Leader, and Leadership

In a recent on line conversation thread, someone posed a question about the responsibilities of event organizers to their guests.

After receiving minimal input from the very groups of businesses he named (only one replied) many other people stepped in to offer insight. Each of these people not being a business, rather being individuals who put together offerings out of their personal homes. (they also pay no taxes, have no business licenses, pay no rent on a facility, so on and so on)

Then when the original author realized after a few days he was not going to get any input from most, he painted the businesses all with the same damming brush for not answering his public questions.

I found it somewhat ironic to be placed amongst the list of requested people to spring forth and answer him given his propensity to get caught up in community drama over the years.

I also found it amusing that those of us listed by him originally started as being called event organizers, and rather rapidly were referred to as "Leaders" in our community. Now which community he was referring to eludes me, alas I did not feel it important to ask for clarification.

Somehow in one short post I went from being an event organizer, to a Leader. That's a lofty title to be bestowing upon someone, especially a person who didn't even ask for it, nor wants it.

Being referred to as leader when not even asked and given the chance to decline is rather disturbing and also presumptuous about my motives behind what I do.

I don't own and operate Libido Events and Libido Lounge to be a leader. I don't teach to be called a leader, I don't do coaching work to be considered a leader. I am not involved in sex culture to be a leader.

I do all that I do as I recognize it's value to those who seek me out for what I have to offer them.

I am certainly aware that many people consider me a role-model, and I am flattered by this. Though I very clearly see the differences between being a leader and a role model.

My standards of behavior, regard, ethics and personal responsibility are higher than many others. Then again, I am a business owner charged with maintaining such standards in order to ensure the success of my career, others privacy and access to a safe place to explore their sexuality.

Calling me a leader is a title I will not permit someone to pin on me.

I am a business owner, with a long term plan for my pursuits and for those who frequent my non political corner of the world.

Am I required to step up each time someone wants to ask questions of me in a public forum who is not a part of my business? I think not.

Am I supposed to prescribe to someone else standards and beliefs because they put them out on the internet? I think not.

Call me an activist, educator, coach, healer, lover, listener, creator, business owner, professional speaker, event organizer: but keep the fucking title of leader to yourself, because I sure in the hell don't want it.

And the results are

Our appointment for my scan was this morning at eight, and I was to arrive on time with one full liter in my ready to explode bladder.

I was good and followed the instructions to the letter.

She scanned my belly with Jason outside in the waiting room as partners are not permitted in the room until the end of the ultrasound.

Then after fifteen minutes of squishing my belly about and clicking photos, she went and got my guy.

When they returned she showed us the babies face, eyes, nose and mouth. Then the hands and each digit, along with the feet and of course the toes.

We then saw the spine, heart and umbilical cord.

Then the baby did a somersault on the monitor, right then and there. This of course made the little one moon us and we could see each perfect butt cheek.

Imagine our glee as we also were shown the most glorious view of his penis.

We are having a boy.

And we have the photos to prove it.

**yes I know I used the name Jason in the writing of this post. RC is Jason and Jason is RC. Thank you to everyone who emailed me thinking I didn't realize what I had done. Jennifer and Jason are having a baby boy and now we make a family of four.

Pregnant & Kinky

In less than 24 hours, we find out. At 8 AM tomorrow morning is the ultra sound where we will finally know if the baby is a girl, or a boy. I am so excited I could almost pee myself. Then again my bladder is the size of a grape lately, so peeing myself doesn't actually seem all that unusual. Anyways, I am very happy.

Tonight's Deviant Dining had fourteen people at it. The night was absolutely lovely, the food more than this pregnant woman could have asked for and, the talk was a wide range of perfect topics for such a feisty group.

A few minutes ago, RC felt the baby move for the first time.

This whole day rocked.

Attractive Qualities

When looking at individuals, I find myself attracted to a wide range of differing types. There are a great number of qualities that I look for in someone and many others that are distinct deal breakers.

Putting the turn-offs first, here is a list that makes "a potential" no longer on my radar:

1. if you are a smoker
2. if you have no job
3. if you don't practice good hygiene
4. if you have no hobbies
5. if you have little interest in sex
6. if you have little to no interest in BDSM
7. if you can't be out about me and my career
8. if you dislike children
9. if you are a drug user
10. if you have poor table manners
11. if you are regularly tardy
12. if you blame others for your troubles
13. if you are unimaginative
14. if you don't drive

And now the list of who actually catches my eye:

1. you are gainfully employed
2. you are tolerant, open minded and sex positive
3. you love life
4. you find sex and sexuality to be at the center of a relationship
5. you are creative and passionate
6. you are funny enough to make people laugh
   
7. you own your life and responsibilities
8. you are full of surprises, initiative and personally driven
9. you have strong family ties
10. others find you to be honorable
11. you have a career you find fulfilling that meets your needs plus more
12. you noticed me, yet didn't try to get in my pants without courting me first
13. you are organized, tidy and know how to keep clean your own home
    
14. you can keep plants and perhaps even pets alive
15. you believe in ethical non monogamy & are able to practice it

Aches & Pains

Now and again you just need to splurge on something big. Today was that special day.

