My computer is still on BC time, though for your point of reference, I am actually eight hours ahead of you all right now.
I am in Europe, in London to be precise. Having arrived early yesterday morning and spending all of yesterday napping and in a general fog of jet lag. Last nights sleep was incredible and now we are awake ready to start our day. It's midnight for you right now and for me, eight in the morning.
Three different blocks of cheeses, four types of biscuits and lots of seasonal fruit was our late night snack -- greatly enjoyed this.
Today we are heading off first to the London Eye, then to the Tower of London, then over to Westminster Abbey. I can't wait, this is going to be really amazing.
More later, now it's off to the shower room to get freshened up so we can depart.
Jennifer ... Vancouver's Sex Educator, Sexuality Coach and Activist. The content of this blog is not suited for those under the age of 18. What you'll find here is a written account of my personal journey in sex positive culture both personally and professionally.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Contract Talk
This morning at four I awoke thanks to my alarm, dressed and headed to the airport. From there I caught a plane on a prepaid round trip ticket out of Province for the day.
I was met at my destination by a car and driver, then driven to the corporate offices of the entity that is trying to "buy me".
A day long meeting with the team and a personal interview with the president left me exhilarated. Then I was asked the big question "how much money would they need to pay me" for me to do for them what they are asking.
Flying home late this afternoon, I slept.
Life is about to get even more exciting.
I was met at my destination by a car and driver, then driven to the corporate offices of the entity that is trying to "buy me".
A day long meeting with the team and a personal interview with the president left me exhilarated. Then I was asked the big question "how much money would they need to pay me" for me to do for them what they are asking.
Flying home late this afternoon, I slept.
Life is about to get even more exciting.
Friday, May 07, 2010
Our big boy
Our daughter took this photo this evening of her brother as she was on transit with him bringing him home. We were both at work so the kids spent the evening together - what joy they give us.
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
Unsolicited Opinion
Let me be the first to disclose that I am a sensitive woman. Certain topics really hit me hard emotionally and I have a great sense of empathy as well.
I was out the other day with Pickle (who is now 5 months old) and I was boutique shopping for pretty dresses to purchase for our fast approaching trip to Europe.
Mr. Pickles started making the usual and to be expected squawking noises of an infant needing to be fed.
I found a suitable bench and pulled the stroller up along side it. After unbuckling the harness and removing him I sat him on my lap to feed him at which time I initiated a conversation with him about how smart and handsome he is. Pickles likes this topic a lot by the way.
An older woman, well older than me, was suddenly standing next to us. I looked up at her smiling and resumed my conversation with my son.
Out of no where this woman starts to talk to me, so of course, unable to move, I politely listen.
She proceeds to tell me that it's good to see mothers like me staying home with their babies. She goes on about how abhorrent it is that some mothers think they can have it all and actually resume working. That if more women were like me and really loved their children they would remain at home until their children were school aged. She then told me what a disgrace it was for children to be cared by nannies, fathers, grand parents and pretty much anyone else aside from their mothers.
I could have stopped her mid spew and informed her that I work full time and I do so by choice. I could have told her it takes a village/community/family to raise a child. I could have told her that I was on time-off to shop and would be returning to my career as soon as I got home that afternoon and handed the baby off to his sister.
Instead I said nothing. I let her believe that I am one of those women who is apparently doing the right thing by not working.
Why you might ask? Because it was correct thing to do. She was set in her ill informed opinion. And I was not willing to waste one moment of alone time with my son to set the record straight with a stranger. Further, I had to finish shopping so I could get back to work.
But back to the first paragraph, her words stung.
I am a good mother because I work, am successful, believe in myself, support my family and LOVE both my career and my children.
I was out the other day with Pickle (who is now 5 months old) and I was boutique shopping for pretty dresses to purchase for our fast approaching trip to Europe.
Mr. Pickles started making the usual and to be expected squawking noises of an infant needing to be fed.
I found a suitable bench and pulled the stroller up along side it. After unbuckling the harness and removing him I sat him on my lap to feed him at which time I initiated a conversation with him about how smart and handsome he is. Pickles likes this topic a lot by the way.
An older woman, well older than me, was suddenly standing next to us. I looked up at her smiling and resumed my conversation with my son.
Out of no where this woman starts to talk to me, so of course, unable to move, I politely listen.
She proceeds to tell me that it's good to see mothers like me staying home with their babies. She goes on about how abhorrent it is that some mothers think they can have it all and actually resume working. That if more women were like me and really loved their children they would remain at home until their children were school aged. She then told me what a disgrace it was for children to be cared by nannies, fathers, grand parents and pretty much anyone else aside from their mothers.
