Nesting

I've been nesting. The act that women who are pregnant instinctively do as they ready for the birth of their child. This of course is an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new baby, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world. Perhaps a little earlier than other ladies might, but being on Doctor ordered rest has left me with plenty of time on my hands to ponder what needs done.


In my younger years my perfectionist attitude and ways were significantly more pronounced than now, thankfully with age has come some clarity around what it truly important and what is not.

There have been lists made. Lists of things to buy, things to move, paint and store. Lists of items to locate, people to contact, amends to be made and habits to be forgotten. Lists of things to clean, sterilize and photograph. Lists that were once endless are all now shortening, through my efforts and that of friends and of course Jason.

The babes room is all painted, the closet is filling with clothes and some of the more general necessities have been gathered. Now it is time to make the big purchases.

A crib, stroller and car seat are all of priority right now. I would be remiss to have not have this done sooner rather than later given how everyone around me seems confident that I will have this baby rather early and these items are must haves.

Diapers would be a great idea as well, I seem to recall that wee ones run through them at an incredulous rate. And perhaps one of those handy diaper machines that I hear eats odors, this would be ideal.

I have been asked if I am having a baby shower, or not. It is my second child after all, and showers are typically reserved for first time mothers. Obviously my last child was years past a decade ago, so new motherhood seems about where I am at, again. So to answer the question, "am I having a shower or not", I think the answer will most likely be yes. Now the "when" becomes the next piece of the puzzle to figure out.

It has been on mind to go away on a mini holiday with my daughter before the baby is born, some one-on-one time for us to share before my attentions will be distracted and exhausted for a while. Wednesday at my OB appointment I plan on asking the doctor is this is feasible. Because if it is, I want to take of with the teenager for at least 5 days somewhere warm. California perhaps? Universal Studios and Disney Land would be nice and I know she would love to return there. We've been twice before in her life and we always have a blast.

Mexico had been a thought but with poor health care there, and the prevalence of travelers illness so high, I am not willing to chance it.

Taking Life Easy

A lazy Saturday would be nice, but lately most of my days have been lazy anyways so today's change of running about is most welcome. (note: I won't actually be running about, rather being chauffeured from one place to the next)

The morning had us in Cloverdale. We gave up for adoption our bird to a new family. It was decided that with a baby on the way, the chirpy noisy fella would be best suited to a family better able to give him the attention he so deserves. I'm sad to see Foster go and was surprised to learn of Jason's decision to give him up. When he announced the idea to me the first time, I was shocked, and yesterdat afternoon he talked to the new soon-to-be owners and now he is all excited about giving the bird to them. We are no longer be bird owners, now we just have a cat.

Next we hit a children's swap meet. A place where parents go to rid themselves of the accumulated clutter of no longer needed (or fitting) kids stuff and where others can go and make inexpensive purchases. There are a number of things we need for this little guy and many of the items are things that need not be bought new. Items like a crib, car seats, things that go in the mouth will all be had new, but many of the other necessities can be second hand, especially given the short period of time the little guy will be making use of these gadgets and doodads anyways. We left with a nice bag of booty and some of the most adorable new born clothes imaginable. Made my heart swell.

Then we came home for a planned serious naked, in bed, under the covers type of afternoon nap. A solid couple of hours to refresh me, it felt amazing.

We watched Che part 1 the movie this afternoon curled up on the sofa together eating watermelon and boursin with crackers.

And this evening we have plans of the naughty variety. Yeah, we still can't have sex, but there are some other deviant things that we plan on getting up to together to quench my thirst for sexual intimacy at some level, plus some long missed friends that catching up with will make me feel good about.

Body Bag Bondage & E-Stim

It has to be about nine years ago now that I met my long time friend Z. We saw one another with regularity for years, then we stopped crossing paths for quite some time.

Recently while teaching at a local prison, there he was. A contractor doing work on the inside for the day. We were both equaually surprised to run across one another, especially considering our surroundings. As fate would have it, a few weeks later, he took me up on my offer and became a member of Libido Lounge along with his lovely partner L.

I am happy to be back in touch with each of them, as they are one of those lovely happy and in love type of couples who always look great together.

