Allena arrives in to me tomorrow early afternoon, how exciting for us! Some girl time together before we head off to her class in the evening.
Today I was at the lab having my blood work drawn for the hospital; the woman who took my blood had a good steady hand and managed to keep me calm while doing it as well.
Wednesday morning Bella will take me to the hospital and my Daddy will be there when I get out of surgery and wake up.
Doug on his way out of town for work stopped by today with hot chocolate and warm wishes, and Linnea and I have plans for later in the week while I'm recovering on bed rest.
Keith thank you for the stack of erotic comic books, they'll make my recovery time be more exciting.
and to everyone else who has written in with offers of cooked meals, movies, books, warm wishes and hope, know that I appreciate so much the kindness and thoughtfullness of each of you
Jennifer
Jennifer ... Vancouver's Sex Educator, Sexuality Coach and Activist. The content of this blog is not suited for those under the age of 18. What you'll find here is a written account of my personal journey in sex positive culture both personally and professionally.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Monday, January 16, 2006
tomorrow's class
**TUESDAY JANUARY 17**
The Good, The Bad and The Poly with Allena Gabosch
7:30-9:30pm
$20 pay cash at door
#210 -207 West Hastings St. Vancouver
Polyamory is a much misunderstood lifestyle. This will be an open and honest discussion about Polyamory in all its forms, from someone who has done it for 30+ years. Polyamory is an incredible lifestyle, but not always an easy one. It has a lot of rewards, but there are also a lot of pitfalls and potential disasters. Learn Allena's 20 "Relationship Rules" to live by (great for anyone, poly or mono). Find out tips on making it easier to live within your "poly-molecule". Come prepared to be part of this dialogue and share your poly experiences.
Allena Gabosch, Executive Director of Seattle's Sex-Positive Community Center (aka The Wet Spot www.wetspot.org) has been active in the sex positive movement practically from it's beginning (in fact, she's creating sex positive culture on a daily basis). She has been producing educational and social events for the sex-positive community since 1990. She is a frequent speaker on many sex-positive subjects at colleges and conferences around the United States and Canada, with an emphasis on BDSM and Polyamory. She is the festival Director for the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. She is a past board member of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. In her less than mundane non-kinky life she is the President of the board of Consolidated Art Works, volunteers with GLBT youth and loves theater, good food, walking around Seattle and plans to run for Seattle City Council in a few years. She is a bisexual, poly switch and is in a poly triad. She considers herself blessed as she has a rich and full life, with many amazing and loving people in her "poly molecule".
more info on this class
The Good, The Bad and The Poly with Allena Gabosch
7:30-9:30pm
$20 pay cash at door
#210 -207 West Hastings St. Vancouver
Polyamory is a much misunderstood lifestyle. This will be an open and honest discussion about Polyamory in all its forms, from someone who has done it for 30+ years. Polyamory is an incredible lifestyle, but not always an easy one. It has a lot of rewards, but there are also a lot of pitfalls and potential disasters. Learn Allena's 20 "Relationship Rules" to live by (great for anyone, poly or mono). Find out tips on making it easier to live within your "poly-molecule". Come prepared to be part of this dialogue and share your poly experiences.
Allena Gabosch, Executive Director of Seattle's Sex-Positive Community Center (aka The Wet Spot www.wetspot.org) has been active in the sex positive movement practically from it's beginning (in fact, she's creating sex positive culture on a daily basis). She has been producing educational and social events for the sex-positive community since 1990. She is a frequent speaker on many sex-positive subjects at colleges and conferences around the United States and Canada, with an emphasis on BDSM and Polyamory. She is the festival Director for the Seattle Erotic Art Festival. She is a past board member of the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. In her less than mundane non-kinky life she is the President of the board of Consolidated Art Works, volunteers with GLBT youth and loves theater, good food, walking around Seattle and plans to run for Seattle City Council in a few years. She is a bisexual, poly switch and is in a poly triad. She considers herself blessed as she has a rich and full life, with many amazing and loving people in her "poly molecule".
more info on this class
Friday, January 13, 2006
an email
this email came to me this morning from a couple who I don't know. They found themselves in a class of mine the other night at The Taboo Show, my Sex Tips From A BiSexual Woman. I thought I'd share how new people "view" me when coming across me in a workshop setting.
