and life continues on

Wow time flies, it seems I have been negligent in posting for three whole months. Tsk tsk, this was not intentional on my behalf. It happened more due to my being caught up in life, you know how that goes I am sure.

So let's bring you up to speed on where life has taken me, I'll keep it brief and just hit the high points. Then as I start to blog again more often, you'll have some frame of reference for things.

Currently I have a head and chest cold and Jason is over due for his post vasectomy cum in a cup appointment.

Last month I turned 39 years old and celebrated with a trip to Las Vegas. While in Vegas, Jason and I finally were married, it was all previously planned and we even did it live on the internet. The ceremony was progressive and exactly what we wanted it to be for us. Want to watch it, write me and I'll send you the link.

The end of this month Pickle will be two, its rather remarkable how fast he is growing up. My daughter will be eighteen soon and the difference between raising them both is just night and day.

The Lounge turned four this month already, it's kinda crazy. Over 2000 members at this point, this next year is a time of great change for my professionally.

My relationships continue strong and steady. Allena's cancer has been kicked and she made the decision to forgo augmentation and during it all she met someone super special to her. Amy remains a spit fire and so not one to fit into a label and the rest of the tribe are quite seriously more of a handful than I am.

Ben makes me laugh and reminds me to give myself a break now and again, I admire his outlook on life. Marilyn is the friend I wish I had twenty years ago, she has wisdom that I cherish. Sheryl shows me that one woman is capable of so much on her own. Victoria's struggles are an obvious reminder to me to take the time to listen to others, she is a source of strength. Judy is proof that regardless of age, love and a reshaping of ones life is always possible. Lisa has shown me a steady relationship of friendship based on respect. Clive hears me and always has the time, his family values are admirable and his advice is sound.

My health has been on a slow climb out of the depths of hell thankfully, but not without much suffering, piles of money spent on drugs and a lot of medical professionals helping me. To be fair, Jason carried me through the worst of it, and when he was unable to do it any longer, the hospital was there for me to be admitted to.

We did a complete remodel on the outside of our home as well and the renovation process was enough to make me feel like running away. But it's done now and damn, does it ever look fantastic. Both Jason and the companies we hired did a way better job than I ever could have hope for.

My Taboo Sex Show touring schedule for 2011 - 2012 started last week with a four day teaching gig in Calgary. Later this week, I head off to Edmonton to do it all over again, then no more shows till January with Taboo.

It has been a time of great introspection for me these past few months, I feel as though I am coming out of a fog. The rat race had kept me busy for so long, that slowing long enough to check in with me and take care of my family and priorities was just suddenly a must do item for me.

No Mistle Toe Here

One of the two big Christmas parties that Jason's work hosts is happening as I type this. We had planned on attending and were quite excited about it. Sadly, we are not at the shin dig. We are at home. Being parents. Unable to locate a sitter we are staying in this evening.

For Jason there will be scotch, and for us both, there will be orgasms. We may have missed the holiday party but we can always create a sex party in our own bedroom to make up for it.

Proud Mama

Pickle is just over four months right now, by one week.

He can roll over from front to back and back to front.

He's eating banana, prunes and rice cereal.

The little man loves people, is incredibly social and smiling all the time too.

And without fail he sleeps 12 - 13 hours straight every single night in his own crib.

Working Mommy

Today was day one of the Taboo Show for me. I taught my scheduled three classes and they were jam packed with people. Not a seat left, no floor space either as people filled that up and still more lined the walls standing. It went really well for me, so good in fact that the show owner came to me at the end of the day to tell me that they would be making (my already huge) workshop room even larger for tomorrow. Plus my corporate sponsor O'Behave sold out on the first day of a huge number of the products I highlighted.

After my classes I easily talked with and answered questions to upwards of 90 people. Exhausted as I left the Tradex, and happy with myself for a job well done.

Came home to Grandma asleep on the sofa with Pickle laying on her. It was 10:40, hours past his bedtime and he appears to be really off his schedule. I was fearful this would happen as I am working three 12 hour days and have Jason with me too, so the little guy is surely not going to be giving us the 12 hour sleeps we've become accustomed to. He took one look me when we arrived in and his whole face just beamed with joy. I almost cried seeing that look of adoration.

I have to go to bed now as tomorrow is without doubt going to be more intense and tiring than today even.

If you came out to the show and took in a class with me, it was great to have you there. And that includes you B & G - and thanks for for getting The Lounge that projector screen, you rock!

