PICC Line & Pump

Last Tuesday morning I had my second MRI in six weeks. The first I had when the baby was one day old and now this most recent one. On both occasions they were looking at my jaw, and specifically the state of my jaw bone.

On September 30th I had my upper and lower wisdom teeth removed on the right side of my face. This was due to them coming in suddenly and causing me some serious angst. And of course, the lower one was impacted badly and had abscessed. This of course was a dental and medical nightmare given that I was six months pregnant.

The dental surgeon I was sent to removed them with rapid speed and we all hoped that would be the end of this poorly timed disaster. Within days, I was diagnosed with Dry Socket, a very painful nerve affliction along the lower jaw as a (somewhat common) complication of an extraction.

Tending to the infection proved difficult for the dental surgeon and it raged in my mouth for weeks. I repeatedly visited the dentist to seek help, yet nothing was done.


The pain became so severe in my head that I ended up in hospital and getting morphine to help me cope with it as doctors set about plotting my recovery. Dentists visits got me no where, it was only the hospital that started to look at me with a serious eye and noticed that the infection was deep. This meant it was no longer a dental issue and now a medical one.

My labor was induced due to many complications, including of course, the dental stress I was experiencing. I had been on twice a day IV therapy for 8 days prior to giving birth and four days after wards to try and kill of the infection in my mouth. This meant driving to the hospital every morning and ever night so they could hook me up to an IV bag of medication to the catheter they had inserted in my arm and left there for convenience.

The whole thing was wearing me down emotionally and physically and still my jaw pain raged on. I gained no weight the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy. I could barely eat. Talking hurt. My jaw was swollen, black goo oozed out of my mouth. My teeth felt like they were electrified and of course, I vomited a lot from the meds, the stress and the infection.

An Infectious Disease doctor was called in to look at my jaw and she was the one who first ordered the MRI that showed Osteomyelitis. This was not good news, but hey, it appeared it was in it's early stage still and they hoped the strong dose of IV antibiotics I was on would knock it out.

Last week the ID doctor ordered the second MRI to check on my jaw and the results were not good, I have degeneration of my jaw bone even further, have Osteomyelitis even worse now and something must be done to stop it's spread into my bones even deeper. Further the MRI showed a piece of wisdom tooth still lurking in the now closed over surgical hole in my lower jaw.

On Monday something radical is being done. I am having a PICC line inserted, it will be in me for quite some time. This procedure is what is ordered when someone needs long term IV therapy and it has to be continuous. Mine is being inserted in a deep vein in my left arm at the elbow, pushed up my arm across my chest, then down to just above my heart.

After the PICC line is in, I can be given constant medication through a pump that I will be wearing for what will be a minimum of six weeks. Bone infections are dangerous, really dangerous, so clearing it up is critical. Mix this in with the fact that I am perinatal and breast feeding and I am a wee bit of a worry for my doctor.

Tuesday the IV home therapy nurse is coming to our house to teach me how to operate the apparatus and to ensure I understand all that I need to. They will also be visiting me a couple times a week to check on my progress. You see, years back someone with my condition would have been hospitalized, luckily these days, I get to remain at home.

Now I await a surgery date to have my wisdom tooth socket reopened, cleaned out and that fragment removed finally. It's been three and half months of torture, and it's now become obvious that we need to sue the dental surgeon who did such a dodgy job to begin with in handling my case.

You might as well know, I am nervous as hell. This whole thing from the PICC line to surgery is mind bogglingly scary. A two foot long catheter shoved through my vein while I am awake is not something I feel positive about, in fact, it terrifies me. Lucky for me, they are given me some sedation to make the process easier to handle.

Handsome Pickle

Here is a snapshot taken in Photo Booth on my Mac earlier this evening.

Some time in the not so distant future, I will stop posting photos of the Pickle here on my blog, for his privacy and for ours.  In the mean time, enjoy the baby pictures.

Diagnostic Tools

My fast tracked MRI has been scheduled for today to diagnose and isolate my jaw and tooth infection.   (remnants of the torturous wisdom tooth extraction 7 weeks ago) Today is day 8 of twice a day IV therapy for this disaster. 