Hi Jennifer,
We just wanted to extend our thanks for your workshop seminar you conducted at the Taboo Sex Show Thursday evening. We attended the first one of the evening - the one with the faulty headset - and we thoroughly enjoyed it! It was my first experience at the sex show with my partner, and her first time ever.
We talked the whole way home about how impressed we were with your character and maturity. While we agreed that some people may be offended by a presentation like that - and if they are they shouldn't be at the sex show to begin with - but we were both struck by your self-assurance. You really come across as someone who is comfortable with who she is and doesn't worry what naysayers may think, and that's a very admirable quality. And somewhat rare these days.
My partner absolutely adored your frank choices of words - in fact, we both groan with embarassment when so-called "sex experts" shy away from real language. We enjoyed hearing about new and often confusing things in plain, everyday, easy-to-understand language. So thanks for that.
We are new to alternative sexuality but in the year we've been together we have come to realize we're both very curious and open-minded. So our next step is to figure out where our interests lie, and where they may take us. Thanks for a positive and highly enjoyable 'initiation'!!
Tom and Sue
(names changed to protect all)
oh and by the way, I'm teaching at Taboo Saturday afternoon again, 2 classes, and another on Sunday. Sex Tips, Erotic Wax and Ice Play & Tie Me To The Bed Posts Please! If you plan on attending, look for me and let's say say Hi!
blessinngs
Jennifer
Hi Jennifer,
We just wanted to extend our thanks for your workshop seminar you conducted at the Taboo Sex Show Thursday evening. We attended the first one of the evening - the one with the faulty headset - and we thoroughly enjoyed it! It was my first experience at the sex show with my partner, and her first time ever.
We talked the whole way home about how impressed we were with your character and maturity. While we agreed that some people may be offended by a presentation like that - and if they are they shouldn't be at the sex show to begin with - but we were both struck by your self-assurance. You really come across as someone who is comfortable with who she is and doesn't worry what naysayers may think, and that's a very admirable quality. And somewhat rare these days.
My partner absolutely adored your frank choices of words - in fact, we both groan with embarassment when so-called "sex experts" shy away from real language. We enjoyed hearing about new and often confusing things in plain, everyday, easy-to-understand language. So thanks for that.
We are new to alternative sexuality but in the year we've been together we have come to realize we're both very curious and open-minded. So our next step is to figure out where our interests lie, and where they may take us. Thanks for a positive and highly enjoyable 'initiation'!!
Tom and Sue
(names changed to protect all)
oh and by the way, I'm teaching at Taboo Saturday afternoon again, 2 classes, and another on Sunday. Sex Tips, Erotic Wax and Ice Play & Tie Me To The Bed Posts Please! If you plan on attending, look for me and let's say say Hi!
blessinngs
Jennifer
Thursday, January 12, 2006
class, toys, surgery date change
at 7:00pm this evening I was on stage wearing a head set at The Taboo Show in downtown Vancouver. Wow, what an amazing experience to do a 30 minute demo of Sex Tips From A Bi Sexual Woman in such a venue at such a fast pace. There was just no way for me to get in any more information than I did, time was short but the sex tips were plenty. It's such a high to watch the look of recognition wash across peoples faces as what I'm educating about rings true for them or stirs something in them.
Plenty of familiar faces present from Vancouver's sex positive communities. Many people I knew professionally & personally through the sex industry or through events I host or attend were there, it was great to be able to catch up with 20% of my address book at once.
At 9:00pm I was sitting naked under a blanket with my daughter on the sofa at home, cuddled up watching tv. In my room is my rolling suitcase with my workshop aids in it and a few bags of new sex toys, books and products that need to be explored and tried out, about 20 new items to add to the collection. (toys will be gone over tomorrow when child is in school) And before you gasp at the number of new toys I left with, know that I gained everything in the name of sex positive education.