I could have stopped her mid spew and informed her that I work full time and I do so by choice. I could have told her it takes a village/community/family to raise a child. I could have told her that I was on time-off to shop and would be returning to my career as soon as I got home that afternoon and handed the baby off to his sister.
Instead I said nothing. I let her believe that I am one of those women who is apparently doing the right thing by not working.
Why you might ask? Because it was correct thing to do. She was set in her ill informed opinion. And I was not willing to waste one moment of alone time with my son to set the record straight with a stranger. Further, I had to finish shopping so I could get back to work.
But back to the first paragraph, her words stung.
I am a good mother because I work, am successful, believe in myself, support my family and LOVE both my career and my children.
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
All Things Sex [6]
I am so proud that the Vancouver School Board has an anti homophobia consultant, yet saddened funding for this needed service is being cut back. Imagine if your child was "coming out" in the school system and having to do so without support.
Seems as though the police in Montreal were busy arresting and charging an adult store owner for failure to put English wording on a Sleeve Super Stretch. (aka jack off toy) Like tax payers dollars would not be better spent actually pushing criminals through the court system. Sheesh.
Seattle is so fortunate to have many sex positive and kinky entrepreneurs. Lucky for me, these are all my pals who've been in my life for many years now. I actually own products by each and every one of them too. Give them your business -- I highly recommend them.
An old war time poster proclaiming women to be ripe with disease. Because goodness knows, men are never the carriers of such things, only easy women. This is sex negativity and hypocrisy at its best.
This article in the New York Times on the birth control pill is fascinating, well worth the short read to understand how this pill has morphed and changed society over decades.
Michael Kandola is the homophobic criminal who has been sentenced to a year in prison for the hate crime of beating a gay man in downtown Vancouver. He deserved this prison sentence and the man he beat and his partner who witnessed the attack deserve further compensation for this horrible injustice against them.
If you have a son in College, you should be aware that harlots are flocking to jewel their vulva's to entice your boy away from his studies and success, to engage in ...... SEX. (because we all know that no young man has ever lured a woman away from her aspirations for sex)
Seems as though the police in Montreal were busy arresting and charging an adult store owner for failure to put English wording on a Sleeve Super Stretch. (aka jack off toy) Like tax payers dollars would not be better spent actually pushing criminals through the court system. Sheesh.
Seattle is so fortunate to have many sex positive and kinky entrepreneurs. Lucky for me, these are all my pals who've been in my life for many years now. I actually own products by each and every one of them too. Give them your business -- I highly recommend them.
An old war time poster proclaiming women to be ripe with disease. Because goodness knows, men are never the carriers of such things, only easy women. This is sex negativity and hypocrisy at its best.
This article in the New York Times on the birth control pill is fascinating, well worth the short read to understand how this pill has morphed and changed society over decades.
Michael Kandola is the homophobic criminal who has been sentenced to a year in prison for the hate crime of beating a gay man in downtown Vancouver. He deserved this prison sentence and the man he beat and his partner who witnessed the attack deserve further compensation for this horrible injustice against them.
If you have a son in College, you should be aware that harlots are flocking to jewel their vulva's to entice your boy away from his studies and success, to engage in ...... SEX. (because we all know that no young man has ever lured a woman away from her aspirations for sex)
Monday, May 03, 2010
Work Over Load
My life is crazy right now and this is an understatement.
In our house is a teenager readying for year end exams by studying like mad and a five month old teething and going through a developmental growth spurt.
I am plagued by CDIFF and wish for nothing more than to be rid of this horrible infection, it is so unpredictable, painful and nasty. Tomorrow I visit the hospital yet again for more tests and Friday the doctor sees me with the results and a new plan for getting me well.
In eight days I fly out of Province for a day of negotiations with a large corporation that is waving at me money, opportunity and career notoriety. Then fourteen hours after I return from this whirlwind visit.... I leave for Europe on an action packed and greatly anticipated trip through London, Berlin and Paris.
Between now and my departure I have four private coaching appointments, four large events at The Lounge and I still need to pack, get my hair done, have a mani/pedi, complete my banking, do a small mountain of paperwork and lest I forget .... sleep.
Somewhere in all of this I also have to fit in family time, cooking, laundry, caring for a infant, uploading the June calendar, emptying my in-box and commuting time to accomplish all that I need to.
