Thursday, December 31, 2009

Cock Handling

This job posting was found on Craigs List tonight and was so enticing looking that I thought I would share it here as perhaps someone is in need of work.

Cock handler (Richmond)

Poultry processing plant needs 1 cock handler. Must have experience handling a wide variety of cocks big and small. This is a labour intensive job as you will be on your knees alot and you must have manual dexterity. This is a piece work job if you can handle 50 cocks a day in an 8 hour period you will make good money.

Location: Richmond

Compensation: piece work

This is a contract job.

Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.

Please, no phone calls about this job!

Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1532170679

Monday, December 28, 2009

First Time Having Sex

Christmas afternoon there was sex happening at our house. This likely doesn't come as a surprise to you. It was our "first time" too. The first time we've had sex since the baby has been born and of course, we coined this opportunity as being a "test fuck".

Unsure how it would go, if it would hurt, make me bleed or cause anguishing cramps, we had our romp. So a Test Fuck, with no expectations.

I fed the baby till he was asleep. Jason showered and shaved his boy bits, then set up our lair.

As I entered our bedroom I was met with candles burning on all the flat surfaces. Incense lit and it's warm aroma in the air. The heat turned up to toasty. Sheets pulled back and on the bed, Kama Sutra Honey Dust, chocolate body paint, and lubricant on the bedside table.

From my arms I laid the baby in his bed next to ours and carefully covered him to keep warm. Gently I rubbed his belly to ensure he would not wake up prematurely and interrupt our adult time.

I removed my robe and panties in front of my man as his eyes drank in the sight of me. He told me how beautiful I was, and my mind whirled. Sex with this gorgeous man was about to happen. Excited and aroused he had made me.

I laid out naked on the bed as per his command and a delicate brush swiped over my body putting edible honey dust over me which he licked and nibbled off with greed, yet tenderness.

We kissed, touched and played with each other. The foreplay was sweet and necessary, at least for me. Aroused as I was, I was still nervous.

By the time our bodies melted into each others and we started moving as one, we were both giddily happily. I was safely mounted on top of Jason's manliness and not one stroke caused me any pain. (though some trepidation the first few minutes)

After the orgasms were over we lay spooned together. Breathless. Elated. Reconnected as a couple.

The most amazing reality of our afternoon frolic was that the Pickle cooperated enough to thankfully sleep through our "afternoon delight".

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Bare Breasts

Minutes after our son was born last month he was laid upon my bare chest. The hospital calls this time, Mother and Baby Skin-to-Skin For The First Hour. It is mandatory and it helps with the bonding process between mothers and their newborns.

Pickle was not upon my body more than a minute before he started crying enough for me to offer him my breast.

I looked up at Jason and said "take out my ring". And as quickly as I said those words, I was met with ... "really, are you sure? Don't you want to try with it in?"

Smiling and rather confident I came back with "No. Take it out". Then in one fast motion my right ring was removed from my nipple and thereby was the end of the life of that piece of jewelery.

There was no hesitation, nor regret. Rather an overwhelming feeling of doing the right thing, which brought with it immense satisfaction as I looked down to see our son making his first attempts at nursing.

My nipple slid into his mouth and I was met with the comforting sound of quiet as he found his way to his source of nourishment and love.

It was but a short while later that I had Jason remove the left piercing as well. I had wanted to keep them both in and try to breast feed our little man with them in, yet when it came down to it and he was in my arms, all I wanted to do was feed him, with no barriers in the way.

A few days ago now I handed Jason my jewelry and asked him to try inserting them both back in. He tried and with no luck. We will try again in a few days this time with some lubricant and perhaps a brighter light.

Should the holes close over and I not be able to have the rings put back in, I won't be getting pierced again. My nipple rings were done many years ago, in the beginning of my sexual journey, back when my being a sexual outlaw was still in it's infancy and I was someones slave. I have grown so much since those days, and enough so that my kinkiness is no-longer defined by how many body adornments I have, nor by being a bottom only.

I will say though, that another reason I won't be pierced again in the nipples, is that as I remember it, it just hurt to damn much.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Susie Bright

“Look at her. All over. Linger anywhere you like. When she notices (and she will if you’re really looking), hold her eyes with yours. Hold them close. This is the essence of cruising, the experience that all the virtual reality and phone sex in the world will never replace. It is also the moment of truth. You’ll know then and there whether she wants you or not.”

Susie Bright (B. 1958) American writer, editor

Tuesday, December 22, 2009


Two highlights of my day. First, the Pickle went to Home Depot without me, Jason wore him in a Snuggly.

Secondly I managed to take a few fairly decent photos of the little man in a festive setting.

As of this evening I have started to catch up on over due phone calls. The list is long, but hey, I can talk while seated with a child in my arms, nursing at my breast.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Weekend Antics

Some general updates just so you don't think I've neglected writing or my commitment to my blog.

This weekend was rather peaceful, all things considered. The whole family being home bound and all was rather nice.

Friday we went to Richmond and bought the baby a second stroller. A smaller one for quick jaunts and that fits easily into the back of the Jeep. It is fantastic and we had some color choices so we ended up with a great apple green one. Thanks David and M for the awesome gift card, it went to something perfect and we are really grateful for your kindness. The store was amazing too. It took everything out of me to make the trek to the mall and I promptly fell asleep in the vehicle on the way home.

Also Friday afternoon the hospital called and I return on the 29th for yet another IV and another MRI. Hopefully at the end of this appointment the Infectious Disease doctor will have a plan of attack for how to deal with my infection in my jaw. We know already what they think they will end up doing yet are hopeful a secondary and less intrusive plan of fixing everything can be found.

Saturday was all about napping. I napped and Jason took care of the Pickle. This was greatly needed, the nap that is. I was starting to feel like a zombie. Then I had a nice hot bath which made me feel almost human again. Finally we spent the latter part of the evening wrapping Christmas presents and hanging out with the teenager, then we were in bed by ten PM.

Today has been a wee bit rushed, but well worth it. We spent the entire afternoon over at a friends home where they made us lunch and we hung out talking for hours. Kinky friends are the best, specifically because there is no need to hide any facet of ones self. We spent four hours catching up, the time just flew on by and having people cook us a meal was extra nice for a change.

By the time we got home in the pouring rain, it was all we could do to get into our robes and set ourselves in front of the TV. I made us a fast dinner and then with the teenager joining us we watched Inglorious Bastards, what an incredible movie. Not one I would have chosen to watch on my own, but yet after seeing it, so glad that I did. Magnificent.

So yeah, our weekend contained enough activity to leave us as new parents exhausted. The Pickle is sweet, lively and definitely no where near ready to being on a schedule of any sort. I am attempting to get myself back on some sort of routine, yet am finding it difficult.

It is hard to believe the babe is 3 weeks old today.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Balancing Act

I am making a valiant effort to accomplish both business items and personal tasks over the next few days. It can be said that I am a wee bit behind on my responsibilities, despite my best efforts to remain on the ball.

Over the next 24 hours, I plan on completing a To-Do list that has about fifty items on it. In between napping and breastfeeding that is.

It is proving to be a challenge to get back to my over achiever routine.  Though it can be done, and it will be done.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Handsome Pickle

Here is a snapshot taken in Photo Booth on my Mac earlier this evening.

Some time in the not so distant future, I will stop posting photos of the Pickle here on my blog, for his privacy and for ours.  In the mean time, enjoy the baby pictures.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

More of Me

I have not found the drive to resume regular blogging.

If interested in what's going on in my life, you can follow my Twitter account for mini multiple updates each day.

My Twitter account can be seen by looking down the right hand side column on my blog home page for the large blue box.

Or by going to my Twitter account directly.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009


I have been meaning to Blog for a number of days now, yet I continue to lack the follow through necessary to publish anything.

It is not that I am short on content, time to write or even the desire, it is more that I feel as though any point at which I start writing again, will be not right.

I could write about our birth experience, being sick in hospital, family coming to stay over and visit, friends coming out of the woodwork, the holiday season, being a new mother again, setting up Libido Lounge for the second time, creating new events for our new space, or simply how life has changed. Yet none of these topics has made me want to write and share.

There are though a few points that I would like to clear up.