Sitting in the back of mind all day has been some news that I've been rolling around trying to come to terms with. My surgery date has been moved to January 18, which is next Wednesday. Given that I thought I had till Feb 1 to prepare emotionally for the surgery, it seems that with the event happening next week, I will have no time to work myself in to a frenzy. Between motherhood and 4 more events before the big day, it would seem that I'm meant to fly in the front door of the hospital, and fly right back out the Exit when done, with a magic wand to sprinkle me with speedy recovery time before returning to work.
two more teaspoons of Robitussin for my head / chest cold that I'm currently nursing and now I'm going to bed...
hugs to you all, and thank you to everyone who brought me treats tonight at the show and little gifts, I enjoyed meeting all the new faces from the mailing list and seeing some of you friends that I don't run across all that often
Jennifer
Plenty of familiar faces present from Vancouver's sex positive communities. Many people I knew professionally & personally through the sex industry or through events I host or attend were there, it was great to be able to catch up with 20% of my address book at once.
At 9:00pm I was sitting naked under a blanket with my daughter on the sofa at home, cuddled up watching tv. In my room is my rolling suitcase with my workshop aids in it and a few bags of new sex toys, books and products that need to be explored and tried out, about 20 new items to add to the collection. (toys will be gone over tomorrow when child is in school) And before you gasp at the number of new toys I left with, know that I gained everything in the name of sex positive education.
Sitting in the back of mind all day has been some news that I've been rolling around trying to come to terms with. My surgery date has been moved to January 18, which is next Wednesday. Given that I thought I had till Feb 1 to prepare emotionally for the surgery, it seems that with the event happening next week, I will have no time to work myself in to a frenzy. Between motherhood and 4 more events before the big day, it would seem that I'm meant to fly in the front door of the hospital, and fly right back out the Exit when done, with a magic wand to sprinkle me with speedy recovery time before returning to work.
two more teaspoons of Robitussin for my head / chest cold that I'm currently nursing and now I'm going to bed...
hugs to you all, and thank you to everyone who brought me treats tonight at the show and little gifts, I enjoyed meeting all the new faces from the mailing list and seeing some of you friends that I don't run across all that often
Jennifer
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
readying for class
home packing for my class this evening in Bellingham for the Triskelli Guild. I'm teaching Sex Tips From A BiSexual Woman, a popular class these days of mine and one that I'm presenting twice for the Taboo Show later this week as well. Come down and check out the demo's I'll be doing. Please note, that due to the venue, setting and numbers of people in attendance, these will be demo's only and not full length workshops. (though some of the visuals may titillate you!)
Website has been updated with Naughty Party details for this coming January 27. Now I'm off to the Post Office, the bank and the printers.
This was sent out to be distributed widely...
Website has been updated with Naughty Party details for this coming January 27. Now I'm off to the Post Office, the bank and the printers.
This was sent out to be distributed widely...
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
ANNOUNCING: FTM 2006: A Gender Odyssey
September 1st -4th, 2006
CONTACT INFO: FTM 2006: A Gender Odyssey
PMB# 796, 1122 E Pike St
Seattle, WA 98122
info@transconference.org
Check out our new website!
SEATTLE, WA: FTM 2006: A Gender Odyssey is a national conference for masculine-identified people who were assigned female gender at birth. It is a place for us to gather together, share our lives, learn from one another, and celebrate our communities. This conference offers a variety of workshops and discussions addressing the practical aspects of trans lives. Accompanying events include a vendor fair, art exhibit, BBQ, cabaret, all-ages dance, and more.
This conference is also open to anyone interested in the topics to be covered. Whether you are new to thinking about your gender, well-established in your identity, FTM, trans, genderqueer, MTF, part of any of these communities because of the people you love, or simply questioning the role of gender in your life, FTM 2006: A Gender Odyssey is open to you.
Programming and the newly-formed Advisory Committee
The majority of workshops and panels offered at this conference are selected from our attendees own programming submissions. Last year's outreach efforts were successful in measurable ways and we want to continue in this vein. We invite and encourage workshop proposals in the following areas:
* Submissions from people of color on all topics
* Older and/or post-transitioned FTMs and transmen
* Medical/mental health professionals
* Families
* Partners past, present, and future
Gender Odyssey now has an independent Advisory Committee in addition to its organizing committee. We are excited to incorporate this volunteer-driven committee whose purpose is to evaluate conference programming, ensure a balanced and inclusionary schedule, and offer creative programming suggestions. This group will assist in outreach to people of color (poc) with the intent of increasing poc attendance and participation.
Register Early!!
