Sexual Resolutions

I have decided to dedicate this year, 2010, to be the year that I complete many resolutions surrounding sex and sexuality. By embarking on this journey I hope to reap many rewards for my efforts.

1. enjoy more multiple orgasms rather than singular ones
2. peg more men just for fun: no strings attached
3. share my fantasies with those who inspire them
4. bring to fruition / act out, that which turns me on
5. make more time for my sexual appetite to be satiated
6. buy new sexy panties & wear them every day
7. wear garter belts & stockings more often
8. if I find someone attractive, tell them
9. when lusting after a person, share it with them while being open to where this could go
10. grow my hair back out
11. bed down with women for mutual pleasure when possible
12. get new silky sheets for our bed and new pillow
13. buy a sexy new robe and nightie
14. have my teeth whitened
15. sit on Jason's lap more often and
16. get our baby out of our bed and into his own
17. loose the rest of my pregnancy weight (8 pounds to go)
18. maintain getting pedicures as I love having pampered feet
19. read more erotica
20. go see female strippers with friends
21. take a strip tease class
22. learn to salsa
23. plan a weekend away with Jason filled with debauchery
24. replace my belly button jewelry with something new & sexy
25. wear cosmetics when out more often
26. take a cosmetics class for an exotic and evening look
    
27. give plenty of orgasms to others, expecting nothing in return

The Pickle

PICC Line & Pump

Last Tuesday morning I had my second MRI in six weeks. The first I had when the baby was one day old and now this most recent one. On both occasions they were looking at my jaw, and specifically the state of my jaw bone.

On September 30th I had my upper and lower wisdom teeth removed on the right side of my face. This was due to them coming in suddenly and causing me some serious angst. And of course, the lower one was impacted badly and had abscessed. This of course was a dental and medical nightmare given that I was six months pregnant.

The dental surgeon I was sent to removed them with rapid speed and we all hoped that would be the end of this poorly timed disaster. Within days, I was diagnosed with Dry Socket, a very painful nerve affliction along the lower jaw as a (somewhat common) complication of an extraction.

Tending to the infection proved difficult for the dental surgeon and it raged in my mouth for weeks. I repeatedly visited the dentist to seek help, yet nothing was done.


The pain became so severe in my head that I ended up in hospital and getting morphine to help me cope with it as doctors set about plotting my recovery. Dentists visits got me no where, it was only the hospital that started to look at me with a serious eye and noticed that the infection was deep. This meant it was no longer a dental issue and now a medical one.

My labor was induced due to many complications, including of course, the dental stress I was experiencing. I had been on twice a day IV therapy for 8 days prior to giving birth and four days after wards to try and kill of the infection in my mouth. This meant driving to the hospital every morning and ever night so they could hook me up to an IV bag of medication to the catheter they had inserted in my arm and left there for convenience.

The whole thing was wearing me down emotionally and physically and still my jaw pain raged on. I gained no weight the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy. I could barely eat. Talking hurt. My jaw was swollen, black goo oozed out of my mouth. My teeth felt like they were electrified and of course, I vomited a lot from the meds, the stress and the infection.

An Infectious Disease doctor was called in to look at my jaw and she was the one who first ordered the MRI that showed Osteomyelitis. This was not good news, but hey, it appeared it was in it's early stage still and they hoped the strong dose of IV antibiotics I was on would knock it out.

Last week the ID doctor ordered the second MRI to check on my jaw and the results were not good, I have degeneration of my jaw bone even further, have Osteomyelitis even worse now and something must be done to stop it's spread into my bones even deeper. Further the MRI showed a piece of wisdom tooth still lurking in the now closed over surgical hole in my lower jaw.

On Monday something radical is being done. I am having a PICC line inserted, it will be in me for quite some time. This procedure is what is ordered when someone needs long term IV therapy and it has to be continuous. Mine is being inserted in a deep vein in my left arm at the elbow, pushed up my arm across my chest, then down to just above my heart.

After the PICC line is in, I can be given constant medication through a pump that I will be wearing for what will be a minimum of six weeks. Bone infections are dangerous, really dangerous, so clearing it up is critical. Mix this in with the fact that I am perinatal and breast feeding and I am a wee bit of a worry for my doctor.

Tuesday the IV home therapy nurse is coming to our house to teach me how to operate the apparatus and to ensure I understand all that I need to. They will also be visiting me a couple times a week to check on my progress. You see, years back someone with my condition would have been hospitalized, luckily these days, I get to remain at home.

Now I await a surgery date to have my wisdom tooth socket reopened, cleaned out and that fragment removed finally. It's been three and half months of torture, and it's now become obvious that we need to sue the dental surgeon who did such a dodgy job to begin with in handling my case.