The combination of labor & delivery coupled with this crippling pain in my head is enough to have me feeling like shit and as though the suffering will never end.

Jason hasn't left the hospital since we arrived Saturday.  We have a private room with a cot in it, which means Jason has even been sleeping over, in fact, he's been sleeping with the baby.  Baby is doing awesome and eating well. 

Due to the contrast dye given to me for the MRI, I have to pump out all my milk for 24 hours and throw it away.  This means that we're feeding the baby with an eye dropper, and giving him milk that I pumped for him before the dye was administered.

Proud Parents

After a ridiculously intense final 6 weeks of pregnancy, and horrible labor "The Pickle" was born at 5:51 AM Sunday November 29th.  

He weighed in at 8 pounds and 6 ounces and emerged after a thankfully short period of pushing. Our daughter and Jason were both there holding my legs and being supportive, it was quite the moment of exhilaration, love and effort.

The Pickle entered the world quietly, without any noise or crying and it caused some alarm. Suffice to say, his lungs eventually cleared and all was well.  

Agony

Our labor room, was really rather nice, all things considered.  Potted plants, huge tub, large oak mirror, comfy chairs, private large bathroom .... quiet, all the bells and whistles of comfort.

I labored in this tub for quite some time, pretty much until the nurse told me she needed me to get in the bed for a check.   Then once on the bed, I was without the strength necessary to return to the tub.  Things were really intense at this point. Though, they got much much worse as time progressed.  

"Induction Day"

This photo was taken on my walk around the hospital after they had broken my water,  given me some drugs to ripen my cervix and bring on the contractions.

Childbirth & Medical Disasters

To bring you all up to speed.

This week I have been a day patient at our local hospital, twice daily admitting myself day and night for IV therapy. 8 AM and 8 PM.

I was in ER, with a horrible infection that appears to be in my jaw bone, and is from having my wisdom teeth removed last month .. the pain, swelling and nausea are overwhelming.

The answer to this medical crisis when one is as pregnant as I am (38 weeks) is twice daily IV therapy of antibiotics, administered through a catheter left in my arm so they do not need to be endlessly poking me. And to offer some comfort, Morphine and Demerol as pain killers - though these have side effects that are harsh and unavoidable.

A couple of days ago the main water line to our new house burst. Just throwing this out there so you can see how timing has conspired against us as of late.

This morning we saw our Obstetrician, and tomorrow morning at 9 AM I am being induced. This means we should have our son by some point later in the afternoon or early evening.

I'll be in hospital for a few days, both recovering from childbirth, but also remaining on IV therapy.

Then on Monday I am booked (in hospital) to see an Infectious Disease Doctor/Expert after I have an MRI of my head to determine the depth of the infection to my jaw and head.

This evening I return to the hospital again for IV therapy and the rest of my day today is being spent puking, trying not to stress out to much and of course doing all the little loose ends around our home that need tending to. Oh and if I can, getting in some napping time.

It's been a wild ride these past 9 months, though these past 4 months have been more difficult than even imaginable.

I have tried my best to accomplish everything within my power and this has caused me more stress than necessary.

If by chance we need to touch base for some reason, know that it likely won't be happening over the next while.

One email being sent to my email account is all that is necessary to capture my attention.

jennifer@libidoevents.com

I'll respond as soon as I can.

While laboring tomorrow, you can keep up with our progress on Twitter.

That's it for now, it is tub time for me now.

Breathing Space

Thirty eight weeks pregnant today.

If I owe you a phone call or an email, forgive me as you'll not be hearing from me for awhile. I am drugged on morphine and demerol and taking twice daily antibiotics into my arm.

I am a day patient in the hospital this week on IV therapy.

Tomorrow we see the OB and get our induction date.

Please stop phoning, please stop emailing. We know who we need to contact but both Jason and I need to be left alone right now and are tired of emptying our phones and email accounts of repetitive messages. Once is enough thanks.

(the emails of support are sweet and most welcome, but again, please just one note is enough)

If you are someone who thinks we should be contacting you ... then relax, and wait for us to do so when we can, we have not forgotten about you. We are prioritizing our energy and commitments currently.

