A Funny Thing Happened On...

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to a Wedding


My girlfriend phoned with the news that we’d been invited to her best friend’s wedding on a cruise ship in Vancouver. “I hate weddings,” I muttered to myself. But knowing there was no way out of this one, I suggested we leave Chicago a few days early to explore some of the great northwest. We never did make it to the summit of Mt. Rainier or arrange tea and crumpets in Victoria with the Queen. But, to our great surprise, we wound up instead exploring our most intimate sexual biases.

“When you drip hot wax on the naked body,” Jennifer, the enthusiastic workshop facilitator and head of Vancouver’s “Libido Events” said as she demonstrated, “start with the candle held high, like this, so the wax has a chance to cool down a bit before it hits.” “YOW!” I lunged into the air as a few drops of molten wax splattered across my back. If that was “cooled down,” I didn’t need to find out what it was going to feel like up close and personal.

Neither Debbie nor I had ever before experienced any form of sexual “pain for pleasure,” S/M, bondage or the like. But here we were, naked among naked strangers being scalded, frozen, tied up, whipped and beaten – well…“paddled.” We felt a little guilty at first – not getting it – failing to connect with the potential erotic thrill of it all. But instead of being pressured by the group to go further until we felt “it,” we were made to feel appreciated for trying something new. The new activities continued to seem strange, but the strangers surrounding us soon began to feel like friends.

Debbie and I had stumbled onto what the workshop leaders called a “sex positive community.” Apparently unique to the northwest from San Francisco to Vancouver (a Google search of “sex positive Chicago,” LA and New York revealed nothing), sex positive communities are comprised of individuals who identify themselves as hetero, gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans-gendered, she-male, swingers, polyamorists and/or fetishists of all stripes who come together to learn from each other, play together and explore their erotic/spiritual potentials.

“In the early days, nobody trusted anybody else,” offered Allena and Jim, poly life-partners with Jennifer and founders of Seattle’s “Wet Spot.” “The gays wouldn’t mix with lesbians or bisexuals let alone straights. The swingers wanted nothing to do with the hard-core S/M folks. Everybody held on tightly to their own particular labels and group identities to the exclusion of everyone else. Nobody yet realized the political strength in numbers.”


Allena told us that early on, she had owned a coffee house which attracted, among others, sexual adventurers of several varieties. When the coffee house went out of business, those who had begun to dialogue over java and across sexual orientations refused to relinquish the opportunity they had created to explore and play together. Subsequently, a string of new locations were tried and abandoned until the Wet Spot was born.

“But even after the various groups began sitting down together,” according to Jim, “resistance continued with everybody defining themselves in terms of what they wouldn’t do. ‘I’ll attend a meeting or tie somebody up but I don’t do any of that gay stuff.’ There’s still resistance, but the labels and barriers are slowly coming down.” Continued Allena, “People came and loosened up and tried things they never thought they would ever try, simply because the environment was so friendly, safe and inviting.” “In a lot of cases,” Jennifer added, “they found that some of what they had been shutting out actually held erotic potential for them.”

Debbie and I marveled at what we saw as we looked around the smoke, drug and alcohol-free room, noticing two women of different racial backgrounds snuggling in one corner; an older male/female couple enjoying sex with a much younger woman; two men sharing a rope, a whip and a rack; a young “man” discussing the stages he was going through on his way to becoming a woman, and a dance floor filled with partially clothed and naked bodies of various ages, shapes and designs, revealing tattooed torsos and branded behinds.

Nowhere did we see people “coming on to” others or being offensive in any way. People politely brought each other lemonade and candy from the free community stash and demonstrated respect for each other in a hundred other ways. The activities people chose to participate in were those with the greatest potential for satisfying their particular sexual desires while all around them, others with differing sexual interests, were pursuing far different sexual pleasures. Everywhere we looked, people were busy going about the business of maximizing their own erotic/spiritual potential while respectfully acknowledging everyone else’s right to do the same. It was as if Debbie and I had landed in a little corner of sexual heaven. I surmised that in a world of erotic harmony, the only label needed would be “sex positive.”

