As you can likely imagine, my in box daily is inundated with emails ranging the spectrum of funny, absurd, sad, frustrating, complimentary, professional and personal.
Since the announcement of my pregnancy a new wave of mail has hit me with enough regularity to make me take notice.
You see, there is an acronym "MILF". Have you heard of it before? I suppose it's a compliment, yet it feels strange to be referred to in such a bold way by others. Many whom I know, and others that I do not.
Remember, I have a teenager already. I've been a mother for a long time, yet many people do not know or even see this side of me.
Yet another person emailed me the other day, saying I was the hottest MILF imaginable, and how first time motherhood was making me extra alluring to this person. They went on to say how attractive they have always found me but now it was over the top. I had to laugh.
I am not a first time mother and as such I guess this means that I have been a MILF for a long time now.
Ego pushed aside, I have excellent self esteem and my feelings about who I am are not wrapped up in how others see me, rather in how I see myself. I feel good about my appearance and have for longer than I can remember. I know I am attractive and I know many people find me to be sexy. I'm flattered.
Yet oddly it is weird to be thought of as a MILF hottie simply because I am pregnant. That my swelling belly, massive breasts and glowing skin are drawing people to notice me in a whole new way.
Jennifer ... Vancouver's Sex Educator, Sexuality Coach and Activist. The content of this blog is not suited for those under the age of 18. What you'll find here is a written account of my personal journey in sex positive culture both personally and professionally.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Long Lost Lover
I ventured out on my own to feet by two blocks this afternoon. No purse to weigh me down, just my phone, keys and bank card. It felt divine to be out of the house and not be wheeled about in a chair. I took it slow and made my way to the local produce store, then to the bakery. Feeling accomplished with my efforts, I sat briefly on a bench and rested before making the trek back.
As I got up from my seat, suddenly before me was a man who looked so familiar that I had to stop him. Not able to recollect who he was I was embarrassed calling out to this person, yet I was certain we had some history at some point in time.
It took a nano-second for he and I to realize we had been lovers sixteen perhaps seventeen years ago. Suddenly I could recall his home's location and what his bedroom looked like. He applauded my memory.
He's retired now from a prosperous career and living out in Mission. (I've always had a thing for older men) He is no longer as husky as I remembered him to be, but his tattoos and distinct facial features were all still in tact.
It was startling to see someone whom I had been intimate and catching up with him for five minutes was a pleasant reminder of my more youthful years when lovers came and went with great speed.
These days my partners are people for whom I plan on having on going sexual relationships with, if even infrequently.
Walking home I reminisced on all the lovers I could recall who had been pivotal in leading me into my own sexual empowerment, I counted the man I just ran into among them.
Then a block from home, I had a contraction that came out of no-where and startled me a little into worrying. I stopped walking and next to me was some black berry bushes. So I took a break and spent fifteen minutes picking berries and letting my uterus relax. Just as I was about to arrive back to the house, another contraction hit.
Groceries are on the counter now and perhaps later I shall make my way off of the sofa to put them in the fridge.
Want to do something special for yourself, or FOR ME? This is a service that I would greatly enjoy being gifted with and would appreciate right about like no other time in my life, seeing as my sex life is on hold and I am banned medically from house work.
As I got up from my seat, suddenly before me was a man who looked so familiar that I had to stop him. Not able to recollect who he was I was embarrassed calling out to this person, yet I was certain we had some history at some point in time.
It took a nano-second for he and I to realize we had been lovers sixteen perhaps seventeen years ago. Suddenly I could recall his home's location and what his bedroom looked like. He applauded my memory.
He's retired now from a prosperous career and living out in Mission. (I've always had a thing for older men) He is no longer as husky as I remembered him to be, but his tattoos and distinct facial features were all still in tact.
It was startling to see someone whom I had been intimate and catching up with him for five minutes was a pleasant reminder of my more youthful years when lovers came and went with great speed.
These days my partners are people for whom I plan on having on going sexual relationships with, if even infrequently.
Walking home I reminisced on all the lovers I could recall who had been pivotal in leading me into my own sexual empowerment, I counted the man I just ran into among them.
Then a block from home, I had a contraction that came out of no-where and startled me a little into worrying. I stopped walking and next to me was some black berry bushes. So I took a break and spent fifteen minutes picking berries and letting my uterus relax. Just as I was about to arrive back to the house, another contraction hit.
Groceries are on the counter now and perhaps later I shall make my way off of the sofa to put them in the fridge.
Want to do something special for yourself, or FOR ME? This is a service that I would greatly enjoy being gifted with and would appreciate right about like no other time in my life, seeing as my sex life is on hold and I am banned medically from house work.