Recently they came to our bondage event Restraining Order and made a host of new friends. Obviously with personalities like theirs, this was an easy enough task.

They showed up ready to play on the night in question. Two big black toy bags accompany them, Z carried one in each hand as they arrived through our doors.

We all sat around making chit chat for about twenty minutes or so, before play began to break out around us. Then Z opened one of his bags and pulled out a splendid eye catching full length black leather body bag.

So many people in the space suddenly gravitated towards it. People asking questions about it, touching it, and caught up in it's obvious meaning. What a toy to own, expensive, niche and not for the faint of heart. Lovely, just lovely.

Z made his way to the restroom and returned in Superman underwear. He looked adorable. L had a smile from ear to ear as she told us tales of how they integrate it into their sex play while at home. Mesmerized we all were indeed.

The body bag then was laid out on top of our huge black padded cage and L spent the time to zip, strap and tie in Z so he would be immobilized.

I got caught up in talking in another room and when I returned I was tickled to note that Z was no longer distinguishable from within his suit, even his head was zipped in and covered now too.

With great interest I watched as L unzipped a small zipper around his cock and balls, then wrapped them in an elastic followed by a velcro strap which held in place a precious electrode to his perinieum thus being attached to an e-stim box. What a toy indeed. The entire package looked as though it should be an adveristement in a Mr.S catalogue. The visual was enticing and glorious for the sadist in me and for every masochist present too.

Gleefully when invited to, I pressed the magical button that zapped his taint with a jolt of electricity and listened as his muffled scream of protest was barely audible. His toes shook in the bottom on the body bag, but nothing more. I repeated this act many times over before adding my own perverted twist to his quandry.

Grabbing a very large and sharp hunting knife, I told Z of my plans. Simply, I am going to insert this pointy item down your urethra as far as it will go. Then with a steady hand I will hold it in place as I jolt your sensitive bits with electricity again. Your job: NOT TO MOVE AT ALL, or well, bad things could seriously happen having grave results. No joke!

Somehow I could smell terrified oozing out of the poor man. L was looking pleased at my plan, and watched intently as I then did just as I had promised. Other women came over to watch too, because well torturing a penis is just so much fun.

After a few minutes, I grabbed hold of yet another idea. Selecting an acrylic paddle, it was placed solidly under his tied tight scrotum, then with a fish bonker in the other hand, I smashed his balls firmly and exquistely. This seemed very popular, for many others wanted to catch sight of what I was doing too. Z just laid there absorbing each stroke and savoring all of the attention being bestowed upon him, he may well have been gasping in pain but thankfully the body bag prevented me from knowing such details.

There are times where my kinky life is indescribable to outsiders, some things you simply just must witness to actually understand the magnitude of. This was one of those scenes.

L and Z did some checking in with one another and I wandered off to clean my toys, leaving the couple back on their own. A short while later I saw Z with a shit eating grin wandering out of the bathroom looking high on endorphins, and I knew his trip through masochism had been time well spent.


It didn't take long either before both Z and L had enjoyed a snack and drink and I watched in awe as Z was tied spread eagled inside our suspension rack for a little ball busting and a flogging. Watching others use the Lounges equipment for their pleasure always leaving me feeling good.

It always amazes me what restraining someone will permit their minds to accept in the name of pleasure. There was so much unusual bondage happening on this particular evening that with all my time spent with Z & L, I actually missed some of the other deviant play that had transpired.

The next morning I awoke to a sincere thank you note from the couple, expressing their gratitude for an evening well spent in bondage amongst friends.

My job and world are the best ever.

Orgasmic Bondage

It came to be that sitting in front of me recently was a rather hot couple, perhaps a few years older than myself. The woman was stunning and certainly not a shy flower. After a few minutes of us all chatting I boldly invited her to play.

Just my luck she said yes without missing a beat. Then as she was removing her mid thigh length black coat I was mesmerized with her sheer and fishnet teddy that left everything visible to my roaming eyes. Her knee high black heeled come-fuck-me boots were the icing on my cake, most certainly.

