Saturday, December 17, 2005

bring it on

Awoke and spent time being still & savored the quiet of a Saturday morning at home in bed. Up later than usual for me, then made my daughter & I breakfast together once I was able to wake her from her slumber.

Cleaned the house so it would be no effort for me when I returned from work, threw dinner in some marinade, then off I headed for a 7 hour shift of work.

My daughter was at home alone awaiting Jim; once he arrived, the two of them headed off to MetroTown to Christmas shop together for the afternoon without my presence.

I drove straight home from work at days end to find the two of them parking in front of the building and hauling in "the loot" from their shopping trip. What a long day we had all had. Jim was falling asleep on the sofa while dinner cooked.

Late dinner for us together, then the gingersnaps were being decorated to give away as gifts. At work today I'd picked up an assortment of candies and icing to decorate with.

Now with the dishes done, we're watching The Sound Of Music and waiting for bedtime. It's a family night in around here and an early one too.

My folks are here tomorrow from the island for my daughters 12th birthday party. What a celebration day it will be, both with seeing them and the party itself with nine, 12 year olds. A bowling party it is to be! Cake is already made and in the car along with everything else needed or even thought of! All that's left is getting the child there. Her birthday is not for a few more days but as of tomorrow and the party, the festivities begin in this house and will not stop until January 1.

with sleep, love & family, anything feels possible today


Thursday, December 15, 2005

word change

Previously, the trunk in my bedroom was once a beautiful hand crafted hope chest made & given to me by the man I was to marry. (before my whole involvement in sex positive culture started) Great sentimental value to me. Now it is my kinky toy box, complete with lock and it houses and exhorberent amount of adult toys; and not a single piece of linen or dishes. (although there are knives inside ha)

When presented to me originally the hope chest had a plaque on it saying...


"Built By My Hands With Love From My Heart"


Christmas 98

and I had a new one made finally, all these years later to replace the original plaque. This is the quote that now sits on top of my toy box....

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you can not do.

Our relationship ended when he realized as I did that kink and activism were part of my journey and not his or ours.

Not wanting to damage the finish on the trunk nor wanting to loose the touching words once blessed upon me by love, I adhered the new plaque directly over the original to preserve, some of the intent.


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tuesdays goings-on

Had a private consultation with a man this morning at 9:00 and found myself greatly enjoying the chance to share with him what sex positive culture is and how it [could] applies to him and his life. Private coaching is rewarding for me and always for those whom choose to see me. I'm seeing this man again and our path together is professional, my leading, he the student.

Then to the bank for an appointment for half an hour. Over to my daughters school to drop something forgotten off, before heading off to check the post box. Now I'm back home & have phoned work and used a sick day. I'm behind and not wanting to get any further in deep, feel like this is my only way out with a sick day.

Half an hour before my next appointment & here I am typing to my Blog; and then out to the valley to drop something off to a friend. Tonight is GingerBread house making, dinner and readying for tomorrow's school Christmas concert inbetween answering the inbox full of mail awaiting me in my account.

I don't get generic mail, I get the type of mail that people don't send to anyone else, the kind that they type just for my eyes and that requires something from me above and beyond a form letter or an accidental delete to not answer it. I'm your sex activist / your sex educator / your resource, which means that what you need, I'm here for both in person and in email.

Laundry to be done today sometime and I'm still only scratching the surface. That we don't live in our school catchment area means that I play chauffeur both ways, 5 days a week for my 11 old which is a whole other commitment to keep her at school on time and even at all from our lack of proximity.

In an email today, I was listing all the attributes that I don't find attractive in potential play partners. This is what I came up with..... I hate; waste, anything dishonest, disregard, tardiness, stupidity, unethical behavior, rudeness, disobedience, aggressiveness, name dropping, laziness, exaggeration, disorder, gossip, unpreparedness, societal & peer pressure.