BDSM negotiations

There has been a man in my life for over 9 years whose held a prominent position. One of my oldest and longest lasting kink relationships. Over the years we have travelled down many windy roads together. One of these days I'll post some photos of us together in our younger years. (and tell you the beginning of the story)

Our friendship has seen both joyfully good and negative bad times. We've been fused as one for years in deep friendship unable to make a move without the others approval, adversaries for a few more years that hurt us deeply but where necessary growth & autonomy happened and now we're just friends, equals and mature adults.

Finally over the last while we have each gotten to a place in life where we are looking at one another with a fresh glance and only the future in mind, having grown and become more secure in ourselves.

We're negotiating play together. BDSM and sex. As seperate entities, not combined. I'm not really startled that we're talking about it, just amazed at how long it took us to get to this point of honesty after all these years.

There is a hunger for unity again and more than friendship. A friendship is not enough at this time. We have to go up a level of intimacy. We know this. There is a need to be wrapped up in the other in power and SM.

I want to share who I am with this person who thinks he can contain me then create pain & pleasure in me enough that my masochism and womanhood will be grateful and thankful. He knows of me what he remembers from long ago, a girl before her blossom.

Oh how we have, I have grown since our youthful time spent discovering ourselves side by side. I wonder if he realizes how my masochism and ability to submit has deepened with age. I can summon the place in myself that surrender comes from and this ability to surrender has gone up exponentially having been exploited in play for years.

Should I surrender to him? Should I submit to him? Should we even play together? I thought it would be easy an easy yes or no. We've been toying with the idea for some time, it's been months since we first started kissing, like 8 atleast and it feels good as does he. At first I was worried about how this would impact us as friends and then I realized that I have nothing to loose. Only things to gain. A better understanding of myself, him and perhaps a chance at some play with someone whose been lusting after me for years and needing to let out that pent up sex energy all over me Rrraaa!

On the phone a few minutes ago, I finally asked "when?" When can we have a play date? It appears my eagerness is fondly thought of, though he prefers to take me out on a couple of dates first before he does mean things to me. Lunch mid week to discuss play and what a scene between us will look like, then a couple of dinner dates.

How to be sexy with someone whose been family to me? It's going to be a challenge however I'm confident that we'll just click once we get into scene together. To find my place in play will likely be a challenge, he's going to have to work to aid me in staying in bottom space. His will have to exude his Dominance for me to follow.

He's had me on his mind, thinking about our conversations and flirtations with play. Talking to his partner about me and making sure everyone would be OK with our plans.

He told me he's been fantasizing for years about us being together. This should mean that he'll have a crafty plan with what to do with me.

I must admit I want to switch with him, to do things to him at some point. I have a feeling that I'll end up being able to do this. I believe that I can offer him something big enough that he'll just have to let me Top him. Just once. Though I am not bottoming to him so he will for me. Enough said.

Now I wait and in waiting for our date, I start thinking. Negotiations will be important to me, where we lay out our boundaries together and mutually agree on them.

What am I willing to give him of myself? (at what level do I submit, just as a sensation seeker or as someone looking for a journey and willing to follow, even if it is down a scary and dark path)

What do I want from him in our play? (how do I not want him to interact with me)


What do I need from the scene/play itself? (masochism, spiritual connection, cathartic release, role play, orgasms, etc)

What will be off limits emotionally? (playing with rage, anger, vindictiveness or denial will not be permitted for sure)

physically? sexually? (sorry folks, these are private)

I trust him to do me no harm, but to take me down hard. He'll care for me well in the aftermath, I know him well.

We plan on playing more than once and having a hell of a great time doing it. This post follows a hot & steamy telephone call between him & I.