Bare Breasts

Minutes after our son was born last month he was laid upon my bare chest. The hospital calls this time, Mother and Baby Skin-to-Skin For The First Hour. It is mandatory and it helps with the bonding process between mothers and their newborns.

Pickle was not upon my body more than a minute before he started crying enough for me to offer him my breast.

I looked up at Jason and said "take out my ring". And as quickly as I said those words, I was met with ... "really, are you sure? Don't you want to try with it in?"

Smiling and rather confident I came back with "No. Take it out". Then in one fast motion my right ring was removed from my nipple and thereby was the end of the life of that piece of jewelery.

There was no hesitation, nor regret. Rather an overwhelming feeling of doing the right thing, which brought with it immense satisfaction as I looked down to see our son making his first attempts at nursing.

My nipple slid into his mouth and I was met with the comforting sound of quiet as he found his way to his source of nourishment and love.

It was but a short while later that I had Jason remove the left piercing as well. I had wanted to keep them both in and try to breast feed our little man with them in, yet when it came down to it and he was in my arms, all I wanted to do was feed him, with no barriers in the way.

A few days ago now I handed Jason my jewelry and asked him to try inserting them both back in. He tried and with no luck. We will try again in a few days this time with some lubricant and perhaps a brighter light.

Should the holes close over and I not be able to have the rings put back in, I won't be getting pierced again. My nipple rings were done many years ago, in the beginning of my sexual journey, back when my being a sexual outlaw was still in it's infancy and I was someones slave. I have grown so much since those days, and enough so that my kinkiness is no-longer defined by how many body adornments I have, nor by being a bottom only.

I will say though, that another reason I won't be pierced again in the nipples, is that as I remember it, it just hurt to damn much.

Water, Sun & Family

We spent a family day out exhausting ourselves, eating a picnic and tanning our bodies.

Baby Planning

The weather has changed, it's cooler out now than I'd like and the sun is hiding away again. I prefer the warmer temperatures as I seem to be happier without gray skies and rain on my head. Alas, Fall is here and I need to adapt to this new season, again.

The change in the temperature and on the page on my calendar, making it now October always serves as a reminder that I am getting older. You see, my birthday is at the end of this month, right before Halloween.

I like birthdays I really do, but this one has got my knickers tied in a knot. I will be thirty six years old, in a mere few weeks. Not flamingly old, but older none the less. After turning thirty five last year, I've been noticing more and more articles in the paper, and health care professionals on tv discussing mothers over the age of 35, as OLDER.

You see, we're very close to having a baby. The appointments have been made, the tests all run and things are working well in my body. It is time. But let me reiterate, the media keeps saying to me, that women are waiting "till they are OLDER" to have babies now a days.

I had my daughter at the start of my twenties, some time ago now. So much so, that I can honestly say that I have forgotten the horrific labor that raged through my body for 27 hours before the birth of my incredible baby girl.

So ok, I am older now and getting very close to do it "ALL OVER AGAIN". Am I old? I think not. I feel like I'm settling in nicely to adult hood, right-about-now. But to call me older, or old makes me think of some dried up curmudgeon giving birth and this is so not me.

I'm fit, healthy, lively, fun, loving, responsible, successful, loved, in a wonderful relationship and finally ready to be a mom to another child, again.

My daughter is ready to be a big sister and RC is ready to be a father for the first time in his life. Our family is about to grow. And so is my belly.

Change is good and welcome around our household. I don't have any fear this time round as we're all having this child together, our whole family.

My daughter was born with natural child birth, a mid wife and a birthing room. This baby is going to come from me, as I smile instead of scream. Nothing natural needed this time round, I'm older and smarter and know my limits. Give me drugs and let me enjoy the process of being old enough and wise enough to make such a profound decision to have this second child with the aides of modern medicine.

My age is certainly relevant to my decision for drugs this time round!

Friends & Ignorant People

I had a wonderful sleep in this morning, till 10. Then I saw clients in the office just after noon. Wonderful women, and I was able to easily give what they needed. Came home and had a mid day nap, which was needed as my body has still not fully recovered from this latest bout of illness that has been plaguing me.

Squeezed in a short bit of time with my daughter after school and had a chance to catch up with her and her interesting teen-world.

I found this phone number on the evening news ... 1 866 580 3625 It is the DO NOT CALL REGISTRY for those of us who no longer wish to be contacted by telemarketers. I've tried a few times to get through and get registered, however since the program just launched today, the number has been busy, non stop. Get yourself registered if you are like me and sick and tired of being hounded by fruitcakes trying to sell me things I never asked for.