You might as well know, I am nervous as hell. This whole thing from the PICC line to surgery is mind bogglingly scary. A two foot long catheter shoved through my vein while I am awake is not something I feel positive about, in fact, it terrifies me. Lucky for me, they are given me some sedation to make the process easier to handle.

from my pervy friend Craig

The Honeymoon


A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make. I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what the par is for this damn hole!"

Baby & Me

The necklace around my neck is a very new gift from Jason. He gave it to me about two weeks before Christmas and it came as such a surprise. It is a thank you gift for all I went through to bring our son into the world.

There are two stones on the charm attached to the actual necklace -- and they are the birthstones of both of our children.

The thoughtfulness behind the present is overwhelming and as usual, I continue to feel blessed to be loved by such a wonderful man.

It is still so hard to believe that we are now a family of four.

Cock Handling

This job posting was found on Craigs List tonight and was so enticing looking that I thought I would share it here as perhaps someone is in need of work.

Cock handler (Richmond)

Poultry processing plant needs 1 cock handler. Must have experience handling a wide variety of cocks big and small. This is a labour intensive job as you will be on your knees alot and you must have manual dexterity. This is a piece work job if you can handle 50 cocks a day in an 8 hour period you will make good money.

Location: Richmond

Compensation: piece work

This is a contract job.

Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.

Please, no phone calls about this job!

Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1532170679

First Time Having Sex

Christmas afternoon there was sex happening at our house. This likely doesn't come as a surprise to you. It was our "first time" too. The first time we've had sex since the baby has been born and of course, we coined this opportunity as being a "test fuck".

Unsure how it would go, if it would hurt, make me bleed or cause anguishing cramps, we had our romp. So a Test Fuck, with no expectations.

I fed the baby till he was asleep. Jason showered and shaved his boy bits, then set up our lair.

As I entered our bedroom I was met with candles burning on all the flat surfaces. Incense lit and it's warm aroma in the air. The heat turned up to toasty. Sheets pulled back and on the bed, Kama Sutra Honey Dust, chocolate body paint, and lubricant on the bedside table.

From my arms I laid the baby in his bed next to ours and carefully covered him to keep warm. Gently I rubbed his belly to ensure he would not wake up prematurely and interrupt our adult time.

I removed my robe and panties in front of my man as his eyes drank in the sight of me. He told me how beautiful I was, and my mind whirled. Sex with this gorgeous man was about to happen. Excited and aroused he had made me.

I laid out naked on the bed as per his command and a delicate brush swiped over my body putting edible honey dust over me which he licked and nibbled off with greed, yet tenderness.

We kissed, touched and played with each other. The foreplay was sweet and necessary, at least for me. Aroused as I was, I was still nervous.

By the time our bodies melted into each others and we started moving as one, we were both giddily happily. I was safely mounted on top of Jason's manliness and not one stroke caused me any pain. (though some trepidation the first few minutes)

After the orgasms were over we lay spooned together. Breathless. Elated. Reconnected as a couple.

The most amazing reality of our afternoon frolic was that the Pickle cooperated enough to thankfully sleep through our "afternoon delight".

Bare Breasts

Minutes after our son was born last month he was laid upon my bare chest. The hospital calls this time, Mother and Baby Skin-to-Skin For The First Hour. It is mandatory and it helps with the bonding process between mothers and their newborns.

Pickle was not upon my body more than a minute before he started crying enough for me to offer him my breast.

I looked up at Jason and said "take out my ring". And as quickly as I said those words, I was met with ... "really, are you sure? Don't you want to try with it in?"

Smiling and rather confident I came back with "No. Take it out". Then in one fast motion my right ring was removed from my nipple and thereby was the end of the life of that piece of jewelery.

There was no hesitation, nor regret. Rather an overwhelming feeling of doing the right thing, which brought with it immense satisfaction as I looked down to see our son making his first attempts at nursing.

My nipple slid into his mouth and I was met with the comforting sound of quiet as he found his way to his source of nourishment and love.

It was but a short while later that I had Jason remove the left piercing as well. I had wanted to keep them both in and try to breast feed our little man with them in, yet when it came down to it and he was in my arms, all I wanted to do was feed him, with no barriers in the way.

A few days ago now I handed Jason my jewelry and asked him to try inserting them both back in. He tried and with no luck. We will try again in a few days this time with some lubricant and perhaps a brighter light.

Should the holes close over and I not be able to have the rings put back in, I won't be getting pierced again. My nipple rings were done many years ago, in the beginning of my sexual journey, back when my being a sexual outlaw was still in it's infancy and I was someones slave. I have grown so much since those days, and enough so that my kinkiness is no-longer defined by how many body adornments I have, nor by being a bottom only.

I will say though, that another reason I won't be pierced again in the nipples, is that as I remember it, it just hurt to damn much.