After three days of amazing sexual exploration, we finally made it to the wedding which of course turned out to be a bigger challenge of my endurance than anything Jennifer had to offer. But now, better able than before to access my spiritual core, I placed everything in loving perspective, and as a result, was able to rise nicely to the occasion. Later that evening, drawing on all we had learned, Debbie and I made love spectacularly for what seemed like hours. As we held each other in the afterglow, I couldn’t help but wonder if the newlyweds were having it this good.

Copyright 2006 Craig
Reprint with permission

wanted

today I taught a class for Opt in Vancouver
(short for: Options for Sexual Health, formerly Planned Parenthood)

I was brought in to do a presentation on bisexuality and polyamory, the class went very well and once over, I was asked to return again later this month to teach as part of their educate the educators series. Thoroughly enjoyed the chance to share my experiences with individuals who were hungry for ""real life" sex education and whose attention was focused on learning for the sake of educating oneself, not for titillation.

There were a number of people in the room who they themselves identified as poly or bi, the hands shot up about me as I asked the question. I found each hand to be a powerful reminder that our numbers are on the climb.

Five years ago if I was in a room full of people and asked for a show of hands for either bi sexuality or polyamory, one hand, if any may have been raised. (and a whole room full of people would have looked at me with a puzzled look as those words were once foreign to most people) Now, all these years later, we are growing in numbers and we're everywhere. I'm proud to be bi, polyamorous and out about who I am.

This afternoon was spent on the phone taking care of final planning details with the Tyra Banks show as they've been working with me for about a week and a half trying to negotiate terms and such for an upcoming episode that I'm to be on.

Like Opt, the Tyra Banks show wants me for my identity and a huge part of it.

Wet

This evening I teach SM 101 - A Little More Than A Slap & A Tickle at the Love Nest on the North Shore. Bags are packed and I've already had a soak in the tub to relax.

A few minutes ago I found myself with some serious pent up sex energy that needed to be let loose, so off I went into my bedroom and laid myself out on the bed for some solo play.

(door locked and music playing to drown out the noises as child is home on summer holidays and the Hitatchi is not a quiet source of pleasure ALTHOUGH an amazing source of pleasure and orgasms for yours truly)

The hunt for the big O was on. Successfully I coaxed a delectable, eye popping orgasm out of myself and it was a WET one...

the big question

Of all the years I've been out about my sexuality and out about my chosen profession as a sex-activist & educator my mother has never permitted me to tell her what I do for a living.

Don't think I've not wanted to tell her, tried to tell her, pondered how to drop the info into her lap, had her run across it, sent her my biography, something ...anything. But not without her permission, I couldn't.

I have wanted her to know, but my mom has always said no. I have wanted to share myself to help our relationship and because I know that in being known by her in this way I can let go of some of the fear that I have about her finding out about me from another source.

She has chosen not to know. Realize though there have been signs of my passion everywhere, my mother has just over looked them, all!

But really, did I have the right to tell her before she was ready, before she wanted to know? No, not in my books.

I've waited patiently for years with this huge section of myself not known by my mother and waited for the time when she was ready to know.

This evening in a phone call she asked me the big question. "Exactly Jennifer what DO YOU DO for a living?" The emphasis was there finally that she needed an answer.

Knocked the wind out of me for a second her question did. Then with composure gained I told her that I looked forward to the opportunity when we next see one another for us to sit down and discuss my occupation together. It needs a face to face conversation, I said it with a smile in my voice.

She knows so much with all the tid bits exposed subtly and accidently over the years, but has not allowed it ever to be said out loud or pieced together to make something whole.

Her daughter, her child, me, I'm a sex activist and educator whose living a passion and joy filled life that is rich with friends, lovers and opportunities.

Until our upcoming date to talk, I thankfully have some time to find the right words and language necessary to make this eye opening conversation feel safe for my mom, non threatening and smooth.

love is

returning late from work in another country, my cell phone rings.

"Good night mom, don't forget to eat a snack and have a drink of milk when you get home."

Words and sentiment that tugged at my exhausted heart strings, making me drive all that quicker, to reach her, faster.

Arrived home to my child almost but not quite already asleep in my bed, awaiting me. Tucked her in safe and planted kisses all over her. Cuddles, love, hugs and we stopped long enough to allow our breathing to sync up.

Before bed I opened the fridge and there was a note that says "Love ya".