Beautiful as she looked in her outfit, it needed to be removed. She had to be nude in order to properly enjoy my ministrations. With swift speed she made herself naked and I sighed with delight.

I positioned her in front of the stripper pole, so the pole was snugly between her perfect creamy butt cheeks. Then with a large roll of pallet wrap in hand I wound it tightly round and round her body, mummifying her to the pole rendering her unable to free herself.

With scissors in hand I startegically cut the bindings that covered her perk nipples and with mouth and fingers worked them free - the visual was glorious.

Her partner is nibbling away at her neck, I am sucking on her nipples and she is writhing in a way that says she will soon explode in bliss. Out of her mouth escapes a pleasurable moan that can only be described as orgasmic.

Grabbing scissors again, I cut the area around her genitals making them accessible next. Then placing a blindfold over her eyes, I gather together a few tools to further the sensations she's receiving.

Her man is necking with her, and I slip a vibrator between her pussy lips and start circling her clitoris. The sounds she makes and the bucking makes it evident that I am doing something that is pushing her towards nirvana. The dam bursts and with her head rolling from side to side, she cums hard on my hand.

I lube up my gloved hand and insert my fingers into her slick pussy and start prodding her G-Spot, she makes appreciative noises, then asks me to slow down. I comply. Then as I am working over her pleasure spot she starts gasping, turning shades of purple and gyrating. Within a minute her orgasm is massive and she is tousled looking and breathless.

She asks to be freed. We remove her blindfold, then cut her out of the restraints. Shaking slightly, she is walked back to the sofa, where she sits and cuddles with her man.

Cleaning my toys I look over and witness the two of them bonding together over what was most certainly a new experience for each of them. It made me feel good to see them sharing such a moment and to know I had played a part to their happiness.

MILF Vancouver

As you can likely imagine, my in box daily is inundated with emails ranging the spectrum of funny, absurd, sad, frustrating, complimentary, professional and personal.

Since the announcement of my pregnancy a new wave of mail has hit me with enough regularity to make me take notice.

You see, there is an acronym "MILF". Have you heard of it before? I suppose it's a compliment, yet it feels strange to be referred to in such a bold way by others. Many whom I know, and others that I do not.

Remember, I have a teenager already. I've been a mother for a long time, yet many people do not know or even see this side of me.

Yet another person emailed me the other day, saying I was the hottest MILF imaginable, and how first time motherhood was making me extra alluring to this person. They went on to say how attractive they have always found me but now it was over the top. I had to laugh.

I am not a first time mother and as such I guess this means that I have been a MILF for a long time now.

Ego pushed aside, I have excellent self esteem and my feelings about who I am are not wrapped up in how others see me, rather in how I see myself. I feel good about my appearance and have for longer than I can remember. I know I am attractive and I know many people find me to be sexy. I'm flattered.

Yet oddly it is weird to be thought of as a MILF hottie simply because I am pregnant. That my swelling belly, massive breasts and glowing skin are drawing people to notice me in a whole new way.

Long Lost Lover

I ventured out on my own to feet by two blocks this afternoon. No purse to weigh me down, just my phone, keys and bank card. It felt divine to be out of the house and not be wheeled about in a chair. I took it slow and made my way to the local produce store, then to the bakery. Feeling accomplished with my efforts, I sat briefly on a bench and rested before making the trek back.

As I got up from my seat, suddenly before me was a man who looked so familiar that I had to stop him. Not able to recollect who he was I was embarrassed calling out to this person, yet I was certain we had some history at some point in time.

It took a nano-second for he and I to realize we had been lovers sixteen perhaps seventeen years ago. Suddenly I could recall his home's location and what his bedroom looked like. He applauded my memory.

He's retired now from a prosperous career and living out in Mission. (I've always had a thing for older men) He is no longer as husky as I remembered him to be, but his tattoos and distinct facial features were all still in tact.

It was startling to see someone whom I had been intimate and catching up with him for five minutes was a pleasant reminder of my more youthful years when lovers came and went with great speed.

These days my partners are people for whom I plan on having on going sexual relationships with, if even infrequently.