Monday, August 10, 2009
State of my Cervix
After a troublesome past week and a half with pregnancy concerns today most certainly felt like a turning point. I was checked into the hospital way too early and settled into a bed on the maternity unit in the Labor & Delivery section as per doctors orders.
There were a couple of tests to be done and the most important one was the Fetal Fibronectin. Fetal fibronectin "leaks" into the vagina if a preterm delivery is likely to occur and can be measured in diagnostic test. A positive result would mean my spending the next almost three weeks confined to a bed in the hospital on full bed rest, a negative would mean would mean at home rest for the next few weeks.
I came out of the experience with a negative result and as such this means that I am 95% unlikely to have a preterm birth in the next two weeks. They will keep repeating this test every two weeks now until I actually girth birth, whenever that is.
A week from today I have another ultrasound to check on my amniotic fluid levels and next Wednesday I see the OB again.
Today I've had a few contractions but nothing consistent or even near regular, thankfully. I'm sick of resting yet so thrilled to be not living in a hospital so I am doing my best to lay low and only move about when there is no choice.
Ironically enough the hospital called this evening about our Family Tour which is fast approaching, though I already have now seen the Maternity ward a little too much lately and am unsure if the tour would even be valuable at this point.
Still no sex permitted and tomorrow I'll be talking to the doctor about when this will even be a possibility again. Let the countdown begin, I am starved for some sexual pleasure.
There were a couple of tests to be done and the most important one was the Fetal Fibronectin. Fetal fibronectin "leaks" into the vagina if a preterm delivery is likely to occur and can be measured in diagnostic test. A positive result would mean my spending the next almost three weeks confined to a bed in the hospital on full bed rest, a negative would mean would mean at home rest for the next few weeks.
I came out of the experience with a negative result and as such this means that I am 95% unlikely to have a preterm birth in the next two weeks. They will keep repeating this test every two weeks now until I actually girth birth, whenever that is.
A week from today I have another ultrasound to check on my amniotic fluid levels and next Wednesday I see the OB again.
Today I've had a few contractions but nothing consistent or even near regular, thankfully. I'm sick of resting yet so thrilled to be not living in a hospital so I am doing my best to lay low and only move about when there is no choice.
Ironically enough the hospital called this evening about our Family Tour which is fast approaching, though I already have now seen the Maternity ward a little too much lately and am unsure if the tour would even be valuable at this point.
Still no sex permitted and tomorrow I'll be talking to the doctor about when this will even be a possibility again. Let the countdown begin, I am starved for some sexual pleasure.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Sexual Frustration
As you most likely already know (unless of course you are completely new to reading here, or just plain clueless) I love sex, a lot.
Sex is such an incredible part of my life, I am in fact consumed by it. I teach about sex, I read about sex, I have sex with others, I have sex with myself and I think about sex, all-of-the-the-time. It is an integral part of who I am.
Imagine my dismay and horror when told over a week ago now to stop having sex. Like none. No intercourse, no masturbation, no orgasms, just go cold turkey and practice the A word. Abstinence.
Being that I am thirty six years old, the word abstinence is not really in my personal vocabulary any longer, not that it has been for some time anyways. The A word causes me great angst on many levels. But that's another post for another day.
As I am 22 weeks pregnant, leaking water, having contractions and spending time in the hospital one of the first things my OB said to Jason and I as he was discharging us, was to refrain from all sex.
I nodded complacently, as I was just relieved to be going home finally. However once home for a few days and snuggled next to my sweetie in our bed, late at night, naked, and pressed against one another, I wanted sex with a vengeance.
The answer was obviously no, however that did not change the desire coursing through me. Last night the hunger was so severe that I tried to persuade Jason to just slide himself inside of me gently, and let me fall asleep like that. No fucking, just simple penetration with no stroking. He would have none of that.
Frustration has kicked in, I have been offering him blow jobs, and he declines. His rationale - that I am not supposed to be doing anything strenuous. He won't even let me pleasure him, the denial is killing me.
Good god what I wouldn't do for a good screw right now. I recognize it's to dangerous to do at this stage in the pregnancy but that doesn't change the fact that my hormones are raging and I want him so badly that I am ready to pounce.
My mother in law has been staying below us in the guest room and that is not a deterrent either, I want sex that desperately.
There better be an end to this abstinence shortly, or I may just explode without any stimulation at all.
Tomorrow morning we are back int he hospital for a specialized test, and the results better be good, at least that is what I am praying for. That no premature delivery is imminent, and that sex can be put back on the menu.
Excuse me while I order:
One healthy baby boy
An appetizer of cunnilingus
A starter of fellatio
A main course of intercourse
Dessert of masturbation
Sex is such an incredible part of my life, I am in fact consumed by it. I teach about sex, I read about sex, I have sex with others, I have sex with myself and I think about sex, all-of-the-the-time. It is an integral part of who I am.