And a coupon for a FREE HUG.

Life couldn't be any better than this.

my daughters mother

masturbation experiments

You know you've got a true friend when you can send these instruction to him...

Would you try buying a small hard, solid melon. Cutting a DEEP small hole in the center, about the size of your flacid cock, and then when you get yourself hard, ensure the melon is cold from being in the freezer or fridge for awhile and then insert cock and slosh & fuck away. Let me know any feedback you'd like to share, I'd truly love to hear. PS. Do your experiment in the tub or over a tarp, and remember the whole time that you are "doing it" that I sure appreciate you and your kinky efforts.

It was an experiment. A technique that I'd heard about from another male friend and wanted to get further feedback on.


This is what my friend sent me back, a visual of what I'd asked of him.



Thank You my friend!

client topics

after some much needed sleep (although not enough) I am now awake against my will and readying for my 10:00 appointment Coaching Session this morning. Topics for this client are "how do I enter the swinging lifestyle & attend parties" and "male masturbation techniques". Should make for an interesting morning for me and a rewarding one for my client.

This afternoon belongs to my daughter here at home, where I'll return to spend time with her, and if I'm really lucky, to get a nap in as well. Because you see this evening I have another Coaching Session, this time with a couple. I've been hired to go their home and we're going to discuss "Fantasy Role Play" and "incorporating naughtiness into ones sex life".

All of today's clients have been on the mailing list for awhile, and two of three people have met me previously as well in workshops of mine.

Working with clients privately is a privilege which affords me much. The opportunity to peek and walk around some in others sex lives is powerful & titillating; it feeds me as a sexually curious woman and as a sex-activist who passes on what she learns. It also fills up my knowledge base so I become a better lover and a more compassionate, skilled educator.

Thank you to everyone who puts their trust in me and shares of themselves freely.

male attention

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Calgary bound

opened my inbox a short while ago to discover my Ticketless Itinerary for my trip this October. I've been hired to fly to Calgary where I'm teaching two of my regular classes to their sex-positive community and a 4 hour intensive workshop for women only.

Quite exciting is the evening play party I'll be attending while in Calgary, a chance to play with new people in a different space and meet so many others.

My life is so blessed and for the opportunities, I am grateful! The result of course, of good clean living.

The weather is a little too much for me. I don't handle this type of heat so well, it makes me very nauseous. Time for me to go climb into my cool bath for a soak before it's time for me to leave at 2:00.

This afternoon I'm meeting a client for a couple of hours of Private Coaching on male masturbation & sex-positivity and then home again to get naked and climb right back in the tub.

Does anyone have suggestions of shopping / stores / resources I should be visiting, checking on or meeting while in Calgary? Please share. :)

after the Naughty Party

I'm happy, content and feeling proud of myself and Libido Events at this moment. What a successful Naughty Party last night was after all the preparations to make the move to both a new venue and a format. It was certainly worth all the effort that was put in to it.

Honorable mentions go to...

*Hugh for the sweat & muscles moving equipment (he vacuumed up wax, naked! people loved it)
*Deej, Danny & Trish - made people comfortable and kept things in order
*Partners of the above three women for doing jobs that kept the party running smooth
*Soren & Ruby for the New York City Museum of Sex tank top
*New friends C & C for music and porn in copious amounts :)
*B & E for all those sheets & pillows
*The couple who gave me a body massage at nights end, you melted me
*Chicago friends, for the end of night clean up
*Jim for the art, his sexy breath taking art, that adorned the walls - 10 pieces

For showing up at the Naughty Party, thank you. It was an incredible night and your support was overwhelming.

It did help to make the night so great that we had AIR CONDITIONING. Aaah, it was HOT in action inside but everyone was cool. What with the showers and the bath going all night many people used the chance to freshen up, between or before play. We had soap, bubbles, candles and towels in quantity so fun was had by all who wanted to get wet.

Food was glorious, people out did themselves. Sushi, pizza, veggies trays, fruit trays, huge bowls of cherries, nuts, plates of grapes, frozen watermelon, nachos, chips, dip, home made guacamole, short bread, pop, water, 5 cheeses with crackers, bagels & cream cheese, flax and so much more. No one could say they lacked the fuel necessary to play this evening.

