Saturday, September 02, 2006

sweeping away cobwebs

At twelve years old, I was an awkward, self conscious yet striving young girl
entering grade 8, high school. Innocence, naiveness, purity, all long ago
removed from me even before I knew such qualities existed. I'd had private
regular sexual activity as far back as my young life knew.

Sex was taken from me but not my virginity. My virginity was my own, I'd
claimed this as something that could not be taken from me. I gave my virginity
to a bad boy. A bad boy who treated me good and agreed to meet
me after school for sex. All I had to do was ask.

I needed to give myself to Billy. Billy was my first. Billy was a choice.
Our sex was a planned, choice. Billy was the first person I got to choose to
have sex with. Billy was the first boy whom I wanted to share my body with.
Billy was my first. Billy took my virginity and I handed it to him on a silver
platter. Take me now. It wasn't about pleasure, it was about choice.
I came alive, not in orgasm, but in choice, it was simply powerful to be able
to choose sex and want it.

As a girl I was robbed of choice. Billy on the other hand, he let me come to
him and ask for sex. Billy, 14 maybe 15 years and he already knew not to push
a girl into wanting him. Billy let me come to him in my own time and it was by
doing this that he owned my heart. He let me have a voice for my sex &
sexuality. Billy taught me what others had never shown me when in pursuit of
their own pleasure. Billy listened, he cared, then he got the girl.

I loved Billy with all my heart and thought the world would end, when our
relationship ended. Of course the world didn't end, but my relationship with
Billy did.

Since Billy and my childhood I've gained a powerful loud voice for my sexuality
and fallen in love many more times over.

Friday, September 01, 2006

just another tourist

After a long, hot drive along the I5 corridor earlier today, my daughter and I have landed safely in Seattle. Arriving in a few hours ago, we stopped off at Allena's place in Queen Ann, leaving our bags behind and caught our breath, finally able to cool off some.

Once rested, we were right back out the door and off to the Pike Place Market to see some flying fish, brilliant colors for flowers and the masses of tourists, who like us, were there to savor this final Friday of the summer.

Now back at Bella's as the heat was just to much for us out there in the world. A family show on tv, a few e-mails and once the sun goes down a little, we plan on heading out again for sushi at our favorite neighborhood restaurant. I'm eager to sit myself down and eat till I've no room left.

Tomorrow I've got two classes to teach at "The Gathering, Wet Spot In Paradise", Cock Sucking: the Hand Job, Blow Job class and Erotic Wax & Ice Play.

Since Allena stays at WSIP for the duration, my daughter and I have her condo to ourselves.

Days like this one remind me of how blessed I am and that by making good choices I've permitted such opportunities for myself and my family to enjoy life.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

in a day

This afternoon I had an appointment at the Skin Care Center at VGH, my case & symptoms finally warranting a referral to this city specialist. New prescriptions in hand, the physician eased my mind and sent me back out the office door a mere 15 minutes later. What professionalism he exuded. I sure value a Doctor with an excellent bed side manner and punctuality. Doctor was a pleasant surprise, medical outcome & treatment more hopeful.

This evening before dinner, a knock on the door and it was the landlord on behalf of the property management group. Handing me a white piece of paper, asking for my signature and giving me 90 days notice of a rent increase. Damn this sucks the big one.

Home now from teaching this evening's How To Look and Feel Sexy class at The Love Nests Burnaby store. Feet up on the sofa, answering e-mails before bed while watching the evening news.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

banned commercial

In light of my teaching my Forbidden Fantasies: Role Playing In The Bedroom class at Saturday's Naughty Party, a party attendee sent me a link afterwards she thought I'd enjoy.

It's a link to you tube and a short, 45 second hilarious Ikea commercial that never made it to TV and you'll soon see why!

It's a good belly laugh for those of us that do role play AND that are parents as well.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

in passing

My father phoned a short while ago and when my daughter anwered he started sobbing, unable to speak passing the phone to my mother. My daughter spoke to my mom for about a minute before the phone was passed to me. I knew what was going to be said next.

My grandfather finally passed away, he'd been hanging on for the last few months and today was his day to leave us. Dying on his own, peacefully in a care home, minutes from my folks. When my dad got to him after his passing, he still had a smile on his face.

With everyone around me in tears & hurting, it's time for me to hold my family together for awhile.

Monday, August 28, 2006

day off

I awoke this morning to my daughter laying in bed next to me smiling, gently nudging me. Wake Up! We're going to PNE today! With sun shining in the windows, we flung back the covers and started our day.

Woke at a leisurely pace, then we were out of the house without doing a stitch of house work and off to the Fair for the whole day.

Parked at dear Hughs house, he lives a block and a half block away from PNE and made our way straight into the main gates as we had picked up tickets in advance from Safeway.

What fun we had. The joint pig and duck show is a must see each year for us and a real riot. The dog show is spectacular and such a crowd pleaser. (although sad & different this year with Herb now retired and gone) The diving team had a thrilling performance and the dance troupes all out did themselves. Street performers were all offering differing acts and managing to hold a crowd. Lucky us.

Parade was short and sweet, we even managed seats on a bench. Horse and carriage ride was a great way to spend a loonie and to get us off our feet for 15 minutes. The food was over priced yet we had to indulge and the air filled with wonderful aromas while me munched down yummy treats. A few games suckered us in and yet we came out ahead with stuffed cheap plushies as rewards to our stellar efforts.

The crowds as always were sexy and I of course ran in to many people who recognized me, or who I knew. Some show was cancelled at the last minute and so in it's place was a magic and illusions show which had us mesmerized from start to end. What a fitting way to end our day.

Today was a good day.

good night

Sunday, August 27, 2006

it's after the Naughty Party

and I've made it home in one piece, barely. Exhausted. Spent. Blissed out. Happy. Tired. Before sleep there are a number generous & kind folks I want to pay a special thank you to (again), for helping make last nights Naughty Party so damn sexy & successful for all. In random order they are


Thank you to each of you for your volunteer time but more importantly for being people that others can count on. You're an incredible group and working with you all last night was a treat.

I'm in love with my new white cotton t shirt from Alberta that P & I gave me as a gift. It says "So Many Boys, So Little Rope". Knowing you both is a delight, I appreciate your thoughtfulness.

There is an extra big thanks going out to Victoria over at The Triskeli Guild in Bellingham, she and Stephen came up for the party and brought with them a spanking bench. You two made my night, the spanking bench and your company!