Saturday, October 04, 2008

Promoter & Agent

I first met Jack Rinella about six years ago as we travel in some similar circles. Sex Activism & Education, the International BDSM community, and as Public Speakers.

A few years I spent some serious time with him discussing how to transform his image as a speaker to make himself more sought after professionally speaking to the general public. My voice, opinions and suggestions resonated with him deeply.

Jack first tried to "hire me" to assist him in his development about three ago. He certainly wouldn't be the first author in sex culture to come to me for such services. I was flattered greatly by his offer, but sadly unable to take him on as a contract for a variety of reasons.

We remained friends and continued to cross paths at large events where by he would ask me casually now and again if I had changed my mind, and was finally willing to be his promoter and agent. Nothing changed, I could not help him, though of course I always wished the best for him and the direction of his career.

Now for the last two days, Jack has been here with us in Vancouver teaching for Libido Events and Libido Lounge. It's been wonderful to have him on Canadian soil and in my home as our time together has before been only in the US.

Since the man arrived to me, he has asked me FOUR times to reconsider his offer. He's not joking! He wants me and what I have to offer. Jack Rinella wants me as his agent. He's seen my desk, my office, Libido Lounge, and the new website. He's met the people in my world and listened as my phone has rung non stop with work offerings. He wants me and what I can potentially do for him in the same way I've created this all for myself. I *think* I make it look easy.

It's a good feeling to be desired professionally and to have someone want you to represent them. It's a wonderful feeling to be asked to critique a person you hold in high regard and someone who was around when I first started my journey, the man has fourteen kinky years on me, yet he wants my opinions and help.

I felt bad turning him down again. I really do feel bad having to say no. It's not that I am not interested in sharing my success, it is that there is no way he could possibly pay me enough money to do what I do so well for for myself, for him.

I've freely given him much already and we have some plans on a a few future projects together but this is all that I can offer him, just brief advice at this point in my life.

With a teenager at home that needs me, two life partners to love, a home to keep up, Libido Lounge to run, a traveling and teaching schedule to maintain, a baby on the way ASAP, constantly developing new content for my projects, pondering a book written by me, being my own agent and getting a Masters Degree I can see NO POSSIBLE way to be there for any one else's journey.

You couldn't pay me enough dough and quite frankly I just can't spread myself any thinner. As it stands, most of my friends never see me, only get me in email and when I take a vacation I come home to a back log of emails that is severe and has me buried for days on end, before I can even resume my normal work schedule.

But I'll say it again. I'm flattered and tickled too, that Jack Rinella wants me and my professional skills. I feel good about this, it's a serious a pat on the back from someone I admire who also admires me and the work it has taken me to achieve this level of success.

I'd love to work with Jack on a deeper level with a contract and the pay that would come with it but I'll make do with knowing that I'm sought-after.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Baby Planning

The weather has changed, it's cooler out now than I'd like and the sun is hiding away again. I prefer the warmer temperatures as I seem to be happier without gray skies and rain on my head. Alas, Fall is here and I need to adapt to this new season, again.

The change in the temperature and on the page on my calendar, making it now October always serves as a reminder that I am getting older. You see, my birthday is at the end of this month, right before Halloween.

I like birthdays I really do, but this one has got my knickers tied in a knot. I will be thirty six years old, in a mere few weeks. Not flamingly old, but older none the less. After turning thirty five last year, I've been noticing more and more articles in the paper, and health care professionals on tv discussing mothers over the age of 35, as OLDER.

You see, we're very close to having a baby. The appointments have been made, the tests all run and things are working well in my body. It is time. But let me reiterate, the media keeps saying to me, that women are waiting "till they are OLDER" to have babies now a days.

I had my daughter at the start of my twenties, some time ago now. So much so, that I can honestly say that I have forgotten the horrific labor that raged through my body for 27 hours before the birth of my incredible baby girl.

So ok, I am older now and getting very close to do it "ALL OVER AGAIN". Am I old? I think not. I feel like I'm settling in nicely to adult hood, right-about-now. But to call me older, or old makes me think of some dried up curmudgeon giving birth and this is so not me.

I'm fit, healthy, lively, fun, loving, responsible, successful, loved, in a wonderful relationship and finally ready to be a mom to another child, again.

My daughter is ready to be a big sister and RC is ready to be a father for the first time in his life. Our family is about to grow. And so is my belly.

Change is good and welcome around our household. I don't have any fear this time round as we're all having this child together, our whole family.

My daughter was born with natural child birth, a mid wife and a birthing room. This baby is going to come from me, as I smile instead of scream. Nothing natural needed this time round, I'm older and smarter and know my limits. Give me drugs and let me enjoy the process of being old enough and wise enough to make such a profound decision to have this second child with the aides of modern medicine.

My age is certainly relevant to my decision for drugs this time round!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Sarah Palin

I am having Sarah Palin nightmares. I dreamt last night that she was a member of a club where they rode snowmobiles and wore the claws of drowned and starved polar bears around their necks. I have a particular thing for Polar Bears. Maybe it's their snowy whiteness or their bigness or the fact that they live in the arctic or that I have never seen one in person or touched one. Maybe it is the fact that they live so comfortably on ice. Whatever it is, I need the polar bears.

