also came home with a new vibrating ball, which I am most eager to try out when I next get the chance. Most definitely a high end sex toy.

And the last thing, I shopped from the baker girl. She is a hottie and always popular around The Lounge, even when she doesn't have her baking with her. She was the one who made naughty cookies and sets of boobie cupcakes.

Being the exhibitionist she is, I received some photos from her, along with her permission to repost them here.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Memory Lane

These photos were taken while in Cuba the end of January and early into February. One is Salsa dance lessons at our resort. My man is a superb dancer, me not-so-much. Well not unless it involves removing my clothes.

The other is the fiancee and I with a fertility statue in Havana, it is said that if a woman rubs the beard and the man touches his hand, then she will become pregnant.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Keeping My Head Above Water

I awoke to snow this morning, and was rather clueless to it's existence until I flung open the drapes finally and got a good look at what so many friends had been writing in their blogs about earlier today. My oh my, is it ever pretty. Luckily too that there is not enough of the white stuff for it to be considered a bother.

My sleep last night was disrupted by unusual dreams of strangers and multiple trips to the bathroom to pee. Both highly unusual occurrences. I did sleep long and hard though, which was a necessity as emotionally I have been rather taxed lately.

Tonight I am teaching a private class to a rather large group of women, all Hanky Panky Home Party Consultants. Assisting them with the tools necessary to better sell their products and match them up to prospective buyers. I am eager to see them all again as it's been awhile since we've networked together and we always seem to have a riot when together.

The rest of my day involves emptying my email accounts and booking appointments for massage, manicure and a facial and if I am lucky a lunch date with a special and uber hot friend.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Politics of Sex

Sometimes it's hard for me to fathom the amazing place I have ended up in.

My occupation as a sex educator and the last decade of my life as a sex activist has been a true roller coaster ride. On this ride though, you couldn't see the top, you just had to believe it was there, somewhere between the scary low points and all the loop de loops.

It's been nauseating at the best of times. Creating a place for myself out of nowhere and selling myself has made me, my own fairly proficient agent. Writing classes and developing content has been tiresome, though always original. No copied work here, yet when I look around at others attempting to emulate my efforts it’s often the case that they are not so original and obvious where they have stolen from.

I have produced an enormous number of events over the years, from stand alone one evening types, to on going series, parties, conferences and social events. It's been my gift to the communities I serve and I have done so with great pride. I did mention nauseating at times right?

The politics of sex are enormous, and the place where the biggest fight is always being fought is from within the smallest sub section of one community in particular and even in that from one personality type actually. There are a grand number of communities where I fit it and call home, yet the one spot with the most continuous issues of grotesqueness is the public BDSM community.

(Where I call home: the women's community, the queer community, the public & private BDSM communities, the nudist community, the polyamory community, the sexually alternative community, the kinky and a parent community, the bondage community, the sex workers community, the professional sex educator community, the spiritually kinky community, the LGTBQ community)

I hold no illusions as to how YOU see me. Quite frankly I don't really give much time if any to pondering how you view me, it's not relevant to my journey. Nor do I wake up in the morning pondering the question. I get called all sorts of flowery names and even a few bad ones, and neither phases me. Your prejudice towards me is either based in your own shame about sexuality or your own ignorance as to what I do and who I am, or finally about your own insecurities surrounding my personal success.

I am loved, adored, admired, appreciated and sought after by those close to me, and those who do not even know me, but just need me. It balances out in the end. Call me what you will, but know that the words you use to describe me are actually a reflection on your own personal self, and not really about me, at all.

My place in this world, and as a professional sex worker is my own. I may have created my own spot here in the world, but I am kept here by those who employ me, and utilize all that I have to offer. I have worked tirelessly to be here and sacrificed more than you can possibly imagine to be who I am today.

I casually write my blog here, and endlessly host events to meet my own needs and to do what I see as my calling. We should all be so fortunate as to have careers that we are proud of. I take pride in myself and who I am. I own my self, my business and my desires. I don't talk for anyone but myself and I know my materials well.