Don't wait until the last minute to register. Our early bird registration rate is over 35% lower than if you wait until you get to town. This rate won't last long March 31st so mark it on your calendar and tell your friends!
TRANSLATIONS: Seattle's First Transgender Film Festival - Call for Entries!
TRANSLATIONS seeks entries for its 2006 Labor Day festival. Please see our website for more details.
Now in its fourth year, Gender Odyssey returns to the convention center.
Based on attendee feedback, we will return to the Washington State Convention and Trade Center. Friendliness of convention center staff, workshops in one centralized location, and proximity to the host hotel were some of the merits cited.
Monday, January 09, 2006
in the parkade
today dressed in camouflage military cap & button-down shirt (with a pink sweater underneath) with jeans folded up to my knees and boots on my feet. New boots made of rubber; hot pink flowers with shiny black background & yellow detailing. When my daughter awoke this morning to my rousing her for school, she looked at me hard, and the visual of me had her chuckling and shaking her head. "Are you serious Mom?"
Walking through the parkade to the car, as I was doing my mother duties of chauffeuring my child to school and a man is sitting working on his truck in a parking stall. Being polite and neighborly I introduce myself and say Good Morning, commenting on the rainy weather; we chat for a brief minute as I continue to walk to my car.
Drive my daughter to school, come home for the day to work, then at 2:45 I'm driving up my street when I see something stuck under my windshield wiper. Pulling over, quickly and inquisitively, I snatch up the green business card.
The card states the occupation of the owner on one side, and on the other, written in pen is
How to deal with this I'm unsure. I'd thought that seeing me dressed as I was he would have been shocked at my boldness and gone the other way. Remember, my daughter and I are holding hands, I'm obviously an oddly dressed, living his own building, single parent; surely a sane man would not have left his card and number on my windshield. Sighs, but he did and now I need to be polite again and give him a call and tell him that I'm not available.
Oh I am so not available. chuckle, chuckle, chuckle
=======
I saw this on a bumper sticker today "When the power of love, Overcomes the love of power, The world will know peace."
Walking through the parkade to the car, as I was doing my mother duties of chauffeuring my child to school and a man is sitting working on his truck in a parking stall. Being polite and neighborly I introduce myself and say Good Morning, commenting on the rainy weather; we chat for a brief minute as I continue to walk to my car.
Drive my daughter to school, come home for the day to work, then at 2:45 I'm driving up my street when I see something stuck under my windshield wiper. Pulling over, quickly and inquisitively, I snatch up the green business card.
The card states the occupation of the owner on one side, and on the other, written in pen is
Hi Jennifer Give Me A Call, Ed 604 555 1234
Maybe we can have a nice visit. L8R
How to deal with this I'm unsure. I'd thought that seeing me dressed as I was he would have been shocked at my boldness and gone the other way. Remember, my daughter and I are holding hands, I'm obviously an oddly dressed, living his own building, single parent; surely a sane man would not have left his card and number on my windshield. Sighs, but he did and now I need to be polite again and give him a call and tell him that I'm not available.
Oh I am so not available. chuckle, chuckle, chuckle
=======
I saw this on a bumper sticker today "When the power of love, Overcomes the love of power, The world will know peace."
Saturday, January 07, 2006
live in concert
just over an hour ago my daughter and I arrived home safe and sound. Our ears are still ringing, the vibrations from the music are still pumping life through our veins.
At the PNE tonight, we had tickets [a Christmas present] to see Hilary Duff live in concert. Given that my daughter whose 12 is truly coming of age, she amazed me this evening with dancing & cheering for someone who is her first music icon. Duff, go figure. This was also our second time seeing Hilary live.
It was a lengthy concert and filled in the coliseum to capacity was what appeared to be every woman / young woman of child bearing age in the GVRD. Probably 90% in the crowd this evening was female; it was shocking to see what some mothers allowed their daughters to be wearing or behaving like.
Suffice to say, we had such a wonderful night out together and it's another experience I'm grateful I had the chance to share with my child.
Now, sitting naked watching the news, just out of the tub, towel wrapped around my head and I've got some final details to complete on this project on my desktop before I can head off to bed.
Bed and sleep is where I should be given that tomorrow I'm teaching two classes in Birch Bay for the Adult Friend Finder Group in the afternoon.