Walking home I reminisced on all the lovers I could recall who had been pivotal in leading me into my own sexual empowerment, I counted the man I just ran into among them.

Then a block from home, I had a contraction that came out of no-where and startled me a little into worrying. I stopped walking and next to me was some black berry bushes. So I took a break and spent fifteen minutes picking berries and letting my uterus relax. Just as I was about to arrive back to the house, another contraction hit.

Groceries are on the counter now and perhaps later I shall make my way off of the sofa to put them in the fridge.

Want to do something special for yourself, or FOR ME? This is a service that I would greatly enjoy being gifted with and would appreciate right about like no other time in my life, seeing as my sex life is on hold and I am banned medically from house work.

State of my Cervix

After a troublesome past week and a half with pregnancy concerns today most certainly felt like a turning point. I was checked into the hospital way too early and settled into a bed on the maternity unit in the Labor & Delivery section as per doctors orders.

There were a couple of tests to be done and the most important one was the Fetal Fibronectin. Fetal fibronectin "leaks" into the vagina if a preterm delivery is likely to occur and can be measured in diagnostic test. A positive result would mean my spending the next almost three weeks confined to a bed in the hospital on full bed rest, a negative would mean would mean at home rest for the next few weeks.

I came out of the experience with a negative result and as such this means that I am 95% unlikely to have a preterm birth in the next two weeks. They will keep repeating this test every two weeks now until I actually girth birth, whenever that is.

A week from today I have another ultrasound to check on my amniotic fluid levels and next Wednesday I see the OB again.

Today I've had a few contractions but nothing consistent or even near regular, thankfully. I'm sick of resting yet so thrilled to be not living in a hospital so I am doing my best to lay low and only move about when there is no choice.

Ironically enough the hospital called this evening about our Family Tour which is fast approaching, though I already have now seen the Maternity ward a little too much lately and am unsure if the tour would even be valuable at this point.

Still no sex permitted and tomorrow I'll be talking to the doctor about when this will even be a possibility again. Let the countdown begin, I am starved for some sexual pleasure.

Sexual Frustration

As you most likely already know (unless of course you are completely new to reading here, or just plain clueless) I love sex, a lot.

Sex is such an incredible part of my life, I am in fact consumed by it. I teach about sex, I read about sex, I have sex with others, I have sex with myself and I think about sex, all-of-the-the-time. It is an integral part of who I am.

Imagine my dismay and horror when told over a week ago now to stop having sex. Like none. No intercourse, no masturbation, no orgasms, just go cold turkey and practice the A word. Abstinence.

Being that I am thirty six years old, the word abstinence is not really in my personal vocabulary any longer, not that it has been for some time anyways. The A word causes me great angst on many levels. But that's another post for another day.

As I am 22 weeks pregnant, leaking water, having contractions and spending time in the hospital one of the first things my OB said to Jason and I as he was discharging us, was to refrain from all sex.

I nodded complacently, as I was just relieved to be going home finally. However once home for a few days and snuggled next to my sweetie in our bed, late at night, naked, and pressed against one another, I wanted sex with a vengeance.

The answer was obviously no, however that did not change the desire coursing through me. Last night the hunger was so severe that I tried to persuade Jason to just slide himself inside of me gently, and let me fall asleep like that. No fucking, just simple penetration with no stroking. He would have none of that.

Frustration has kicked in, I have been offering him blow jobs, and he declines. His rationale - that I am not supposed to be doing anything strenuous. He won't even let me pleasure him, the denial is killing me.

Good god what I wouldn't do for a good screw right now. I recognize it's to dangerous to do at this stage in the pregnancy but that doesn't change the fact that my hormones are raging and I want him so badly that I am ready to pounce.

My mother in law has been staying below us in the guest room and that is not a deterrent either, I want sex that desperately.

There better be an end to this abstinence shortly, or I may just explode without any stimulation at all.

Tomorrow morning we are back int he hospital for a specialized test, and the results better be good, at least that is what I am praying for. That no premature delivery is imminent, and that sex can be put back on the menu.