We are at end of our rope, and the end of this pregnancy.

This request is for all family, friends and otherwise special people in our lives. Please respect our need for some space right now - my health is not well and we are trying to get things under control before the baby arrives.

Medically we won't be sharing what's happening, just know that it is enough to turn our lives upside down. This, coupled with the fact that our main water line into our house burst yesterday morning.

Turmoil and it is all out of our control.

Moving Mountains

The man in my life loves me so much, so unconditionally and without fail. It feels so overwhelming to be cared for so well and to know that no matter what, he is there for me. Always by my side, and on my side. I can't help but feel unworthy of such greatness when it comes from such a generous, intelligent and handsome fella.

Earlier today we hit a mall and I did some holiday shopping while my guy went and had his hair cut. I tired out rather quickly though and ended up needing to sit and eat frozen yogurt with my very swollen feet elevated. Contractions were happening regularly, yet of course, not with enough frequency to convince me or any doctor for that matter that I was in real labor.

A stop at Ikea went so fast it is hard to believe possible. We ran in and back out with only needing a curtain rod and new curtains for the babies room and we had success in finding exactly what we needed with rapid speed.

We went Christmas grocery shopping next and spent HUNDREDS of dollars - it was necessary and certainly needed. Particularly because I can't fathom shopping for food with a new born in the cold and hustle bustle of the month of December. This heinous task was now out of the way.

By the time we arrived home late in the afternoon it was already black outside, the teenager helped us unload our exploding vehicle of all the purchases stuffed inside of it.

Jason hemmed the new curtains and hung them, I put away all the food, then my man erected our Christmas tree right in the middle of the living room. Incredible.

This whole nesting process yields amazing results when we all work together.

And now we are about to munch of some snacks while watching a movie rental.

Good night.

Chameleon

Last night was parent teacher interviews at the teenagers school. We went. It was a worthwhile thing to do, as we are rather invested in her success.

According to at least one of her teacher, I look phenomenal for being eight and a half months pregnant and yet another teacher applauded my ability to stand in line for so long to see her.

Oh if they only knew how much I am suffering and am faking it.

I was so gleeful when we arrived home. Clothes off and robe on, drugs in me and heating pad on my back. There are few comforts right now that make a difference to my physical and emotional state, family being the biggest most supportive one.

Misery

I never, ever, ever, ever ever, EVER want to be pregnant again.

I hate it.

I can't stand for a moment longer how horrible I feel and the demands this period of time has put on my body. I am physically and emotionally drained.

Medically I have a list of woes that are getting more complicated every 48 hours, yet not-quite-bad-enough to warrant inducing me as of yet. (but I was promised if I was still in such a bad way at 38 weeks, the doctor would induce then)

I see now that I took on too much being pregnant at 37 years old, still working waaaay more than full time, existing as a functioning adult and moving a business. It was a dumb mistake on my behalf.

But I have suffered enough and I can't fake it any longer. Sorry folks, this sucks the big one. I am a wreck.

My sleep is horrible, the edema out of control, my ability to walk is hampered, heart burn that is a killer, my pelvic floor feels like a ton of bricks are laying on it, my stomach is constantly nauseous, difficulty breathing and the list goes on and on. Trust me when I say, that I've not even shared the intimate body/medical problems I am suffering with.

Tomorrow I see the Obstetrician, and again I will walk into his office and beg for relief. I have also canceled the rest of my days appointments so that I can sleep in, keep my feet up and do nothing much of anything. Other than rest that is.

Should the doctor not see things my way, it is possible that I may utter threats that I could easily follow through with. I do have plenty of supportive friends, you know?

Hitatchi Orgasm

Still pregnant and not feeling well.

Though today I did muster up strength to turn on my Hitatchi and grind myself onto its end for a powerful, long over due orgasm.

When Jason came home from work and saw the toy and a bottle of warming lubricant laying on the bed his eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning.

I feel better for the orgasm, but no more horny.

Once this child is out of me, I can't wait to resume my otherwise bountiful sex life.