Imagine my dismay and horror when told over a week ago now to stop having sex. Like none. No intercourse, no masturbation, no orgasms, just go cold turkey and practice the A word. Abstinence.
Being that I am thirty six years old, the word abstinence is not really in my personal vocabulary any longer, not that it has been for some time anyways. The A word causes me great angst on many levels. But that's another post for another day.
As I am 22 weeks pregnant, leaking water, having contractions and spending time in the hospital one of the first things my OB said to Jason and I as he was discharging us, was to refrain from all sex.
I nodded complacently, as I was just relieved to be going home finally. However once home for a few days and snuggled next to my sweetie in our bed, late at night, naked, and pressed against one another, I wanted sex with a vengeance.
The answer was obviously no, however that did not change the desire coursing through me. Last night the hunger was so severe that I tried to persuade Jason to just slide himself inside of me gently, and let me fall asleep like that. No fucking, just simple penetration with no stroking. He would have none of that.
Frustration has kicked in, I have been offering him blow jobs, and he declines. His rationale - that I am not supposed to be doing anything strenuous. He won't even let me pleasure him, the denial is killing me.
Good god what I wouldn't do for a good screw right now. I recognize it's to dangerous to do at this stage in the pregnancy but that doesn't change the fact that my hormones are raging and I want him so badly that I am ready to pounce.
My mother in law has been staying below us in the guest room and that is not a deterrent either, I want sex that desperately.
There better be an end to this abstinence shortly, or I may just explode without any stimulation at all.
Tomorrow morning we are back int he hospital for a specialized test, and the results better be good, at least that is what I am praying for. That no premature delivery is imminent, and that sex can be put back on the menu.
Excuse me while I order:
One healthy baby boy
An appetizer of cunnilingus
A starter of fellatio
A main course of intercourse
Dessert of masturbation
Friday, August 07, 2009
Blow Up Doll
The first photo is my good friends P. penis, wearing googly eyes none the less. His girlfriend sent it along to me after we all were discussing her creativeness in donning his pecker with crafting supplies. The man's penis has girth that is quite impressive, many have met it in person and been in awe.
This second amusing photo was taken Pre Pride, in a Mc Donalds parking lot at Boundary and Lougheed which is where we assembled our vehicle and props with a group of friends. The man in the pink hat, is blowing up Barak. The whole matter had us laughing greatly, it was 9 AM on a Sunday morning too.
I'd write more, but hey, apparently I am having premature labor, as told to me by the doctor in the hospital. Yup, another visit to visit Labor & Delivery this afternoon. It's all the effort I can muster to avoid stress and any work right now.
Thursday, August 06, 2009
Hodge Podge of Stuff
Cute story that came in email from a girl friend that brought a big smile to my face.
I have been putting off dealing with an issue that is rather distressing to me. I was faced with it a few days ago, but thanks to bed rest on doctors orders and being told to relax and not get riled up putting this item to the back burner has been necessary. Which is good because it has given me time to calm myself down and sort through my thought process on how to address the problem.
A most unique link has shown up in a variety of places in the last 24 hours, so I'll just thank David for leading me to it. It's swimwear/undergarments for the um, well....aroused man. If you are man and are looking for party ware, or someone outfit your male partner for bedroom play, I highly recommend their products for the stunning visuals they provide.
My mother-in-law arrives tomorrow for a few days.
Tomorrow night is Speed Dating at The Lounge. $40 for men, and $10 for women and BYOB, (beer and wine only) Dress to impress, this is for Lounge members only. There are still some spots left for you to reserve, so get on it. 8 pm - 11pm / jennifer@libidoevents.com
We found a camper for our camp out, thank you everyone who wrote me with gracious offers.
I need a local photographer to do some head shots of me in the next week, or two. I am able to come to you, or if it suits you better, we can use Libido Lounge. Drop me an email if your available to assist me with this. Thanks.
This morning for breakfast I ate a large slice of Mango cake, courtesy of Renee. It was delicious. I only did this to make the baby happy though.
" not sure how Christopher and I started talking about this. I think we were discussing babies or something and I mentioned how your little one has been nicknamed "Pickles" and he says "Why Pickles?" My reply was "well, they have just nicknamed him that until they find a forever name for him." He looks at me and says "they could call him Gold (just while in the belly)." I question and say "Why Gold?" His response was "Well, when he's born - he'll be priceless."
I have been putting off dealing with an issue that is rather distressing to me. I was faced with it a few days ago, but thanks to bed rest on doctors orders and being told to relax and not get riled up putting this item to the back burner has been necessary. Which is good because it has given me time to calm myself down and sort through my thought process on how to address the problem.