Excuse me while I order:

One healthy baby boy
An appetizer of cunnilingus
A starter of fellatio
A main course of intercourse
Dessert of masturbation

Blow Up Doll

The first photo is my good friends P. penis, wearing googly eyes none the less. His girlfriend sent it along to me after we all were discussing her creativeness in donning his pecker with crafting supplies. The man's penis has girth that is quite impressive, many have met it in person and been in awe.


This second amusing photo was taken Pre Pride, in a Mc Donalds parking lot at Boundary and Lougheed which is where we assembled our vehicle and props with a group of friends. The man in the pink hat, is blowing up Barak. The whole matter had us laughing greatly, it was 9 AM on a Sunday morning too.


I'd write more, but hey, apparently I am having premature labor, as told to me by the doctor in the hospital. Yup, another visit to visit Labor & Delivery this afternoon. It's all the effort I can muster to avoid stress and any work right now.

Hodge Podge of Stuff

Cute story that came in email from a girl friend that brought a big smile to my face.

" not sure how Christopher and I started talking about this. I think we were discussing babies or something and I mentioned how your little one has been nicknamed "Pickles" and he says "Why Pickles?" My reply was "well, they have just nicknamed him that until they find a forever name for him." He looks at me and says "they could call him Gold (just while in the belly)." I question and say "Why Gold?" His response was "Well, when he's born - he'll be priceless."

I have been putting off dealing with an issue that is rather distressing to me. I was faced with it a few days ago, but thanks to bed rest on doctors orders and being told to relax and not get riled up putting this item to the back burner has been necessary. Which is good because it has given me time to calm myself down and sort through my thought process on how to address the problem.


A most unique link has shown up in a variety of places in the last 24 hours, so I'll just thank David for leading me to it. It's swimwear/undergarments for the um, well....aroused man. If you are man and are looking for party ware, or someone outfit your male partner for bedroom play, I highly recommend their products for the stunning visuals they provide.

My mother-in-law arrives tomorrow for a few days.

Tomorrow night is Speed Dating at The Lounge. $40 for men, and $10 for women and BYOB, (beer and wine only) Dress to impress, this is for Lounge members only. There are still some spots left for you to reserve, so get on it. 8 pm - 11pm / jennifer@libidoevents.com

We found a camper for our camp out, thank you everyone who wrote me with gracious offers.

I need a local photographer to do some head shots of me in the next week, or two. I am able to come to you, or if it suits you better, we can use Libido Lounge. Drop me an email if your available to assist me with this. Thanks.

This morning for breakfast I ate a large slice of Mango cake, courtesy of Renee. It was delicious. I only did this to make the baby happy though.

Loose Ends

Tonight is Deviant Dining, its a Drop In event, come by and have dinner with us all. Spicy conversations, sexy people and a night out for you.

Doors Open @ 7:00
Dinner Served @ 7:30
Ends @ 9:00
*$10 Member
*$15 Non Member
*Life Time Members $5

Open to All Genders, Couples and Singles

Our popular social dinner event, come meet the other members and enjoy a decadent evening of food and friends.

BRING A DISH that serves Generously 4-6 & we'll take care of the rest of the fine details! Exquisite Company. Sultry dinner conversations.

Further, here are a few more photos from Sundays Pride Parade for you....

The first
Second
Third

Thanks David for sourcing these out for me.

as promised

Pride Vancouver Photos 2009

Ok, so I am trying to upload some photos and Blogger is not able to handle the request at this time. Grrr, this is frustrating me.

Check back in a couple of hours and there will be a whole bevy of photos here.

And hey, if you took any of our entry our myself, please send them along to me for my collection.

Being Gay

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to be gay? Well, you need to know.

I guarantee that after watching the clip below you will have a whole new level of empathy for the challenges faced by those who are gay/queer/trans/bi.

This video will really help you to step into someone else's shoes before you choose to judge, hate and condemn.

Spend a few minutes and watch this entire YouTube video.

Happy Pride everyone. Educate, liberate and celebrate.

Blog Readership

I watch the stats on my blogs page to see how my readership is doing. Checking in on this data a couple of times each week. I also check to see how people find me using a feature that tells me from what referring link sent them along or what key words they were searching when running across me. I also check on regular viewer statistics and of course new readers as well.

