Sunday, August 09, 2009

Sexual Frustration

As you most likely already know (unless of course you are completely new to reading here, or just plain clueless) I love sex, a lot.

Sex is such an incredible part of my life, I am in fact consumed by it. I teach about sex, I read about sex, I have sex with others, I have sex with myself and I think about sex, all-of-the-the-time. It is an integral part of who I am.

Imagine my dismay and horror when told over a week ago now to stop having sex. Like none. No intercourse, no masturbation, no orgasms, just go cold turkey and practice the A word. Abstinence.

Being that I am thirty six years old, the word abstinence is not really in my personal vocabulary any longer, not that it has been for some time anyways. The A word causes me great angst on many levels. But that's another post for another day.

As I am 22 weeks pregnant, leaking water, having contractions and spending time in the hospital one of the first things my OB said to Jason and I as he was discharging us, was to refrain from all sex.

I nodded complacently, as I was just relieved to be going home finally. However once home for a few days and snuggled next to my sweetie in our bed, late at night, naked, and pressed against one another, I wanted sex with a vengeance.

The answer was obviously no, however that did not change the desire coursing through me. Last night the hunger was so severe that I tried to persuade Jason to just slide himself inside of me gently, and let me fall asleep like that. No fucking, just simple penetration with no stroking. He would have none of that.

Frustration has kicked in, I have been offering him blow jobs, and he declines. His rationale - that I am not supposed to be doing anything strenuous. He won't even let me pleasure him, the denial is killing me.

Good god what I wouldn't do for a good screw right now. I recognize it's to dangerous to do at this stage in the pregnancy but that doesn't change the fact that my hormones are raging and I want him so badly that I am ready to pounce.

My mother in law has been staying below us in the guest room and that is not a deterrent either, I want sex that desperately.

There better be an end to this abstinence shortly, or I may just explode without any stimulation at all.

Tomorrow morning we are back int he hospital for a specialized test, and the results better be good, at least that is what I am praying for. That no premature delivery is imminent, and that sex can be put back on the menu.

Excuse me while I order:

One healthy baby boy
An appetizer of cunnilingus
A starter of fellatio
A main course of intercourse
Dessert of masturbation