A most unique link has shown up in a variety of places in the last 24 hours, so I'll just thank David for leading me to it. It's swimwear/undergarments for the um, well....aroused man. If you are man and are looking for party ware, or someone outfit your male partner for bedroom play, I highly recommend their products for the stunning visuals they provide.
My mother-in-law arrives tomorrow for a few days.
Tomorrow night is Speed Dating at The Lounge. $40 for men, and $10 for women and BYOB, (beer and wine only) Dress to impress, this is for Lounge members only. There are still some spots left for you to reserve, so get on it. 8 pm - 11pm / jennifer@libidoevents.com
We found a camper for our camp out, thank you everyone who wrote me with gracious offers.
I need a local photographer to do some head shots of me in the next week, or two. I am able to come to you, or if it suits you better, we can use Libido Lounge. Drop me an email if your available to assist me with this. Thanks.
This morning for breakfast I ate a large slice of Mango cake, courtesy of Renee. It was delicious. I only did this to make the baby happy though.
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Loose Ends
Tonight is Deviant Dining, its a Drop In event, come by and have dinner with us all. Spicy conversations, sexy people and a night out for you.
Further, here are a few more photos from Sundays Pride Parade for you....
The first
Second
Third
Thanks David for sourcing these out for me.
Doors Open @ 7:00
Dinner Served @ 7:30
Ends @ 9:00
*$10 Member
*$15 Non Member
*Life Time Members $5
Open to All Genders, Couples and Singles
Our popular social dinner event, come meet the other members and enjoy a decadent evening of food and friends.
BRING A DISH that serves Generously 4-6 & we'll take care of the rest of the fine details! Exquisite Company. Sultry dinner conversations.
Further, here are a few more photos from Sundays Pride Parade for you....
The first
Second
Third
Thanks David for sourcing these out for me.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
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Pride Vancouver Photos 2009
Ok, so I am trying to upload some photos and Blogger is not able to handle the request at this time. Grrr, this is frustrating me.
Check back in a couple of hours and there will be a whole bevy of photos here.
And hey, if you took any of our entry our myself, please send them along to me for my collection.
Check back in a couple of hours and there will be a whole bevy of photos here.
And hey, if you took any of our entry our myself, please send them along to me for my collection.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Being Gay
Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be gay? Well, you need to know.
I guarantee that after watching the clip below you will have a whole new level of empathy for the challenges faced by those who are gay/queer/trans/bi.
This video will really help you to step into someone else's shoes before you choose to judge, hate and condemn.
Spend a few minutes and watch this entire YouTube video.
Happy Pride everyone. Educate, liberate and celebrate.
I guarantee that after watching the clip below you will have a whole new level of empathy for the challenges faced by those who are gay/queer/trans/bi.
This video will really help you to step into someone else's shoes before you choose to judge, hate and condemn.
Spend a few minutes and watch this entire YouTube video.
Happy Pride everyone. Educate, liberate and celebrate.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Blog Readership
I watch the stats on my blogs page to see how my readership is doing. Checking in on this data a couple of times each week. I also check to see how people find me using a feature that tells me from what referring link sent them along or what key words they were searching when running across me. I also check on regular viewer statistics and of course new readers as well.
With all this information available at my fingertips, it does make me wonder.
Would you drop me an email and tell me why you read this blog and for how long you've been reading? I am most curious and would like to hear from people.
Thanks.
jennifer@libidoevents.com
With all this information available at my fingertips, it does make me wonder.
Would you drop me an email and tell me why you read this blog and for how long you've been reading? I am most curious and would like to hear from people.
Thanks.
jennifer@libidoevents.com
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Griffin Gillan [Constable]
Yet another injustice. Our legal system has been on a down hill slide for some time.
A story posted by CBC about Const. Griffin Gillan serves to remind the general public that many of our publicly serving police officers have criminal records and are able to use there position to their advantage when it comes to committing crimes.
It is evident that officers, Gillan the most recent, can beat and rob a man and face a mere 21 days of home lock down in the evenings for his actions. Disgusting and not a punishment worthy of the crime.
How is anyone to trust an officer that may pull you over, or interview you over something, some day, some where. I have so little faith in police officers these days. You simply can not trust them, not in BC.
In our province of great cultural diversity one must be sensitive to minorities and as Gillan beat this poor 47 year old newspaper delivery man, he screamed racial slurs, and taunted the man by saying getting anyone to call the police was pointless, because he was the police.
Gillan's excuse, 20 drinks at bars over the course of the evening in question and a black out of all the events that transpired.