Any idea how to get more hours in a day? Personally, I am at a loss.
In our house is a teenager readying for year end exams by studying like mad and a five month old teething and going through a developmental growth spurt.
I am plagued by CDIFF and wish for nothing more than to be rid of this horrible infection, it is so unpredictable, painful and nasty. Tomorrow I visit the hospital yet again for more tests and Friday the doctor sees me with the results and a new plan for getting me well.
In eight days I fly out of Province for a day of negotiations with a large corporation that is waving at me money, opportunity and career notoriety. Then fourteen hours after I return from this whirlwind visit.... I leave for Europe on an action packed and greatly anticipated trip through London, Berlin and Paris.
Between now and my departure I have four private coaching appointments, four large events at The Lounge and I still need to pack, get my hair done, have a mani/pedi, complete my banking, do a small mountain of paperwork and lest I forget .... sleep.
Somewhere in all of this I also have to fit in family time, cooking, laundry, caring for a infant, uploading the June calendar, emptying my in-box and commuting time to accomplish all that I need to.
Any idea how to get more hours in a day? Personally, I am at a loss.
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Moving On Up
A large Canadian Corporation made contact with me a couple of weeks ago. We've peripherally worked alongside one another a number of times over the years, yet never had occasion to be directly doing serious business together.
Imagine my delight to receive a call from the head of the company asking me if I had time to speak. He spoke to me about my success in the adult industry and how I had grown so much over the last five to six years that he had been consciously following my activism. Though he'd actually known of me for over a decade.
I was caught off guard when he asked if they could fly me all expenses paid to their offices home Province for a day of negotiations. Amused, I dug around a little for more details. Like say, what would we be negotiating for?
It turns out they have two offerings for me, that are by far the biggest of my career thus far.
I complained a while back about how much work sits before me regularly. I digress, all the work I do has laid a strong foundation for me to now be reaching this new stage of my professional path.
The old saying remains true "that which does not kill us, makes us stronger".
Imagine my delight to receive a call from the head of the company asking me if I had time to speak. He spoke to me about my success in the adult industry and how I had grown so much over the last five to six years that he had been consciously following my activism. Though he'd actually known of me for over a decade.
I was caught off guard when he asked if they could fly me all expenses paid to their offices home Province for a day of negotiations. Amused, I dug around a little for more details. Like say, what would we be negotiating for?
It turns out they have two offerings for me, that are by far the biggest of my career thus far.
- Hire me on contract for 2011 to do a job for them that fits in perfectly with my career goals. I would gain me the notoriety I need to continue to further my career, mixed with the financial outcome that would be life changing and also assist me in being nationally recognized for my unique skill sets. There would be awesome monthly travel and a chance to hob nob with really cool people whom I have great respect for.
- They envision me creating a series of sex education DVD's that would be made available for sale to the general public, with my face and approach to teaching being marketed they would back this project financially 100%.
I complained a while back about how much work sits before me regularly. I digress, all the work I do has laid a strong foundation for me to now be reaching this new stage of my professional path.
The old saying remains true "that which does not kill us, makes us stronger".
Friday, April 30, 2010
Dick Size
Sometimes I have to laugh at how absurd life is. This was a posting on Craigs List, and it ended up in the Best Of section.
What's most amusing about this is these two guys reaction to the mere notion of one another girlfriends seeing their junk. Further, who really cares who has a larger penis? Why, I mean really, why do they care?
Have they not heard the old saying "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean"?
What's most amusing about this is these two guys reaction to the mere notion of one another girlfriends seeing their junk. Further, who really cares who has a larger penis? Why, I mean really, why do they care?
Have they not heard the old saying "It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean"?
Penis Measuring
A friend of mine and I have been having a long-standing argument about whose penis is larger. We've tried having our girlfriends confirm to the other the exact size, but neither one of us buy it. I don't want to see his penis and he doesn't want to see mine. I don't want my girlfriend looking at his penis and he doesn't was his looking at mine.
So... We just need a girl to look at both of our penises (individually) and then to both of our faces say which one is bigger. We can't pay much. $50.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
All Things Sex [5]
Fuck the Catholic Church and their self serving agenda. I am so bloody tired of their propaganda, blaming, lies and bigotry. They, as an institution should be condemned and held responsible for all the damage they have done to society as a whole.