With all this information available at my fingertips, it does make me wonder.

Would you drop me an email and tell me why you read this blog and for how long you've been reading? I am most curious and would like to hear from people.

Thanks.


jennifer@libidoevents.com

Griffin Gillan [Constable]

Yet another injustice. Our legal system has been on a down hill slide for some time.

A story posted by CBC about Const. Griffin Gillan serves to remind the general public that many of our publicly serving police officers have criminal records and are able to use there position to their advantage when it comes to committing crimes.

It is evident that officers, Gillan the most recent, can beat and rob a man and face a mere 21 days of home lock down in the evenings for his actions. Disgusting and not a punishment worthy of the crime.

How is anyone to trust an officer that may pull you over, or interview you over something, some day, some where. I have so little faith in police officers these days. You simply can not trust them, not in BC.

In our province of great cultural diversity one must be sensitive to minorities and as Gillan beat this poor 47 year old newspaper delivery man, he screamed racial slurs, and taunted the man by saying getting anyone to call the police was pointless, because he was the police.

Gillan's excuse, 20 drinks at bars over the course of the evening in question and a black out of all the events that transpired.

You know what you should be disgusted with? Have disgust for a legal system that failed to reprimand him fairly. Have disgust for Gillan, and his not apologizing for his actions. Have disgust for Gillan's drinking habits. Have disgust for the West Vancouver Police force where he is employed, particularly if they allow him back to the force after his probation.

Read up on the *very* brief PDF on the Standards of Conduct for the West Vancouver Police.

Write a letter on your feelings surrounding the Gillan case, and let the powers that be know how you feel about this officer returning to work, OR NOT.

Lest we forget that the West Van Police Force is the same one that permitted drinking at the station by officers one of whom was a female officer and driving while impaired. This was just a short while ago, oh yes, her name ... Lisa Alford.

Alford took sick leave after the incident or more aptly called CRIME so as she could collect her salary on the tax payers dime, despite the conduct she was sworn to uphold being thrown to the way side for her own personal agenda. Drunk at a police station and then drunk driving.

WVPF needs to clean up it's officers and find a way to enforce the law to it's own people. The cops.

Help a Girl Out

I need your assistance dear readers, surely one of you can help me out.

We are going away for a week, a whole seven days and seven nights. We are off camping amongst friends. This is a yearly trip that we make and we are always most excited about making the trek and spending time alongside our peeps.

This year though I'm pregnant. And by the time we go camping in September I will be just over six months along. A tent is not an option. There is a large trailer we can borrow but truth be told, it is just too big for our needs and for our Jeep to tow.

We are looking for a camper that can be loaned, rented or bartered privately. Something big enough for two people and that has a good bed in it. We do not need a kitchen, toilet, or anything fancy.

This camper can be a camper van, or a small tow vehicle.

Can you help, do you possess such an item in your garage or carport?

I can bribe you with a small amount of cash, alcohol, membership to The Lounge, free event tickets or perhaps something else yet to be determined.

If you have what I am seeking can you please send me an email ASAP, with the campers particulars and your contact info? Sending a photo of it would sure be awesome too.

You can reach me at jennifer@libidoevents.com

Coed Masturbation Vancouver

As I was driving this afternoon I found myself chuckling at what is my reality. On my back seat was 1200 give away items for this weekends Pride Parade, and all donated too, along with three most unusual large props. If I had been in a car accident they medics would have wondered what in the hell they had encountered as surely the contents of my vehicle would have them believing I was one randy woman.

Then later on I stopped at Shoppers Drug Mart, I have been shopping in the same one for eighteen years now and am rather well known there. While at the till one of the older clerks came walking up to me with a sly smile on her face and explained "it certainly appears as though you are...um....well....expecting". Yes you're right, and I am due in December, she was so happy to recognize my baby bump and elated for me all at once.

A stop off at The Lounge to deliver the contents of my back seat, and then I quickly retreated to my favorite day spa. It was time for a pedicure, air conditioning and the best massage of my feet and calves that I could have asked for.