Next Naughty Party...

August 26 Saturday!

See you then.

TONIGHTS MAIN EVENT

it's a couple of hours before tonights Naughty Party and I'm super excited. Everything was delivered to the venue this morning at 9:30 before the big heatwave started for yet another day.



As I walk in the AIR CONDITIONED front door of the party in a couple of hours everything will be ready to go and set up. An ice machine on site as well, damn we'll have chilled pop and water all night PLUS cold cubes for trailing along willing bodies in the wax & ice class.

Air condtioning, sounds sexy, don't you think? I just purr at the mere mention of the word and the feeling of it's coolness washing over my heat soaked body.

Volunteers ROCK and Hugh is my hero, as is Steven. :) Thanks boys, you know how much I value you!

The rest of you, come down and join us for the Naughty Party.

And remember, we have air conditioning to keep you cool no matter how hot the temperature gets outside or the mood inside.



=================
================


July 22 Saturday
9:00 - 2:00am
Naughty Play Party, a sex-positive event
#120 - 307 West Broadway St., Vancouver
(directly across the street from Office Depot between Yukon & Albert St)
enter at rear

$45 couple and $25 woman
*no single men this event

Parking is free out front of the building along the side street and yes, even in the lot behind. It says, Reserved, that's because that's for the building you'll be entering from the rear, you can park here, please do. As you get out of your car out back, there is a door that says Libido Events, Welcome to the Naughty Party!

Remember to bring a snack or dish to share, it should require no kitchen help. Nothing please requiring utensils. Please do not arrive empty handed. Cold pop and water are provided.

Bring a duffel bag to put your street clothes in to keep things together please.

**** Tips & Rules ****


7:30 - 9:00pm
Erotic Wax & Ice Play - a fully interactive class
presented by Jennifer
free for party attendees OR $25 couple

Temperature is probably the most fascinating sensation to incorporate into erotic play. You can use temperature to focus the attention of your partner on erogenous zones all over their body. Your use of temperature can create a sense of well-being or extreme excitement.

This workshop will cover how to use temperature and incorporate both hot and cold sensations into your sex play. The tools will include hot wax, ice, and chilled metal items.

There will be a short live demonstration followed by the interactive portion in which everyone will get to practice with the sensations taught in the course.

letting go

where ever my daughter has gone, she has always had a quarter or two perhaps three, tucked inside her back pack for an [emergency] phone call. I taught her how to use a phone myself, then a pay phone and practiced with her until she could recite her and her families full names and numbers and make successful calls. I wanted her safe.

Every day I reach in her bag and if I feel no quarters, I drop a few more in and replenish the supply. Now again I need reminding as she's getting older and I'm not in her stuff like I used to be or as often. Privacy you know?

As she heads out to go to a friends, to school, the pool and out in the world, I always ask "do you have a couple of quarters?". I save them for this purpose.

Recently I was dropping the child off at swimming lessons at the pool when she notified me that she was out of phone call quarters. There were none in the car in the ashtray which was odd but ok, and in my purse was not one.

A bunch of silver rattled about in the bottom of my bag and I was able to pull together .50 cents to hand to my daughter. She looked at my out stretched hand and then at my face. She looked as though I was pulling a joke on her and she did not know the punch line.

"What am I supposed to do with that?" she snarkily says to me, while shaking her head and eyeing me like I'm from some foreign planet.

"Use it to make a phone call, if need be, sorry, I have no quarters." I smile.

As she throws up her hands in despair she says, "Mom look in your own hand, those aren't quarters and you can't make a phone call at a pay phone with out a quarter." She said it so matter of factly, it was a mantra almost for her.

In my haste to teach my child about using a public telephone, I never taught her that you can use any combination of silver to make that phone call. As I had ever only taught using a quarter and always given her quarters, this was her first time to learn differently.

Her face lit up as I explained to her that a pay phone takes dimes, nickels and quarters, that it was able to do that math. It was funny, sort-of, we had a laugh. She's 12 almost 13 and has been able to use a pay phone since age 3.

In future, she's in charge of making sure she has phone call change.

someone in a class

This e-mail is from a woman who recently stumbled across myself and Libido Events and who is now attending parties, classes and events - her world view is now starting "to shift."