Susie Bright

“Look at her. All over. Linger anywhere you like. When she notices (and she will if you’re really looking), hold her eyes with yours. Hold them close. This is the essence of cruising, the experience that all the virtual reality and phone sex in the world will never replace. It is also the moment of truth. You’ll know then and there whether she wants you or not.”

Susie Bright (B. 1958) American writer, editor

Adorable

Two highlights of my day. First, the Pickle went to Home Depot without me, Jason wore him in a Snuggly.

Secondly I managed to take a few fairly decent photos of the little man in a festive setting.



As of this evening I have started to catch up on over due phone calls. The list is long, but hey, I can talk while seated with a child in my arms, nursing at my breast.

Weekend Antics

Some general updates just so you don't think I've neglected writing or my commitment to my blog.

This weekend was rather peaceful, all things considered. The whole family being home bound and all was rather nice.

Friday we went to Richmond and bought the baby a second stroller. A smaller one for quick jaunts and that fits easily into the back of the Jeep. It is fantastic and we had some color choices so we ended up with a great apple green one. Thanks David and M for the awesome gift card, it went to something perfect and we are really grateful for your kindness. The store was amazing too. It took everything out of me to make the trek to the mall and I promptly fell asleep in the vehicle on the way home.

Also Friday afternoon the hospital called and I return on the 29th for yet another IV and another MRI. Hopefully at the end of this appointment the Infectious Disease doctor will have a plan of attack for how to deal with my infection in my jaw. We know already what they think they will end up doing yet are hopeful a secondary and less intrusive plan of fixing everything can be found.

Saturday was all about napping. I napped and Jason took care of the Pickle. This was greatly needed, the nap that is. I was starting to feel like a zombie. Then I had a nice hot bath which made me feel almost human again. Finally we spent the latter part of the evening wrapping Christmas presents and hanging out with the teenager, then we were in bed by ten PM.

Today has been a wee bit rushed, but well worth it. We spent the entire afternoon over at a friends home where they made us lunch and we hung out talking for hours. Kinky friends are the best, specifically because there is no need to hide any facet of ones self. We spent four hours catching up, the time just flew on by and having people cook us a meal was extra nice for a change.

By the time we got home in the pouring rain, it was all we could do to get into our robes and set ourselves in front of the TV. I made us a fast dinner and then with the teenager joining us we watched Inglorious Bastards, what an incredible movie. Not one I would have chosen to watch on my own, but yet after seeing it, so glad that I did. Magnificent.

So yeah, our weekend contained enough activity to leave us as new parents exhausted. The Pickle is sweet, lively and definitely no where near ready to being on a schedule of any sort. I am attempting to get myself back on some sort of routine, yet am finding it difficult.

It is hard to believe the babe is 3 weeks old today.

The Balancing Act

I am making a valiant effort to accomplish both business items and personal tasks over the next few days. It can be said that I am a wee bit behind on my responsibilities, despite my best efforts to remain on the ball.

Over the next 24 hours, I plan on completing a To-Do list that has about fifty items on it. In between napping and breastfeeding that is.

It is proving to be a challenge to get back to my over achiever routine.  Though it can be done, and it will be done.

Handsome Pickle

Here is a snapshot taken in Photo Booth on my Mac earlier this evening.

Some time in the not so distant future, I will stop posting photos of the Pickle here on my blog, for his privacy and for ours.  In the mean time, enjoy the baby pictures.

More of Me

I have not found the drive to resume regular blogging.

If interested in what's going on in my life, you can follow my Twitter account for mini multiple updates each day.

My Twitter account can be seen by looking down the right hand side column on my blog home page for the large blue box.

Or by going to my Twitter account directly.

Privacy

I have been meaning to Blog for a number of days now, yet I continue to lack the follow through necessary to publish anything.

It is not that I am short on content, time to write or even the desire, it is more that I feel as though any point at which I start writing again, will be not right.

I could write about our birth experience, being sick in hospital, family coming to stay over and visit, friends coming out of the woodwork, the holiday season, being a new mother again, setting up Libido Lounge for the second time, creating new events for our new space, or simply how life has changed. Yet none of these topics has made me want to write and share.

There are though a few points that I would like to clear up.

When I blog or Twitter and you read what I have written, know that I deliberately chose what to tell you and what to leave out. If I wanted more information on the net, I would put it here. Otherwise be aware that the details I give you, are all that I want to. Don't ask for more, that would be rude and handing out more information goes against my better judgement.

When I blog or Twitter it is because I so choose, not because I feel compelled to do so. I don't write for noteriety, fame or approval, I do it to record my own experiences for myself, and to give a little of my life to those who are interested.

When I blog or Twitter, I am not writing to you personally. No matter who you are. Unless I preface a post with your name, my musings are general and not specific to you.