You know what you should be disgusted with? Have disgust for a legal system that failed to reprimand him fairly. Have disgust for Gillan, and his not apologizing for his actions. Have disgust for Gillan's drinking habits. Have disgust for the West Vancouver Police force where he is employed, particularly if they allow him back to the force after his probation.
Read up on the *very* brief PDF on the Standards of Conduct for the West Vancouver Police.
Write a letter on your feelings surrounding the Gillan case, and let the powers that be know how you feel about this officer returning to work, OR NOT.
Lest we forget that the West Van Police Force is the same one that permitted drinking at the station by officers one of whom was a female officer and driving while impaired. This was just a short while ago, oh yes, her name ... Lisa Alford.
Alford took sick leave after the incident or more aptly called CRIME so as she could collect her salary on the tax payers dime, despite the conduct she was sworn to uphold being thrown to the way side for her own personal agenda. Drunk at a police station and then drunk driving.
WVPF needs to clean up it's officers and find a way to enforce the law to it's own people. The cops.
A story posted by CBC about Const. Griffin Gillan serves to remind the general public that many of our publicly serving police officers have criminal records and are able to use there position to their advantage when it comes to committing crimes.
It is evident that officers, Gillan the most recent, can beat and rob a man and face a mere 21 days of home lock down in the evenings for his actions. Disgusting and not a punishment worthy of the crime.
How is anyone to trust an officer that may pull you over, or interview you over something, some day, some where. I have so little faith in police officers these days. You simply can not trust them, not in BC.
In our province of great cultural diversity one must be sensitive to minorities and as Gillan beat this poor 47 year old newspaper delivery man, he screamed racial slurs, and taunted the man by saying getting anyone to call the police was pointless, because he was the police.
Gillan's excuse, 20 drinks at bars over the course of the evening in question and a black out of all the events that transpired.
You know what you should be disgusted with? Have disgust for a legal system that failed to reprimand him fairly. Have disgust for Gillan, and his not apologizing for his actions. Have disgust for Gillan's drinking habits. Have disgust for the West Vancouver Police force where he is employed, particularly if they allow him back to the force after his probation.
Read up on the *very* brief PDF on the Standards of Conduct for the West Vancouver Police.
Write a letter on your feelings surrounding the Gillan case, and let the powers that be know how you feel about this officer returning to work, OR NOT.
Lest we forget that the West Van Police Force is the same one that permitted drinking at the station by officers one of whom was a female officer and driving while impaired. This was just a short while ago, oh yes, her name ... Lisa Alford.
Alford took sick leave after the incident or more aptly called CRIME so as she could collect her salary on the tax payers dime, despite the conduct she was sworn to uphold being thrown to the way side for her own personal agenda. Drunk at a police station and then drunk driving.
WVPF needs to clean up it's officers and find a way to enforce the law to it's own people. The cops.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Help a Girl Out
I need your assistance dear readers, surely one of you can help me out.
We are going away for a week, a whole seven days and seven nights. We are off camping amongst friends. This is a yearly trip that we make and we are always most excited about making the trek and spending time alongside our peeps.
This year though I'm pregnant. And by the time we go camping in September I will be just over six months along. A tent is not an option. There is a large trailer we can borrow but truth be told, it is just too big for our needs and for our Jeep to tow.
We are looking for a camper that can be loaned, rented or bartered privately. Something big enough for two people and that has a good bed in it. We do not need a kitchen, toilet, or anything fancy.
This camper can be a camper van, or a small tow vehicle.
Can you help, do you possess such an item in your garage or carport?
I can bribe you with a small amount of cash, alcohol, membership to The Lounge, free event tickets or perhaps something else yet to be determined.
If you have what I am seeking can you please send me an email ASAP, with the campers particulars and your contact info? Sending a photo of it would sure be awesome too.
You can reach me at jennifer@libidoevents.com
We are going away for a week, a whole seven days and seven nights. We are off camping amongst friends. This is a yearly trip that we make and we are always most excited about making the trek and spending time alongside our peeps.
This year though I'm pregnant. And by the time we go camping in September I will be just over six months along. A tent is not an option. There is a large trailer we can borrow but truth be told, it is just too big for our needs and for our Jeep to tow.
We are looking for a camper that can be loaned, rented or bartered privately. Something big enough for two people and that has a good bed in it. We do not need a kitchen, toilet, or anything fancy.
This camper can be a camper van, or a small tow vehicle.
Can you help, do you possess such an item in your garage or carport?
I can bribe you with a small amount of cash, alcohol, membership to The Lounge, free event tickets or perhaps something else yet to be determined.
If you have what I am seeking can you please send me an email ASAP, with the campers particulars and your contact info? Sending a photo of it would sure be awesome too.