When I blog or Twitter and you read what I have written, know that I deliberately chose what to tell you and what to leave out. If I wanted more information on the net, I would put it here. Otherwise be aware that the details I give you, are all that I want to. Don't ask for more, that would be rude and handing out more information goes against my better judgement.

When I blog or Twitter it is because I so choose, not because I feel compelled to do so. I don't write for noteriety, fame or approval, I do it to record my own experiences for myself, and to give a little of my life to those who are interested.

When I blog or Twitter, I am not writing to you personally. No matter who you are. Unless I preface a post with your name, my musings are general and not specific to you.

If you learn something about me from my writings, consider very carefully whether or not, you should ever be commenting on it. In person or by writing me. Particularly men, most things of a personal nature are there for you to ponder but NOT to comment or act upon.

I have no inner circle, so attempting to gain access to my life by following everything I do, attend, write about and post makes you look like a stalker and not like a friend. No matter how you may try to convince me otherwise.

Do not show up in my life unannounced, do not write me personal emails involving me in your life, do not ask to know details about my family. I give up information to those I befriend, not to those who demand intimate details on my personal life.

I am a very private person. It may not seem as such to you due to what I do for a career, or what you read about me, but when I am not at work, I am joyfully locked away at home. I let few people in close, and I enjoy it this way. I've spent to long in my life being surrounded by tons of people and attention, my preference is for the quieter moments of home and family.

Don't read any of this the wrong way.  I want to hear from you, from people.  I just wish that certain people would consider how they appear to me as they try to find a way into my world.  I am flattered that people care for me, that they read my words and follow my work and journey.  It's friends and supporters like you that make my life so blessed, so please, if you write me respectfully and personally about things I have written, please continue to do so.  If you do not receive a comment back, consider that you may have crossed a line.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Diagnostic Tools

My fast tracked MRI has been scheduled for today to diagnose and isolate my jaw and tooth infection.   (remnants of the torturous wisdom tooth extraction 7 weeks ago) Today is day 8 of twice a day IV therapy for this disaster. 

The combination of labor & delivery coupled with this crippling pain in my head is enough to have me feeling like shit and as though the suffering will never end.

Jason hasn't left the hospital since we arrived Saturday.  We have a private room with a cot in it, which means Jason has even been sleeping over, in fact, he's been sleeping with the baby.  Baby is doing awesome and eating well. 

Due to the contrast dye given to me for the MRI, I have to pump out all my milk for 24 hours and throw it away.  This means that we're feeding the baby with an eye dropper, and giving him milk that I pumped for him before the dye was administered.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Proud Parents

After a ridiculously intense final 6 weeks of pregnancy, and horrible labor "The Pickle" was born at 5:51 AM Sunday November 29th.  

He weighed in at 8 pounds and 6 ounces and emerged after a thankfully short period of pushing. Our daughter and Jason were both there holding my legs and being supportive, it was quite the moment of exhilaration, love and effort.

The Pickle entered the world quietly, without any noise or crying and it caused some alarm. Suffice to say, his lungs eventually cleared and all was well.  

Sunday, November 29, 2009


Our labor room, was really rather nice, all things considered.  Potted plants, huge tub, large oak mirror, comfy chairs, private large bathroom .... quiet, all the bells and whistles of comfort.

I labored in this tub for quite some time, pretty much until the nurse told me she needed me to get in the bed for a check.   Then once on the bed, I was without the strength necessary to return to the tub.  Things were really intense at this point. Though, they got much much worse as time progressed.  

Saturday, November 28, 2009

"Induction Day"

This photo was taken on my walk around the hospital after they had broken my water,  given me some drugs to ripen my cervix and bring on the contractions.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Childbirth & Medical Disasters

To bring you all up to speed.

This week I have been a day patient at our local hospital, twice daily admitting myself day and night for IV therapy. 8 AM and 8 PM.

I was in ER, with a horrible infection that appears to be in my jaw bone, and is from having my wisdom teeth removed last month .. the pain, swelling and nausea are overwhelming.

The answer to this medical crisis when one is as pregnant as I am (38 weeks) is twice daily IV therapy of antibiotics, administered through a catheter left in my arm so they do not need to be endlessly poking me. And to offer some comfort, Morphine and Demerol as pain killers - though these have side effects that are harsh and unavoidable.

A couple of days ago the main water line to our new house burst. Just throwing this out there so you can see how timing has conspired against us as of late.

This morning we saw our Obstetrician, and tomorrow morning at 9 AM I am being induced. This means we should have our son by some point later in the afternoon or early evening.

I'll be in hospital for a few days, both recovering from childbirth, but also remaining on IV therapy.

Then on Monday I am booked (in hospital) to see an Infectious Disease Doctor/Expert after I have an MRI of my head to determine the depth of the infection to my jaw and head.

This evening I return to the hospital again for IV therapy and the rest of my day today is being spent puking, trying not to stress out to much and of course doing all the little loose ends around our home that need tending to. Oh and if I can, getting in some napping time.

It's been a wild ride these past 9 months, though these past 4 months have been more difficult than even imaginable.

I have tried my best to accomplish everything within my power and this has caused me more stress than necessary.

If by chance we need to touch base for some reason, know that it likely won't be happening over the next while.

One email being sent to my email account is all that is necessary to capture my attention.

I'll respond as soon as I can.

While laboring tomorrow, you can keep up with our progress on Twitter.

That's it for now, it is tub time for me now.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Breathing Space

Thirty eight weeks pregnant today.

If I owe you a phone call or an email, forgive me as you'll not be hearing from me for awhile. I am drugged on morphine and demerol and taking twice daily antibiotics into my arm.

I am a day patient in the hospital this week on IV therapy.

Tomorrow we see the OB and get our induction date.

Please stop phoning, please stop emailing. We know who we need to contact but both Jason and I need to be left alone right now and are tired of emptying our phones and email accounts of repetitive messages. Once is enough thanks.

(the emails of support are sweet and most welcome, but again, please just one note is enough)

If you are someone who thinks we should be contacting you ... then relax, and wait for us to do so when we can, we have not forgotten about you. We are prioritizing our energy and commitments currently.

We are at end of our rope, and the end of this pregnancy.

This request is for all family, friends and otherwise special people in our lives. Please respect our need for some space right now - my health is not well and we are trying to get things under control before the baby arrives.

Medically we won't be sharing what's happening, just know that it is enough to turn our lives upside down. This, coupled with the fact that our main water line into our house burst yesterday morning.

Turmoil and it is all out of our control.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Sexual Prowess

It takes a lot of skill, thoughtfulness and effort to be a good lover. Most anyone can screw or fuck someone, but to be a lover requires a finesse, a dedication to the "art of loving."

Over the years it has become painfully obvious to me through watching others engage in sex and listening to people discuss their sex lives, that so many are not completely satisfied with their intimate time. They crave more, yet do not have the vocabulary or the skill set to teach another how to please them.

People want exhilarating sex, they want to be caught up in the throes of passion and to feel the wild rush of euphoria wash through their body that only happens when sex is spontaneous, engaging and varied.

Anyone can do the same techniques time and time again, and we all know it then gets boring and predictable. It may get you off but it sure is not rewarding, nor bonding, nor toe curling or earth shaking.

Many people I speak to want to be considered great lovers, either by their relationship partners, or their one night stands. They want to be revered as excellent lovers and they want the delight that comes from being able to give their partner their undivided sensual attention.

Are you a lover who is caught in a rut, unsure how to create new and memorable experiences between you and your partner? You can fix this without grave difficulty, you just need the willingness to explore some unfamiliar territory, be willing to listen and able to spend more time creating that hunger within your hunger.

Are you a lover with something to share, even the simplest single suggestion is valuable here.

Here is what I need from you.

Drop me an email to jennifer@libidoevents, with the subject line "Lover". In the email tell me if you are a man or a woman and whether or not you make love to men or women.

Then tell me your favorite sexy techniques you engage in as foreplay, mental play or sex play to wow your partner.

I am *not* looking for sex positions, rather for ideas on how you ensure your partner is well taken care of sexually as a whole body experience during your play time. Give me examples.

You can also tell me what you have enjoyed having down to you that has made your intimate time all that more special and spectacular.

I am currently working on a special project and this information will go along ways to ensuring a vast number of people will become more thoughtful and proactive lovers.