Then back to the Lounge again for a working event where a number of writer volunteers met me to assist with the rewrites of all of my class write ups. We're getting this all done in time for the new websites launch. Six different individuals working fervently towards a similar goal had the work done in just three hours. My friends ROCK - thank you to each of you who helped out.

RC came by The Lounge after his work day, and assembled our brand new tripod swing. Oh My Goddesses, wait till you climb in and feel for yourself what a ride it is! We have amassed an incredible collection of BDSM equipment, sex machines, and sex equipment too.

Now we are all home together and it is soon nights end. RC is eating in the dining room, my daughter and i are in the living room side-by-side on computers and we are all tired. My In Box is just about caught up and next I'm going to spend a short while before bed, loading events into the new calendar.

You know your good, when others mimic you. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, BUT it also just shows how dense some people are that they can't even create anything new themselves, by idea or even by topic. I appreciate everyone sharing how much they find laughable these copy cats and how mocking their attempts is now a community joke.

The Man In My Life

I am in love with the man I live with. Head over heels in love. I mean like, my heart beats madly for him. I can barely keep my hands off of him and my thoughts are of him when we are apart.

My guy is super great, he is hard working, fun loving, generous, kind, uber smart, successful, fair, level headed and of strong character. Did I mention that he is hot, handsome and buff... like nicely cut. He works out with a vengeance.

When RC comes home from his work day, he takes off his shoes, drops his bag, and always makes his way straight-to-ME. Then I get wrapped up in his arms for some cuddle time, this even after we've spoken on the phone multiple times a day. And if you know me at all, you know I am not a phone talker, I dislike the phone, but I do want to hear from my sweetie while he is out of the house for so many hours a day. We spend our days off together and he often accompanies me to my work and classes.

We almost always go to bed at the same time, and then curl up alongside one another. Actually, I start off my sleep almost half on top of him, as his arms hold me tight and I hang on to his manliness. Even once we've fallen asleep and become detached, we still are in constant contact with one another, in some way.

I have angst and a pretty decent amount of it. There are no prescription drugs or booze to manage this, I have my rock and he keeps me level and calm, when I'm unable to do this for myself. Even when I am over come with stress, RC can keep me from becoming unglued. His calming presence and ability to move with my moods is an amazing quality. If for nothing else, he deserves a medal for this.

Our sex is passionate and lively. No one leads, we are equals in the bedroom and in our lives together. He is such a giving lover, even before attending every one of my sex classes. He can find my erotic buttons on any given day and push them, just-right. He gives me pleasure that is enough to satiate my hungers for sexual attention. Ok, he should get a Gold medal for this too.

RC cleans a good house, does dishes, tidies up after himself and our family and makes fantastic meals. Oh yes, can he ever cook well. He does laundry and grocery shops too. He drives me around, when I'm not busy driving myself to and from all of my pursuits. He can sing, and speak a number of different languages with ease. He has a university degree, went to private school and has a kick ass family that loves him and us. He can sew just about anything, and is computer literate, he has an awesome memory and is constantly challenging himself.

He treats me like a queen, and also with such respect. I'm always made to feel important, smart and safe. He buys me news shoes, listens to my ramblings about sex and work, gives me incredible massages, runs my baths with candles, incense and music, opens doors for me and flirts with me constantly. His boyish charms have me wrapped around his little finger.

The man I love, loves my teenage daughter. He cares for her greatly and does more for her than her own father. He guides her and is on her side as often as she is right. He teaches her all that he knows and took to her from the moment they first met. Hell she took to him from the get go to. It is like we've always been together the three of us. Sometimes the two of them are on their own side and I'm left on my own. They support one another, and when necessary confront me on things that need changed or challenged. They do this with such love. Together they have never had an argument or even a disagreement. We've gone on holidays together and have future plans as a family.

RC is my rock. He is solid. He is a good man. RC is the man all parents want their daughters to be with. He is mine. Though I share well, hence polyamory. RC has given me peace of mind and life. RC has shown me love in a way that I had not expected. Our love came as a surprise, I thought he'd run when the reality of my worlds came to him. But no, he embraced all that I am and all that I do. He loves me so so so so so much. More than I can tell you.

My guy loves animals, hence the two birds and a cat we have. He has a green thumb and can somehow keep plants alive and thriving where I would have killed them. He can fix a car, and he can save a life. He can draw, and can be found with a sketch book in his bag. He smokes cigars now and again but hey, I can't fault him for this.

We have plans. Many of you know already, its not a shocker I'm sure, but we're going places. Together we own Libido Lounge. We have plans on a baby soon. And while I'm busy working towards my Masters Degree, he is holding me up and supporting my drive to succeed.

