caregiving & on the mend

A few days have past and my head still throbs like a bad hangover and my nose is as congested as is possible. When I cough I need to hold my rib cage as I'm in that much discontent. And lest we forget that although a masochist in S/m play I'm simply just a small little girl when I'm this sick and not able to make the shift from cold /flu aches & pains to erotic, good pain, endorphin, thrill-seeking masochistic fun.

With all that said though I am feeling marginally better and able to actually move about now. This morning after returning from driving my daughter to school, I phoned kara on her cell at about 9:05 only to have her tell me that although she had driven all the way in to the city to drop papers off at work, she was now in her car, promptly driving herself home to bed. Sick! Yikes, could I have infected her as well? The decent, loving Top in me says, have you driven past my place yet on your way back home? No, kara replies, I'm still 10 minutes away.

How about you come here and lay on the sofa while I work for a few hours on the computer. sighs, ok, I'll be there shortly

10 minutes later, one sick girl on my door step and so sick that she too used the washroom to hurl in. Twice. Good thing for mouthwash. Off to the sofa she went, where I covered her in blankets, made her tea, and fed her daytime cold medicine. After 4 hours of loving, it was time to pack her up and send her on her way to her home and partner as I needed to head out to do some errands. Not thinking kara up for my errands, it was better to send her home.

Some of the things that I need to do professionally, I need to take care of during school hours, when my child is away. 9:00-3:00 Monday - Friday are when it's easiest for me to do business so once kara was gone I had a few stops to make before picking up my daughter from school.

Off to Safeway, then the bank and now we're back home. I'm at the computer in the dining room working and she is reading a book on the sofa quietly before dinner. I've a beautiful child who is one of those children that other parents and teachers all praise - she's a warm soul, seeking to support those who are most understood or alienated for some reason. Intelligent. A child who favors books, camping and sleeping cuddled up with her mother, I am blessed. I don't believe she is the way she is by accident, it is because of the choices that I made for her before she was old enough to be supported in making her own choices as a girl and as a tween now.

For the division that I keep in my life and have kept for years I am most grateful. My relationship with my daughter is that of a mother and not one that most can even have a scope for how it could look on me. Most are surprised - especially since my daughter, and our home life are so not representative of my activism.

Shortly I'll make dinner, and from the living room the sounds of a child taking first year band with a wind instrument will be heard. Later tonight we'll cuddle up on the sofa and I'll rub her back before bed, then at 9:45 Felicity is due here to help me work through some of the Sexpo's final details before next weeks opening night.

Don't forget to get your tickets early to save yourself money at the door. A listing of where tickets to the Vancouver Sexpo October 14, 15 & 16 can be purchased is viewable here.

Thanks to C from Seattle, Karin and Vicky for your emails of warm hugs, chicken soup and good wishes.

Jennifer