I was contacted a couple of months back by a woman named Natasha and asked to teach a series of classes at her Adult Consumer Trade Show in Kelowna. She was unable to sign my contract though and never did send me the deposit check and now I know why. Read this article in today's Kelowna newspaper. I have many friends who are adult vendors who she scammed out of money. The lawsuit begins and I am just thankful that I wasn't dragged in to this mess. My policy for signed contracts and a 50% deposit of my fee sure has served me well in this case.
Next month I am Europe for a few weeks. Can you recommend any amazing sex stores or facilities I should be visiting in Paris, London or Berlin? I'll have time on my hands and checking out local sex culture is something I am very eager to do.
A teacher (who happens to be a lesbian) has been told to work from home here in British Columbia. Let's see what our Provincial laws have to offer this woman in terms of protection from such discrimination. CBC wrote an article on the offending school Little Flower which claim they have parents worried she could "lead students into homosexuality".
I was contacted a couple of months back by a woman named Natasha and asked to teach a series of classes at her Adult Consumer Trade Show in Kelowna. She was unable to sign my contract though and never did send me the deposit check and now I know why. Read this article in today's Kelowna newspaper. I have many friends who are adult vendors who she scammed out of money. The lawsuit begins and I am just thankful that I wasn't dragged in to this mess. My policy for signed contracts and a 50% deposit of my fee sure has served me well in this case.
Next month I am Europe for a few weeks. Can you recommend any amazing sex stores or facilities I should be visiting in Paris, London or Berlin? I'll have time on my hands and checking out local sex culture is something I am very eager to do.
A teacher (who happens to be a lesbian) has been told to work from home here in British Columbia. Let's see what our Provincial laws have to offer this woman in terms of protection from such discrimination. CBC wrote an article on the offending school Little Flower which claim they have parents worried she could "lead students into homosexuality".
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Jack & Jill Memories
No two Jack & Jills are ever even remotely the same and last nights was no exception. Ten men and nine women took part, plus Jason and I.
There was plenty going-on, oh my. Three queen sized beds pushed together to make a group play space is where most of the action centered. Some others sat on the sofas or on chairs while voyeuring and solo playing.
Upon the beds laid out in quite a stunning spectacle was six women. Each of them started with a sex toy in their hands and quickly had said items between their thighs and nestled deep inside.
Three different couples were playing on the gyno table, the padded bondage cage and under the pagoda too.
There was jacking and there was jilling.
There was girl on girl all over the place, one huge girlpuddle even.
Some woman came on a mans head while standing over his flat out body on a bed.
Jason and I had monkey sex for an appreciative audience.
Another couple was busy having reverse cowgirl sex and she worked him over so sweet, I watched transfixed for awhile.
I fisted a woman for her first time --- lucky me and oh so lucky her. Here breasts were so soft in my mouth.
Women were laughing and popping off orgasms. There were four Hitatchi's in use. Lubricant was everywhere.
The moans were lovely and the cum divine.
I watched a lovely couple 69.
And I witnessed explosions from many many men.
Women were giddy with lust and one another.
Many of the attendees had never met one another before.
It was a most enjoyable way to spend an evening amongst new friends.
Monday, April 26, 2010
In the LeaderPost
Back home in beautiful British Columbia means that I survived yet another tour with Taboo.
I awoke in my own bed this morning and found this newspaper article highlighting me.
Today is all about the baby and me. We are playing games, cuddling up and spending time together.
Tonight is Jack & Jill.
I awoke in my own bed this morning and found this newspaper article highlighting me.
Today is all about the baby and me. We are playing games, cuddling up and spending time together.
Tonight is Jack & Jill.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Last day in Regina
Last day of Taboo. Thank God. I am so tired.
Tonight after today's final two classes, I fly home. My flight gets in at 11PM so the day is going to be a long one.
My feet hurt, despite changing out of my four inch heels right after each class and putting my flats right back on.
My voice is cracking even though I have a head set and a sound system.
I managed to get myself hired by three different Regina businesses and will be returning in just a few weeks to teach again and will continue to do so for the rest of the year.
I've made new friends here and we already have plans on networking in many fabulous ways.
Time to head back to the show, then flying back to Abbotsford. I love my job immensely and miss my family and home horribly.
Tonight after today's final two classes, I fly home. My flight gets in at 11PM so the day is going to be a long one.
My feet hurt, despite changing out of my four inch heels right after each class and putting my flats right back on.
My voice is cracking even though I have a head set and a sound system.
I managed to get myself hired by three different Regina businesses and will be returning in just a few weeks to teach again and will continue to do so for the rest of the year.
I've made new friends here and we already have plans on networking in many fabulous ways.