If you hold me in high regard in respect to sex culture, thank you. If you do not, that's ok, I hope though that you do have some role models outside of yourself. It's important to look up to some one, to have a person you can trust that you can go to. Some one who may have been where you are right now, some time before you. A person willing to listen.

For many people I am their role model, their sexual confidant, their friend, teacher and guide. I covet this and have great respect for the trust you've bestowed upon me. Make no mistakes though; I am still your peer, no better than any other. Experience and time spent has given me a leg up on understanding where many of you are, because in my journey I was once where you are. I have documented my years in sex culture, and remained a constant attendee and participant on many levels, I don't come and go. I am ever present, here for both myself and for my career.

There are some who hold me rather high, and place me on a pedestal of sorts. Please don't, I fall easily and often and have even been known to break. I'm good at putting myself back together again, though it is time consuming and emotionally draining. I have no interest in being considered better than anyone, yet I am always aware that I have so much to share with people, that this is part of my gift. I forgive easily, so just because you've wronged me or treated me poorly at some point, does not mean that I would treat you poorly and wouldn't be there for you. Surprised? You shouldn't be? I am better than that.

We each have special powers; some of us have tapped into ours, while others are scared of theirs. My skills are educating and empowering individuals around sexuality and putting people at ease with what they have discovered about themselves. I keep people emotionally and physically safe all the time. It's just another part of my job and I am damn good at it. My prowess allows me many freedoms and affords me the luxury to be seen and heard by more people in a larger pool than you could likely ever reach. I handle this gift with great caution.

There are a few people who see my career very clearly and are in awe of all that it takes to maintain who I am and what I do. Then there are others, who think anyone could do it, and have it be so successful for him or her.

I make a living, a good living at what other folks do as a hobby. This makes for some jealousy on the parts of certain individuals. They were not able to transition with the grace necessary from hobbyist to professional as they were unable for any number of reason to put in the sheer number of work hours required to be here, and yeah, the sacrifices. Their Internet surfing and dabbling on weekends with play and kinky conversations is nowhere near comparable to my in depth intensive years of honing my skills.

To be here where I am, I had to let go of wanting to be everyone's friend. I had to let go of my vanity of fretting as to how others see me, from my neighbors, to my family and the general public. I had to sacrifice endless weekends, weekdays, vacation time, privacy and yeah, even relationships. I became singularly focused, my personal interests no longer mattered, what mattered was my career path.

Money ha, I let go of wanting (immediate) monetary wealth awhile back and started practicing the mantra, "do the job well and the money will eventually follow." I have worked for next to nothing for years, to finally be here today, finally being paid what I am worth. When one immerses themselves in study, learning and becoming proficient in a genre one should be rewarded eventually, if one is any good.

The line of thinking for some is that I and others like me, should give away what we know for free. The people who want our expertise and events for free are those who have made no contributions of their own. They haven't had to work so diligently for anything in their lives and do not value the effort it has taken to be so successful. There is little in life that is free and that which is, is often poorly done. You pay for what you get. In my corner of the world, this means attention to details, personalized attention, unique opportunities, and of course, a place where you can truly be yourself . I don't give away what I have worked for, it's worth more than that, but I share well.

I donate hours of coaching and counseling. I give away free passes to events. I donate time to schools and corporations. I even provide insightful answers to lengthy email requests with nothing in return. I remember where I came from and how Vancouver had no one like me when I started. I owe no debts for what I have become. I do my community service because I don't want anyone to slip between the cracks like I almost did and have to come up facing the underground of sex politics that can be so negative and damaging.

You get what you pay for, buyer beware. There is no regulatory board surrounding sex events and ethics there within. If there ever was I know who would make the list and who would never even make the cut.

Yup, the politics of sex does suck the big one and the politics of sex as a business are enormous, but for me, it's just another day in the office.

"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?" - Abraham Lincoln