Jennifer
At the PNE tonight, we had tickets [a Christmas present] to see Hilary Duff live in concert. Given that my daughter whose 12 is truly coming of age, she amazed me this evening with dancing & cheering for someone who is her first music icon. Duff, go figure. This was also our second time seeing Hilary live.
It was a lengthy concert and filled in the coliseum to capacity was what appeared to be every woman / young woman of child bearing age in the GVRD. Probably 90% in the crowd this evening was female; it was shocking to see what some mothers allowed their daughters to be wearing or behaving like.
Suffice to say, we had such a wonderful night out together and it's another experience I'm grateful I had the chance to share with my child.
Now, sitting naked watching the news, just out of the tub, towel wrapped around my head and I've got some final details to complete on this project on my desktop before I can head off to bed.
Bed and sleep is where I should be given that tomorrow I'm teaching two classes in Birch Bay for the Adult Friend Finder Group in the afternoon.
Jennifer
Friday, January 06, 2006
rattan canes
standing only in a little pink thong, attached is a ruffled skirt of about 3 inches of fabric in sheer hearts covering my moist bits, pink ankle strap heart pumps and my purple tinkerbell blanket as a cape over my bare shoulders / body. The party is loud but the noise doesn't detract from two luscious friends of mine Brendan & Juju that I see coming towards me through all the people.
Bad Juju Designs is the company they own and they make custom hand finished rattan canes. The colors are wild and the sizes of canes are vast, what great kinky canes they make.
Juju handed me the most lovely two canes, thin & whispy in pink and oh my if they weren't tied up in a beautiful pink ribbon to boot. Much fun will be had caning some upper inner thighs, cocks that I'm partial to and some breasts that are in need of attention; these new canes are sized perfectly just for those delicate areas. I love new toys and I certainly enjoy being able to do things to people with the toys that I own.
Bad Juju Designs
You both are such sexy kissers, I found it very erotic that in one night we finally had the right set of circumstances for such an amazing first kiss. Each of you.
That these new implements match the rest of the set of pink canes that they have made for me is making me feel quite special, a full set of 6. sweet : ) Thank you both for the kindness!
hugs
Jennifer
Bad Juju Designs is the company they own and they make custom hand finished rattan canes. The colors are wild and the sizes of canes are vast, what great kinky canes they make.
Juju handed me the most lovely two canes, thin & whispy in pink and oh my if they weren't tied up in a beautiful pink ribbon to boot. Much fun will be had caning some upper inner thighs, cocks that I'm partial to and some breasts that are in need of attention; these new canes are sized perfectly just for those delicate areas. I love new toys and I certainly enjoy being able to do things to people with the toys that I own.
You both are such sexy kissers, I found it very erotic that in one night we finally had the right set of circumstances for such an amazing first kiss. Each of you.
That these new implements match the rest of the set of pink canes that they have made for me is making me feel quite special, a full set of 6. sweet : ) Thank you both for the kindness!
hugs
Jennifer
Thursday, January 05, 2006
surgery date
it seems that the answer to the issue of my breast is surgery.
On February 1, I will be having the offending lump removed from my left breast in hospital.
The lump is in the exact same spot as last time. [3 years ago] And I'm looking forward to having this pea size problem out of me, and because of my last breast issue, when the operation is finished they are going to start me on a full round of antibiotics this time.
In the mean time, before surgery, I have 14 events to host in January and much work to get done. It's my hope that this whole surgery will be nothing more than a small inconvenience in my otherwise busy sex-positive world.
Want to share a sentiment of hope or words of encouragement?? Well, I'm all ears...
Jennifer
On February 1, I will be having the offending lump removed from my left breast in hospital.
The lump is in the exact same spot as last time. [3 years ago] And I'm looking forward to having this pea size problem out of me, and because of my last breast issue, when the operation is finished they are going to start me on a full round of antibiotics this time.
In the mean time, before surgery, I have 14 events to host in January and much work to get done. It's my hope that this whole surgery will be nothing more than a small inconvenience in my otherwise busy sex-positive world.
Want to share a sentiment of hope or words of encouragement?? Well, I'm all ears...