Remember, what goes around, comes around. Share your tidbits and help make bedrooms across the country happier and more orgasmic.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Moving Mountains

The man in my life loves me so much, so unconditionally and without fail. It feels so overwhelming to be cared for so well and to know that no matter what, he is there for me. Always by my side, and on my side. I can't help but feel unworthy of such greatness when it comes from such a generous, intelligent and handsome fella.

Earlier today we hit a mall and I did some holiday shopping while my guy went and had his hair cut. I tired out rather quickly though and ended up needing to sit and eat frozen yogurt with my very swollen feet elevated. Contractions were happening regularly, yet of course, not with enough frequency to convince me or any doctor for that matter that I was in real labor.

A stop at Ikea went so fast it is hard to believe possible. We ran in and back out with only needing a curtain rod and new curtains for the babies room and we had success in finding exactly what we needed with rapid speed.

We went Christmas grocery shopping next and spent HUNDREDS of dollars - it was necessary and certainly needed. Particularly because I can't fathom shopping for food with a new born in the cold and hustle bustle of the month of December. This heinous task was now out of the way.

By the time we arrived home late in the afternoon it was already black outside, the teenager helped us unload our exploding vehicle of all the purchases stuffed inside of it.

Jason hemmed the new curtains and hung them, I put away all the food, then my man erected our Christmas tree right in the middle of the living room. Incredible.

This whole nesting process yields amazing results when we all work together.

And now we are about to munch of some snacks while watching a movie rental.

Good night.

Saturday, November 21, 2009


As you may already have likely figured out, we have affectionately named our soon to be son "pickle".

With this information in mind, we are really hoping to find something in particular to compliment the season and our sons nickname.

We are looking for "pickle" Christmas tree ornaments. Have you seen any? Where?

If you see one, pick it up for us please. This is exactly what we want for the little guys first ever Christmas.

Friday, November 20, 2009


Last night was parent teacher interviews at the teenagers school. We went. It was a worthwhile thing to do, as we are rather invested in her success.

According to at least one of her teacher, I look phenomenal for being eight and a half months pregnant and yet another teacher applauded my ability to stand in line for so long to see her.

Oh if they only knew how much I am suffering and am faking it.

I was so gleeful when we arrived home. Clothes off and robe on, drugs in me and heating pad on my back. There are few comforts right now that make a difference to my physical and emotional state, family being the biggest most supportive one.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Matters of the Heart

It has been quite awhile since I've fallen head over heels in love with someone that I had not been in a dating and serious relationship with.

As I recall, when I was younger, love came crashing down hard into my life and heart. Regularly and with lightening speed.

I could see someone casually a few times and suddenly feel the overwhelming intoxication of love course through my veins.

Relationships were shorter lived back then, but damn they were intense. From beginning to end.

This past decade I have fallen hard in love a number of times. Not a number of times each year, rather a number of times over the decade.

And lucky for me each person I have loved has equally loved me in return.

No one has not handed me their heart after I have confessed my feelings for them. Each person who confided their love of me to me, has also always been rewarded with my love in return.

There have been no "one directional" feelings not reciprocated. I have been fortunate in matters of the heart.

It has not been all easy, some of my heart throbs have hurt me, and I have broken a few hearts myself after awhile. Yet each person I shared that level of intimacy with, I've been committed to in some way for a fairly long period of time.

Short term romantic relationships where love is involved don't fall into my lap any more. And I am thankful for this. There is just not the time for me to maintain such a connection with someone.

Those who have my heart are all strong individuals who know how I feel about them, regardless of how often I see them.

I am blessed though to have found more recently the ability to differentiate between romantic, lustful, familial and friendship love. When I was younger, it was all rolled up into one package. The benefit to being able to share and celebrate all these different forms of love is of course that I am able to be more loving with more people, without having to make sacrifices of self or time.

How do you define love? Who is entitled to your love? Who do you accept love from? Is love something you have in abundance or an emotion with a limited supply?

The more I love, the more love that is handed to me.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


I never, ever, ever, ever ever, EVER want to be pregnant again.

I hate it.

I can't stand for a moment longer how horrible I feel and the demands this period of time has put on my body. I am physically and emotionally drained.

Medically I have a list of woes that are getting more complicated every 48 hours, yet not-quite-bad-enough to warrant inducing me as of yet. (but I was promised if I was still in such a bad way at 38 weeks, the doctor would induce then)

I see now that I took on too much being pregnant at 37 years old, still working waaaay more than full time, existing as a functioning adult and moving a business. It was a dumb mistake on my behalf.

But I have suffered enough and I can't fake it any longer. Sorry folks, this sucks the big one. I am a wreck.

My sleep is horrible, the edema out of control, my ability to walk is hampered, heart burn that is a killer, my pelvic floor feels like a ton of bricks are laying on it, my stomach is constantly nauseous, difficulty breathing and the list goes on and on. Trust me when I say, that I've not even shared the intimate body/medical problems I am suffering with.

Tomorrow I see the Obstetrician, and again I will walk into his office and beg for relief. I have also canceled the rest of my days appointments so that I can sleep in, keep my feet up and do nothing much of anything. Other than rest that is.

Should the doctor not see things my way, it is possible that I may utter threats that I could easily follow through with. I do have plenty of supportive friends, you know?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Hitatchi Orgasm

Still pregnant and not feeling well.

Though today I did muster up strength to turn on my Hitatchi and grind myself onto its end for a powerful, long over due orgasm.

When Jason came home from work and saw the toy and a bottle of warming lubricant laying on the bed his eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning.

I feel better for the orgasm, but no more horny.

Once this child is out of me, I can't wait to resume my otherwise bountiful sex life.

Monday, November 16, 2009

Wee Hours

I awoke at two this morning with a tummy ache severe enough to keep me up till now. Currently is it five forty five. Not my usual hours that is for certain, but hey I am working hard at not complaining and only stating the obvious.

For those of you playing along at home I am 37 weeks pregnant this Wednesday and have had a rough time with this pregnancy. It started out joyful enough, though since August has been quite difficult.

These past few weeks have been exceptionally hard on me and not assisting matters is the fact that I took way more on work-wise than I should have. Some huge projects, moving our business and a few other tasks that were, and are rather labor intensive.

My unwillingness to take any of my prescribed drugs for the purpose of pain management means that I am awake, and awake means that I bake. Currently in the oven is a nice big tray of delicious brownies. When Jason gets up for work shortly he is going to take one whiff of the house, and think I have lost my mind.

Oh well, I want a hot fresh brownie and I am going to have one.

After rambling yesterday about needing some updates done on the website regarding the new facility, I decided to out source the job. I emailed someone a few hours ago and asked this person if they could do it for me. I am rather proud of myself for doing this.

My plan for today is rather lofty. Dare I say I have so much to do that it requires a list for me to complete it all and not forget anything, I do believe that before I go anywhere, I should nap for a few hours first.

It's rather amusing watching me drive. I like my seat very close to the steering wheel, and well, my belly is now in the way. Plus I am unable to sit in one position for more than five minutes before the right side of my back cramps up severely. This means that I am contorted sideways while driving, as well as driving single handed so I can push my fist into the knot in my back for some brief relief. Driving is not something I am doing much of this past while, but today I must. Wish me luck.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

The Game of Life

Sunday is supposedly the day of rest. Wish it was true that I feel refreshed after having spent the whole day at home in my robe after a late sleep in and now hours on the sofa.

Alas, it is not the case. I am still exhausted, edema filled and in pain. The medical issues I am currently faced with are rather daunting and personal, yet as you can likely tell are taking their toll on me.

There is much work to complete on my professional website to update it with information on our new facility, event offerings and a ton of other relevant data now that we have moved.

Perhaps this is a good time to get this underway. Or maybe I will delegate the task to a willing volunteer who would happily take this on and get it done promptly for me thus minimizing my stress level. Delegation is not my strong point, I tend to take on too much for me own good, but have been reminded lately by friends and medical professionals that this type of behavior is not serving me, and rather harming me.

Every move takes so much out of me lately, that I have had to plot my actions to ensure I have the energy levels to function doing the bare minimum of what is necessary in life. Getting this baby out of me should help alleviate much of my physical discontent thankfully.

