Yesterday afternoon and into the evening I spent hours with a group of friends hanging out, talking, listening to music and eating delicious home made pizza by our Chef and Host the ever sexy & charming James.
It was a good time for my soul to be surrounded by fellow kinksters. I left feeling rejuvenated, not so much from the food, tasty as it was, rather for the companionship of friends old & new, the chance to share time with them all so intimately.
Cuddled together on the sofa, holding one person while having a conversation with another in a room full of happy people playing catch up on life together over a long weekend. Beer or root beer in everyone's hand, stories that remind us of our own pasts and the past of our sex-positive community flowing freely for us all to hear. History our history, we own it, we're an unashamed bunch.
Perhaps this is why we all "get some" so often, why our personal lives AND sex lives are so rich, the lack of shame. Without shame as a barrier, we are free to ask for anything and to express ourselves openly. We're proud of our diversity, it's what keeps us special and unique in a world that wants us all to be the same.
Without shame in your way, what would you tell or ask of your partner?
Dig deep! The crap we pile on ourselves, the guilt, the years of pressure to conform to a societal norm, get past all of that. Put aside reservations, thinking of your want or need as crude, immoral, dirty, bad, wrong, un Christian, not man enough, to passive or dominant, not feminine enough, break out - find it and say it out loud.
Take a deep breath and let loose those words that just need to be heard.
What do you need sexually?
Share something you've never shared before. Be descriptive with out offering a script. Hand over the frame work for this new fantasy, pleasure or hunger.
It will make incredibly hot pillow talk and you'll feel empowered in your sex to have that nugget sitting out there now in the world of possibilities.
Maybe today, tonight or tomorrow it will become your reality. Own the possibility and share the secret.
Jennifer ... Vancouver's Sex Educator, Sexuality Coach and Activist. The content of this blog is not suited for those under the age of 18. What you'll find here is a written account of my personal journey in sex positive culture both personally and professionally.