Wee Hours

I awoke at two this morning with a tummy ache severe enough to keep me up till now. Currently is it five forty five. Not my usual hours that is for certain, but hey I am working hard at not complaining and only stating the obvious.

For those of you playing along at home I am 37 weeks pregnant this Wednesday and have had a rough time with this pregnancy. It started out joyful enough, though since August has been quite difficult.

These past few weeks have been exceptionally hard on me and not assisting matters is the fact that I took way more on work-wise than I should have. Some huge projects, moving our business and a few other tasks that were, and are rather labor intensive.

My unwillingness to take any of my prescribed drugs for the purpose of pain management means that I am awake, and awake means that I bake. Currently in the oven is a nice big tray of delicious brownies. When Jason gets up for work shortly he is going to take one whiff of the house, and think I have lost my mind.

Oh well, I want a hot fresh brownie and I am going to have one.

After rambling yesterday about needing some updates done on the website regarding the new facility, I decided to out source the job. I emailed someone a few hours ago and asked this person if they could do it for me. I am rather proud of myself for doing this.

My plan for today is rather lofty. Dare I say I have so much to do that it requires a list for me to complete it all and not forget anything, I do believe that before I go anywhere, I should nap for a few hours first.

It's rather amusing watching me drive. I like my seat very close to the steering wheel, and well, my belly is now in the way. Plus I am unable to sit in one position for more than five minutes before the right side of my back cramps up severely. This means that I am contorted sideways while driving, as well as driving single handed so I can push my fist into the knot in my back for some brief relief. Driving is not something I am doing much of this past while, but today I must. Wish me luck.

The Game of Life

Sunday is supposedly the day of rest. Wish it was true that I feel refreshed after having spent the whole day at home in my robe after a late sleep in and now hours on the sofa.

Alas, it is not the case. I am still exhausted, edema filled and in pain. The medical issues I am currently faced with are rather daunting and personal, yet as you can likely tell are taking their toll on me.

There is much work to complete on my professional website to update it with information on our new facility, event offerings and a ton of other relevant data now that we have moved.

Perhaps this is a good time to get this underway. Or maybe I will delegate the task to a willing volunteer who would happily take this on and get it done promptly for me thus minimizing my stress level. Delegation is not my strong point, I tend to take on too much for me own good, but have been reminded lately by friends and medical professionals that this type of behavior is not serving me, and rather harming me.

Every move takes so much out of me lately, that I have had to plot my actions to ensure I have the energy levels to function doing the bare minimum of what is necessary in life. Getting this baby out of me should help alleviate much of my physical discontent thankfully.

The man is working today, rare for a Sunday. But hey it's overtime and with time off in his not so distant future, he took the opportunity to put in some extra hours. The teenager has been away all weekend doing something super cool and elite, and she is due home shortly. I can't wait to have everyone back so we can catch up together and share a meal.

Crash, Boom, Bang

Orgasms have not washed over my body in a couple of weeks. I can not muster the desire nor the strength to go there.

It may strike you as odd that me, the woman that coaches many thousands of people every year on having a successful sex life has been to run down to have my own needs met.

It's true though, life can either be on your side or against you now and again when it comes to being sexual.

As of late, life has been against me, my pregnancy has reeked havoc on my body, and pleasure has been the last thing on my mind for myself.

Now and again I have a fleeting moment where I think an orgasm would be most welcome, then I realize it would take what little strength I have to make it happen, and my energy is best kept in reserves right now, because any moment I could need it for labor and delivery.

I spent the weekend (Thursday to Friday) leading ten classes to literally thousands of people on having a more fulfilling sex life and I did so to great acclaim. And as each class ended, it took all my energy to get off the stage and catch my breath.

This pregnancy feels like it will never end, and yet I am desperate to have it over with. Not just because I want an orgasm but because the ongoing medical issues are becoming so over-the-top that it feels as though I will never be the same woman again.

And yet, I know all of this to be not true. I know it will take some time, but that I will regain my desire, my body shape and my energy levels. In the mean time though, I find it difficult to watch others have such an easy time of life and self.

