Saturday, April 03, 2010

How To Kill A Pecker

I have an unwanted pecker. Get your mind out of the gutter, its not what you think I am referring to.

There is a wood pecker in our neighborhood who has decided it likes making holes in our house. A big hole in the front of our house, and I do mean big, and another on the back side of the house. I have been hearing weird noises for the last week and half but was unable to figure out what it was. That is, until yesterday when the gaping holes were noticed. Then this morning when the hammering noise started, Jason jumped out of bed, threw on my robe and ran outside, just in time to witness a woodpecker pounding away on our home.

Our house. The single most expensive purchase of our lives is being eaten by a bloody wood pecker. I am so not amused. Of course, it would have to happen to us, as our lives are always just so dull that we needed something added in for excitement. Yeah right!

Anyways, I am all for killing the thing. Currently the roof repair bill is going to high enough and god knows we don't want to fix the damage just to have him return to cause more chaos and harm.

So perhaps a BB gun. You got one you would be willing to lend us? Well actually Jason. Because you see, I couldn't shoot a critter no matter how mad I was at it, unless of course it was threatening my life. And at this time the damn bird is only threatening my home, so I am all for Jason knocking it off on my behalf.

There were no holes in our roof previously, the wood pecker made them himself. Jason finds it amusing than an unwanted pecker has followed me home. Story of my life really.

Now, aside from a BB gun and killing the damn thing, what is there that we can we do? We need a fast course of action.

It is not living in our attic as it turns out, just chomping holes into it, then flying away most likely happy about it's accomplishment.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Wrestling Babes

Libido Lounges newest event seeks amateur enthusiasts ...

Women wrestlers will be given a 3 month temporary membership to the Lounge in exchange for their involvement if they are not already members.

Wrestlin’ Babes of Libido Lounge

What’s your porn star name? Quick! Think of it and sign up for this exciting and fun new event. Always wanted to channel that primal sexual energy into a brawl with another luscious female? Join in the fun and put on a bit of a show at the same time.

Libido Lounges first foray into the world regulation holds, touches, clasps, grabs and throws. A women’s wrestling event will be a feast for the eyes, ears. Delectable, raw eye candy right there on the mats before you. Appealing? Goodness, yes! Clean rules, come join us and no ones gonna get hurt (much)

The need to know stuff:

2-3 minute wrestling rounds.

Variable weight classes.

Enter as a:

* willow-wisp (100 – 150 lb)

* curvygirl (150-200 lb)

* succulent lusciousness class (200 lb+)

Multiple experience classes:

___ Oh my, that sounds hot but I’m a novice

___ I’m a rowdy bitch that knows how to brawl

Standard female question: What should I wear?!

Probably something you’re not too attached too, and yet something delightfully sexy, like a bit of duct tape on your piercings! Whatever makes you feel (and look) hot!

What’s your porn star wrestler name? Make it a delightful visual sound for our colour commentator!

Send me an email today with the answers to the questions above and we’ll put you into the program! Oh, and did I mention? There’ll be PRIZES!


Thursday, April 01, 2010

Group Masturbation

They were a couple a few years older than Jason and myself, each with a slight build and the eyes of apprehensive newcomers. He was a watcher, seemingly shy, she was bursting with inquisitiveness yet tamed down for her partner on this occasion.

The night was Jack & Jill, this past Monday evening. I watched them briefly before moving forward.

They grabbed a bed early on and laid out on it. He nude but his underwear, she in a delicate print on her bra and matching panties. Her smile was ferocious, his was a mere upward curve at the corners of his mouth.

Together they were talking in hushed voices to one another, in between bouts of kissing and heavy petting. People milled about, some masturbating, others riding sex machines and another couple on the bed next to this couple were already having sex.

Jason had popped off two orgasms already and it was time for us to have some frolic time with one another.

I asked the couple if we could join them on the bed. The man looked at his wife and promptly said yes. (I knew he would already) We started in doing it doggy style, me on the bed on all fours and Jason behind me. I asked the man on the bed if I could hold on to his leg. "Sure" was all he said, then he closed his eyes tight.

He started to finger his wife and she was groaning, I watched her intently as Jason was buried deep inside me. The man pulled her into the 69 position and they started going at one another furiously. I was still holding his leg while being screwed.

Suddenly I asked the woman if I could touch her and play with her breasts, she shoved her upper body towards me faster than the speed of light. I licked, nibbled and teased her. Jason had the birds eye view of it all.

She was working it hard, sucking his cock and jerking him with hand motions that were erratic. Jason hips were moving so rhythmically that I knew that soon he would be blowing his load.

I grabbed the woman by the hair pulling her head back, putting her ear next to my mouth. "You know you're a sex pot don't you? Your enjoying this all so much you hussy." Then as I pulled her head back even farther and noted her closed eyes I firmly said "open your eyes now!" "look at all the people watching you witnessing you be the steamy lover you are".