The man is working today, rare for a Sunday. But hey it's overtime and with time off in his not so distant future, he took the opportunity to put in some extra hours. The teenager has been away all weekend doing something super cool and elite, and she is due home shortly. I can't wait to have everyone back so we can catch up together and share a meal.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Friday, November 13, 2009

Jewelry Change: Clitoral Hood

My clitoral hood jewelry has been causing me some physical angst. It was never really the correct size for my hood being too short, making it a tight fit. My clit. hood is of an above average length, and so much so that no local piercer had a piece actually big enough, so the proper one would need to be special ordered.

It's been a year since I had my hood pierced and Jason had his PA put in. I've grown tired and sore lately from the ill fitting barbell laying alongside my clitoris. Especially since edema has swollen my pelvic floor and made it an excruciatingly evident reality that it needs to be changed.

For the last while I have even complained about it loudly enough that a friend went and ordered me a new piece of jewelry of a new shape (a banana) and a better length to make me happy.

The new piece has been either in my purse or on top of my dresser for about two months now and I have yet to get around to having someone put it in me.

Remembering of course that with the size of my pregnant belly, I have not been able to locate my own vulva in some time and can only see the jewelry while laying on the floor in front of a mirror.

An hour ago after getting out of the tub, I spread my legs for my guy and had him put in the new piece. Oh, the sweet relief of having that tight bit of stainless steel out of me and replaced with something more suitable for pleasure and aesthetics.

Thanks MN, the gift is in place and already making me happier.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

In the crowds

The Taboo Sex Show always is a big work period in my calendar year and in classes of mine are usually some extraordinary people that I run into who come as a surprise.

First off we had Jason's mother. She came to visit from the island to do some city shopping and to take in the show itself along with my bondage, cock sucking and hand jobs class. She wasn't a surprise attendee, rather her response to my educating was so surprising.

Let me tell me you, it was an surreal experience to have my mother in law in the very front row of classes with me. To look out into the audience and to feel her eyes on me. I was fairly certain she was not assessing the size of my pregnant belly, but rather drinking in every last drop of information I was putting out there. The bondage class was innocuous enough to lead with her present, but the oral sex class, now that had me twitching just a wee bit.

In the oral on him class, I make many many references to blowing Jason and giving him hand jobs, as he is my main inspiration these past years. So imagine what it is like to talk to a few hundred people on stage about licking your mans balls, and nibbling his cock, making him beg for more and swallowing his cum while being stared at by your mother in law. No joke.

I felt it to be in my best interest to alert my attentive audience that she was in the front row, and she did not even blush. Her composure unchanged she took the applause and gasps in stride and remained riveted as I went on to teach for the next thirty minutes on such an inspiring topic.

When the class ended, dare I recall wrong, but I actually think she was glowing a little. I know why she wanted to be in that class particularly and I am amazed at her tenacity and conviction. I also know that since she left for home, she has written me to tell me how much it pleases her to know her son is happy and well taken care of with me.

Family love and bonding, what a unique environment for it. Could you have such a conversation with your mother in law about orally pleasuring her son (your man)? I could and did, and feel stronger for it.

Then there was my Butt Sex and Anal Pleasures class that I taught, it went remarkably well, especially given that the crowds were so severe that every seat was taken, people were on the floor all around the stage blocking the aisles and corridors to catch whatever they could that I was offering on the topic. At the end of this half hour class, a line up formed as many wanted to offer praise or ask a quick question.

Near the end of the line was a woman who I recognized immediately. My daughters Girl Guide Leader. "Enjoying the show" I asked? Her response "yes, it's quite amazing." "Did you see my name and decide to stop in my workshop room and say hello?" "Oh no", she replied, "I came to take the class and was able to catch the whole workshop". I smiled and nodded, all the while thinking how remarkable it is to teach the Girl Guide leader of my daughter, how to engage in sexy, healthy, and hot butt sex after she had done so much to teach my child about camping, being a friend, and of course being a good citizen.

It feels good to know that we all do our part to make the world a better place.

Of course as usual, and as happens each year, I ran into plenty of others who were surprised at finding me in front of the masses. It always leaves me in awe, that not only is most everyone interested in sex education, but they are almost always caught off guard at who teaches them what they know.

Glad it's me.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Crash, Boom, Bang

Orgasms have not washed over my body in a couple of weeks. I can not muster the desire nor the strength to go there.

It may strike you as odd that me, the woman that coaches many thousands of people every year on having a successful sex life has been to run down to have my own needs met.

It's true though, life can either be on your side or against you now and again when it comes to being sexual.

As of late, life has been against me, my pregnancy has reeked havoc on my body, and pleasure has been the last thing on my mind for myself.

Now and again I have a fleeting moment where I think an orgasm would be most welcome, then I realize it would take what little strength I have to make it happen, and my energy is best kept in reserves right now, because any moment I could need it for labor and delivery.

I spent the weekend (Thursday to Friday) leading ten classes to literally thousands of people on having a more fulfilling sex life and I did so to great acclaim. And as each class ended, it took all my energy to get off the stage and catch my breath.

This pregnancy feels like it will never end, and yet I am desperate to have it over with. Not just because I want an orgasm but because the ongoing medical issues are becoming so over-the-top that it feels as though I will never be the same woman again.

And yet, I know all of this to be not true. I know it will take some time, but that I will regain my desire, my body shape and my energy levels. In the mean time though, I find it difficult to watch others have such an easy time of life and self.

I am struggling, and it is with all honesty that I share this with you all. I know to some degree how so many of you view me. Super woman is the term regularly used to describe me. Well, my cape is ripped, and it's going to take awhile to repair. Excuse me while I tend to it, as you can imagine how important it is to me.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Supporting this Pregnant Woman

If you have the desire to do something for our soon to be born son or for our family here are a couple of options for you.

1. Look over our Baby Registry and see if you can find something their that you would like to gift us with.

2. Cook for us. We have a huge deep freeze and having it filled with precooked meals for our family would be of huge benefit to us. We are not picky eaters: meat dishes, soups, lasagnas and non spicy foods are most welcomed and truth be told, baked goods would make the family happy and would really please me as well. Don't forget we also have a teenager so meals should be made for three adults with healthy appetites.

3. Send cards and notes of well wishes to:

PO Box 28578
4050 Hastings Street
Burnaby BC
Canada V5C 6J4

Thank you to everyone who has thus far been so supportive and kind. The baby is still in me and yes, we are more than ready to get him out. Now if he would just appear, it would alleviate much of the stress, pain and angst I (we) have been plagued with these past few weeks.

Saturday, November 07, 2009

Soon to Erupt




Canceling two of my classes today and only doing the 8 and 10 PM ones.

Spending the afternoon napping and attempting to catch my breath.

Friday, November 06, 2009

Half Way Over Now

Day Two of Taboo is complete and another three classes went off fantastically for me. I could not have done it all though without the help of Sheryl and Jason - kudos to you both for your tireless support of me today and yesterday.

My legs from just above the knees down to each toe on each foot look not only unfamiliar, but oddly misshapen. They are also in great discontent. This, despite the fact that I wore flat shoes all day and taught from a leather sofa and when not teaching was sitting on said sofa with my legs elevated.

We are home and in good spirits, as the day was successful. But with all sincerity I am so tired I could cry and all I want is to be rid of back and leg pain.

Tylenol 3's are what I have been using to manage but these are wreaking havoc on my digestive track now.

Two days of the show left, I've made it now to the half way point.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Survived .... barely

Day 1 of Taboo is over.

I could cry right about now, but that would take more energy than I have available.

So instead I am going to bed.

I need to lay flat for a long time, both to sleep and recuperate and to get the edema to go down in my legs.

Tomorrow is already fast approaching and I can't say at this moment that I'm looking forward to it.

Perhaps a good rest will change my perspective.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Head Down and Engaged

It's madness around our house today. I had an appointment to get highlights in my hair at the unheard of hour of nine thirty in the morning. Then by eleven I was at the printers picking up my handouts for Taboo. At twelve thirty, I was over at the seamstress's house packing the oversize genitalia into my vehicle.

At one thirty I was at my Obstetricians, where he told me that the little fellow is now head down and engaged. This means, I am ready to go into labor AT-ANY-TIME-NOW. Dear god this is all happening fast.

