Friday, December 02, 2005

motherhood & babies

putting my daughter to bed this evening, I decided to curl up in her bed alongside her for half an hour of cuddling. Talking, laughing and being close was the plan and success was had! By the end of our 30 minutes she had the sweet look of sleepy love on her warm cheeks and as the light went out in the room - our love was heavy in the air and I knew our hearts had connected together.

I'm working long hours these past few weeks, but only because I'm taking time off at Christmas both for her birthday and for the big day of Christmas itself. (these are two days apart in our house)

Doug was my hero today and stopped off to pick up my daughter after school to take her home for me while I was at work. It's wonderful to have people to ask things off and to trust enough to do so.

Some times the feeling hits me, the want of another baby to grow in my womb, to nurse at my breast; the feel of a finger wrapped up in my hair and the first sound of "mama" coming to me from this small creature, the result of love and my womanhood. A baby would be so many things wonderful but the reality of my activism today says I've not the time to give myself to a baby the way I once did in years past.

As my activism has grown and changed over the years, so has my motherhood. Oddly enough, these two important items are interconnected. My activism has grown age appropriately to my daughters age/my motherhood and to my ability to be able to explain who I was and what I was doing at any time to her.

Allena would make a good mom, and we've even talked about babies before. But is it going to happen any time soon, that I'll be pregnant and Allena and I co parenting our baby with Jim?

the mother & the activist

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

snow, work & life

sitting at the kitchen table with the laptop and a pile of paperwork, the cordless phone sits next to me on the right, the left is the cell. TV turned off, no radio on, not a sound in the house but the noise of my tap tap tap on the key board and the subtle sound of snow warming to water, rolling off the patio.

This is a snow day of work. My plan: to stay inside, working till I need to pick my daughter up from school at 4:30 this afternoon. No unnecessary driving and no leaving the house. Perhaps some laundry this afternoon, but that's only downstairs.

This Friday's Naughty party date has been bumped forward to January and the new date/s and venue address are already up and posted.

On the weekend Jim & I went to see Elwood (body bodification artist, piercer & brander) in Richmond, and I got the prettiest barbells AND shields as new nipple jewelry. Two sets, how pretty my nipples will now be under my clothes for the surprise and delight of whomever is to find them.

And here's odd...the other day in the "list" email account for Libido Events was an email with the subject line as JOIN and the sender was my mother. Yup, you guessed right, I about fell off my chair as I stared at the email a few moments before actually opening it, where by I determined it was just sent from another woman who happens to share the exact same name with my mom but not the same email address. thankfully

Sadly my date for this evening has been postponed due to scheduling issues. B sent this as his parting line in his email after telling me of our date change...
Perhaps I need my own version of a Kara to help with my organizing as well - I hear sometimes they come in a box, so to speak.

I like to put kara inside of boxes. Boxes for sale at Ikea, trunks on stage, boxes in bedrooms and generally things with lids that are dark inside. She is so adorable when folded up small & compact. kara helps me stay on top off things in the world and B would love nothing more than an adorable, sexy woman willing to be put in a box and still keep his schedule straight just as she handles mine so well. :)

When speaking to Doug an hour ago he like B says "there is only one Kara and there's no one else like her. What kara does for you she wouldn't do for another."
Have you met her, do you know my kara? She is a beautiful, vibrant, passionate, loving & gentle woman.

And Doug, have you heard the news "your mine too now!" ha ha ha Get over it and get used to it, I'm enjoying having you around.

back to work now

bisexual, polyamorous, switch