You can reach me at jennifer@libidoevents.com
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Coed Masturbation Vancouver
As I was driving this afternoon I found myself chuckling at what is my reality. On my back seat was 1200 give away items for this weekends Pride Parade, and all donated too, along with three most unusual large props. If I had been in a car accident they medics would have wondered what in the hell they had encountered as surely the contents of my vehicle would have them believing I was one randy woman.
Then later on I stopped at Shoppers Drug Mart, I have been shopping in the same one for eighteen years now and am rather well known there. While at the till one of the older clerks came walking up to me with a sly smile on her face and explained "it certainly appears as though you are...um....well....expecting". Yes you're right, and I am due in December, she was so happy to recognize my baby bump and elated for me all at once.
A stop off at The Lounge to deliver the contents of my back seat, and then I quickly retreated to my favorite day spa. It was time for a pedicure, air conditioning and the best massage of my feet and calves that I could have asked for.
A little shopping for new shoes, the perfect pair too as they match a dress I just bought. This made me quite happy.
Back to The Lounge and I set up for Jack & Jill. It was a busy night, with some members out even at their first event. The a/c was on, the place was filled with sexy people and the festivities began with ease. Even the new people found themselves with some action.
For me I was somewhat in demand. Hell for a pregnant woman, I sure get a lot of action. Two women graciously allowed me to give them orgasms, while another woman and I had an orgasm war. Who could ask for anything better, well I suppose watching yet another woman pop the cherry of one of our newest members was also a highlight. The underwear on our male guests were super sexy, most of the women were in lingerie that would have you salivating and the time just flew by as I witnessed one person after another getting off. Some people even multiple times.
Days like this are good as I am grateful to be able to do what I love for work and be able to do it so well. The baby, myself and my family are happy and healthy. I returned home at the end of a long and varied day to our new house, and was greeted by warm emails from friends along with the familiarity of a place that is my retreat from the hectic life I lead.
Tomorrow is another day and without doubt it to will be filled with activities that most would consider unusual, yet for me is a just another ordinary another day.
Then later on I stopped at Shoppers Drug Mart, I have been shopping in the same one for eighteen years now and am rather well known there. While at the till one of the older clerks came walking up to me with a sly smile on her face and explained "it certainly appears as though you are...um....well....expecting". Yes you're right, and I am due in December, she was so happy to recognize my baby bump and elated for me all at once.
A stop off at The Lounge to deliver the contents of my back seat, and then I quickly retreated to my favorite day spa. It was time for a pedicure, air conditioning and the best massage of my feet and calves that I could have asked for.
A little shopping for new shoes, the perfect pair too as they match a dress I just bought. This made me quite happy.
Back to The Lounge and I set up for Jack & Jill. It was a busy night, with some members out even at their first event. The a/c was on, the place was filled with sexy people and the festivities began with ease. Even the new people found themselves with some action.
For me I was somewhat in demand. Hell for a pregnant woman, I sure get a lot of action. Two women graciously allowed me to give them orgasms, while another woman and I had an orgasm war. Who could ask for anything better, well I suppose watching yet another woman pop the cherry of one of our newest members was also a highlight. The underwear on our male guests were super sexy, most of the women were in lingerie that would have you salivating and the time just flew by as I witnessed one person after another getting off. Some people even multiple times.
Days like this are good as I am grateful to be able to do what I love for work and be able to do it so well. The baby, myself and my family are happy and healthy. I returned home at the end of a long and varied day to our new house, and was greeted by warm emails from friends along with the familiarity of a place that is my retreat from the hectic life I lead.
Tomorrow is another day and without doubt it to will be filled with activities that most would consider unusual, yet for me is a just another ordinary another day.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Creating Change
A recent post on a message board has had me thinking about issues that normally I wouldn't put energy into mulling over.
Why does the [out] BDSM community struggle so much with keeping new people coming back?
It seems at first glance for there to be more people involved in BDSM play than ever before in our society. Yet for the fewer number of people who "try out" a public function, the numbers go down exponentially for repeat visits.
Vancouver's BDSM community has been aptly called "high school for adults".
Numerous factors work together to ensure people not return to the public events that exist, let's examine some of the more obvious ones that spring to mind:
It it obvious though to me as someone with a documented over ten years out in the public sex/ BDSM / alternative sexuality /polyamory communities, that the malicious bitter people can be found everywhere.
Any person who tells you gossip or hearsay is to be avoided, and cliques are the surest way to know for certain that someone is entrenched in the state of affairs that so negatively impact on those involved in our culture.
Want to get involved in BDSM and meet others? You can do so but remember that like in high school there are good students and schools, and then there are those that are the drop outs.
