Friday, December 23, 2005

good friends

thanks Paul, Ray, Linnea, Doug, Allena, Terri, Brendan, Juju and and everyone else for such a wonderful night last night. Spending hours hanging out with you all was a wonderful evening out for both myself and Allena.

We arrived in late and finally were able to cuddle up in my bed together and drift off thinking of all our wonderful friends this Christmas season.

and now today is my daughters birthday. These days are beyond busy, happily.


accomodation ad

There is a woman that I met & befriended a few months back that is looking for a local home. When we met she was only visiting Vancouver and now here she is with an ad she wrote for what's most important to her. Drop her a line please if you can help her our OR point her in a good solid housing direction!



....woman, late bloomer and soul-searching type, seeks shared home with another woman/women or possibly a community home, that embraces a sex positive and/or kink positive attitude for Jan 1/2, but possibly for February 1.

Consciousness is important to me. I tend to be more introverted than extroverted and I definitely need my quiet time. I eat meat and still consider myself conscious. Like to eat organic as much as possible and use environmentally friendly products in the home.

Nonsmoker/drug user/drinker. Allergic to cats but love them to bits and much more than dogs. A bathtub is essential! No car, computer or furniture and about 30 boxes that represent my life. Willing to consider a location from Kits to Commercial and inbetween. Can pay rent around $500. Contact me at

c a b o u n d y e s @ h o t m a i l . c o m

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

news for Canadians

check out this most amazing article, sent to me by my friend K. Who like me, is happy to see in the news from Canadas high court, that us kinksters, really are free to pursue our own sexual pleasures in adult clubs.

A good read and one that will make you want to mark your calendar with Friday January 27 as the next Libido Events Naughty Party - sex, bondage & BDSM.

Good times legally and with the blessing of Canadas courts, I'll see you ALL there!


dress up

Good Morning!!! I'm naked at the kitchen table, my daughter is still asleep in my bed. She's leaving today for her dads for a couple of days, so last night we slept together and given that I'm the earlier riser, means here I sit, typing on my Blog.

I'm soon to get dressed and head off reluctantly for my mammogram. Today feels like a day that I should treat myself very very well and have patience. With this in mind, I'm going to wear sexy underwear to get my breast checked and then take myself out for a leisurely lunch afterwards.

Once I finally get back home this afternoon, perhaps I'll have some time [and the desire] to write about the new venue that I've just finished securing for Libido Events in 2006 for week day classes.

Tonight I've a date with B over at his house and it's my understanding that we may be playing dress up. Adult role play, oh how, I love to suspend reality to get lost in a bubble of lust, pleasure and imaginations.


Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my fathers death from cancer.

Tomorrow at 11:00am I have an appointment for a mammogram; my left breast has a lump / problem. [again]

For those who have known me for a period, this is not the first time, my left breast, in the exact same spot has been an issue for me. Last time landed me in hospital for 5 days, you can imagine what it must have taken to get me down for that long.

The surgeon has booked me in for January 3rd to discuss what's next.

I have great anger towards my father for a great many injustices. Tomorrow is just a sad reminder of a few of them.

The lack of control that I feel in this situation today is something as a Top I strive to never feel. Which reminds me that I always have the choice of when to bottom and in the situation with my breast & my father, I need to, gain control.


Monday, December 19, 2005

giving thanks

this is the first week day morning my daughter has had to sleep in on now that she is on Christmas holidays. When I enforced regular bedtime last night, she was none too pleased. Following yesterday afternoons very successful birthday bowling party, I knew she was exhausted, so at 9:30 I was tucking her in with a kiss, pulling the covers up tight and turning off her light.

It's almost 10 this morning and she is still soundly asleep and I'm feeling positive about sticking with regular bedtime over the holidays except where necessary to deviate from this due to other great amazing festive holiday plans. Saving this, just sleep. The child is in puberty and is in need of food, sleep, love and support.

Writing in only my robe, curled up on the sofa before a lit Christmas tree in the living room, I'm so grateful for all that I have: family that loves and grows with me, my health and youthfulness, lovers that support and nourish me, a home and a car, a community that supports my efforts as an educator and producer of events, a career and business that are my own and flourishing beyond imagination.

time to go wake the child. (if I want her to go to bed at regular time again tonight then she needs to get up now and keep pace with me for awhile today to tire her some) It'll be a fun day with more build up to her actual birthday and Christmas.

Aside from some private coaching work this week with a couple, I've actually got the whole week off from work outside of the house. It's here at home that I sit quietly adding another 5 workshops to the calendar for January 2006 alone. 2006 is treating me very very well already professionally.


Sunday, December 18, 2005

my daddy, my father & age play

(if you're sensitive to the idea of adult role play (Daddy-little girl) then this post may be too heavy a topic for you and I suggest you read back another day)

my biological father is dead and this week is the anniversary of his death. It's only been two years, so it's fresh still & I'm finding that I'm having some issues surrounding this.

In me is a great amount of Top energy that I put out often however age play is an activity that I engage in heavily and it does provide balance for me.

Despite the name, "age play" it's not something I feel that I'm playing at; it's simply just another part of myself that I choose to express outloud. Two weeks ago I wrote a post in response to a womans [thoughtful yet objective] comments on a message board and here is what I wrote...

I myself have a history of sexual abuse as a young person that is
healed in some areas and still most raw in others.

Today, I am a 33 year old woman, all grown up now. I have a male
partner over the age of 40 who I call Daddy. Why? Because it makes
me feel good and it makes my partner feel good. We choose to have a
consensual relationship involving age/role play.

It's a relationship that is not always turned "on" to the outside
world but to each of us there is almost always something going on that
keeps us conencted as little girl and Daddy.

My Daddy is who I go to share with when I'm scared and not wanting my
partner Jim. I perfer the safety of who my Daddy is for certain
disclosures/ conversations and activities, than to my partner Jim.

My Daddy let's me be little for things that I struggle with and still
need guidance with, perhaps some things that others have already
learned/mastered in their lives but that I never did or never gained
the confidence for.

My Daddy is my support, that even when my partner Jim & I are not
having a good day, my Daddy will always make sure that I feel safe and
not alone in these times.

My Daddy teaches me things way better than Jim does. My Daddy and I
are close because it's with him that I can say no to anything where by
with Jim, because of our D/s life I have no "no" voice as that's what
we've negotiated in our relationship.

Daddy is who I call out for in sex most, because it's my Daddy who has
been the nicest, most trusting, engaging, endearing, empowering Daddy
ever to teach me all that he has. My Daddy today gives me power in
sex and that was not my experience as a child.

My Daddy today has healed some of those parts of me that my Dad, left
destroyed in my childhood.

I enjoy being little, I just don't have a Daddy either women, I
actually get little. Go small. Have a preference for my thumb and
non verbal communication. And it's all trust based between me as a 33
year old grown woman with my relationship partner, that I choose to
call Daddy instead of Jim.

Age play has healed many parts of my life and given me permission to
explore areas that I never thought I'd eroticize.

I love my Daddy and Jim is my Daddy. I'm a very lucky girl...

now perhaps once this anniversary of his death is over with, I'll quit feeling so haunted and get back on track. It's past my bed time now and off I go to sleep...