Time to head back to the show, then flying back to Abbotsford. I love my job immensely and miss my family and home horribly.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
They Love Me
Apparently, I am really fucking amazingly good at what I do according to the massive numbers of people who told me so following my classes and stage show last night. Here are but a few of the things I've heard said ....
This news doesn't come as a surprise to me, it's more that I am pleased that Regina feels the way about me as all the other cities do.
I'm feeling on top of my game and very blessed this morning. Years of honing my skills has paid of.
Taboo has offered me something very very special and I have said YES. Who could say no to be honored? No details to share yet, but when the time comes, you'll be proud of me too. I'm already patting myself on the back over the news.
I've already done some shopping at the show and have two beautiful new corsets and matching thongs to bring home. And now before the show opens this afternoon I am heading to some local stores to do a little more browsing around to see if I can find anything else out of the ordinary that piques my interest.
- Incredibly hot topics.
- Abundantly knowledgeable.
- Refreshing teaching style.
- Joyful as a teacher.
- Energetic.
- Inspiring woman.
- Enthusiastic subject matter,
- Inspirational as a package.
This news doesn't come as a surprise to me, it's more that I am pleased that Regina feels the way about me as all the other cities do.
I'm feeling on top of my game and very blessed this morning. Years of honing my skills has paid of.
Taboo has offered me something very very special and I have said YES. Who could say no to be honored? No details to share yet, but when the time comes, you'll be proud of me too. I'm already patting myself on the back over the news.
I've already done some shopping at the show and have two beautiful new corsets and matching thongs to bring home. And now before the show opens this afternoon I am heading to some local stores to do a little more browsing around to see if I can find anything else out of the ordinary that piques my interest.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Regina Sexuality Classes
I am settled safely in Regina after an uneventful flight here early this morning. My bags are unpacked and the weather is very Spring like, thankfully.
I need to be at Taboo shortly, because I have a pre-booked media interview shortly and then Day 1 of 3 days worth of classes to teach.
Further, I am on main stage this evening and need to go check it out as I've never seen the stage here before.
It's going to be fun to meet a whole new audience, I'm eager to see how they respond to my style of teaching and presentation.
Wish me luck.
I need to be at Taboo shortly, because I have a pre-booked media interview shortly and then Day 1 of 3 days worth of classes to teach.
Further, I am on main stage this evening and need to go check it out as I've never seen the stage here before.
It's going to be fun to meet a whole new audience, I'm eager to see how they respond to my style of teaching and presentation.
Wish me luck.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
A Change of Pace
We had dinner tonight with a lovely couple we met a few years back in the local scene. They are life time Lounge members and good friends too.
It's always nice when the four of us get together outside of events and have a chance to talk with a party going on around us.
We did however need to take the baby with us, and for some reason he chose this evening to be a handful. So not like him. Perhaps he knows that tomorrow I"m leaving for a few days and acting up was his way of getting more time with me.
Not that it mattered though, dinner was absolutely delicious and we were happy to have an excuse to get dressed up and go out for a shared meal with our pals.
Now I need to finish packing for my flight early tomorrow morning to Regina.
It's always nice when the four of us get together outside of events and have a chance to talk with a party going on around us.
We did however need to take the baby with us, and for some reason he chose this evening to be a handful. So not like him. Perhaps he knows that tomorrow I"m leaving for a few days and acting up was his way of getting more time with me.
Not that it mattered though, dinner was absolutely delicious and we were happy to have an excuse to get dressed up and go out for a shared meal with our pals.
Now I need to finish packing for my flight early tomorrow morning to Regina.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Woman Bound For Dessert
Not a lot of time on my hands these days between looking after a fast moving almost five month old and readying for my work trip to Saskatchewan this weekend.Jason took me to the Army and Navy Shoe Sale today, you know the one, the big annual shoe extravaganza they host that even the evening news covers. Well not only did he drive me all the way downtown, but he also bought me every pair of shoes that I wanted. I was a wee bit greedy and gleeful, and who wouldn't be with hot sexy new shoes. It could be said that Jason is my "Shoegar Daddy".
I downloaded from my iPhone a photo taken at last weeks Deviant Dining of our human dessert platter, and the lovely woman who was the center piece consented to my posting it here.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Busy Woman
I have a fair bit to accomplish today so this post is going to be rather short.
This morning I awoke to a media request for an interview and currently I am awaiting a call from them to discuss the details.