If you learn something about me from my writings, consider very carefully whether or not, you should ever be commenting on it. In person or by writing me. Particularly men, most things of a personal nature are there for you to ponder but NOT to comment or act upon.

I have no inner circle, so attempting to gain access to my life by following everything I do, attend, write about and post makes you look like a stalker and not like a friend. No matter how you may try to convince me otherwise.

Do not show up in my life unannounced, do not write me personal emails involving me in your life, do not ask to know details about my family. I give up information to those I befriend, not to those who demand intimate details on my personal life.

I am a very private person. It may not seem as such to you due to what I do for a career, or what you read about me, but when I am not at work, I am joyfully locked away at home. I let few people in close, and I enjoy it this way. I've spent to long in my life being surrounded by tons of people and attention, my preference is for the quieter moments of home and family.

Don't read any of this the wrong way.  I want to hear from you, from people.  I just wish that certain people would consider how they appear to me as they try to find a way into my world.  I am flattered that people care for me, that they read my words and follow my work and journey.  It's friends and supporters like you that make my life so blessed, so please, if you write me respectfully and personally about things I have written, please continue to do so.  If you do not receive a comment back, consider that you may have crossed a line.

Diagnostic Tools

My fast tracked MRI has been scheduled for today to diagnose and isolate my jaw and tooth infection.   (remnants of the torturous wisdom tooth extraction 7 weeks ago) Today is day 8 of twice a day IV therapy for this disaster. 

The combination of labor & delivery coupled with this crippling pain in my head is enough to have me feeling like shit and as though the suffering will never end.

Jason hasn't left the hospital since we arrived Saturday.  We have a private room with a cot in it, which means Jason has even been sleeping over, in fact, he's been sleeping with the baby.  Baby is doing awesome and eating well. 

Due to the contrast dye given to me for the MRI, I have to pump out all my milk for 24 hours and throw it away.  This means that we're feeding the baby with an eye dropper, and giving him milk that I pumped for him before the dye was administered.

Proud Parents

After a ridiculously intense final 6 weeks of pregnancy, and horrible labor "The Pickle" was born at 5:51 AM Sunday November 29th.  

He weighed in at 8 pounds and 6 ounces and emerged after a thankfully short period of pushing. Our daughter and Jason were both there holding my legs and being supportive, it was quite the moment of exhilaration, love and effort.

The Pickle entered the world quietly, without any noise or crying and it caused some alarm. Suffice to say, his lungs eventually cleared and all was well.  

Agony

Our labor room, was really rather nice, all things considered.  Potted plants, huge tub, large oak mirror, comfy chairs, private large bathroom .... quiet, all the bells and whistles of comfort.

I labored in this tub for quite some time, pretty much until the nurse told me she needed me to get in the bed for a check.   Then once on the bed, I was without the strength necessary to return to the tub.  Things were really intense at this point. Though, they got much much worse as time progressed.  

"Induction Day"

This photo was taken on my walk around the hospital after they had broken my water,  given me some drugs to ripen my cervix and bring on the contractions.

Childbirth & Medical Disasters

To bring you all up to speed.

This week I have been a day patient at our local hospital, twice daily admitting myself day and night for IV therapy. 8 AM and 8 PM.

I was in ER, with a horrible infection that appears to be in my jaw bone, and is from having my wisdom teeth removed last month .. the pain, swelling and nausea are overwhelming.

The answer to this medical crisis when one is as pregnant as I am (38 weeks) is twice daily IV therapy of antibiotics, administered through a catheter left in my arm so they do not need to be endlessly poking me. And to offer some comfort, Morphine and Demerol as pain killers - though these have side effects that are harsh and unavoidable.

A couple of days ago the main water line to our new house burst. Just throwing this out there so you can see how timing has conspired against us as of late.

This morning we saw our Obstetrician, and tomorrow morning at 9 AM I am being induced. This means we should have our son by some point later in the afternoon or early evening.

I'll be in hospital for a few days, both recovering from childbirth, but also remaining on IV therapy.

Then on Monday I am booked (in hospital) to see an Infectious Disease Doctor/Expert after I have an MRI of my head to determine the depth of the infection to my jaw and head.

This evening I return to the hospital again for IV therapy and the rest of my day today is being spent puking, trying not to stress out to much and of course doing all the little loose ends around our home that need tending to. Oh and if I can, getting in some napping time.

It's been a wild ride these past 9 months, though these past 4 months have been more difficult than even imaginable.

I have tried my best to accomplish everything within my power and this has caused me more stress than necessary.

If by chance we need to touch base for some reason, know that it likely won't be happening over the next while.

One email being sent to my email account is all that is necessary to capture my attention.

jennifer@libidoevents.com

I'll respond as soon as I can.

While laboring tomorrow, you can keep up with our progress on Twitter.

That's it for now, it is tub time for me now.