Leader, and Leadership

In a recent on line conversation thread, someone posed a question about the responsibilities of event organizers to their guests.

After receiving minimal input from the very groups of businesses he named (only one replied) many other people stepped in to offer insight. Each of these people not being a business, rather being individuals who put together offerings out of their personal homes. (they also pay no taxes, have no business licenses, pay no rent on a facility, so on and so on)

Then when the original author realized after a few days he was not going to get any input from most, he painted the businesses all with the same damming brush for not answering his public questions.

I found it somewhat ironic to be placed amongst the list of requested people to spring forth and answer him given his propensity to get caught up in community drama over the years.

I also found it amusing that those of us listed by him originally started as being called event organizers, and rather rapidly were referred to as "Leaders" in our community. Now which community he was referring to eludes me, alas I did not feel it important to ask for clarification.

Somehow in one short post I went from being an event organizer, to a Leader. That's a lofty title to be bestowing upon someone, especially a person who didn't even ask for it, nor wants it.

Being referred to as leader when not even asked and given the chance to decline is rather disturbing and also presumptuous about my motives behind what I do.

I don't own and operate Libido Events and Libido Lounge to be a leader. I don't teach to be called a leader, I don't do coaching work to be considered a leader. I am not involved in sex culture to be a leader.

I do all that I do as I recognize it's value to those who seek me out for what I have to offer them.

I am certainly aware that many people consider me a role-model, and I am flattered by this. Though I very clearly see the differences between being a leader and a role model.

My standards of behavior, regard, ethics and personal responsibility are higher than many others. Then again, I am a business owner charged with maintaining such standards in order to ensure the success of my career, others privacy and access to a safe place to explore their sexuality.

Calling me a leader is a title I will not permit someone to pin on me.

I am a business owner, with a long term plan for my pursuits and for those who frequent my non political corner of the world.

Am I required to step up each time someone wants to ask questions of me in a public forum who is not a part of my business? I think not.

Am I supposed to prescribe to someone else standards and beliefs because they put them out on the internet? I think not.

Call me an activist, educator, coach, healer, lover, listener, creator, business owner, professional speaker, event organizer: but keep the fucking title of leader to yourself, because I sure in the hell don't want it.