As I leave later this week for Taboo Regina, I need to get my teaching bag and my belongings all packed up. Being so far from home means I have to remember to include everything as I won't be coming home each night. I'll be missing the baby and my family but the break from the routine of new motherhood will be a nice diversion.
I was pleasantly surprised this morning to read a most wonderful review of one couples experience at last weeks Deviant Dining. Wait till they learn of our plans for next months dinner, it is something else rather titillating that I'm confident will draw a great crowd.
Last night we brought this home for the baby, a splurge for the little guy and one that I know is going to make him so happy this summer. Assembly was a breeze too.
This morning I awoke to a media request for an interview and currently I am awaiting a call from them to discuss the details.
As I leave later this week for Taboo Regina, I need to get my teaching bag and my belongings all packed up. Being so far from home means I have to remember to include everything as I won't be coming home each night. I'll be missing the baby and my family but the break from the routine of new motherhood will be a nice diversion.
I was pleasantly surprised this morning to read a most wonderful review of one couples experience at last weeks Deviant Dining. Wait till they learn of our plans for next months dinner, it is something else rather titillating that I'm confident will draw a great crowd.
Last night we brought this home for the baby, a splurge for the little guy and one that I know is going to make him so happy this summer. Assembly was a breeze too.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Growing Up Sheltered & Hurt
When I look back on my life as a young person (childhood through adolescence) I am amazed and saddened at how little exposure I was given to anything empowering that would have shown me the potential for me to be able to grow into the adult that I so wanted to become.
My parents did a piss poor job exposing me to new ideas & concepts, positive self thinking, dream realization and role models.
I shaped my own life and embarked on my own journey of discovery rather young. I was about 13 when I started branching out away from my family and witnessing the world through new lenses.
My teenage years were turbulent but I owned this period of time in my life. I wanted an adventure and I set about having one. Variety was the flavor of the day and each day I sampled something different voraciously. I was deeply hurt by the sheltering existence my parents had blanketed me under and wanted to brush these memories away in favor of newer better ones.
I was inquisitive, positive and believing in myself even though my mother was so hateful towards me. My father was deeply inappropriate and had poor boundary setting skills. Neither of my parents was very responsible with their child rearing and as such my brother and I payed the price for their ignorance.
My mother was by far the single most damaging person to my young self. She treated me in ways my children will never experience thankfully. My mother was cruel and unhappy and she lashed out at me, her eldest. My mother hurt me without mercy emotionally and physically. Due to her actions towards me I vowed from a young age to never ever be anything like her and to rise above that type of behavior to be happier, open-minded and more self aware. I knew my children would know unconditional love, acceptance and live without shame, and they do.
My mother set about to damn anything I ever believed in, longed for or cherished. My father invested in nothing and it showed in everything he was involved with.
Today in my adult life, I am without doubt fairly close to being what I had hoped to become while I was dreaming as a youngster. Seems odd perhaps to say this given that I deal today in sexuality and adult oriented business, but it is true. I wanted to be progressive, sex positive, tolerant and adventurous and I have accomplished this all.
Despite hurdles that seemed insurmountable at the time, and years of cautiously making my way, I have arrived happy to a most rewarding place in life.
My children will have every opportunity to open their wings and fly in their own direction of choice with me fully supporting them.
My parents did a piss poor job exposing me to new ideas & concepts, positive self thinking, dream realization and role models.
I shaped my own life and embarked on my own journey of discovery rather young. I was about 13 when I started branching out away from my family and witnessing the world through new lenses.
My teenage years were turbulent but I owned this period of time in my life. I wanted an adventure and I set about having one. Variety was the flavor of the day and each day I sampled something different voraciously. I was deeply hurt by the sheltering existence my parents had blanketed me under and wanted to brush these memories away in favor of newer better ones.
I was inquisitive, positive and believing in myself even though my mother was so hateful towards me. My father was deeply inappropriate and had poor boundary setting skills. Neither of my parents was very responsible with their child rearing and as such my brother and I payed the price for their ignorance.
My mother was by far the single most damaging person to my young self. She treated me in ways my children will never experience thankfully. My mother was cruel and unhappy and she lashed out at me, her eldest. My mother hurt me without mercy emotionally and physically. Due to her actions towards me I vowed from a young age to never ever be anything like her and to rise above that type of behavior to be happier, open-minded and more self aware. I knew my children would know unconditional love, acceptance and live without shame, and they do.
My mother set about to damn anything I ever believed in, longed for or cherished. My father invested in nothing and it showed in everything he was involved with.