I bought an electric Shiatsu back massage station.

It is quite simply the best investment ever. This simple machine alleviates aches and pains. How cool is that.

My plan is to use it all through my pregnancy and delivery too. I *may* even allow other family members to make use of it when I am not on it.

I need sleep

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UFC, Scotch and Poker

While I am hosting the Couples Only Sex Party at The Lounge this evening, my man will be at home doing something completely different.

RC is hosting a UFC on the big projector, Scotch tasting and poker party for his friends in our new home.

When I told the teenager I was out of the house working and she would be home with the men, she chuckled. When I mentioned to my daughter, she was in charge of all the men and should she find strippers arriving, she should deal with it accordingly. Her response was "this is not something covered in my babysitting class".

I trust we will all have a great time.

Study: Ugly Men Are More Fertile During Sex

For you ladies out there who like to indulge your sweet (ahem) tooth with eye candy, don't expect to spawn much in the way of fruit from your loins. New research suggests that attractive men produce less sperm during sex than ugly men. Call it arrogance and egotism if you like, but scientists prefer to chalk it up to evolution. Scientists believe that like chickens and fish (yes, the comparisons may seem especially apt), attractive men are hard-wired to preserve sperm during individual encounters in order to increase their chances of impregnating as many females as possible. University College London researcher Sam Tazzyman says, "The more attractive a male is, the more females will be willing to mate with him, reducing the value of each mating to him. This means it is optimal for him to contribute fewer sperm per mating." This strategy, though some would call it an attitude, actually maximizes the number of children an attractive man sires overall. Tazzyman adds, "Less attractive males secure fewer matings but value each of them more highly, and by allocating more sperm to each mating make the most of their meagre opportunities."

Continue reading the rest of the article here

Help us & Get Something for Yourself

The Vancouver Pride Parade and festivities are fast approaching. Sunday August 2 to be precise.

The cost of entertaining the city for hours, and drawing tourism dollars into the city is not cheap for participants.

It is a rather pricey amount of money to invest for an entry into the parade.

Libido Lounge entered the parade last year and has done so again for this years big event too. Last year, we even landed the cover of X-Tra West newspaper as the feature photo! It was spectacular.

This year, our plans are to wow the crowds again, gaining even more exposure for our events, membership and core belief in sex positivity and inclusion.

We are looking to raise funds to cover the costs of what a day like this entails. We have corporate sponsorship, and now we are reaching out to you with some private offerings....

Here is how you can help:


1. Donate $200 for a sex class with Jennifer of any topic of your choosing from this list and you and up to 6 friends may take it together at The Lounge. Classes are 2-3 hours long. Not Valid on Fridays or Saturdays. Pop and water supplied. A guest list must be provided to us ahead of time and every person must have valid legal photo ID and be 19 +.

2. Donate $250 and get yourself and up to 12 of your closest friends, 3 hours of play time at The Lounge. Pop & water supplied. You may bring in your own snacks. Not valid Saturday evenings. Event must end no later than 1 AM. A guest list must be provided to us ahead of time and every person must have valid legal photo ID and be 19 +.

3. Donate $350 and get yourself and up to 12 of your closest friends, 4 hours of play time at The Lounge. Pop & water supplied. You may bring in your own snacks. Not valid Sat evenings. Event must end no later than 1 AM. A guest list must be provided to us ahead of time and every person must have valid legal photo ID and be 19 +.

4. Donate $500 and Jennifer along with at least five of her sexiest friends will put on a titillating all girl live sex show for you or you and your partner. The eye candy will be more than you could hope for and you'll be thinking about the experience for years to come. 2 hours long. There is no sex between you and us, only between us girls as we are all friends. Your spot is to sit back at The Lounge and take in the sights, no touching the girls permitted, touching yourself is encouraged. Pop & water supplied. Not valid Friday or Saturday evenings. You must have valid legal photo ID and be 19 +.

5. Donate $50 and have our undying gratitude for supporting us in our worthwhile efforts.



All offers are valid for 6 months post Pride, till February 2 2010.

To make your donation send me an email to jennifer@libidoevents.com ASAP. Time is of the essence.