As her eyes opened she was met with the appreciative eyes of at least 15 or 16 people watching what was unfolding around them. The reality hit her, she was live porn in this moment. This loud groan escaped her mouth as she rocked herself hard all over her man. She came a few times, I am fairly certain.

As I let go of her I kissed the back of her neck and said thank you. Then wrapped my arms around Jason who was still behind me holding me tight. I stroked his head as we watched a threesome unfold in the bed next to us.

Lately it seems that we've been fortunate to have had the opportunity to introduce many newcomers to the Lounge and to sex in front of strangers.

The man wrote me two days later to say that since Jack & Jill they had been passionately rediscovering one another sexually non stop.

How sweet, to have facilitated something so positive for our new friends.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

All Things Sex [4]

A Gay BC MLA gets married and takes his husbands name. Damn I love my country.

In Federal politics, Canada makes more cuts to HIV vaccine research and halts plans on the vaccination production facility in Winnipeg.
Crazy stupid hey?

The man behind this pretty bondage pin-up site
is my good friend and Lounge member. Have a peek into his world as a professional "Pleasure Artist".

The Libido Events and Libido Lounge April calendar is now on-line, check out our busy schedule.

A Canadian health authority has enlisted the help of its target demographic to make an education video game about safe sex. The Sperminator is threatening the city, and only Captain Condom, Power Pap, Willy the Kid, and Wonder Vag, better known as 'The Sex Squad', can stop him from covering the world in his evil sperm. It's named Adventures in Sex City.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Naughty Party Fast Approaching

This is the monthly party that everyone loves as it has something for all interests and experience levels. You'll need to reserve your space, so do no so now...

There is even a Play Party Etiquette Class which kick starts the evening, if you so choose.

SATURDAY APRIL 3, 9:00 - 1:00 AM
Cost: $35 member / $60 couple / $40 guest of a member
Open to singles, couples, men and women alike

Please note that you must also have your $25 cash renewal cost on you if your member number is PRE 600. And your renewal is good for 12 months.

SPECIAL:: Vancouver based professional photographer with 20 years experience will have studio lighting and set at Libido Lounge and will be providing mini professional photo sessions. Would you like professional quality images of you in lingerie / fetish wear, or intimate couple portraits, or erotica? The mini photo session will produce approximately 30-50 images from which you can select two images to have edited and retouched in photoshop. All photos from session burned onto CD-ROM for $25.00 which you will leave with at nights end.

Naughty -- A members (and their guests) only play party

At the Naughty parties, anything can happen -- it probably did, at the last one -- and anything goes. Whether your fancy is gentle caressing, hardcore BDSM, sensation play, exhibitionism, voyeurism (no one is required to play), or simply bringing a partner (or two) and having sex in such a charged environment, Naughty is for you. With music turned up, we swing open the doors to our Membership body and let the good times flow.

Sex, Bondage, Slap & Tickle & Social Time

Our massage girl will be on site providing her sensuous erotic massages at $20 for 15 minutes. Sign up when you arrive.

Bring your own toys and towel.

Equipment: Six queen size beds, suspension frame, gyno table, bondage table, a set of stocks, a cage, a kneeler spanker, the red rocket, a rack, seven massage tables, one massage chair and a whole lot more.

++Our Sex Machine the Monkey Rocker will be set up with attachments on sale; they range in price from $25-$50 CASH and once you buy it, you just continue to bring it back to LL so that you can ride each and every visit on your own personal insertable. The Sybian will also be out and attachments can be purchased $75-$90. The ride is free; it is the attachment piece you must buy. We have a number in stock, both singles and double insertables.

The kitchen bitches will return and be keeping the snacks stocked all night long for you.

Dress Code: No street clothes, no business suits, no blue jeans, no running shoes, no athletic wear, no camouflage pants, no flannel robes, no sunglasses, and no face masks.

Monday, March 29, 2010

All Things Sex [3]

Consent in advance is a legal defense according to the Ontario Court Of Appeal.

My good friend Craig sent me this essay on Threesome's and its a good read.

I met Kelly at the Taboo Sex Show this past weekend. She's a smoking hot babe who has a gift with words and is smoldering as a sex pot in a corset. She gets bonus points for gifting me with a box of Purdy's chocolates. She and I will be getting more acquainted over the next few months.

You'll find me in Regina Saskatchewan the weekend of April 23-25 teaching. I'm not listed yet on their website but will be in short order.

Pride Toronto had plans on censoring the messages on banners/signs of those marching, but public outcry has changed this now.

I am looking to write a couple more classes on dating and picking up someone. Can you think of some other topics for classes that you would like to see me teach? If so, please send me an email at

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Night Out

We went out to a party recently and Jason took this photo of the baby and I before we took the little man to the sitters.

My groove has been found again and I am happily enjoying its return.