Saturday, June 11, 2005

rope, submission and play

It's Saturday morning and I awoke at 6:36 just to start typing naked at the computer, cross legged and slightly chilled as my bed had been so nicely heated. Last night at 11:30, the lights went out here in my bedroom and I went straight to dream land. After of course, returning home from having dinner with the new guy and his wife. It would be wrong for me to not say how delicious the meal was, BBQ'd steaks, baked potatoes, corn on the cob, salad and sparkle cookies with ice cream for dessert. Yummy good! And when I left I left the dishes behind with them. See in my house, the dish washer is me, so dinner cooked for me and no dishes to do, you can understand then why it felt so special to me. Dinner PLUS...

Us three had a poly talk and it looks like all is going to work out between us. We're slowly negotiating a play / D/s relationship where by cute guy would be my bottom, yippee! Me, with a new guy to play with and he with an encouraging wife. It doesn't get any better than this. Now the way to maintain this type of extra curricular relationship is to keep everyone safe. Physically AND emotionally. Practice no surprises and don't scare the villagers. Keep everyone informed and get consent at every step along the way. And not just from him, but from the two of them as a couple. This is how I play and this is what keeps people around in my life is my ability to be that ethical player or if you will, that ethical slut. Managing multi partnered play and / or relationships is also easy for me because I'm not looking to be everything to anyone NOR will I allow anyone to look at me in that light.

Now about today - I work from 12-6 and then return home to shower and change my look from day time employee, to night time glamoured up Diva on her way to Sin City. Yes, it is tonight, the second Saturday of the month again and it's time. Time for the world of fetish, dancing, BDSM play and eye candy at 23 West Cordova from 9-3. Jim is arriving in at 8 to pick me up and we are heading straight to the event from here.

Who knows what I'll wear, but surely I'll be able to come up with something while I'm working today. Already I'm confident that I'll be exhausted BEFORE I even arrive but I know that the sex energy is so high there that it alone can keep me going all night long. What I'm thiking is that going tied in just a rope harness would be perhaps the best way to go, a guarantee if you will of endorphins going off, all that rope pulled tight and constricting around each of my breasts, binding me tight, holding me together, restrciting my breathing and making me filled with desire while navigating each step carefully in a pair of 6 inch heels and moving to the music and the endorphins. A piece of hemp rope, tied in to an intricate knot, just big enough to cover my mons, thus making it legal for me to be in a bar barely dressed!

Mix this in with the fact that my bottoming to rope and to perhaps some SM is even in the cards for me this evening. Gets me excited just thinking about it now. The other day I'd emailed my Daddy and asked him if we could play tonight...I've found as a bottom that the sure fire way to get my needs and wants met is to be able to not only articulate them out loud but also to offer something up in exchange. I offered Jim my submission and asked him if we could leave the Daddy part behind tonight seeing as though I'm really looking for some SM from him and I do this best with him (in public) when I do this masochism stuff with him as my Top and not as my Daddy. Make sense? I'd much rather have him come to me as my Daddy afterwards and carry me away and make it all better. See, I'm a girl who knows what she likes!

Oh yes, and yesterday when I checked the Libido Events post box I found to my giddy, lustful surprise that Midori's new book (Wild Side Sex: The Book of Kink) has arrived to me finally. Not only was it in the post box yesterday but by last night it has been read at work on a break, dropped in to my purse and flipped through at red lights and is now proudly laying on my bedside table next to some O'My lube. Erotica and lube at my bedside, are you catching on that I'm a tad bit of a sensualist? I am!

Off to scrub down with some Got2b soy and apple foaming body shower latte, before facing the world. If you see me at Sin City tonight and I'm not playing in the dungeon or otherwise engaged, then stop by and say hello.


Friday, June 10, 2005

moms reaction & her gift to me

My mother has arrived in one piece, toured the house twice and deemed it acceptable for both her daughter and grand daughter to live in. (thankfully)

Not a word from her either as she stood in my bedroom, before my dresser, looking at the Gatewood print, with a sticky note covering the bottom half of two men, hanging on my wall. Didn't blink an eye and I'm pleased with myself for making it easy for her to be here comfortably. (and for me)

Of course, my mom is a good mom and she arrived with a domestic care package and a bag of presents. Tonight mom is sleeping in my daughters bed and my child is of course spread out in my queen size bed, grinding her teeth and kicking off the covers. See what I have to look forward to shortly!

The coolest thing my mom gave me was a new coffee mug. Being born late October makes me a Scorpio and the mug says this about Scorpios...

You possess an intense, magnetic personality, and are very energetic. You are mysterious and secretive, and employ subtle methods to achieve your ambitious goals. You are very determined and thrive on challenges. In love, you are extremely passionate and sexual. You can hold a grudge at times, but when you come on strong, few can refuse you.

It's true, I've been called intense many of times and I take this as a positive, just like having a strong personality. Being energetic is obvious yes? Although lately I've been quite tired. Perhaps I need some vitamins.