Jennifer
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
breast news today
Today I've a 10:30 appointment with the breast surgeon and from there I head straight to work till 6:00pm. What a long day today will be, both emotionally & physically. However it will be good to have some resolution to the issue of my left breast and the lump from hell.
Slept like a log last night after catching up on days worth of e-mail: the result of being in the United States over New Years and not wanting to open my laptop. Now back to the routine and grind of another year... Happy 2006 everyone!
Jennifer
Slept like a log last night after catching up on days worth of e-mail: the result of being in the United States over New Years and not wanting to open my laptop. Now back to the routine and grind of another year... Happy 2006 everyone!
Jennifer
Monday, January 02, 2006
someone else's writing
A Story of Experiencing: Tie Me to the Bedposts, Please!
A Libido Events course on bondage
By Shantar
(note from Jennifer: I taught this class privately for the BiSexual Girls Group of Vancouver BGV in the living room and dining room of one of their members. The class is a bedroom bondage basics class and the writer wrote this story of her experience for the BGV January 06 newsletter, much to my surprise. My cattle prod is sometimes brought to classes as a fun little sensation seeker toy that makes for good conversation in classes. Sometimes as in this case, someone namely the writer, and another half dozen atleast tried it that evening at my hand, the leap from Wow, conversation starter, to WOW, impact maker.)
It was a fabulous time that went by so very quickly! I was able to try pallet wrap as a restraint tool, and this time I was both wrapper and wrappee! I won't be able to use my electric toothbrush without giggling...I never knew one would work so well in all those tight, hot places of my mummified partner.
For me, the sensation of being totally enclosed, (even my toes!) with ice in all the hot spots and a vibrating toothbrush humming and buzzing along the plastic was amazing; nails on skin that was exposed and vulnerable due to a carefully cut hole in the wrap were shiver-inducing. Made with safety scissors, of course.
I had a chance to test a boundary of mine that night. You know how some boundaries are kind of fluid, or grey? The type where your partner can ease you over it, gradually introduce you to something. Well this boundary of mind didn't have an “ease line”. I either did it. Or I didn't. “There is no try,” to quote Yoda.
Jennifer, our class facilitator, mentor, instructor and generally amazing sex educator, had a new toy...an electric cattle prod. Now I have this thing with electricity. It likes me. I mean, it really likes me. My muscles react way over the top whenever I come into contact with it. Apparently, it's due to a high salt content in my blood. Weird, but true. In any case, it means I conduct really, really well, so electrical stimulation is INTENSE.
So there I was, laid out on the carpet in a warm room, wrapped from shoulders to toes in clingy, clear plastic film, and blind-folded. Jennifer's voice drifted over towards me. She was speaking to the pair of women next to me.
"Do you know what I have with me? It's my cattle prod." Anxiety tightens my belly muscles, and my breathing hitches a bit. I'm right beside them. Next in line. For a force I'm so fearful of. But I know nothing will happen unless I say "Yes. Yes, I can handle that."
So the internal dialogue begins within myself: my paranoid, protective skeptic (yes, even kinksters have them!), and my rational mind.
"No way I’m doing that! It would be so harsh. You remember what it felt like the time the dishwasher shorted out and you were pregnant!?!"
"I remember. I was so afraid for the baby. But listen to the giggles going on beside you. She’s wrapped up, yet seems to enjoy it, and she's not afraid." (Cue delightful little yelps and eeps.)
"What if I need to move? I'm all wrapped up, I can barely budge. If I cramp up, what then?"
"There are medical scissors right here, with your partner. You’d be released very quickly."
"I’ve heard the sensation can be really strong for some people, and it can last quite a while..."
"You've handled strong sensations before. Your first flogging was for half an hour. You remember what that was like? Intense, but good, so very, very good. Aren't you just a bit curious?"
"Well, yes...but…I'm scared."
The sound of clothing rustling: Jennifer moving to my side. "Well, Shantar, what about you? Do you want to try?"
"That would really be pushing a limit," comes out in a strangled voice.
"Is that a yes...or a no?" her silky voice inquires, dropping half an octave.
”She asked!”
"So, what now?"
"I'm still not sure..."
"You're with someone you trust, in a roomful of like-minded women. If not here, now, then with whom, where, and when?"
"o...ok. OK. I will!
