Friday, July 29, 2005

2 wolves & willy wonka

Today had me working a 7 hour day and then driving home to my daughter to pick her up and spend an evening out with her. Together we went to see Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. What a wonderful movie, we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves getting lost in this adaptation of an old classic. There's this scene where Willy is showing the factory to 5 children and their guardians and as they go past all of the rooms which contain the centers for many of their best candies they stop suddenly infront of one room which just demanded my attention. Hair cream, toffee cream and you guessed it, whipped cream.

So when they get to view the whipped cream room I hear the distinct crack of a whip, the sound of many whips, sounds like a play party that I'd play at. But no it's not. It's 4 oompa loompa's whipping a cow with single tails and it's suspended some how above the ground. I was so busy being captivated by the sudden surprising sight of 4 midgets whipping the cow that I neglected to check out the rigging or even what was holding the damn cow up! ha, too funny, anyways, then Willy Wonka, looks at the group of visitors and says "well sweety, everyone knows that the best cream is whipped cream."

The movie was over at 8:45 and we were home by 9:00pm and seeing as I left this morning at 10:30am, it's been a long day for me.

Jim sent me this the other day and I thought I'd share it here...

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a debate that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between 2 "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."



Wednesday, July 27, 2005

bondage and me

I'd like to spend some time emptying my head of all that is spinning around in it to my Blog but I simply don't have it in me to write much tonight. The days are so full and long that it seems unending lately. Time is so valuable and scarce. I'm always on the go, both physically and emotionally. Perhaps these are a few of the reasons that bondage captivates me...

It's the contrast.

Bondage is my opportunity to be still with myself and to have to listen to my body instead of my head for a change. To follow the desires of my lust and cunt and not my intellectual self for awhile.

Bondage demands and gets my full attention all at once.

Bondage is where I get to be free of the load I carry in the day to day world and solely concentrate on making it through the next moment in breath or in comfort.

Bondage is where I submit myself to the sensations that are being created in me and on me both by the bondage itself and by the partner.

Bondage is where nothing else matters because I can't think past my bound bodies own happy bliss.

Bondage allows me! Me! Me Jennifer, it allows me to give up control. Takes not a lot to contain me, but once you've got me bound, damn the possibilities are endless. And I get in to this head space when I give up control that makes me want to please...funny thing that is. It's a damn fine thing then that I have wonderful people in my life who like to take control of me, contain me and allow me to submit to them and please them.

I'm grateful for Bondage. It's taught me much about my own self and contained me through many days & nights.

Jim's not here tonight, he's in Bellingham and I'd like nothing more than to be laying in bed next to him bound in hemp rope. I'm my Daddys good little rope slut and know exactly what I need. It's just a shame that my Daddy and his rope are not here though.

Time for me to sleep, alone.


Monday, July 25, 2005

bottoming 101

Jim left this morning for home after a great weekend here together. Bondage party Saturday night was so much fun that I'm going to host another one. Then Sunday we had a wild morning and early afternoon in bed before heading out to do some errands for a short while. Returned home and invited a couple of friends over for some snacks and laid back conversation later in the evening.

Tonight I'm teaching a class that I first taught in 2001 at The North American Conference on Bisexuality, Gender, and Sexual Diversity held at UBC here in Vancouver. Here is the class information 4 years and a lot of personal practice later to fine tune it for 2005

Bottoming Skills 101 - learn how to bottom from a bottom
Monday July 25
doors open 7:00pm
workshop 7:30-9:30pm
Tickets $20 cash, Pay at the door
Venue: upstairs 2280 East Hastings Street Vancouver

More information

Do you want to give yourself up to someone in an erotic sense? Do you want to surrender to a partners wishes, orders or demands? Learn how to fly in rope bondage, SM or role play?

You'd like to learn some skills as a bottom then. Excellent! Now let's make you a better play partner or perhaps a more sought after one. Join me as I share with you the realism of making your bottoming fantasies become sexy realities. Learn to bottom from this bottom as we discuss the journey of bottoming from the mental self recognition of our desires to presenting one self for play to a Top. Whether your looking for insights to bottom a first time or for your hundredth time this class will offer you new ways to look at how you present yourself both for play and to partners.

Critical to a good bottoming experience is a good Top and we'll spend some time talking about what makes one. For some, the journey of bottoming flows in to submission and surrender over an evening or a relationship long, while for others it becomes a way of life. Safe words, SM play, negotiation skills, conditioning of erotic responses and many other needed topics for bottoms will be addressed while still leaving time for Q & A at the end.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

to the shredder

For almost two years now I've had the same photo hanging on the bulletin board in my office. I spend great amounts of time working in this area every day and so I saw the photo countless times daily.

This photo wasn't the type that hangs on the wall, but you never really see. It hung on my corkboard because I put it there to remind me of how people change and I always had my eyes open wide when looking at it.

It was a photo of man standing in my living room, a friend at the time. Hanging next to the photo, has been a poem titled "How Do You Live Your Dash?" that I copied and put there. It reads like this...

For almost two years, I've read the poem daily, looked at this mans photo and finally came to a realization.

I was ready to rid myself of the burden and baggage of looking at him and his face daily. I knew it would give me great pleasure to put his photo through my paper shredder.

I proceeded to remove the photo from the bulletin board and laughed happilly all the while watching him shred. Collected the pieces and rehung him, shredded, back on the bulletin board. He hung as that mess for about a week while I showed a few friends who'd appreciate my efforts and then I tossed him into the trash like the piece of garbage the photo had become. The whole experience was good for me and rather therapeutic too.

Now all that remains on my board is the poem which I adore because I'm all about the dash.

And with the man removed from my board I'm now free to move on. Funny I hadn't really thought that a simple photo hanging there could hold me to the past but it did. Now free, I'm happy to have room to hang things that are actually important to me. Like my tax bill! ha