Challenges are fun and hell yes I'm determined, couldn't be a sex activist and not be. And passionate, yup that's me too along with ambitious. Take a look around at my world, it takes ambition to see a future for sex positive culture and to walk here.

It's just a fun novelty type mug and yet I feel like it was written personally for me.

My guess is that some time tomorrow while I'm at work at daughter and mom are here without me, that my mom will sneak a peek at the Gatewood print sans the sticky note. Hopefully when this happens, she'll recognize that her daughter was trying to keep her safe and she'll smile at me and forget about the print that I have on my bedroom wall.

News on the poly front:

1. Kara has chosen her wedding dress
2. Bella is well at home in Seattle after our Tuesday overnight date
3. spoke to Jim he's in Bellingham at the studio
4. new guy is taunting me by talking about body massages

mother, daughter and sex activist all rolled in to one tonight

Thursday, June 09, 2005

sticky notes to hide genitals

I bring this up because my mother is on her way over to my house for the first time since we've moved in to the new place.

On the wall, above the dresser in my bedroom hangs a print that I adore. It was a gift of sorts awhile back and it's been put in a matt & frame and hung with love.

The print itself is a black & white 8x10 framed to 11x14, so you can see how it would get noticed hanging on the wall, above the dresser in my bedroom right? Did I mention that a lamp sits below it, illuminating it ever so well?

Oh the photographer is San Francisco's Charles Gatewood and when he last stayed here at the house, he gave me the print as a gift. Charles is the most amazingly kind man and such a talented and famous modern primitive / erotic photographer. (there are other prints in the house, but nothing quite like this print from Charles)

The print is of two gay men (likely lovers) standing in the door way of a New York sex club inside rooms. It's a stunning print of these men, arm in arm, each wearing a mask to disguise them if you will. Both men are in lingerie and the photo ends just about mid thigh on them. Ropes hang in the background and you can almost smell the musk of these men, cause it's just that sexy.

A sheer black garter with stockings on this one man and he's wearing a camisole and holding a beer with his tongue slightly pushed out. The other man his cock is exposed, hung ready for something, anything, bare chested, garter and stockings with a sly smile and the look of a man whose really comfortable with himself and his partner.

I love this print and do not plan on removing it from my wall before my mother arrives, yet I do feel like it's not appropriate for her to run across it while she tours the house tonight and tomorrow.

Here's what I've done to make myself feel better about my mothers reaction to the print. In my top desk drawer are yellow sticky notes. Sitting at my desk with pen in hand, I wrote across the top sticky note on the block...

lift with caution

It's true, I now feel much better about my mother looking at the print. Because you see, I took that sticky walked to the print & firmly traced the gummed backing on to the glass of the frame. It was just big enough to cover the lower waist area of these two men, thus hiding their genitals.

Now if my mother looks, it's all on her. And as for me, I feel like a good daughter for keeping her safe from something that I know she would rather not see. She'll know it's there, but she'll get that I went to some effort to think of her and protect her. (atleast this is my hope)

My mom is due in any minute and I need to finish readying the house for her arrival and my daughter for bed.

Later tonight after I get them both tucked in, my plan is to spend some time working on the computer on Libido Events stuff and having a peek under the sticky before I turn out the light for bed.



Tuesday, June 07, 2005

shifting of power

Last night Jim and I were cuddled up on the sofa (alone in the house) after the rope bondage class, the news was just ending and he starts to speak. Since we're alone, I am naked, his preferred way to have me. "Lay back, flat on the sofa" he says as he get's on his knees along side my outstretched body and pulls the cushion out from under my head. His hand ran the length of my body and there may have been a kiss to my forehead before I saw his hand reach towards the pocket on his jeans.

Now earlier, before the news on tv, before naked, we'd arrived back from the class and I set about putting everything away. Asked to ready myself for bed and with permission set about brushing my teeth, using the washroom and folding back the bed. While in the bedroom putting things away, I had seen underneath his computer bag on top of the medical table in my room, the caddle prod.

The caddle prod and I have a long history together, it's a love - hate relationship and I'm sure you can understand why. I love the fear & terror it conjures up in me and the intensity of the pain it creates YET I hate the fact that it can humble me to tears and groveling and make it impossible for me to control my flailing body when it strikes. But we get so close when we play with it. Really close, it's a huge trust thing to play with a toy like that and a huge turn on too.

He reaches in to his pocket and says in a really stern loud tone "Arms up, over your head and keep them there!" Damn I don't like this already yet I want to play so bad that what ever he wants will be ok with me. So long as it keeps us close. A Wartenburg pinwheel comes out from behind the caddle prod that I can see sticking out of his pocket and he trails it over my body till I dance and shimmy and groan and moan so loud that I know he wants to use me more for something more.