Skinnydipping Vancouver

Guinness World Record for Simultaneous Skinnydipping in North America

To participate in the event with the Wreck Beach Preservation Society on Saturday, July 11th, please be at the bottom of Wreck Beach Trail #6 by 10:00 a.m. to guarantee that you have signed the participant sheets which must be officially witnessed.

Participants must be in the water before 12:00 Noon so we can photograph you officially exactly at noon.

This is not clothing optional.

This is a nude, skinnydipping event but will only take a few minutes so please make sure you have signed the participant sheets volunteers will be carrying on clipboards or at the table we will have set up.

Please be on time as we must shoot the photos at noon on the nose.

Info at 604-856-9598 or at 604-308-6336 and ask for Judy.

Link to where this originated from

Change

My home office is starting to come together. Boxes are being unpacked at a steady pace and the contents landing into their appropriate places.

Not one book is out yet and that accounts for about fifteen boxes stacked in the closet and in the corner of the den. It is starting to grate me the wrong way that such a large part of unpacking still remains to be dealt with yet there is nothing I can do about it.

You see, the office contains what amounts to a small adult boutique's amount of products and toys. Making everything fit, be accessible and laid out as I need it to be is critical.

I am more interested in setting things up once and correctly, then doing it over again from an improper failed attempt.

It's become obvious to me, and to RC, that I need a custom built book cabinet to hold all my literature within easy access and sight.

The den likely will not be all sorted out for another couple of weeks. I need to practice patience on this matter that's for sure.

All my toys and implements are organized but my desk is no where near ready for me to sit at. Lucky for me that the internet is cordless and I can work from anywhere in the house. Not the ideal, but at least in the short term I can still accomplish the tasks I need to.

I must admit though, that I have spent an unusual amount of time working from my bed lately. I will be so glad to have my office operational so there will be just one place where the piles of paper will be so I can always find what I am seeking.

This move has done-me-in and I am now confident that being pregnant and moving into a new house was not the most ideal in the planning department. One of these two things I will definitely never be doing again.

Can you guess which one?

Sex Applause

We were house guests at this fancy soiree and looking forward to the experience, as the hosts know how to throw a party. I was far from unknown, many of the well over a hundred people present knew who I was. I couldn't make it very far in the early part of the evening without being stopped and confided in, or asked questions of. I enjoyed the idle chit chat, the laid back atmosphere was perfect for my then mood.

Dinner came and went, our table had friends and lively conversation. The Emcee called out for me, and I won a prize. What it was, is much to embarrassing to even put in print. There was cheering for classes I had hosted from the many attendees, I was flattered and enjoyed basking in the moment.

After dinner, the man wanted a cigar. We sat outside in the warm night air on lawn chairs with long time friends for quite some time as he casually smoked and the conversations were lively amongst us all.

Soon it was time for the hot tub and as we headed that way my man decided to dance with me, quietly, just the two of us, far away from the actual dance floor. (the wine had gotten to him) We moved together for a short time, and I fell in love with him all over again. He couldn't keep his hands off of me, and kept telling me of how beautiful I am pregnant. Giggling at him, we went hand and hand to disrobe.

Out of clothes we decided to forgo the indoor hot tub and instead head to the outdoors one. What an excellent decision that was. The people we sat alongside were such a riot, one couple had been in classes with me earlier and another women whispered to me how she has a huge crush on me. As we all sat naked talking, the final traces of light disappeared from the nights sky.

We started to get a look that resembled prunes before it became obvious we were water logged. A decision was made to make our way towards the sex rooms. The beds were almost all in use, at least twenty five other couples were already going at it. Finally we scoped out a spot for ourselves and claimed it as our love corner.

Details are not so relevant at this point, RC and I know what we did. I will tell you that I squirted so hard that it went straight up my back and soaked everything. Orgasms for both of us, and an outlet for my special friend my Hitatchi. Oral for both of us, me for an unusually long period of time, the attention was certainly nice.

There was applause as our sex ended, how sweet. I was startled to realize how many people had been watching us go at it and we'd been going for some time. I was just lost in the him and me time. We laid on our bed talking with those around us for another half hour or so before we left to get ourselves a snack and cold drinks.

When my brain could not focus any longer, and fatigue had gotten the better of me, I drove the two of us back to our hotel. Since RC had been drinking, me driving was the only way we were going to get anywhere.

Out of our clothes yet again, me snuggled onto his arm and shoulder I fell into a deep peaceful sleep. I so love him.

Same sex legal in India

Found in the Province On-Line
(thanks Lisa for sending this along)

148-year ban overturned by highest court


News Services July 3, 2009

An Indian court has overturned a 148-year-old colonial law banning homosexual relationships, saying it was an affront to human dignity.

