Friday, May 21, 2010

My heart swells

When Jason came into my life I was already a worldly woman. I had a child of my own who was a teenager, I had been in love many times and had my broken more times than I care to recount. Relationships had come and gone and with each I grew wiser just a wee bit more.

I come from a very turbulent childhood myself, my family history being sad and not very nurturing at all. I am perhaps what many might call a self made woman. Paying my own way through school and struggling with raising my daughter on my own while aspiring to build a career.

Not owning a home of my own, I was a renter who always had rent money, yet regularly lacked the funds to do much more than the bare basics and had to forgo so much. I was happy but weighed down with worry more than I ever would have shared. The struggle was immense.

Jason met me on the climb up and out of mediocrity. I was aspiring to be more. Building my own business, freeing myself of relationships that were not healthy, creating goals and surpassing them and not at all looking to be partnered with anyone else. I was on a mission to be successful in life and then thought that when I had all it all together, per chance, I just might look for a relationship again.

At public classes of mine, Jason sat in the chairs and took in workshops I taught. I apparently did not notice him for some time, well not personally anyways, just enough though to regard him politely as a student.

At Taboo one year I spotted him walking along and I struck up a random conversation with him. I asked him out on a date. I was not looking for a relationship of any sort, just interested in a good time with no strings attached.

What I wanted and what I got are two very different things.

I fell in love in a way that defies me to explain it. Jason became the-one-for-me. The man I wanted to marry. The one I would lean on and who would be able to see me in a way no one else had. I let him bear witness to my vulnerabilities and showed him the other side of "Jennifer of Libido Events".

Jason touched my heart in ways I had not thought possible. He cared for me with a depth of commitment that struck me as phenomenal. His support and thoughtfulness gave me the continued strength to claw my way upwards in the world. He taught me how to be a partner and he showed me how to have class.

My man has shown me repeatedly that I need not do anything on my own, that he will always be there for me. It is a powerful sentiment and action all rolled into one.

I was worldly on so many levels before Jason, but this man of mine completed the picture. We moved in together and he and the teenager fell for each other and have always had the most harmonious relationship imaginable. He treats and loves her as his own.

My life has changed in so many ways. Financially I make more than I ever thought I would, so now I've upped my goals in this area. My career has sky rocketed. I'm in demand more than I can make myself available. I turn down work even.

We are a couple, a unit, a creation of love and together we can do anything. We own our own house, have a child together, are raising our family, jointly growing a shared business and yet still have our own individual careers.

What I lack in knowledge or experience, Jason has in abundance and he so freely shares with me. I give back to him anything he wants or needs, and sometimes I am even lucky enough to find something to give to him that he didn't even know he wanted.

What was once a dream of a hard working young woman, is now the reality for myself.

I'm in love. And feeling rather introspective as I sit here in Berlin after being in London and Paris with my soul mate.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Paris Memories

I am way too busy (and tired) to write much of anything right now. Though here are two photos for you to drool over. Paris is most delightful in so many ways. The bottom photo is shot against the backdrop of the Louvre along the Seine, the first photo needs no caption.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Europe Day 6

Its just after 10 at night here in London.

This is a photo Jason shot of me earlier today as we made our way over to Buckingham Palace off of the London Underground. (they call the trains "the tube") The background is the London Eye which we rode earlier in the day.