Then by two thirty I was back home unloading the Jeeps contents into our foyer, and stuffing a sandwich into myself for some nourishment. Spent an hour on the computer, then went to the bank and the grocery store for a spice I needed for tonight's dinner.

At four thirty I was laid out naked aside from my panties while my registered massage therapist started our forty five minute session of her working out the knots in my pregnant and stressed body.

Home by five forty five, where by I cooked dinner, then had a bath. Then for the last few hours, I have been packing my class teaching bags for tomorrow's two classes and one main stage show.

I lack the skill set necessary to do nothing and find it difficult to even slow down. This is a bad trait and one I wish I did not possess. I'm an over achiever.

Jason's mom arrives tomorrow and will be at Taboo. Her plan is simple: shop, hang out, and take in every thing that I am hosting.

The show does not open till five at night, but we need to arrive early in order to set up. Plus this is when I do so much networking, before the shoppers arrive and when it is only the business owners.

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Deflated Testicle

Thanks Karen, for solving my truck needed situation from yesterday. It's great to be surrounded by so many wonderful supportive friends. You and your family are amazing.

*** *** *** *** ***

This morning I awoke to a crisis email. The seamstress designing my massive vulva and penis teaching aides, wrote to say that overnight, one of the testicles had become deflated.

I just bought the two (squishy bouncy) balls last week at Toy's R Us, and already one is deflated. Apparently with a slow leak. Not good at all. Plus the seamstress had already put them inside the scrotum, so more work to get them out, and new ones in.

So I was at Walmart early this morning to purchase more balls. And given the dimensions of the completed penis, I was told I could go up a size, so I bought two 10 inch testicles, rather than the 8 inch ones previously. More proportionate.

The original balls, were swirly blue. Irrelevant the color due to them being covered in batting and inside a scrotum. None-the-less amusing that blue balls were used for such a purpose.

This time round, the store had no plain balls in the size needed. I ended up purchasing Disney printed balls. Ready for it ... I ended up with two Tinker Balls. So when you see me using my new aides, you'll know that the testicles are actually Tinkerbell balls.

It is oddly perverse and amusingly enough, just another example of how extraordinary my life is.

Monday, November 02, 2009

Make a Woman Happy

Too much going on. So much so that my weekly To-Do List is currently a list of Must Complete Today items.

The most pressing item on my mind at this moment that needs problem solved....

Want to help me with something and make me smile all at once.

Do you have a truck? Can it be borrowed on Thursday morning for a few hours?

I have swag and perks to offer. (gas money, free tickets to Taboo, and a few other nuggets)

Please oh pretty please. Email me if possible. We need to move a few Libido Lounge items from our facility to downtown Vancouver for The Taboo Sex Show.


Sunday, November 01, 2009


Yesterday it took eleven people four hours and twenty two minutes to move Libido Lounge from it's original home, to its new home. A fair bit of work but with so many enthusiastic helpers what looked like it could have been a daunting task was for the most part ... easy. Note that I use the word "easy" as a pregnant woman who did not move a single thing, and who basically just directed.

Two years in our first place of business and now a new place to call our own for the next three years. Pretty damn impressive, wait till you check it out for yourself.

The changes are huge....

Ceiling height a few floors high, so just call the height "massive".
Dedicated carpeted office space, separate from the event space completely.
Concrete floors.
Loading bay doors
A lobby/check in area
Fully wheel chair accessible
A kitchen.
Event areas have 2 painted black walls, and another in stone concrete.
Free parking
Close to Sky Train, 1.5 blocks
A mezzanine
Heat and air conditioning
Alarm system
More than double our previous sq. footage

There will be renewals happening and due for many of our members as they first arrive to the new Lounge. Your renewal rate is $25 for 1 year and without making this payment in cash first you will not permitted inside past the lobby. This amount will be due on top off whatever event fee you will be charged for that current dates offering.

Each member will be made to sign a waiver with our new location on it and the current date, this will be valid for one year. There are a few updates to membership information for members to note:

1. there are no in and out privileges at any of our events, for any reason
2. zero tolerance for poor treatment of other members or drama

3. no (flannel) robes or boxer shorts for men at any party
4. no outside food or drinks permitted
5. no personal electronics of any variety
6. no conversations about any illegal activity
7. we reserve the right to refuse membership & guest privileges to anyone at our discretion
8. failure to be appropriately dressed will have you refused entry

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Last Event at Lounge #1

Last nights Sensual Massage Event was the last offering at our old facility. And it was a grand success, with twenty people gathered together to give and get attention. The groups I put everyone in worked out fantastically, the flow of how the event ran was smooth, the conversations were lively and all the attendees were super social with one another.

It is a balancing act on my behalf to ensure everyone's comfort, lay out excellent ground rules, and maintain a good group dynamic. It always leaves me pleased as punch to watch people stretch their own boundaries, overcome anxieties and fears, meet new friends, try something never before experienced AND have a great time while doing it all.

When asked by someone how they could have my job, it was an honest answer when I said few people could do what I do. It is not bragging either, it is just that my job, career what have you, takes a unique skill set and one that I rarely see in another. After a decade of doing all that I do, I can only assume that I make the extraordinary look easy to those observing. Yet for those of you who know me well, you know of the struggles and the behind the scenes stuff that challenges my enjoyment of my path.

If you've been around my life or world over the last number of years, say five or so, you have seen enormous growth professionally and personally for me. Well the next three plan is going to leave you breathless, watch me, watch Libido Events and Libido Lounge GROW.

Your support of me and my vision is what keeps me going strong. And hey, thanks for sharing in my journey.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Waxing a Man

As I rummaged through my iPhoto archives, I had to laugh as I ran across these photos of Jason. I snapped these the first time I took him to be professionally waxed. It hurt like hell, that much was obvious from watching his contorting body and hearing his screams. But again, even looking at the photos, I am still laughing.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

More hours in a day please

My plan for today was to deal with an assortment of issues that have been demanding my attention.

Next week Thursday - Sunday is The Taboo Sex Show and this year I am the lead educator. With this pressing project before me I have a lot on my plate on a tight schedule.

Currently I am working at packing my teaching bags for each of my ten classes, this task requires much forethought and planning. Also I am writing out my attendee handouts for the thousands of people who will be in class with me, and cross checking these with my corporate sponsor to ensure proper product placement.

There is a small boat load of swag in our house, and trying it all out before the show is critical so I am able to best offer feedback on each item and refer people to the appropriate new products.

The handouts for the show still need to be proofed, formatted and sent of to the printers. I'll just add this job to the list of things still not complete. I'm grateful though to have L. who just whips these into shape for me in no time. (after I send her the data, and yes darling, I'm getting close)

Shopping for more fabric and accessories for the massive vulva and penis was most successful, the highlight being that I purchased the testicles today. Luckily I even managed to drop everything off to the wonder-woman charged with assembling and making these creations from my verbal cues.

A stop at my doctors office had my left arm with an H1N1 vaccination and the right arm with the flu shot in it. Getting this done was a huge relief.

The post box was full and I just stuffed its contents into my purse and left fast, because the bank across the street also needed to see me.

As it was raining and it coincided with my traveling home, I made myself into Super Mom and picked up the teenager from school today. She was most happy to see me. 1. because I normally don't pick her up and 2. because her school had a bomb threat two hours before so they had been locked in the gym, phones off and scared shitless as the bomb squad marched the hallways and rooms with bomb sniffing dogs.

Came home to push paper, and make my way through all the mail. A Purolator package needs to still be picked up tomorrow and I need to return to the bank, but for the most part, most things that were truly pressing were taken care of today.

Tomorrow I'll be packing The Lounge, running the Sensual Massage Night and if the stars line up in heaven, napping between these two big things.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

It's My Big Day

Thirty seven years ago today I entered this world as what I will assume was an innocent baby.

Today is my birthday and I am celebrating with family, sleep, orgasms and a day at home. A day with no where to be, this really excites me and this is deliberately planned. Today I celebrate my loss of innocence over the years and how my life has led me here.

This year though is unique, I am pregnant again and anxious to bring this new being into the world. Today I am also thirty four weeks pregnant.

The changes in my life this past year have been momentous, and have filled me with a great feeling of awe for the wonder of life and all its possibilities.

In not so recent years, I have had some run ins with life itself that were not the most positive and that left me wondering if I could or would ever be happy with myself or the world as a whole.