I don't like raging at women. I am a Feminist and have spent my life trying to build community, help empower women and stop violence against them. It is hard to write about Sarah Palin. This is why the Sarah Palin choice was all the more insidious and cynical. The people who made this choice count on the goodness and solidarity of Feminists.

But everything Sarah Palin believes in and practices is antithetical to Feminism which for me is part of one story -- connected to saving the earth, ending racism, empowering women, giving young girls options, opening our minds, deepening tolerance, and ending violence and war.

I believe that the McCain/Palin ticket is one of the most dangerous choices of my lifetime, and should this country chose those candidates the fall-out may be so great, the destruction so vast in so many areas that America may never recover. But what is equally disturbing is the impact that duo would have on the rest of the world. Unfortunately, this is not a joke. In my lifetime I have seen the clownish, the inept, the bizarre be elected to the presidency with regularity.

Sarah Palin does not believe in evolution. I take this as a metaphor. In her world and the world of Fundamentalists nothing changes or gets better or evolves. She does not believe in global warming. The melting of the arctic, the storms that are destroying our cities, the pollution and rise of cancers, are all part of God's plan. She is fighting to take the polar bears off the endangered species list. The earth, in Palin's view, is here to be taken and plundered. The wolves and the bears are here to be shot and plundered. The oil is here to be taken and plundered. Iraq is here to be taken and plundered. As she said herself of the Iraqi war, "It was a task from God."

Sarah Palin does not believe in abortion. She does not believe women who are raped and incested and ripped open against their will should have a right to determine whether they have their rapist's baby or not.

She obviously does not believe in sex education or birth control. I imagine her daughter was practicing abstinence and we know how many babies that makes.

Sarah Palin does not much believe in thinking. From what I gather she has tried to ban books from the library, has a tendency to dispense with people who think independently. She cannot tolerate an environment of ambiguity and difference. This is a woman who could and might very well be the next president of the United States. She would govern one of the most diverse populations on the earth.

Sarah believes in guns. She has her own custom Austrian hunting rifle. She has been known to kill 40 caribou at a clip. She has shot hundreds of wolves from the air.

Sarah believes in God. That is of course her right, her private right. But when God and Guns come together in the public sector, when war is declared in God's name, when the rights of women are denied in his name, that is the end of separation of church and state and the undoing of everything America has ever tried to be.

I write to my sisters. I write because I believe we hold this election in our hands. This vote is a vote that will determine the future not just of the U.S., but of the planet. It will determine whether we create policies to save the earth or make it forever uninhabitable for humans. It will determine whether we move towards dialogue and diplomacy in the world or whether we escalate violence through invasion, undermining and attack. It will determine whether we go for oil, strip mining, coal burning or invest our money in alternatives that will free us from dependency and destruction. It will determine if money gets spent on education and healthcare or whether we build more and more methods of killing. It will determine whether America is a free open tolerant society or a closed place of fear, fundamentalism and aggression.

If the Polar Bears don't move you to go and do everything in your power to get Obama elected then consider the chant that filled the hall after Palin spoke at the RNC, "Drill Drill Drill." I think of teeth when I think of drills. I think of rape. I think of destruction. I think of domination. I think of military exercises that force mindless repetition, emptying the brain of analysis, doubt, ambiguity or dissent. I think of pain.

Do we want a future of drilling? More holes in the ozone, in the floor of the sea, more holes in our thinking, in the trust between nations and peoples, more holes in the fabric of this precious thing we call life?

written by Eve Ensler

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Keeping Up

It's already October, who can believe it???!!!? :::gasp:::

Some days, ever which way I turn I feel lost. Sadly a lot of today has been like this.

I slept shitty and placed blame wrongly on the man in my life, when *apparently* what woke me as I had just drifted off to sleep was not him. Uhh ... sorry sweetie.

Due to said horrid sleep, I was up and out of the house at the ungodly hour of 8:45 AM. I managed to run my morning errands in the city and be done with them in remarkably short order. Having returned a box of art to a local photographer in time for an exhibit she is apart of this weekend. Since we took down her "woman art" from our walls she is giving us "man art" next. I'm really excited to see everyone's reactions to the new series.

A stop off at the local sushi haunt, to get my daughter something special for dinner. RC and I have Deviant Dining this evening, so I just knew she'd appreciate a surprise for herself to eat.

Off to the post box to unload it into my purse, and then a run into the produce market and the butchers. Like I said, it was errand morning, sometimes this shit just has to get done.

Then I promptly came home, unpacked everything into the fridge, and crawled right back into bed for a 90 minute nap. Yup, another nap in the middle of the day and necessary to boot, as I'm still fighting this crapastic bug that won't let its hold on me go already.

