Friday, June 25, 2010


These last few days have been rather challenging for me. I find myself facing both some family and professional issues that are demanding my attention and making me consider deeply some things I have formerly taken for granted.

Nothing like a slap in the face to rouse one out of the compliant place I've been living in.

The next few days will be spent reassessing my goals and what it is going to take to reach them, should I even still have the strength to work towards them.

What's a girl to do? Except move forward.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Friends Make The World A Better Place

The Lounge was painted today. Finally. And thankfully.

The foyer, the bathroom, bathroom cabinets, and two walls in the main room.

Tomorrow we paint a second coat on, paint the moldings and the kitchen cabinets too.

New equipment over the next two weeks will be added, the projector screen mounted, two partial walls installed and carpet laid.

I arrived today at noon and left at 9:45 at night.

Tomorrow, I'll arrive at 1:30 and hope to be out of there by 7'ish.

I'm exhausted and likely so are all the volunteers who took part. Half of them are returning tomorrow to assist.

We've been desperate to complete these projects and are all thrilled that in not long, most of our plans will be complete.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Daddy and child relationships

It's Father's Day.

Six and a half months ago, Jason became a father for the first time, making today ever so significant for him. That together we created a new life is so important to us as a couple -- it is a dream come true.

Happy Fathers Day my love, you are an incredible daddy and you deserve much happiness.

My own dad? Dead. Gone for years. And it's hard for me to say this, but I have no idea the last time I spoke to him before his death. It had been a number of years. Not the most influential person in my life, yet one of the two people responsible for my having life. So he was important, yet damaging as hell.

I can't say that I miss him my dad. But I can say that I see in Jason and other fathers attributes that I wish my own dad had possessed. No parent can be everything to their child, yet my dad, failed. He failed himself and in that, he failed my brother and myself.

I've called a partner or two Daddy over the years, and its always made the relationship richer and nurtured me in ways that I so longed for.

I call Jason Daddy now and then because I am referring to him as Pickles dad, but not because of a need in me.

It's not my belief that I've outgrown a Daddy girl relationship with my partner. It's just more that I'm so busy being a mommy that finding a way to let myself be that vulnerable again is such a daunting emotional challenge that I am not sure I would ever travel that road again.

It warms my heart to see the love that Jason has for his son and for the teenager. He is the epitome of a perfect Father and I am grateful that we share a life, family, home and love together.