Don't worry, you'll recognize the drop outs. And more stellar are those to know who spout nothing about any one and always dance to their own beat while exuding personal success.
Why does the [out] BDSM community struggle so much with keeping new people coming back?
It seems at first glance for there to be more people involved in BDSM play than ever before in our society. Yet for the fewer number of people who "try out" a public function, the numbers go down exponentially for repeat visits.
Vancouver's BDSM community has been aptly called "high school for adults".
Numerous factors work together to ensure people not return to the public events that exist, let's examine some of the more obvious ones that spring to mind:
- environment of spaces that are rented and utilized: spacious sure, yet nasty, lacking classiness and with no ambiance
- many people are rather harsh, fringe, clique involved and filled with do as I say not as I do attitudes
- public venues that invite spectators to be able to view you as fodder
- drug use at events and alcohol use that makes what is already edgy play look risky as hell
- huge fluctuation in attendance numbers
- a physical "look" that is quite disturbing in respect to many of the regulars that contrasts greatly with how the public looks generally speaking
- types of play permitted and how this looks to new comers
- unclear or not posted play rules that are not enforced equally for all
- lack of a business and/or professional look to what is going on, looks rather clandestine
- on line drama between "regulars" that is read my many
- narrow mindedness in terms of how people play and comment on others activities
- gossip that is designed to alienate, make others feel important, and bash anything or anyone that conflicts with the cliques agenda
- too many titles and honorifics being utilized by those with any position of authority and for those with none, hoping for an ego boost by introducing themselves as (Lord, Sir, Master, Goddess, King Shit Know-It-All, Mistress)
- people inflating their experience levels as an attempt to appear to the lay person as more knowledgeable than they truly are (their skill sets inevitably show through)
It it obvious though to me as someone with a documented over ten years out in the public sex/ BDSM / alternative sexuality /polyamory communities, that the malicious bitter people can be found everywhere.
Any person who tells you gossip or hearsay is to be avoided, and cliques are the surest way to know for certain that someone is entrenched in the state of affairs that so negatively impact on those involved in our culture.
Want to get involved in BDSM and meet others? You can do so but remember that like in high school there are good students and schools, and then there are those that are the drop outs.
Don't worry, you'll recognize the drop outs. And more stellar are those to know who spout nothing about any one and always dance to their own beat while exuding personal success.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Firsts
We were alone in the house this afternoon after a busy afternoon of running around with errands for work and home. Naked we christened our den for the first time, with some hot sex. Long overdue. Then we went and had a cool shower to rid ourselves of sweat and freshen up. The futon is a little small though we are acquiring a new bed for that room in two weeks, so things are looking up for certain.
The teenager was sitting on our bed tonight talking with us, while massaging my belly when suddenly she felt the baby move. This was a first and such a huge big deal for us all. I've been feeling the baby move for about two and half weeks, Jason for about a week and a half, and now finally my daughter has felt the kicks too.
Life is great.
The teenager was sitting on our bed tonight talking with us, while massaging my belly when suddenly she felt the baby move. This was a first and such a huge big deal for us all. I've been feeling the baby move for about two and half weeks, Jason for about a week and a half, and now finally my daughter has felt the kicks too.
Life is great.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
My life in a nut shell
Yesterday was such a busy day at home, then I had to go to work. First a private coaching session with a lovely gentleman whom I have known for years, that went rather well. Then Exploratorium our BDSM sampler event, and all the volunteers and attendees to contend with.
Today is even busier. Jason wanted to go berry picking, but I had to decline. I really need to save my energy for this evening as I have two big events going on. So this afternoon was lawn mowing, driveway painting and packing for my evening.
Tonight I have a two hour private class with a dozen women for a bachelorette party; a combo class on cock sucking and how to achieve an orgasm for women. Then drive straight to the Lounge for our Naughty party which will already be well underway.
What a delicate balancing act I play with time and bookings.
By tomorrow I should be wiped right out. And yeah, we have plans for Sunday too. No rest for the wicked.
Today is even busier. Jason wanted to go berry picking, but I had to decline. I really need to save my energy for this evening as I have two big events going on. So this afternoon was lawn mowing, driveway painting and packing for my evening.
Tonight I have a two hour private class with a dozen women for a bachelorette party; a combo class on cock sucking and how to achieve an orgasm for women. Then drive straight to the Lounge for our Naughty party which will already be well underway.
What a delicate balancing act I play with time and bookings.
By tomorrow I should be wiped right out. And yeah, we have plans for Sunday too. No rest for the wicked.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Forgiveness
I'm caught up in self this evening, working through old feelings and experiences wondering what's to happen next.