My upbringing and background being despair, hurt, loneliness, failure, distrust, confusion and want of things not possible at that time. It's painful to even think back on it all.

It pleases me to be able to report back to the youthful me that it has all become ok. The struggles and pain were worth it, the growing up necessary and the hardships paid back ten-fold.

I can't say that I would want to repeat my childhood, youth or my early twenties, but my thirties have thus far been more than even I could have dreamed possible. So much goodness.

Today I am surrounded by family in all its glorious forms, love, friendship, success, peace, ambition, bounty and grandness. It is only imaginable that I give thanks.

Thank you universe for allowing me to hang on long enough to discover the joy of life, I am excited for the coming years, though I am happily live in the moment today.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Day in Review


Awoke 7 AM. Not planned, yet it happened.
Computer work 7 - 9:30
Costco 10:00
Printers 10:30 - 10:45
Canada Post 11:15 - 11:45
Court House / Drop off Evidence Package 12:30 - 1:00
City Hall 1:30 - 1:45
Pick up and gobble down Subway sandwich 2:00
Arrive to Massage Therapist 2:20
Massage 2:30 - 3:30
Management Meeting 4:30 -5:00
Arrive @ Lounge 5:15
Sleep on sofa at Lounge 5:15 - 6:25
Alarm rouses me to set up 6:25 - 6:45
Doors Open, People arrive 6:50
Jack & Jill begins 7:10
Sex with Jason 8:15'ish
Jack & Jill ends 9:30
Tidy up Lounge 9:30 - 9:45
Arrive home 10:20
Put dishes in dishwasher
Put dirty clothes in laundry room
Make lunches for the man & the teenager for tomorrow
Write blog post
Sleep 11:28 PM

This has been the day from hell. I am exhausted, overly pregnant, uncomfortable, swollen and still drastically behind on my work load.

And as I type out this whine, I am eating one of my birthday gifts from friends C & M.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Go Me!

Monday, October 26, 2009

Orgasms Inducing Labor

Every time I masturbate and pop off an orgasm, within one minute I have a huge contraction. This then sets me up for at least 2-3 more over the next short while.

The orgasms are so intense and necessary for stress reduction, yet they produce anxiety as I really do not want to go into labor until the second of week of November minimum. Especially given all the commitments that are currently before me, having the baby now would be crazy.

So should I give up orgasms and masturbating and throw caution to the wind, or should I keep having O's and praying that they do not induce actual labor? I am uncertain at this point.

This afternoon I saw a coaching client and taught him a class on the G-spot and I even brought in a model for this demo class - it was very well received and went great.

Then this evening was my class for women on Dominance in the bedroom. A great group of women gathered together to learn and become inspired and I am confident our two hours together left them feeling more confident and so desiring a chance to put their newly acquired skills to use.

Then I came home and answered email, before passing out cold. So tired. So weary. So pregnant and sore.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Friends Gathering

This afternoon many many friends gathered together at The Lounge for the drop in event that was my birthday celebration. Over the course of five hours people came and went and it was a lovely way to spend time with so many different people.

Everyone brought appetizers and sweets to nibble on and the food tables were exploding with all the options, it was wonderful.

We sat back and ate, had some great conversations, caught up with one another, opened gifts and had cake.

My actual birthday is this Wednesday, October 28th and the baby is due in six weeks at this point, so an afternoon sitting around with people I adore was just what I needed and wanted.

There were some beautiful gifts: handmade ones, funny ones, sexy ones, baby ones, couples ones and a few that were just over the top extravagant just for me. (an afternoon at a day-spa, o'my)

There are two new prints hanging in our living-room from Guy, as he took the most gorgeous pregnancy photos of Jason and I and put them into matched frames as a gift. These are the most precious offerings of friendship one could imagine, they really capture this special time of our lives.

Lisa knit the baby a blanket and it's just the sweetest gift ever, and N&S gave me a gift certificate to the local Priape store where I plan on making a deviant purchase. There were many many awesome gifts to many to list, but I will say my friends are truly the kindest and their all being at my side means so much to me.

The added bonus to the day was all the yummy food that people left behind, so our fridge at home is now stuffed with things I find delectable yet would not normally stock in abundance.

Thank you to everyone who was there and to those who were unable to attend who sent messages of love and kindness.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Casting a Torso

The last member orientation at our original facility happened this afternoon, then on the way home we picked up scrumptious Chinese food take out.

Then Jason cast my breasts and my belly, so we can always visually recollect the size and shape of my pregnant self. Some time in the coming weeks, we will be painting the finished product.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Erotic Birthday Cake Vancouver

This afternoon was my bi-weekly appointment with the obstetrician. He is such a kind and jolly man, that he can easily be described as Santa Claus with a turban. I'm enamored which is good, as one should like and trust their doctor this much.

Jason and I went together to the mid day check up and when we were finally called into the doc's office, I had my list ready.

My arm is killing me and I have no idea why. It's my non dominant one and the shooting pain at night is keeping me awake.

My back is aching terribly and even the prescription pregnancy massage is not helping.

And finally, the biggest issue of them all. I am DONE being a human incubator. I need this baby removed from me immediately.

Each complaint he heard well, and nodded along to appropriately as the medical student in his office weighed me, took my blood pressure and measured my belly's growth.

Then I got quiet, staring at him and waiting for his answers.

My arm issue is pregnancy related carpal tunnel syndrome stemming from edema. A professionally fitted support wrist and forearm device will alleviate much of the discontent.

My back, more massage, more relaxing and soon that pain will just end on its own.

Ending the pregnancy. Ok, it is possible and he would consider doing so IF, and only IF I consent to a amniotic fluid test to determine the babys lung strength first. This is the illusion of choice. I'll be damned if I am going to let anyone stick a long, long thin needle through my belly while I am awake.

So what does all this mean? Well we purchased the arm brace yesterday on the way home, I plan on attempting to rest more and the baby stays inside of me.

The doctor did say that I'll be seeing him every week now that I am so far along. (33.5 weeks) I casually dropped the bomb to him that I hope he is prepared for my continuous grumblings and demands that he take this child out. His response ... "well I was sort of thinking that seeing you weekly would dilute your complaints". He is such a sweet sweet man.

The one thing he did say that makes me feel some what better is that if I continue to want this baby out, then at 38 weeks he would make it happen. It's true I have had a horrible third trimester. Wisdom teeth removal, dry socket, the loss of my mucus plug, premature labor, carpal tunnel and a few other womanly issues that I care to not even mention here. It has been rather taxing emotionally and physically.

I came out of that appointment somewhat disappointed as I really did have high hopes that I could bribe him in some way to end my pregnancy and give me my son. Jason came out the appointment somewhat giggly at my demands (I had forewarned him) and also amused at how well the doctor "handled me".

We came home and I crawled into a hot tub, for a long soak. It was heavenly. Then I dried myself off, dressed and we headed out to a rather full Exploratorium. It was a great night at work. One of our members even brought me a Happy Birthday cake...complete with breasts, a nipple ring and sporting a chocolate dipped penis mounted in an edible strap-on as part of the package. It was wonderful. Thanks D & S!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Birthday Fast Approaching

Another photo from the photo shoot the other day. I like this one too, Todd did an amazing job with me, especially given how crappy I have felt lately.

In six days it is my 37th birthday, and these days do I ever feel old. In fact, I am looking for a pair of slippers .... sexy ones ... not granny ones and they must have no heel and be non slip. Any leads where I can get my feet into some?

Last night at Deviant Dining was a really good dinner, wonderful guests who were highly engaged in some incredible conversations and a host of connections made between members whom had not met before. Plus one member brought me a birthday present, plus a gift for the baby. I came home happy, over full and grateful to be surrounded by such wonderful community.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Thirty Three Weeks along

To be perfectly honest, I feel like shit.

I barely slept at all last night. The baby inside of me had the hiccups for hours on end which kept me awake against my will and a pinched nerve in my arm was causing me horrid physical distress. Many, many tears were shed.

Today marks my 33rd week of pregnancy. And I feel very uncomfortable. I am not at all happy as of late. Don't get me wrong, I am super eager to get this child out of me as these final weeks are a real struggle for my body and pregnancy is no longer a joyful time.