I awoke just in time to notice that there were three calls on my cell that all required urgent attention. One call had such worrying news that RC threw on clothes and we were out of the house in panic mode in under 3 minutes to prevent a crisis. Both of our hearts were pounding as we tended to this high level emergency. Thankfully we had it under control in less than 2 hours and were able to return home again.

Now my guy bought 1200 feet of delicious hemp rope recently and has been dying, cutting and oiling it now with much gusto. Everything RC does, he does well and the rope is just another example of how fast he learns new skill sets to ... perfection. You can't tell his rope dying, oiling and cutting from any of the big named sources out there.

I'm cooking a roast with peppers right now, for dinner this evening at The Lounge and am already all dressed, and in a skirt even. My feet are adorned with a brand new pair of Steve Madden shoes in purple, one of the two pair RC bought me in Seattle last weekend.

Now off to Deviant Dining!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Friends & Ignorant People

I had a wonderful sleep in this morning, till 10. Then I saw clients in the office just after noon. Wonderful women, and I was able to easily give what they needed. Came home and had a mid day nap, which was needed as my body has still not fully recovered from this latest bout of illness that has been plaguing me.

Squeezed in a short bit of time with my daughter after school and had a chance to catch up with her and her interesting teen-world.

I found this phone number on the evening news ... 1 866 580 3625 It is the DO NOT CALL REGISTRY for those of us who no longer wish to be contacted by telemarketers. I've tried a few times to get through and get registered, however since the program just launched today, the number has been busy, non stop. Get yourself registered if you are like me and sick and tired of being hounded by fruitcakes trying to sell me things I never asked for.

Then back to the Lounge again for a working event where a number of writer volunteers met me to assist with the rewrites of all of my class write ups. We're getting this all done in time for the new websites launch. Six different individuals working fervently towards a similar goal had the work done in just three hours. My friends ROCK - thank you to each of you who helped out.

RC came by The Lounge after his work day, and assembled our brand new tripod swing. Oh My Goddesses, wait till you climb in and feel for yourself what a ride it is! We have amassed an incredible collection of BDSM equipment, sex machines, and sex equipment too.

Now we are all home together and it is soon nights end. RC is eating in the dining room, my daughter and i are in the living room side-by-side on computers and we are all tired. My In Box is just about caught up and next I'm going to spend a short while before bed, loading events into the new calendar.

You know your good, when others mimic you. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, BUT it also just shows how dense some people are that they can't even create anything new themselves, by idea or even by topic. I appreciate everyone sharing how much they find laughable these copy cats and how mocking their attempts is now a community joke.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Michael Kandola does a Hate Crime

Given what I have read thus far on this matter, and heard the victim speak of, it is fitting that Michael Kandola's actions be prosecuted as a "Hate Crime" on top of the charge of "Assault" that has already been filed against him.

Kandola broke a mans jaw in THREE places, with one sucker punch when he had no reason to. He was not provoked, and did not even know the victim.

Kandola hates gays, and used sexual orientation slurs to further punch home his message to the poor young fellow who was simply walking down a street holding the hand of his same-sex friend, before being dropped to the ground, broken and battered.

The full article found in the Vancouver Sun can be read here. The photo of Kandola is to show YOU the face, of this horrid man, so filled with hate that he thinks he is above the law and able to harm anyone at will.

Remember this face, tell your friends and family his name, shame him for his despicable actions.
The fact that our Crown Council wants him charged with a Hate Crime is further proof that the powers that be, are *starting* to notice the publics outrage at these types of crimes and the perpetrators actions as heinous and uncalled for. Of course it should come as no shock to anyone that Kandola was already "known to police" according to BCTV and the noon news.

And hey Kandola, many of us believe in's hoping your God gets to you, before someone else takes this matter up with you, aside from the BC Court system. What goes around, comes around.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Jack Rinella Vancouver visit

I love Seattle and all my friends and supporters here. Hell, I love shopping in this city, it is just outrageous the difference in prices between Canada and the US.

We've been through so many stores, I couldn't even name them all. But the receipts are *very telling* as we've spent a lot of money thus far this visit. We don't do this that often but with Fall coming both RC and I were in dire need of a number of fine items that were best obtained South of the border. And so, we made it happen.

There was also package awaiting us at Allena's: over twenty dildos, butt plugs and strap-on's. We have amassed a boat load of intriguing cargo to be bringing home with us upon our return. I have this vision of the Jeep exploding open at the border, and sex toys exploding out all over the place along with designer clothes.

We're both starting to feel much better now, RC still looks a little weary though and I have a bad cough, but hey we can stand upright without feeling faint in like, oh, ten seconds. Progress is good.

The weather is gorgeous and we've eaten in some wonderful restaurants as well. All in all a good time so far.

I checked my professional email account today, and was so grateful that I had enabled my Auto Responder. If I owe you an email, it could take me a bit to get back to you.

This week has some kick ass events going on, what with Jack Rinella's in town teaching two classes for us, our Deviant Dining dinner event, and our NAUGHTY Play Party on Saturday. I guess we do need to return home to bring this all to fruition.