Wednesday, June 01, 2005

sexy happy things

Things That Make Me Feel Sexy and/or Happy

1. thigh high, black, pvc 6 inch heeled boots molded to my legs
2. cuban toed stockings rolled up my calves
3. massage with essential oils from the top of my back to the ends of my toes
4. good boot polish to a high shine from a woman boot black on her knees
5. having someone sing to me
6. being carried to bed
7. watching my partners face as she orgasms from my attention and love
8. playing voyeur to young couples on the street making out
9. love notes addressed to me - under my pillow, in my purse, tucked in my hand
10. cotton candy by surprise and as a reward for good behaviour
11. coca cola slurpies with 2 straws, one green and one pink
12. no line ups at the border crossing as I enter
13. my Daddy calling me his girl
14. my girl calling me Mistress
15. lube, more lube and even more LUBE, yippee for personal Lubricant
16. having my cheek stroked lightly
17. walking & feeling the beads on my nipple piercings bounce on my areolas
18. knowing my place in this world
19. creating sacred space for others to explore in
20. being flirted with by young men
21. my iBook G4 as it does it all for me
22. Bella calling me Ma'am
23. owning my submission & masochism
24. creating safe opportunities to play
25. big wet g spot orgasms at the hands of my Daddy
26. being bound, immobilized and left to float away
27. showing women that being bi sexual and a mother is possible
28. hearing the words " I love you"
29. a big bowl of cold cherries on a summer day naked on the porch
30. hearing a latex glove go on from behind my hood
31. being needed
32. celebrating my polyamorous relationships with others
33. Allena, Daddy and I together
34. cold chocolate milk at 3 am
35. bondage outdoors, suspended from a tree in Horseshoe Bay
36. handcuffs that restrict my partners ability to keep me at bay
37. sushi eaten off a naked womans body
38. flavored lube as something different
39. hot showers, warm baths and heated towels
40. someone taking a risk for me
41. tears of joy
42. my hitatchi magic wand, plugged in to the wall and in between my legs
43. the baby Jesus butt plug that Bella gave me as a gift
44. being an activist
45. no mail in the mail box
46. no messages on my phone
47. promptness and attention to detail
48. success
49. surrounding myself with like minded people
50. people who follow through on their commitments without excuses
51. knowing what the limit is in anything
52. sharing my journey
53. feeling music pound through my body as I make my way through a club
54. having and knowing love & passing it on
55. clean sheets smelling of lavendar
56. people asking me for exactly what they want (politely)
57. silky panties, covering my moistness
58. ice trailed over a breast till the nipple raises, perky
59. kisses on my eye lids
60. vibrators that make no noise
61. sharing sex positive culture with workshop attendees
62. fingers trailing over my post orgasmic body creating all new shudders
63. jiggle of bra free breast bouncing under a short t shirt on a hot summer day
64. the ass on some of Vancouver's bike couriers
65. my Daddy's chest and my knowing just where my spot is
66. soft leather corset binding me tight
67. teaching the erotic arts
68. saying no to alcohol
69. moans of pleasure
70. soft lace bras
71. the smell of leather as I enter a leather store
72. color co ordinated fetish wear
73. sharing SSC with new comers
74. erotic art in main stream culture
75. shopping for new sex toys and finding something I'm excited about
76. the look of rope marks on my body after a heavy bondage scene
77. bruises of love and consent
78. learning a new knot to tie
79. the feel of a hand spanking as my bottom warms
80. being suspended in rope bondage, inverted and flung around to fly high
81. sharing a fantasy and having my partner bring it to fruition
82. spending a day in bed being used
83. spending a day in bed using someone
84. the smell of hemp rope as it closes in on me
85. power, giving it up and taking it
86. sparkle cookies while reading erotica in my queen size bed
87. body butter worked in to every inch of my skin
88. breaking a sweat in the pursuit of pleasure
89. sound of a belt pulled quickly through pant loops
90. a tongue flickering on the small of my back
91. the smell of lust lingering in the air
92. creating want in someone
93. hot pink duck tape against flesh
94. the feel of a cool breath of air on my over heated body
95. someone breathless asking for more
96. women that orgasm multiple times and loud too
97. men, bald, with a few days worth of stubble on top
98. being denied
99. being granted permission
100. being OWNED

There was a time in my life when I was only loved by one person and today in my life I'm loved by many.

There was a time in my life when I was only intimate with one person and today in my life I'm intimate with many!

There was a time in my life when I only had sex with one person and today in my life I have sex with many. (define sex)

There was a time in my life when I couldn't ask for what I wanted and today in life I can.

There was a time in my life when I didn't understand the power of love and today I understand the freedom that comes with love.


Sunday, May 29, 2005

weekend memories

Friday's weather was amazing if I'd been laying on the beach with a cabana boy/girl tending to me; but no, I was driving along the I5 to Seattle and boiling hot. Arrived in to my Friday night dates home a little bit ahead of schedule and as such it left more time for us to talk together and relax some before we headed out. It's been a while since I'd put on a skirt, blouse and heels and been taken out to dinner on a date. It was a lot of fun for me and I enjoyed the food and the opportunity to be out with someone different. My friend and I go way back and have been through much together, there is a fondness there that's so deep because of our history.

Sleeping with someone else is a different experience as well. Being multi partnered you learn that each of your bed mates will have their own posistion to hold you in, to keep you, a posistion as favorite etc and of course we had to leave some time before finally falling asleep to find our spot with one another in his King size bed. It worked out great and we were sound asleep by 2 in the morning, however I was awake shortly before 7 to start my day. Up, dressed and a cuddle with S and then off to meet Allena and head to the Queer Femme Conference.

