Misery

I never, ever, ever, ever ever, EVER want to be pregnant again.

I hate it.

I can't stand for a moment longer how horrible I feel and the demands this period of time has put on my body. I am physically and emotionally drained.

Medically I have a list of woes that are getting more complicated every 48 hours, yet not-quite-bad-enough to warrant inducing me as of yet. (but I was promised if I was still in such a bad way at 38 weeks, the doctor would induce then)

I see now that I took on too much being pregnant at 37 years old, still working waaaay more than full time, existing as a functioning adult and moving a business. It was a dumb mistake on my behalf.

But I have suffered enough and I can't fake it any longer. Sorry folks, this sucks the big one. I am a wreck.

My sleep is horrible, the edema out of control, my ability to walk is hampered, heart burn that is a killer, my pelvic floor feels like a ton of bricks are laying on it, my stomach is constantly nauseous, difficulty breathing and the list goes on and on. Trust me when I say, that I've not even shared the intimate body/medical problems I am suffering with.

Tomorrow I see the Obstetrician, and again I will walk into his office and beg for relief. I have also canceled the rest of my days appointments so that I can sleep in, keep my feet up and do nothing much of anything. Other than rest that is.

Should the doctor not see things my way, it is possible that I may utter threats that I could easily follow through with. I do have plenty of supportive friends, you know?