Saturday, January 09, 2010

Sexual Resolutions

I have decided to dedicate this year, 2010, to be the year that I complete many resolutions surrounding sex and sexuality. By embarking on this journey I hope to reap many rewards for my efforts.

  1. enjoy more multiple orgasms rather than singular ones
  2. peg more men just for fun: no strings attached
  3. share my fantasies with those who inspire them
  4. bring to fruition / act out, that which turns me on
  5. make more time for my sexual appetite to be satiated
  6. buy new sexy panties & wear them every day
  7. wear garter belts & stockings more often
  8. if I find someone attractive, tell them
  9. when lusting after a person, share it with them while being open to where this could go
  10. grow my hair back out
  11. bed down with women for mutual pleasure when possible
  12. get new silky sheets for our bed and new pillow
  13. buy a sexy new robe and nightie
  14. have my teeth whitened
  15. sit on Jason's lap more often and
  16. get our baby out of our bed and into his own
  17. loose the rest of my pregnancy weight (8 pounds to go)
  18. maintain getting pedicures as I love having pampered feet
  19. read more erotica
  20. go see female strippers with friends
  21. take a strip tease class
  22. learn to salsa
  23. plan a weekend away with Jason filled with debauchery
  24. replace my belly button jewelry with something new & sexy
  25. wear cosmetics when out more often
  26. take a cosmetics class for an exotic and evening look
  27. give plenty of orgasms to others, expecting nothing in return

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

PICC Line & Pump

Last Tuesday morning I had my second MRI in six weeks. The first I had when the baby was one day old and now this most recent one. On both occasions they were looking at my jaw, and specifically the state of my jaw bone.

On September 30th I had my upper and lower wisdom teeth removed on the right side of my face. This was due to them coming in suddenly and causing me some serious angst. And of course, the lower one was impacted badly and had abscessed. This of course was a dental and medical nightmare given that I was six months pregnant.

The dental surgeon I was sent to removed them with rapid speed and we all hoped that would be the end of this poorly timed disaster. Within days, I was diagnosed with Dry Socket, a very painful nerve affliction along the lower jaw as a (somewhat common) complication of an extraction.

Tending to the infection proved difficult for the dental surgeon and it raged in my mouth for weeks. I repeatedly visited the dentist to seek help, yet nothing was done.

The pain became so severe in my head that I ended up in hospital and getting morphine to help me cope with it as doctors set about plotting my recovery. Dentists visits got me no where, it was only the hospital that started to look at me with a serious eye and noticed that the infection was deep. This meant it was no longer a dental issue and now a medical one.

My labor was induced due to many complications, including of course, the dental stress I was experiencing. I had been on twice a day IV therapy for 8 days prior to giving birth and four days after wards to try and kill of the infection in my mouth. This meant driving to the hospital every morning and ever night so they could hook me up to an IV bag of medication to the catheter they had inserted in my arm and left there for convenience.

The whole thing was wearing me down emotionally and physically and still my jaw pain raged on. I gained no weight the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy. I could barely eat. Talking hurt. My jaw was swollen, black goo oozed out of my mouth. My teeth felt like they were electrified and of course, I vomited a lot from the meds, the stress and the infection.

An Infectious Disease doctor was called in to look at my jaw and she was the one who first ordered the MRI that showed Osteomyelitis. This was not good news, but hey, it appeared it was in it's early stage still and they hoped the strong dose of IV antibiotics I was on would knock it out.

Last week the ID doctor ordered the second MRI to check on my jaw and the results were not good, I have degeneration of my jaw bone even further, have Osteomyelitis even worse now and something must be done to stop it's spread into my bones even deeper. Further the MRI showed a piece of wisdom tooth still lurking in the now closed over surgical hole in my lower jaw.

On Monday something radical is being done. I am having a PICC line inserted, it will be in me for quite some time. This procedure is what is ordered when someone needs long term IV therapy and it has to be continuous. Mine is being inserted in a deep vein in my left arm at the elbow, pushed up my arm across my chest, then down to just above my heart.

After the PICC line is in, I can be given constant medication through a pump that I will be wearing for what will be a minimum of six weeks. Bone infections are dangerous, really dangerous, so clearing it up is critical. Mix this in with the fact that I am perinatal and breast feeding and I am a wee bit of a worry for my doctor.

Tuesday the IV home therapy nurse is coming to our house to teach me how to operate the apparatus and to ensure I understand all that I need to. They will also be visiting me a couple times a week to check on my progress. You see, years back someone with my condition would have been hospitalized, luckily these days, I get to remain at home.

Now I await a surgery date to have my wisdom tooth socket reopened, cleaned out and that fragment removed finally. It's been three and half months of torture, and it's now become obvious that we need to sue the dental surgeon who did such a dodgy job to begin with in handling my case.

You might as well know, I am nervous as hell. This whole thing from the PICC line to surgery is mind bogglingly scary. A two foot long catheter shoved through my vein while I am awake is not something I feel positive about, in fact, it terrifies me. Lucky for me, they are given me some sedation to make the process easier to handle.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

from my pervy friend Craig

The Honeymoon

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"


"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what the par is for this damn hole!"