I'm navigationally challenged, There, I said it out loud and put it out in the universe too, Jennifer is navigationally challenged and as such ended up making a frantic call to Allena Saturday morning half an hour before I was due to arrive to her.

frantically,"Bella, it's me! And I'm bloody lost, I don't know where I even am, and I need to know how to get to you from here!"

"well tell me where you are first (chuckle, chuckle) it'll be ok and I'll get you to me, just tell me where you are?"

"I've no god damn idea where I am Bella, but I'm next to a car dealership and this mall here and this sign blah blah blah"

In the end it turned out that when I left S I actually went the wrong direction on the I5 and even with Allena on my cell talking me through it, I still had a hard time getting un lost and back to where I should have been. Normally I'm fine driving in Seattle, but coming from S home to Allena's was a stretch for me.

Finally I make it to Allena's and we head straight to the conference after I dump all of my bags in her condo. Veronica who is Bella's cousin was also staying with us and teaching at the conference too. She is just such an amazing woman both inspiring and motivating. Beautiful with her words and as an intelligent woman. Veronica is an activist / sex educator and the one secret that I'm going to tell in today's blog update.

Veronica Monet will be flying to Vancouver to present for the Libido Events Vancouver Sexuality Empowerment Conference in October. Not only will Veronica presenting in depth sexuality workshops but also promoting her new book due out at the same. As the date draws closer for the conference more info on Veronica will be forthcoming as well as on the other presenters that I've hired. Over the course of the weekend I had the priviledge of watching Veronica teach a couple of times at the conference and let me tell you that the conference attendees loved her just as much I do. (and a standing ovation after any workshop in this realm is astounding and she deserved it)

There was so much going on at the conference that I can not begin to tell you it all. Here are some of the highlights:

1. Dossie Easton & I had the chance to spend time together this weekend both personally and professionally and this meant an awful lot to me as an educator and as someone who thinks she's really hot and an amazing author. (Dossie Easton, a San Francisco family therapist, is co-author with Janet Hardy of The Ethical Slut, a guide to infinite sexual possibilities as well as The Bottoming Book , The Topping Book and When Someone You Love is Kinky. They are currently working on a new book, Radical Ecstasy, about transcendent states of consciousness in sex and SM, to be released in the Fall. As a licensed psychotherapist she works with individuals, couples and more in her private practice, and has extensive experience over the past thirty years with a wide variety of open sexual lifestyles. Dossie has been an active sex radical since 1961, and she does not intend to quit.)
2. Minne Bruce Pratt gave a speech about the gender oppression of woman, that has me wanting to change some things in my own life.
3. 350 queer femmes in one space-damn that's awesome energy to share with others and so empowering too.
4. Seeing women from Vancouver BC that made the journey to Seattle to be a part of this ground breaking project.
5. The cabaret/spoken word show left me breathless and the woman who sat herself down next to me in a chair, put her head on my shoulder and let me stroke her soft flesh while we watched pasties twirl, performance art and one woman who sparked in me an interest of lust
6. The panel on bisexuality and femminity that I spoke at had a grand group of women in it and my panel members were all so interesting and passionate as well.
7. Annie Sprinkle was a real doll, gracious and filled with warm words, talking with her was a real priviledge

everything else from the conference was a blur and besides this, it will take me atleast a week to deal with all the business cards that have been given to me and to send mail & calls to all these people. And you know what? As fast paced as I move, even I need time to process something and this is going take awhile.

Veronica, Bella and I stayed up late talking and finally Allena and I rolled in to bed together and were asleep by 1:30. I was up before the alarm (of course) at 6:30 and out of bed by 7:15 to work on my computer which I'd brought with me. Left this morning at 9:30 for the conference and was right off the bat in a room full of femmes discussing the topic at hand "chicks with dicks" strapon sex. Learned much, yes I did.

Networked through the rest of the day till 2 when this fabulous woman masseuse gave me a very healing massage before I had to depart. At 2:30 Allena and I had to head back to The Wet Spot so I could teach my 4pm class. Private Parts: Genital Play for the Adventurous. I love teaching at The Spot as it's affectionately called and there were more class attendees than I'd even made treat bags for. Jim's coming up tomorrow and when he leaves I'll send him with the extra treat bags so those who didn't get one today. This way he can take them to Allena at The Spot when he is with her later in the week.

Workshop ended at 6, well actually 6:10 as I ran over a tad bit and then I was on the phone to Canada to check on my daughter. Her dad wanted me back by bedtime at 9:30pm and I said I'd do my best. Such a quick goodbye to Allena, Veronica & Dossie then I was off in my car and driving in a beeline straight for my daughter by 6:25pm

Hit the border at 8:30, turned my cell back on when roam charges no longer existed then was phoning Kara to check in on her, arrived to my child at 9:20pm and home finally, thank the godesses by 9:36pm this evening. My bags are on my bedroom floor and can stay there forever for all I care right now. They are filled with toys right now that all need to be cleaned. more work, yikes!!

Child is in bed sleeping and I'm in my robe almost asleep by body but my mind is just going so fast.....a massage, I could really use a massage right now.

Tomorrow night I'm presenting Tales Of An Activist: Jennifer's story of entering Vancouvers sex positive communities and there is still packing to do for this event. A little nervous to be going to talk about my own life and experiences as my own journey but elated at the chance to show others how it's all come to be.

Now before I go to bed I need to spend one more hour sending out a mailout to the mailing list about tomorrow nights presentation on Tales of an Activist.

good night