Hello Jennifer,

It's becoming clearer to me 'what' you actually offer to myself and to others, as I attend the workshops. As anything in life, the more one pursues something new, the more there is to know and pursue.

I see my learning in these workshops/events as a platform for all other areas of my life. My sexual journey is now the platform to continue to explore all dimensions of my personal/spiritual growth.

Thank you so much for the workshop at the XXXXX. I was surprised at how little vocabulary I had to access for some of your important questions. Alas, I have not stop thinking about boundaries, ethics, triangulation, etc. Your workshops have really challenged alot of my beliefs and self-knowledge. You are masterful at your craft Jennifer.

It was very great to see you again Jennifer. I love getting to know you better. I am thankful for your authentic openness about your life. What an honour to witness your paths.

Looking forward to sat already,

how do people end up here?

I have this cool program on my websites which gives me a bunch of statistical information that is valuable for marketing and such.

What I always find fascinating is what keywords people were seeking for in a search engine, when they end up to my blog.

Here is today's intriguing list...

1 photosex
2 homemade zipper lubricant
3 still life massage studio
4 outraged bisexuals demand own slur
5 david steinberg fatherjournal
6 julian murphy art
7
8 seeing my wife nipple texture in her bathing suit
9 remote control cock ring
10 deadly couture vancouver
11 club eden vancouver b.c.
12 suspended from a tree bondage
13 worshipping
14 sadoslavery
15 stilletoes
16 piercings
17 number 5 orange this week vancouver strip club
18 massage weekend camping swingers

before bed I thought I'd check my mail account on bcom and what do I see on the home page but a photo of myself doing SM with a woman. (there are 4 photo's that scroll by every 5 seconds or so)

Shocking! Just shocking I tell you.

It's part of the series that we shot a few months back.

Saturday's Naughty Party

************************************

Today was a day filled with me putting the final touches together for Saturday's Naughty Party. That this party comes in a new venue is such a change of pace for Libido Events and at just the right time, summer!

Our first Naughty Party ever geared towards couples and single women only. Not something we will be doing every party but a change certainly asked for by many of you. Seeing you at this Saturdays party will make my efforts to make this happen all worthwhile. Be there, sharing this with you will make for a great night out for us, the more friends the more opportunity.

The layout is spacious yet you'll feel at ease in the space quite quickly, it's seven multiple intimate rooms for play in various forms and more places set out for those we'll call the exhibitionists. Whomever you are, what ever your bend of your sexuality and expression there of, is what we want to see in you this evening. Be yourselves, be fun and be Naughty.

Another area set out for food and beverages so we can enjoy a little snack to help keep energy up over our evening together. In front of this all viewable through a large wall cut out is a large sitting room, with chairs, sofa and places for you to talk and chill amongst yourselves while enjoying your nibblies.

Down the hall a multitude of rooms await your discovery each with massage tables, spanking bench, bondage tables and beds a couple of those. The whole place is carpeted, air conditioned complete with a sound system through out.

Large washrooms both men's, women's and handicap with space where you may change before you enter (if you need to) and then stow your bag in our check area. Street clothes will not get you in, no no to jeans. Dress sexy and to impress and we consider naked or near naked, worthy of praise.

Of course we have on hand condoms, lube, gloves, massage oils, sheets, towels, wipes, inviting sexy atmosphere, excellent people whom you'll be able to spend time with and myself there for you to know, along with a team of volunteers that would be pleased to answer any of your questions.

Remember to bring a snack or dish to share, it should require no kitchen help. Nothing please requiring utensils. Please do not arrive empty handed. Cold pop and water are provided.

Parking is free out front of the building along the side street and yes, even in the lot behind. It says, Reserved, that's because that's for the building you'll be entering from the rear, you can park here, please do. As you get out of your car out back, there is a door that says Libido Events, Welcome to the Naughty Party!

Note the evening starts with a workshop Erotic Wax & Ice Play starting at 7:30 promptly and ending at 9:00. At 9:00 the Naughty Party starts and not before as there will be a workshop in progress, please be considerate.

We are a completely alcohol free event do not bring any liquor.