And then there we go, here it comes, my uncertainty, my fear, my panic and a caddle prod all at once. The mind or at least my mind, goes so fast at this moment. My bottom lip quivering and the caddle prod being pushed in to my thigh then thighs, and traced over every inch of my trembling body. Legs spread, against my will but with my consent and I'll be damned, but I was so aroused with fear, want and submission that when it touched my labia, yes, my legs shook and clamped shut briefly, but what he wanted in that moment was for me to give it all up to him. It's sliding in to my moistness and I know that if I had not been so aroused it never would have or could have been pushed in me. It's my own want that has create this horrible predicament for myself. Could have gotten up and walked away in that moment as the only things holding me still was my desire to please my Daddy. Have faith Jennifer. Trust in me. I'll keep you safe. We've done this before, it hurts so bad only because you know the pain...

Funny thing for me with a caddle prod, once it lands, I can't find exactly where it landed any more as the feeling spreads so far out. Pushed in deep to my torso it's an exhilarating sensation and one that I'll continue to seek out.

About 1am we went to bed and at 3 I was sleeping on the sofa to avoid the snoring. Then at 5am, sleeping the sleep of the dead, I'm suddenly being carried briskly through the house in the arms of my Daddy, thrown to the bed, rolled over and shown yet again, who has the power in our relationship.

Now at 11:00 today Daddy left for his house and Allena is next on her way up to me from Seattle and due in at 6 tonight. In her and my relationship, I've got the power and tonight it will be fun to exercise it over her. What to do with her? Well I certainly won't be deciding this here, but over dinner I'm sure I'll create something.

The BBQ is ready and all I need now is for the knock at my door and to hear Bella say, "I've arrived Ma'am" and I'll know that the power has shifted in my house and in my bed yet again.

a switch

Monday, June 06, 2005

fitting it all in

Saturday you could have seen me sitting watching a parade with my daughter in the morning then wandering the closed, chaotic streets for a few hours had you been in Burnaby on Hastings Street at The Hats Off Day Parade. And thankfully the rain held off for the entire day and we were able to have such a great time together. Although I did not buy any cotton candy at the parade I did consume at 9:00 in the morning a Spicy Hot Italian oversized sausage on a bun and ate it till the final crumbs were in my mouth.

Following the parade festivities, my daughter along with a friend of hers went to a movie together then swimming. This of course left me suddenly with some available time. Should have, could have many things, but instead ended up out with new guy to dinner at a local pub and for a nice talk and visit. When we got back to his place, he presented me yet again, with another package of Chocolate Sparkle Cookies. WOW! These things are to die for, they are the worlds first baked truffle and they're made by Thomas Haas here in Vancouver.

Is it a Cookie? Is it a Truffle? Or is it a Dessert?

This award winning chocolate treat is so unique that it is difficult to categorize. Some call it a truffle, Vancouver Sun calls it The Best Cookie in the World.

Award Winning
"The World's Best Cookie"
Vancouver Sun, Feb 2003

"One of the Top Ten Favorite Recipes of the Year"
LA Times, Dec 2002

One thing I know for sure. The man has good taste in his sweets and I'm grateful.

We visited for awhile and then it was time for me to pick up the girls from the pool and bring them home seeing as the friend was sleeping over. By the time the girls were to bed at 10:30 I actually fell in to an exhausted sleep, thankfully. It was just needed.

Up Sunday morning and drove daughters friend home at 10 and then arrived back just in time to take a call from Kara saying her plans for the day had changed due to weather. I invited her along to the mall to clothes shop for my 11 year old who is growing at such a rapid pace these days.

We met up in the mall and off the 3 of us went. Kara, like Allena both move through my life, heart and home so often that they all just fit in to my family. While the child was in the change room it was time for a few stolen moments between Kara and I of pinched nipples, lingering touches, low moans of built up want and girl play. Doing things to Kara when she leasts expects them makes me wet. It's the look of surprise/alarm, right before it washes over to lust that makes it so hot for me visually. And that's really the only reason why I do things to her. Is that I like how it looks on her. Holding hands and being arm in arm is just a given with me, I'm like that with all my partners. Not the ideal way to spend time with my bottom in a mall, but hey, when life has got me being mom, then mom is what rules. Part of what makes Kara and Allena so special is there ability to honor me a mother by not making it hard for me to be a partner. (because out of all my partners, in poly or just casual play, I'm the only one with a child)

Wow, tomorrow is Monday already and Jim and I are teaching Rope Bondage 1 at the studio. It's always cool to see who shows up to rope classes, whose learned what and who is turning in to a rope Top or a rope Slut. After the class Jim and I return to a empty home as my daughter will be at her dads. After this update I plan on letting my Sir, my Daddy know that we'll be alone so perhaps he can preplan how he may wish to use me / and as such pack accordingly.

Jim's been with Allena in Seattle all weekend as I've been home bound. This Tuesday, Allena is coming up here to spend a day and night with me. Poly only works when communication is at it's best. And these days it's working pretty good, because everyone in my world is getting some of me as well as some of's with their other partners too. Life is good.

Seeing as though it's after 1, it would be wise for me to crawl in to my bed. My office is in my bedroom so it's not far for me to go. I've spent time on my knees before on this carpet, I'm confident I can crawl to bed on my own without anyone actually dragging me. (although being dragged can sure be hot!)

hugs, kisses and blessings,