All I want is to meet my son, get my body back and resume my life without discontent.

It is a good thing there are so many wonderful friends that support me and a family that goes the extra mile because I am needing the love right now.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Head Shot

A Lounge Member spent some time this evening with me and we did a photo shoot. This is one of the finished images. I need these for upcoming media publications and assorted other printed materials.

I like this one, a lot.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Crazy Life of Mine

There is so much on my plate right now.

I had to cancel my massage therapy appointment this week due to a triple booking the same day, during the same time period. Balancing everything I have going on is a definite challenge lately.

Right now I am supposed to be working on a legal suit that I am involved in that is before the courts in less than three weeks. Yet I lack the stamina necessary to put together the documents I should be preparing, perhaps later today I'll get to it.

I have commissioned a woman to make me a four foot tall penis and a four foot tall vulva for an upcoming large educational production that I have been hired to star in. Once this post is written I owe her a phone call so we can continue on plotting the execution of this outrageous project.

We returned home from the US late last night, and though we managed to put away all of our purchases, the suitcases still need to be unpacked and some serious laundry must be taken care of.

After emptying my telephones, there is a tidy list of eleven different people that I have to phone and deal with.

Tonight is new member orientation at The Lounge and there are seven inductees scheduled to be in class.

And to top off this day from hell, I am nauseous, still. I went to bed with a big bowl next to me and still this afternoon my stomach is rather queasy and unsettled for some reason.

I am finally pregnant enough that I no longer see the obstetrician monthly, rather these days, it is every two weeks as finally we are on the countdown till the birth of our son. Friday I see the doctor again and I can complain about my pained back and wrists, and rumbly tummy.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Sacred Sex Magic

My dear friend Julie sent this to me and asked that I pass it along to anyone interested.....

Ecstasy. Boundaries. Attraction. Sensuality. Desire.

Our sacred sexuality is a birthright beyond the ability to procreate, as a source of incredible joy and sometimes frustration. We welcome all the pieces of our sexual selves in the gorgeous paradox of being broken and whole. Together we will awaken or refresh a deep relationship with our unique sexual life force. We seek to know our own sex energy intimately in order to bring it fully into the world, through relationships and magic.

Working with sexual energy can challenge us on many levels and willingness to participate fully is important -- however, please know that you will not be asked to sexually interact with another. Please be pagan friendly and comfortable with creating sacred space and working with guided meditation or trance. We welcome adults of all genders and orientations.

This work will presented in a series of three weekend workshops.

Dates: January 23rd & 24th, March 13th & 14th, May 15th & 16th
Time: 10:00 AM - 4:00 PM all days

Cost: $375-450 sliding scale. Or $300 if paid in full by December 23rd.

Where: Seattle area

Contact: Hekate at for information and registration, and if you're interested in scholarships or work trade


Ravyn Stanfield is an acupuncturist, writer, lover, artist and activist dedicated to bringing more magic and erotic revolution into the world through the cracks in Western civilization. She teaches workshops internationally and in the Oregon prison system. She has been involved with Reclaiming since 1996.

Dawn Isidora is hypnotherapist, spiritual counselor and writer. Her work is guided by the wisdom of the Elements and focuses on the workings of relationships, whether they be with oneself, others, or the Gods. Dawn has been teaching magic and earth spirituality, in Oregon and abroad for over fifteen years. She first became involved with Reclaiming while living in San Francisco in 1983.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Animal Play

You have to understand, my in box sees a lot of email and some of it is is obviously unusual given that people write me about most things sexual.

From time to time, I am met with a letter that strikes me as odd. Not usually by its subject matter, rather in the why it was sent to me. I have heard, seen and done a lot, so it takes something out of the ordinary to really make me take notice. I have many answers, and opinions but some things are just out of my league or area of specialty while others just remain a mystery.

Let me present Exhibit A from today's emails addressed to me:

dear jennifer

i am a slave girl into BDSM with my master for almost 1.5 yrs. my master wants me to play the real life role of a human cow girl without having a baby but yet producing milk. I have got no detailed idea about what a cow slave actually need to be. can you plz help me and let me know your experiences or something from which i can learn. how long are the suction cups to be used. i have 34B cups. are they enough to be a cow girl? or suction cups can increase them? plz let me know some basic and informative details so that i can start...


I'll be honest, not only am I confused after reading this, but I am also not going to bother responding as it is just really fucking odd. I presume that since I am pregnant and lactating that this person thinks I can "help her out". NOT!


Some days my job is just bloody weird and I regret having to open my mail program at all.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Shopping Goodness

Locked away in a hotel room South of the border, just me and my man. And oodles of bags of shopping goodness.

We spent the entire day using credit cards and hard cash to buy all the things that made us happy.

Then we showered, put on evening wear and went out for a beautiful dinner with over one hundred kinky friends and pals.

Tomorrow brings a new adventure that requires me to be rested and happy. Which means, it's bed time now for us.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Couples Bath House Party Vancouver

SULTRY is the most incredible night that Libido Lounge hosts out of house. It is a private rental of a bath house in down town Vancouver and an event we've been hosting monthly for well over a year and a quarter. The age range of attendees is generally late twenties to early fifties: though of course we do see couples younger and older attending. You need not bring anything as we take care of it all, there is no dress code, other than naked.

You DO NOT need to be a Libido Lounge member to attend SULTRY, any couple who wishes may attend. But you'll need to get your payment in immediately as we accept no money at the door. Advance tickets only.

SULTRY is for couples only or for people out together on a date: same sex couples are more than welcome to come join in the festivities. The night is about having a hot steam, enjoying soapy showers, meeting new naked friends, and sex. There is plenty to watch, lots of nooks and crannies to play in, massage tables and cots to play on and group games to help you get to know other couples easily. Some people come out to meet others to swap for sex, some join us to have sex in front of others, and still others come out to be a part of such a playful environment.

There is no requirement to play with others, or to join in on anything. The chill out room has cool fans, a large screen plasma TV with porn playing, a cooler filled with bottled water & pop, a table covered in munchies and leather chairs for you to hang out in conversation away from the heat and wetness of the actual party when you are ready for a break. There are enough lockers on site for every person, so you can stow your belongings safely.

And this night is fast approaching, a week today, Saturday October 24th. (it's also four days before my 37th birthday)

Below is information on sending in your payment, do it now to ensure your space at this SULTRY party.

SULTRY - couples only bath house event
SATURDAY OCTOBER 24th, 7:30 - 11:30 PM

Tickets are $80 for General Public couples and non refundable.
Tickets are $65 for Lounge Member couples and non refundable.
Tickets are $10 for Lounge Life Time Member couples and non refundable.