"Yes", I reply aloud. It’s the longest word I can manage. Three seconds have passed.
I feel warmth drape itself along my right side; Jennifer has snuggled up beside me, her presence lending me strength.“Put your head on my arm”, she instructs. I feel a little foolish, but I slide a bit more towards her, and rest my neck against the crook of her left arm. I relax into her warmth, and the tension in my body begins to ease. It is peaceful lying beside her.
A hand brushes against the only opening cut into my pallet-wrap cocoon—earlier my upper thighs and crotch were bared to the whims of my partner. It is on that delicate inner thigh I feel a warm hand, holding cool plastic, stop. “I’ll do her right here, on the upper thigh.”
Internal voices howl in unison: “Sheeeeiiiiiit! For a panicy moment I seriously consider scooching under the table.
“Breathe…”, Jennifer instructs quietly.
First breath in…
“Remember what Dossie Easton said…deep breaths. Belly breaths. Send down the cord, connect to the earth, to strength, to red warmth.” The basic tenant of Tantric breathing.
Slow exhale…tension sliding away…
“She’s going to do it on the exhale next time…”
“Hush…you could stop it if you wished. Right now.”
Second breath in..
“Midori does, on the second one…”
“Do you want to?”
Slow exhale…toes curling
“Hey, she didn’t!”
“Do you want to stop?”
Third breath in…
“Everyone, breath with Shantar…” a hint of excitement in Jennifer’s voice, warm enthusiasm and encouragement flow behind the words. I feel and hear the whole room inhale…a shared moment of energy, of intention, of anticipation. A dozen women lend their strength…and I spiral out to the room to encompass what is offered.
inhaling…
“Do you want to stop?”
“God….don’t”
Exhale…floating…
Then…bzzzzt! Air whooshes out of my lungs and I jackknife in a ‘v’. Muscles spasm from sternum to right knee. “Huhhhhh”, I manage, eloquently. Heart trip-hammering in my chest, breath huffing and puffing in gasps.
“You did it! You survived!” Laughter in Jennifer’s voice; joyous ribbing at my reaction. A whisper in my ear: “It’s really quite the mind fuck, isn’t it?” I nod once, not yet trusting myself to speak. A few moments of stunned amazement, then a grin begins to appear on my face.
“Damn!”
“Yeah.”
Yes, it was an intense experience. But I did survive. The funny thing is it didn’t hurt, exactly. More like getting the wind knocked out of me. And that huge muscle clench…
“I wonder what it’d feel like to have that hit right at the moment of orgasm…”
“Yeahhhhh…”
==========================
The reference to Dossie Easton came from the class she ran on “Radical Ecstasy”, a part of the Libido Events Vancouver Sexpo held last fall. I highly recommend the book of the same name.
A Libido Events course on bondage
By Shantar
(note from Jennifer: I taught this class privately for the BiSexual Girls Group of Vancouver BGV in the living room and dining room of one of their members. The class is a bedroom bondage basics class and the writer wrote this story of her experience for the BGV January 06 newsletter, much to my surprise. My cattle prod is sometimes brought to classes as a fun little sensation seeker toy that makes for good conversation in classes. Sometimes as in this case, someone namely the writer, and another half dozen atleast tried it that evening at my hand, the leap from Wow, conversation starter, to WOW, impact maker.)
It was a fabulous time that went by so very quickly! I was able to try pallet wrap as a restraint tool, and this time I was both wrapper and wrappee! I won't be able to use my electric toothbrush without giggling...I never knew one would work so well in all those tight, hot places of my mummified partner.
For me, the sensation of being totally enclosed, (even my toes!) with ice in all the hot spots and a vibrating toothbrush humming and buzzing along the plastic was amazing; nails on skin that was exposed and vulnerable due to a carefully cut hole in the wrap were shiver-inducing. Made with safety scissors, of course.
I had a chance to test a boundary of mine that night. You know how some boundaries are kind of fluid, or grey? The type where your partner can ease you over it, gradually introduce you to something. Well this boundary of mind didn't have an “ease line”. I either did it. Or I didn't. “There is no try,” to quote Yoda.