Today in my adult life, I am without doubt fairly close to being what I had hoped to become while I was dreaming as a youngster. Seems odd perhaps to say this given that I deal today in sexuality and adult oriented business, but it is true. I wanted to be progressive, sex positive, tolerant and adventurous and I have accomplished this all.
Despite hurdles that seemed insurmountable at the time, and years of cautiously making my way, I have arrived happy to a most rewarding place in life.
My children will have every opportunity to open their wings and fly in their own direction of choice with me fully supporting them.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
The Men In My Life
Today I wanted nothing more than to take it easy. We have hosted really big and well attended events for the past three nights and it has just wiped me out, I am drained.
Imagine my delight to be able to capture this moment of play between my two most favorite men in the whole wide world.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Sexual Abuse of Boys
FRONTLINE GOES UNDERCOVER TO EXPOSE THE RITUAL SEXUAL ABUSE OF BOYS IN AFGHANISTAN
FRONTLINE Presents The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan
Tuesday, April 20, 2010, at 9 P.M. ET on PBS
As the United States deepens its commitment to Afghanistan, FRONTLINE takes viewers inside the war-torn nation to reveal a disturbing practice that is once again flourishing in the country: the organized sexual abuse of adolescent boys.
In The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan, airing Tuesday, April 20, 2010, at 9 P.M. on PBS (check local listings), Afghan journalist Najibullah Quraishi (Behind Taliban Lines) returns to his native land to expose an ancient practice that has been brought back by powerful warlords, former military commanders and wealthy businessmen. Known as “bacha bazi” (literal translation: “boy play”), this illegal practice exploits street orphans and poor boys, some as young as 11, whose parents are paid to give over their sons to their new “masters.”
The men dress the boys in women’s clothes and train them to sing and dance for the entertainment of themselves and their friends. According to experts, the dancing boys are used sexually by these powerful men.
In detailed conversations with several bacha bazi masters in northern Afghanistan and with the dancing boys they own, reporter Quraishi reveals a culture where wealthy Afghan men openly exploit some of the poorest, most vulnerable members of their society.
“What was so unnerving about the men I had met was not just their lack of concern for the damage their abuse was doing to the boys,” Quraishi says. “It was also their casualness with which they operated and the pride with which they showed me their boys, their friends, their world. They clearly believed that nothing they were doing was wrong.”
Under the guise of doing a documentary on similar practices in Europe, Quraishi gained the confidence of Dastager, a former mujahideen commander and wealthy businessman whose business interests include importing autos from the Far East. With Dastager as his guide, Quraishi takes viewers inside the world of bacha bazi, where prominent men compete to own and use the boys.
“I had a boy because every commander had a partner,” says Mestary, a former senior commander who is well connected with major Afghan warlords. “Among the commanders there is competition, and if I didn’t have one, then I could not compete with them.”
“I go to every province to have happiness and pleasure with boys,” says an Afghan man known as “The German,” who acts as a bacha bazi pimp, supplying boys to the men. “Some boys are not good for dancing, and they will be used for other purposes. ... I mean for sodomy and other sexual activities.”
“It’s a disgusting practice. ... It’s a form of slavery, taking a child, keeping him. It’s a form of sexual slavery,” says Radhika Coomaraswamy, U.N. special representative for Children and Armed Conflict. “The only way to stop bacha bazi is if you prosecute the people who commit the crime, and that’s what we need, because the laws are there in the books against this practice.”
In the documentary, Quraishi interviews local police officials who insist that men who participate in bacha bazi will be arrested and punished regardless of their wealth or powerful connections. Later that day, however, Quraishi’s cameras catch two officers from the same police department attending an illegal bacha bazi party.
“Many of the people who do this work for the government,” says Nazir Alimy, who compiled a report on bacha bazi for UNICEF. “They speak out against it but are abusers themselves. ... I personally cannot mention any names because I am scared.”
Quraishi speaks with some dancing boys who fear they will be beaten or killed. “If they stray, they get killed,” says a 13-year-old dancing boy. “Sometimes fighting happens among the men who own the boys. If you don’t please them, they beat you, and people get killed.”
Quraishi also talks with the family of 15-year-old Hafiz, who reportedly was murdered after trying to escape from his master, a well-known drug baron and warlord. In Hafiz’s case, a suspect -- the policeman who supplied the gun that killed Hafiz -- was arrested and convicted. Sentenced to 16 years in prison, the officer was released after serving only a few months. Hafiz’s family says they suspect the boy’s former owner bribed local officials to win his release.