I am struggling, and it is with all honesty that I share this with you all. I know to some degree how so many of you view me. Super woman is the term regularly used to describe me. Well, my cape is ripped, and it's going to take awhile to repair. Excuse me while I tend to it, as you can imagine how important it is to me.

Supporting this Pregnant Woman

If you have the desire to do something for our soon to be born son or for our family here are a couple of options for you.

1. Look over our Baby Registry and see if you can find something their that you would like to gift us with.

2. Cook for us. We have a huge deep freeze and having it filled with precooked meals for our family would be of huge benefit to us. We are not picky eaters: meat dishes, soups, lasagnas and non spicy foods are most welcomed and truth be told, baked goods would make the family happy and would really please me as well. Don't forget we also have a teenager so meals should be made for three adults with healthy appetites.

3. Send cards and notes of well wishes to:

Jennifer
PO Box 28578
4050 Hastings Street
Burnaby BC
Canada V5C 6J4


Thank you to everyone who has thus far been so supportive and kind. The baby is still in me and yes, we are more than ready to get him out. Now if he would just appear, it would alleviate much of the stress, pain and angst I (we) have been plagued with these past few weeks.

Soon to Erupt

Contractions.

Pain.

Exhausted.

Canceling two of my classes today and only doing the 8 and 10 PM ones.

Spending the afternoon napping and attempting to catch my breath.

Survived .... barely

Day 1 of Taboo is over.

I could cry right about now, but that would take more energy than I have available.

So instead I am going to bed.

I need to lay flat for a long time, both to sleep and recuperate and to get the edema to go down in my legs.

Tomorrow is already fast approaching and I can't say at this moment that I'm looking forward to it.

Perhaps a good rest will change my perspective.

Head Down and Engaged

It's madness around our house today. I had an appointment to get highlights in my hair at the unheard of hour of nine thirty in the morning. Then by eleven I was at the printers picking up my handouts for Taboo. At twelve thirty, I was over at the seamstress's house packing the oversize genitalia into my vehicle.

At one thirty I was at my Obstetricians, where he told me that the little fellow is now head down and engaged. This means, I am ready to go into labor AT-ANY-TIME-NOW. Dear god this is all happening fast.

Then by two thirty I was back home unloading the Jeeps contents into our foyer, and stuffing a sandwich into myself for some nourishment. Spent an hour on the computer, then went to the bank and the grocery store for a spice I needed for tonight's dinner.

At four thirty I was laid out naked aside from my panties while my registered massage therapist started our forty five minute session of her working out the knots in my pregnant and stressed body.

Home by five forty five, where by I cooked dinner, then had a bath. Then for the last few hours, I have been packing my class teaching bags for tomorrow's two classes and one main stage show.

I lack the skill set necessary to do nothing and find it difficult to even slow down. This is a bad trait and one I wish I did not possess. I'm an over achiever.

Jason's mom arrives tomorrow and will be at Taboo. Her plan is simple: shop, hang out, and take in every thing that I am hosting.

The show does not open till five at night, but we need to arrive early in order to set up. Plus this is when I do so much networking, before the shoppers arrive and when it is only the business owners.

Orgasms Inducing Labor

Every time I masturbate and pop off an orgasm, within one minute I have a huge contraction. This then sets me up for at least 2-3 more over the next short while.

The orgasms are so intense and necessary for stress reduction, yet they produce anxiety as I really do not want to go into labor until the second of week of November minimum. Especially given all the commitments that are currently before me, having the baby now would be crazy.

So should I give up orgasms and masturbating and throw caution to the wind, or should I keep having O's and praying that they do not induce actual labor? I am uncertain at this point.

This afternoon I saw a coaching client and taught him a class on the G-spot and I even brought in a model for this demo class - it was very well received and went great.

Then this evening was my class for women on Dominance in the bedroom. A great group of women gathered together to learn and become inspired and I am confident our two hours together left them feeling more confident and so desiring a chance to put their newly acquired skills to use.

Then I came home and answered email, before passing out cold. So tired. So weary. So pregnant and sore.