A little shopping for new shoes, the perfect pair too as they match a dress I just bought. This made me quite happy.

Back to The Lounge and I set up for Jack & Jill. It was a busy night, with some members out even at their first event. The a/c was on, the place was filled with sexy people and the festivities began with ease. Even the new people found themselves with some action.

For me I was somewhat in demand. Hell for a pregnant woman, I sure get a lot of action. Two women graciously allowed me to give them orgasms, while another woman and I had an orgasm war. Who could ask for anything better, well I suppose watching yet another woman pop the cherry of one of our newest members was also a highlight. The underwear on our male guests were super sexy, most of the women were in lingerie that would have you salivating and the time just flew by as I witnessed one person after another getting off. Some people even multiple times.

Days like this are good as I am grateful to be able to do what I love for work and be able to do it so well. The baby, myself and my family are happy and healthy. I returned home at the end of a long and varied day to our new house, and was greeted by warm emails from friends along with the familiarity of a place that is my retreat from the hectic life I lead.

Tomorrow is another day and without doubt it to will be filled with activities that most would consider unusual, yet for me is a just another ordinary another day.

Creating Change

A recent post on a message board has had me thinking about issues that normally I wouldn't put energy into mulling over.

Why does the [out] BDSM community struggle so much with keeping new people coming back?

It seems at first glance for there to be more people involved in BDSM play than ever before in our society. Yet for the fewer number of people who "try out" a public function, the numbers go down exponentially for repeat visits.

Vancouver's BDSM community has been aptly called "high school for adults".

Numerous factors work together to ensure people not return to the public events that exist, let's examine some of the more obvious ones that spring to mind:

• environment of spaces that are rented and utilized: spacious sure, yet nasty, lacking classiness and with no ambiance
  
• many people are rather harsh, fringe, clique involved and filled with do as I say not as I do attitudes
• public venues that invite spectators to be able to view you as fodder
• drug use at events and alcohol use that makes what is already edgy play look risky as hell
• huge fluctuation in attendance numbers
• a physical "look" that is quite disturbing in respect to many of the regulars that contrasts greatly with how the public looks generally speaking
  
• types of play permitted and how this looks to new comers
• unclear or not posted play rules that are not enforced equally for all
• lack of a business and/or professional look to what is going on, looks rather clandestine
• on line drama between "regulars" that is read my many
• narrow mindedness in terms of how people play and comment on others activities
  
• gossip that is designed to alienate, make others feel important, and bash anything or anyone that conflicts with the cliques agenda
  
• too many titles and honorifics being utilized by those with any position of authority and for those with none, hoping for an ego boost by introducing themselves as (Lord, Sir, Master, Goddess, King Shit Know-It-All, Mistress)
• people inflating their experience levels as an attempt to appear to the lay person as more knowledgeable than they truly are (their skill sets inevitably show through)
  

Getting out of the public domain and into a private facility or privately hosted events and everything changes for the positive in most instances.

It it obvious though to me as someone with a documented over ten years out in the public sex/ BDSM / alternative sexuality /polyamory communities, that the malicious bitter people can be found everywhere.

Any person who tells you gossip or hearsay is to be avoided, and cliques are the surest way to know for certain that someone is entrenched in the state of affairs that so negatively impact on those involved in our culture.

Want to get involved in BDSM and meet others? You can do so but remember that like in high school there are good students and schools, and then there are those that are the drop outs.

Don't worry, you'll recognize the drop outs. And more stellar are those to know who spout nothing about any one and always dance to their own beat while exuding personal success.

Firsts

We were alone in the house this afternoon after a busy afternoon of running around with errands for work and home. Naked we christened our den for the first time, with some hot sex. Long overdue. Then we went and had a cool shower to rid ourselves of sweat and freshen up. The futon is a little small though we are acquiring a new bed for that room in two weeks, so things are looking up for certain.


The teenager was sitting on our bed tonight talking with us, while massaging my belly when suddenly she felt the baby move. This was a first and such a huge big deal for us all. I've been feeling the baby move for about two and half weeks, Jason for about a week and a half, and now finally my daughter has felt the kicks too.

Life is great.