Life has been good to each of us, and even more so since we became a couple and family. I love RC and everyone who knows us knows why. He is such a good man.

teenage mood swings

Being the parent of a teen aged daughter is a constant reminder of how little power I hold over another. Specifically her.

She is a wonderful child.

She is a good girl and has excellent behavior.

Yet for me, she challenges me beyond belief. (sporadically and not really on anything big, just on enough little things to make me scream)

Of all my worries in life and regarding my daughter, I have never been concerned about her where abouts, or how tight we are.

To me this speaks volumes to how well she has been raised, and how far I have come since my parents pushed me out of their crumbling nest.

My daughter though a teenager, is fast becoming a young woman, and her growing up, has really been virtually painless on us both. Well at least in comparison to my own rocky start as a young person.

I guess I salute her moodiness, and celebrate the fact that we are sharing it together.

sex activism Vancouver

City Hall is really really making things a challenge right now. And no, I am not talking about Surrey either. It's another City that is grating me the wrong way right now. It's a zoning issue, it's a parking issue, it's the egress, it's the electrical, it's the [insert issue] here type of continuous scenario. Anyways this was the entirety of my morning and left me in a not so happy mood.

Off to get my toes painted again at the mall. It really is an indulgence. They look super pretty which makes me happy. And after my morning, this was an excellent choice of a pick me up.

Then off to pick up T. from her Orthodontics appointment and her exciting day at a Leadership conference up near Metrotown. We hung out together for the next few hours tackling life's necessities. Once home, I packed for my evening class and jumped into the shower to to refresh myself for the night ahead. It was a day certainly running on a close clock.

Class was a blast. I was in my own neighborhood, teaching a basic sex education class to all these new-to-me women. They were in age from 26 - 35 I believe. Two were married, a couple were mothers, the rest were not. A wonderful giggly group of women. Everyone wanted to learn general sex info and also they shared a theme of wanting to get more knowledge on achieving orgasm faster and more intensely. We just blew through two and half hours of information so fast, that I ended up staying late as the women were just starting to warm up, as I was packing up.

This class, unlike so many others I teach, was truly a very basic and general sex education class. One that the contents of, belong in a Grade 10 mandatory sex class to all pupils, both boys and girls. Every adult woman, should know and be able to identify her own genitalia by naming each piece with her own fingertips. Sadly so many adult women do not even know the correct words to identify their vulva's with, let alone to pass on the proper language to their own children. It is a tad bit disheartening to me as a mother to hear another mother say, that at 3 her daughter is too old to be seeing her father naked because she might ask questions about his boy parts. I am fairly sure she was talking about "the penis" so I did not ask for clarification. I find it equally heart wrenching that for many women their sole orgasmic experience with their vulva is that which their own partner gives them, and that is if they are even that fortunate.

I've been empowered surrounding my sexuality for a long time now, and in control of my own pleasure. For this has been one of the greatest gifts of my adult hood. Blissful orgasmic ecstatic pleasure at my own hand. Not at the hand of a lover, no other person involved. My being able to make love to me. With a toy, or my own hand. I have it in me, to do this for myself. Not by fluke. Not by accident. But because I took responsibility for it, for my own bliss. There came a time when I couldn't rely on another, when I needed to know how. There came a time when it was important enough for me to really get to know myself.

I spread my legs before a mirror many moons ago now, years in fact, and started learning the correct words for my girl bits. With this knowledge I gained strength. I passed this strength on to T, she won't be one of those women spreading her legs for some partner in her adult hood and being reliant on them for her both a glimpse of what she may look like down there as well as her pleasure. No, she like me, will claim her own! This is a legacy that is so important for me to bestow upon her.

I wish all parents would give their children the gift of sexual knowledge, it's power. Teach your children what's between their legs, teach them the difference between the sexes and celebrate this information together. Living in shame of one's genitals, or even showing them at home or asking questions about them, that is just a breeding ground for ignorance, further shame, exploitation potential and a growth stunt in sexual development.

And society wonders why young people [hell, adults in general] make mistakes when left alone with own another, their own idle curiosities about sex and their bodies. Everyone wants to feel good and most people don't even know how to go about it. Or if they do know how to give themselves pleasure, they are so limited in what works for them by preference, or worse, what is morally acceptable to them that the options are sparse. The people I meet in classes are starved for information, so much so that they don't even realize that to answer their questions, you have to explain to them first the unique names of each of there genital complexes and other concepts that are foreign to them as well.

This is my job, sex-positive activism.