July 22 Saturday
9:00 - 2:00am
Naughty Play Party, a sex-positive event
#120 - 307 West Broadway St., Vancouver
enter at rear
$45 couple and $25 woman



**** Tips & Rules ****



7:30 - 9:00pm
Erotic Wax & Ice Play - a fully interactive class
presented by Jennifer
free for party attendees OR $25 couple

have I helped you in some way...

If I've been of support to you or helped you in some way here on my blog, at a Libido Events workshop, in e-mail, at a Naughty Party or fetish event and you are able, then read on for something you can do to support me.

Friends,

As many of you know I was recently elected to the board of directors for Leather Leadership Inc. LLC is a non profit whose philosophy as an organization is dedicated to strengthening the SM/Leather/Fetish community through the development of the leadership skills of community members and fostering a greater sense of connection between and within community groups.

As a board member I am expected to be at two general meetings per year, the first for me is this August in Minneapolis for an entire weekend. It is during this time where we meet as a board to discuss community building and to work at polishing the annual LLC conference.

The LLC hosts annual conferences where attendees may share their knowledge and experience with one another, fostering a greater sense of unity and understanding within the community as a whole. (this conference of course is in a different host city every year)

Being on the board of directors is a dream come true for me and another step towards some of my personal goals as well as a step forward for some of my visionary goals for community.

My position on the board as a Director is as a volunteer for my three year term.

It’s with the above word “volunteer” in mind, that I’m looking for donations towards my travel, room and meal fund. With some funds in hand already, I’m looking to quickly raise $300.

Donations of $25, $50 or $100 would be immensely appreciated so I can continue to do the work that I’m so passionate about sharing with not only each of you, but with all those with whom our community has even yet to reach.

Any donations received that may top the $300 requested amount will be given in donation to LLC after my trip. Your helping me will go a long ways, I promise to do well and work hard as you know I will.

Drop me an e-mail if you can help please. I need to hear from you in short order as I fly to Minneapolis in just over 2 weeks. Thank you for being a person whom I could make this request of.

In service,

Jennifer
jennifer@libidoevents.com

near nipple disaster

sitting naked on a chair in the living room wrapped up in a blanket a few short minutes ago happily savouring a quiet Monday morning at home. Stood up to kiss my daughter who'd just awoken and laid down on the sofa across from me.

As I bent down to kiss her, a scream, quite loud came bellowing out of my lungs.

As I hollered and yelped my daughter scrambled to her feet to try and aid her frantic wide eyed mother.

The Problem??????

The fringe on the blanket had gotten itself twisted and wrapped around the barbell piercing of my right nipple.

My daughter crouched at my feet helped me untie the fringe from round the post of my piercing thus removing the pain that was coursing through my nipple.

This was only the second time one of piercings has caused me distress. The rest of the time, my piercings bring not only me great joy, but also those who get to admire and play with them as well!

laughs today

driving along Hastings Street, when what I saw next prompted me to reach for my digital camera and snap a picture quickly.


Stopped at the light at Cassiar and Hastings was a stalled and broken down PINK fire engine which had been converted for some razor/shaving companies promotional needs.

What fun to see the truck in a dead stop on the road, bright PINK and unable to move. Had me laughing for blocks.



Ran into Steve and Jenn today in China town, my daughter and I were on an afternoon outing together. Funny I laughed when I saw Jenn and Steve out together in the middle of the day. Usually I see them "after hours" in clubs and barely dressed, it was good to see they didn't melt when out in daylight.



And now I'm off to see The Devil Wears Prada! I expect to laugh much here as well.

child returns

just checked with the airline and my daughters flight is arriving in to YVR on time this afternoon. Finally, she's home from camp in Guelph and we can catch up on all the stories from her time away this past while.

I can't wait to see her, we've got huge mom and daughter plans this evening.

******
******

it's 10:02 pm right now. Daughter's 10 days worth of soiled laundry is in the front hall dumped out, the bathroomm still steamy from her shower to remove camping & wilderness residue and the blessed noise of deep breathing in my bedroom as she's sound asleep. She actually fell asleep laying on top of me in the living room after her shower, wrapped in my arms and I had to wake her to get her into bed. At six pounds lighter than me, it's getting kinda deifficult to carry her anymore.

I'm so happy to have her home, where she belongs. There's only so many years of this left now...