Same-sex couples with rainbow-painted faces kissed at Delhi's Jantar Mantar monument in scenes that would have been unthinkable in conservative India before the ban was lifted. The ban was introduced by British officials and describes sexual intercourse between people of the same sex as an "unnatural offence."

Government lawyers said same-sex relationships were "indecent," against Indian values, and if decriminalized would lead to an increase in delinquent behaviour and pose a health hazard.

Their argument was rejected yesterday by Delhi's High Court judges who said the ban denied homosexuals equal rights.

Muslim clerics and the Roman Catholic church spokesmen said they still regarded homosexuality as immoral.

Ahmed Bukhari, the chief imam at Delhi's Jama Masjid mosque, said: "This is absolutely wrong. We will not accept any such law."

© Copyright (c) The Province

Dinner, Sex and a Party

I spent the better part of today's daylight hours leading couples on erotic journey's through oral skills for him and her, and then through wild sex. The dynamics of interactive teaching are fascinating and most fulfilling for me personally and obviously for the participants as well.

Next we are off to a dinner party. Well more accurately we are going to share a meal with lovely lovely dinner companions, then we are going to relax and let our food settle before we shift into play party mode as that proceeds the dinner portion of the evening. There will be dancing, laughing, friends, hot tubbing, a massage and most certainly some down and dirty sex.

I am very much looking forward to being catered to after my very long day.

Happy July 4th to all my American friends.

On the road again

I am South of the border, nestled into a spacious air conditioned hotel suite courtesy of my hosts.

Now we are heading out to shop till we drop, and too find ourselves a lunch of something scrumptious.

Water, Sun & Family

We spent a family day out exhausting ourselves, eating a picnic and tanning our bodies.

Canada Day Celebration Vancouver

Happy Canada Day Everyone.

We celebrated by awaking early, packing a picnic and going to the beach.

A day spent in the sun, amongst all the other nudists at Wreck was just what we needed. There were plenty of other perverts we knew kicking around to keep us lost in great conversations for hours.

This was my first time being naked and pregnant in public. As it was rather windy down at the water, I was oblivious to how much sun I had actually taken in.

Currently I am sunburned and exhausted.

Sex reassignment surgery, Vancouver

By Bill Siksay

What are the limits of medicare coverage? Does prejudice against an identifiable minority affect decisions about who gets covered? Does “medically necessity” not apply to minority communities?

These questions are raised when members of the transsexual and transgender community are denied medical coverage for sex reassignment surgery (SRS) and related therapies, including hormone therapy, hair removal, and breast augmentation.

Transsexual and transgender folks have a different experience of gender than many Canadians. Some trans folks experience their gender opposite to their physical sexual characteristics, a feeling of being in the wrong body. To correct this, they look to SRS. Others experience their gender in ways that are different to the accepted binary theory of gender that says you are either male or female. These folks find their gender on a continuum between or beyond male and female. Some trans folks feel no need to change their physical sex, and may live out their lives as neither traditionally male or female.

Continue reading the rest of this fascinating article on the Straight.com's website.

Identification & dismissal of every gay person

"Fruit machine" is a jocular term for a device developed in Canada that was supposed to be able to identify homosexual people, or "fruits". The subjects were made to view pornography, and the device measured the diameter of the pupils of the eyes (pupillary response test), perspiration, and pulse for a supposed erotic response.

The fruit machine was employed in Canada in the 1950s and 1960s during a campaign to eliminate all homosexuals from the civil service, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP), and the military. A substantial number of workers did lose their jobs. Although funding for the "fruit machine" project was cut off in the late 1960s, the investigations continued, and the RCMP collected files on over 9,000 suspected homosexuals.

The chair was like one from a dentist's office. It had a pulley with a camera going towards the pupils. There was a black box in front of it that showed pictures. The pictures ranged from the mundane to sexually explicit photos of men and women. It had previously been determined that the pupils would dilate in relation to the amount of interest in the picture. This was called the pupillary response test.

Read more here

This is so fascinating to me learn about as I had no previous knowledge of this, nor have I ever heard a whisper about it from any source.

Can you imagine something like the fruit machine being used today? It just makes me sick. I am so disgusted that the RCMP were a part of such underhanded homophobic activities and on the other hand delighted the machine is no longer in use.

Stonewall Riots

It will only be listed today, in such a high profile manner.

It's worth having a read, the story, facts and history are fascinating as hell.

Today, Wikipedias Feature article on their home/front page is about The Stonewall Riots. Do you know the background on our kinky past?

Excellent timing for this to happen as this is around the time that Pride events and parades start to happen around the world.

Go and check it out for yourself, but remember, it will only be on their home page today, then after that, you'll have to source it out from their archives as any other article.

Have a great Sunday!