I was surprised recently by an old acquaintance who reminded me of our past together, not that it really could have been forgotten as it's almost always playing a part in my current life, our years entangled.
This journal is personal, it is where I often come to work out ideas and emotions I am going through and other times where I share my joys and successes. My blog is intermixed with professional writings at times, but always it is personally mine.
It would be nice to have had a ready answer to the question asked of me, yet I stumbled over the words and perhaps the sentiment of sincerity. Not disbelieving, rather somehow confused as to what an end would be like.
Time has jaded me, my memory clouded by hurt, objectification, and a sense of loss for what could have been.
Dearly I wish to erase the horrors created by all of us, alas I am not capable of such things.
Can it be done by a duo, or does it take the masses to believe as well?
It only takes one person to embark on a journey, though the more people along for the trek the easier it is to navigate.
Hurt has many faces, regret is recognizable.
The written word lacks substance for matters truly important.
The look of compassion seen when looking into a persons eyes is what makes things real for me.
I was surprised recently by an old acquaintance who reminded me of our past together, not that it really could have been forgotten as it's almost always playing a part in my current life, our years entangled.
This journal is personal, it is where I often come to work out ideas and emotions I am going through and other times where I share my joys and successes. My blog is intermixed with professional writings at times, but always it is personally mine.
It would be nice to have had a ready answer to the question asked of me, yet I stumbled over the words and perhaps the sentiment of sincerity. Not disbelieving, rather somehow confused as to what an end would be like.
Time has jaded me, my memory clouded by hurt, objectification, and a sense of loss for what could have been.
Dearly I wish to erase the horrors created by all of us, alas I am not capable of such things.
Moving forward without looking back, creating change, being a part of positive change, what a refreshing idea.Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.
Can it be done by a duo, or does it take the masses to believe as well?
It only takes one person to embark on a journey, though the more people along for the trek the easier it is to navigate.
Hurt has many faces, regret is recognizable.
The written word lacks substance for matters truly important.
The look of compassion seen when looking into a persons eyes is what makes things real for me.
Pride Vancouver 2009
Sat in on an on-line webinar this evening that was a mandatory meeting for all Pride Parade participants.
Thus far we have coordinated our volunteers, plotted our signage, reserved a vehicle, obtained corporate sponsorship, obtained bountiful private support, agreed upon volunteer attire for a uniform look and networked with outside entities regarding donated decorations.
There is still plenty to get done, but hey, we are well on our way.
The Pride Parade is Sunday August 2, hopefully we'll see one another there.
Thus far we have coordinated our volunteers, plotted our signage, reserved a vehicle, obtained corporate sponsorship, obtained bountiful private support, agreed upon volunteer attire for a uniform look and networked with outside entities regarding donated decorations.
There is still plenty to get done, but hey, we are well on our way.
The Pride Parade is Sunday August 2, hopefully we'll see one another there.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Bondage & Fire Play
Restraining Order is the Lounges informal bondage night and tonight for three hours everyone gathered together to hang out and do some bondage.
A long time friend attended, and since Jason was busy self suspending himself I made the decision to play with Jeff. (a pseudonym)
I bound him to the top of our long padded bondage cage with multiple strands of pink and greeen 8 mm hemp rope. Face up, legs splayed, arms tightly bent, and each limb independently anchored down to render him immobilized.
I plugged in my violet wand, and ran it over his balls ... he writhed. I laughed. Then as I ran it over the sisal I had tied his balls with, the rope caught fire. Just-a-little. A small wee bit of smoke, some sparks and the smell of burnt rope. And maybe the smell of burnt pubes.
It was sort of amusing, watching the look of horror on his face and he fretted over whether or not his jewels were about to be fried. So not the case. By turning off the wand, the fire went out immediately.
He lived, was not burned and even enjoyed our play scene. Some times the play that is the most fun, is the stuff that is not planned or orchestrated.
A long time friend attended, and since Jason was busy self suspending himself I made the decision to play with Jeff. (a pseudonym)
I bound him to the top of our long padded bondage cage with multiple strands of pink and greeen 8 mm hemp rope. Face up, legs splayed, arms tightly bent, and each limb independently anchored down to render him immobilized.
I plugged in my violet wand, and ran it over his balls ... he writhed. I laughed. Then as I ran it over the sisal I had tied his balls with, the rope caught fire. Just-a-little. A small wee bit of smoke, some sparks and the smell of burnt rope. And maybe the smell of burnt pubes.
It was sort of amusing, watching the look of horror on his face and he fretted over whether or not his jewels were about to be fried. So not the case. By turning off the wand, the fire went out immediately.
He lived, was not burned and even enjoyed our play scene. Some times the play that is the most fun, is the stuff that is not planned or orchestrated.
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