“If only these people were punished, this kind of thing wouldn’t happen,” Hafiz’s mother says. “Whoever commits these crimes doesn’t get punished. Power is power.”
The program will conclude with a detailed update of attempts to arrange the rescue of one of the dancing boys profiled in the film, an 11-year-old boy bought by Dastager from an impoverished rural family. It is a dramatic final chapter, full of new shocks and surprises, and, in the end, provides a measure of justice for the boy and his master.
FRONTLINE Presents The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan
Tuesday, April 20, 2010, at 9 P.M. ET on PBS
As the United States deepens its commitment to Afghanistan, FRONTLINE takes viewers inside the war-torn nation to reveal a disturbing practice that is once again flourishing in the country: the organized sexual abuse of adolescent boys.
In The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan, airing Tuesday, April 20, 2010, at 9 P.M. on PBS (check local listings), Afghan journalist Najibullah Quraishi (Behind Taliban Lines) returns to his native land to expose an ancient practice that has been brought back by powerful warlords, former military commanders and wealthy businessmen. Known as “bacha bazi” (literal translation: “boy play”), this illegal practice exploits street orphans and poor boys, some as young as 11, whose parents are paid to give over their sons to their new “masters.”
The men dress the boys in women’s clothes and train them to sing and dance for the entertainment of themselves and their friends. According to experts, the dancing boys are used sexually by these powerful men.
In detailed conversations with several bacha bazi masters in northern Afghanistan and with the dancing boys they own, reporter Quraishi reveals a culture where wealthy Afghan men openly exploit some of the poorest, most vulnerable members of their society.
“What was so unnerving about the men I had met was not just their lack of concern for the damage their abuse was doing to the boys,” Quraishi says. “It was also their casualness with which they operated and the pride with which they showed me their boys, their friends, their world. They clearly believed that nothing they were doing was wrong.”
Under the guise of doing a documentary on similar practices in Europe, Quraishi gained the confidence of Dastager, a former mujahideen commander and wealthy businessman whose business interests include importing autos from the Far East. With Dastager as his guide, Quraishi takes viewers inside the world of bacha bazi, where prominent men compete to own and use the boys.
“I had a boy because every commander had a partner,” says Mestary, a former senior commander who is well connected with major Afghan warlords. “Among the commanders there is competition, and if I didn’t have one, then I could not compete with them.”
“I go to every province to have happiness and pleasure with boys,” says an Afghan man known as “The German,” who acts as a bacha bazi pimp, supplying boys to the men. “Some boys are not good for dancing, and they will be used for other purposes. ... I mean for sodomy and other sexual activities.”
“It’s a disgusting practice. ... It’s a form of slavery, taking a child, keeping him. It’s a form of sexual slavery,” says Radhika Coomaraswamy, U.N. special representative for Children and Armed Conflict. “The only way to stop bacha bazi is if you prosecute the people who commit the crime, and that’s what we need, because the laws are there in the books against this practice.”
In the documentary, Quraishi interviews local police officials who insist that men who participate in bacha bazi will be arrested and punished regardless of their wealth or powerful connections. Later that day, however, Quraishi’s cameras catch two officers from the same police department attending an illegal bacha bazi party.
“Many of the people who do this work for the government,” says Nazir Alimy, who compiled a report on bacha bazi for UNICEF. “They speak out against it but are abusers themselves. ... I personally cannot mention any names because I am scared.”
Quraishi speaks with some dancing boys who fear they will be beaten or killed. “If they stray, they get killed,” says a 13-year-old dancing boy. “Sometimes fighting happens among the men who own the boys. If you don’t please them, they beat you, and people get killed.”
Quraishi also talks with the family of 15-year-old Hafiz, who reportedly was murdered after trying to escape from his master, a well-known drug baron and warlord. In Hafiz’s case, a suspect -- the policeman who supplied the gun that killed Hafiz -- was arrested and convicted. Sentenced to 16 years in prison, the officer was released after serving only a few months. Hafiz’s family says they suspect the boy’s former owner bribed local officials to win his release.
“If only these people were punished, this kind of thing wouldn’t happen,” Hafiz’s mother says. “Whoever commits these crimes doesn’t get punished. Power is power.”
The program will conclude with a detailed update of attempts to arrange the rescue of one of the dancing boys profiled in the film, an 11-year-old boy bought by Dastager from an impoverished rural family. It is a dramatic final chapter, full of new shocks and surprises, and, in the end, provides a measure of justice for the boy and his master.
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