SULTRY Steam, Sauna, Sex - Couples Only

We make a private rental of an Original Style Bath House in Vancouver.

~~~~~ SULTRY ~~~~~

An evening for the playfully adventurous: Just you, your partner...and twenty-four other couples, locked in for an evening of debauchery. With saunas, showers, play rooms, and massage tables, the stage is set for sensual, sexual, and fun games. Get lathered up with a large number of others in the shower (the lathering is mutual, of course); have a water fight; pair up (or triple up) for intimate play -- or watch other people while they do. Relax in the sauna between activities while Jennifer runs her version of Show & Tell (not quite the game you remember), have a snack or a cold drink, then dive back into the steam for more.

Tickets are first come, first served and are purchased by sending a check made out to "LL":

Libido Lounge
PO Box 28578
4050 Hastings Street
Burnaby, BC V5C 6J4


Send an Electronic Money Transfer = EMT, from your banks home page, to my email address

**Once payment is received, the address and other relevant party info will be sent to you. Be sure to include your email address when sending a check, and the answer to the security question when sending an EMT.

* All inclusive: Entrance to the event, finger foods, non-alcoholic beverages, lounge room entertainment, play stations, safer-sex supplies...

* ...Social lounge with TV and refreshments, play rooms (with recovery beds and massage tables), two large shower rooms, two large steam rooms

* You and your partner must arrive and leave together.

* Our own masseuse for couples massages (there is an additional charge of $20 for 15 minutes). Sign up when you arrive!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

We're Getting Close

Today marks thirty two whopping emotionally and physically taxing weeks that I have been pregnant with our soon to be born son.

I celebrated this day, by going for yet another of my weekly massage therapy appointments and being kneaded and worked over by my wonderful RM Therapist. It felt like a luxury, yet it was sorrily needed as my body is rebelling at this point of my pregnancy.

It's almost feeling like time for me to pack my hospital bag, to have it ready and waiting next to the front door for when the time comes. The nursery is about complete now, it still needs some items, yet it is essentially ready for us to bring the little man home to.

The crib is set up, clothes are all washed and set out, the change table is stocked, the baby bath has all its accessories, the car seat and stroller combo are put together and we have figured them out and of course, we have diapers.

We still need a crib set of linens, wall decorations, a rug (the bedroom is laminate flooring), a lamp, a monitor, a diaper disposal system, a dresser and a rocking chair just to name a few things off the top of my head. Yet I figure this will all sort itself out in the coming weeks.

Jason is designing and sewing wall decorations as the room is jungle themed. They will all be three dimensional, it's going to be really amazing when complete.

And here is a photo of the proud father to be, assembling the crib.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Pregnancy Photo 31 weeks 5 days

Jason and I packed our gear and a few props into bags just before noon and headed off to The Lounge. We were met there by a friend who is also a photographer with the intention of having some pregnancy photos shot of us along with our baby bump.

Though the lot of pictures won't be back for a short while with all the touch ups required and such, a sample few were sent to us to admire. The above image is Guy's handiwork.

Then after the photo shoot, Jason and I headed off to get pedicures together. Massaging chairs, hot water and well manicured feet - we were luxuriously pampered for just over an hour and loved every minute of it. This little self care ritual that we have together is a rather amazing bonding experience.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Anal Fisting

Note the black Nitrile gloves and the crop needed to whip that bird into submission.

I stuffed our bird, and I won. The results were magnificent. A stuffing of Whiskey, dried fruits, fresh herbs and spices and ta-da, fantastic end product.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Body Image

You think you know me? You figure you surely have a fairly good idea of who I am and what makes me tick. Well good for you. Because you know what? The last thirty one weeks of pregnancy have changed me and I no longer feel as though I know myself.

Don't get me wrong the fundamentals are still the same, the building blocks behind my personality, drive, education, family dynamics and heart. The change that has occurred surrounds how I see myself.

It's the weight gain and how I move that has altered my sense of self. There was a period of time in my life, about a decade ago where with all honesty I tipped the scales at two hundred pounds. My world was vastly different and I was struggling with more than a few issues, but those days and pounds were let go of a long time ago now.

It's been hard emotionally for me to watch my body change shape with this pregnancy. The first thing that shifted for me was my breasts. The fullness that came into my breasts was seen as a blessing, as larger breasts for this A cup woman was most welcome indeed. Over the last few months though they have continued to grow and now are at a whopping double D cup. They weigh a lot and as such are now hurting my back, but this post isn't about that. The extra cleavage is nice though and I do like a lot how I am now able to fill in a top, they are sexy.

My face is normally rather slender, with a strong jaw line and nose. The weight of pregnancy has made my cheeks full(er) and my chin more pronounced. I feel puffy in the face and this makes me self conscious.

My size nine feet, are currently a size ten to ten and a half, depending on the day. They have swelled from edema and my toes that were once long and thin now appear like sausages. Normally I get a pedicure now and again, though with this pregnancy, I am getting one every three weeks, just so that I can look down and see something pretty peeking out at me. It's a small luxury.

I like being able to see my vulva, this means that I can shave it with care and tend to it in such a way that makes me want to allow other people to spend time visiting me there. It's been months since I lost sight of my girl bits, I can no longer see my vulva, no matter the angle. I hate the shave job I've been giving myself and it makes me feel not well put together to find a surprise tuft of hair after my shower or bath when I have a hand mirror. Smooth makes me feel sexy.

My thighs are also out of sight, but certainly not out of mind. I miss being able to look down and see my naked whole self. I know my thighs have gained weight as the first part of my pre-pregnancy pants to no longer fit was the thigh region. All that is visible to me when I stand up-right and look down, are sadly my sausage like toes.

One would think I had some issue with my arms or hands, but no, they have not been subjected to any growth and as such remain unchanged. Thankfully.

My belly is big, and round. Perfectly normally for being as pregnant as I am, and I find it wondrous. Not beautiful, just ... as it should be. I am carrying low and this means that the little man is laying hard on my bladder regularly. Three out of the five pair of pants I bought exclusively for my pregnancy no longer fit. They are way to tight.

Stretch marks. Not a single one. This has to be the single biggest item that gives me the most amount of satisfaction. I have no red angry marks on me and not a purple line anywhere. I pray this will stay as is, as it appears that this problem is one not to be mine. I consider this a large miracle.

I have gained exactly what I should have thus far weight wise, and my doctor hasn't said a word about any of this, so I know I am within the range of normal, yet I feel clunky and awkward.

My buttocks, yeah that's right, my derriere has grown. It is more plump and full, it's growth happening right alongside with my breasts. With a larger butt, comes of course, a wider spread to my hips. I have always had child bearing hips, making me rather curvaceous. At least the bottom side and hip growth appears in a mirror to make my weight gain look proportionate. This I *think* is good news.

My self esteem is questionable these days when it comes to my appearance. I rationally know I am an attractive woman and the people who surround me keep telling me how gorgeous, radiant and glowing I am. The issue perhaps is that I am concerned about what it is going to take for me to get back to my pre-pregnancy shape and weight. It was so easy to get this large, it's part of having a baby, but resuming my life as a height weight proportionate woman is important to how I see myself and I am already longing for the chance to see my self again without all the weight.

There is still another eight weeks or so left for the little guy to continue to ready to enter the world. And as he grows, I will continue to grow to.

The end of this month, weeks before the baby is born, I turn thirty seven. The last time I gave birth I was twenty one. Recovery after giving birth, and the losing of the weight are both significantly more challenging at my age, than for someone younger.

It took me a long time in this life to accept and feel good about my body. I had huge issues around body image for years and suffered great shame over who I was as a naked woman before a mirror, or before a partner. I only came into my own in the last five years or so, and became able to celebrate my shape and beauty.

I'm worried and perhaps more honestly scared that after the baby is born, I'll return to that dark place again, of not liking my own body or even recognizing it.

My life is so busy that spending excess amounts of time obsessing about my looks is not realistic, yet I do know how damaging it can be to not see oneself as the beautiful form that we are.

Friday, October 09, 2009

Singles Event in Vancouver

My morning was spent being lazy and sleeping in next to my man in our bed. He doesn't work Friday's so a chance to wake up with him is always cherished. We rolled out of bed around eleven and it was great. We remained in our robes for the entire day and with the teenager at school we had the house to ourselves. Sadly I am still too under the weather to be anything other than cuddly and whiny, but hey at least I can be this way at home and no one complains other than me. (I am so loved)

Around one o'clock I crawled back into bed and promptly fell back asleep for an hour and a half by myself. The nap was crucial to my healing process as my wisdom teeth are still bothering me a lot and contractions are taking their toll too. My back is killing me and the pain meds. are continuing to make me nauseous. So yeah, the nap was needed.

After I did some work on the computer I couldn't help but note that Jason was on the sofa in his robe, reading a baby name book. (still) He's been working on his favorite names list and was at about the letter N when I decided to join him. I threw the cushions onto the floor, pushed my man over some to make more room for me and my belly, then laid myself out alongside him. Then with a blanket pulled up over us, and his arms around me we looked over baby names together. Five minutes or so into our little bonding fest, with me snuggled against his chest, I fell asleep, yet again.

When I awoke I was startled by the time. Five thirty. Yikes. I ran around the house tidying, dressing and readying for my evening of work.

Let me start by saying that Speed Dating tonight at The Lounge was a blast. Everyone was well dressed and the event went off without incident. The games I chose made it possible for each person to learn about the rest of the group and be able to disclose anything about themselves they wanted to that felt relevant to be being known better. Trust me when I say that what certain people shared was eye-opening, funny, poignant and sexy as hell. Tomorrow when I awaken I'll spend the time to hook-up everyone who signed up to be notified of all their potential matches. I so love this part of my job.

Home now and ready to head to bed. I am a real sleepy head today and I figure I should grab the sleep while I can ... because soon enough a little man will be dictating my sleep hours and I'll have little control over that period of time.