Jennifer, our class facilitator, mentor, instructor and generally amazing sex educator, had a new toy...an electric cattle prod. Now I have this thing with electricity. It likes me. I mean, it really likes me. My muscles react way over the top whenever I come into contact with it. Apparently, it's due to a high salt content in my blood. Weird, but true. In any case, it means I conduct really, really well, so electrical stimulation is INTENSE.
So there I was, laid out on the carpet in a warm room, wrapped from shoulders to toes in clingy, clear plastic film, and blind-folded. Jennifer's voice drifted over towards me. She was speaking to the pair of women next to me.
"Do you know what I have with me? It's my cattle prod." Anxiety tightens my belly muscles, and my breathing hitches a bit. I'm right beside them. Next in line. For a force I'm so fearful of. But I know nothing will happen unless I say "Yes. Yes, I can handle that."
So the internal dialogue begins within myself: my paranoid, protective skeptic (yes, even kinksters have them!), and my rational mind.
"No way I’m doing that! It would be so harsh. You remember what it felt like the time the dishwasher shorted out and you were pregnant!?!"
"I remember. I was so afraid for the baby. But listen to the giggles going on beside you. She’s wrapped up, yet seems to enjoy it, and she's not afraid." (Cue delightful little yelps and eeps.)
"What if I need to move? I'm all wrapped up, I can barely budge. If I cramp up, what then?"
"There are medical scissors right here, with your partner. You’d be released very quickly."
"I’ve heard the sensation can be really strong for some people, and it can last quite a while..."
"You've handled strong sensations before. Your first flogging was for half an hour. You remember what that was like? Intense, but good, so very, very good. Aren't you just a bit curious?"
"Well, yes...but…I'm scared."
The sound of clothing rustling: Jennifer moving to my side. "Well, Shantar, what about you? Do you want to try?"
"That would really be pushing a limit," comes out in a strangled voice.
"Is that a yes...or a no?" her silky voice inquires, dropping half an octave.
”She asked!”
"So, what now?"
"I'm still not sure..."
"You're with someone you trust, in a roomful of like-minded women. If not here, now, then with whom, where, and when?"
"o...ok. OK. I will!
"Yes", I reply aloud. It’s the longest word I can manage. Three seconds have passed.
I feel warmth drape itself along my right side; Jennifer has snuggled up beside me, her presence lending me strength.“Put your head on my arm”, she instructs. I feel a little foolish, but I slide a bit more towards her, and rest my neck against the crook of her left arm. I relax into her warmth, and the tension in my body begins to ease. It is peaceful lying beside her.
A hand brushes against the only opening cut into my pallet-wrap cocoon—earlier my upper thighs and crotch were bared to the whims of my partner. It is on that delicate inner thigh I feel a warm hand, holding cool plastic, stop. “I’ll do her right here, on the upper thigh.”
Internal voices howl in unison: “Sheeeeiiiiiit! For a panicy moment I seriously consider scooching under the table.
“Breathe…”, Jennifer instructs quietly.
First breath in…
“Remember what Dossie Easton said…deep breaths. Belly breaths. Send down the cord, connect to the earth, to strength, to red warmth.” The basic tenant of Tantric breathing.
Slow exhale…tension sliding away…
“She’s going to do it on the exhale next time…”
“Hush…you could stop it if you wished. Right now.”
Second breath in..
“Midori does, on the second one…”
“Do you want to?”
Slow exhale…toes curling
“Hey, she didn’t!”
“Do you want to stop?”
Third breath in…
“Everyone, breath with Shantar…” a hint of excitement in Jennifer’s voice, warm enthusiasm and encouragement flow behind the words. I feel and hear the whole room inhale…a shared moment of energy, of intention, of anticipation. A dozen women lend their strength…and I spiral out to the room to encompass what is offered.
inhaling…
“Do you want to stop?”
“God….don’t
Exhale…floating…
Then…bzzzzt! Air whooshes out of my lungs and I jackknife in a ‘v’. Muscles spasm from sternum to right knee. “Huhhhhh”, I manage, eloquently. Heart trip-hammering in my chest, breath huffing and puffing in gasps.
“You did it! You survived!” Laughter in Jennifer’s voice; joyous ribbing at my reaction. A whisper in my ear: “It’s really quite the mind fuck, isn’t it?” I nod once, not yet trusting myself to speak. A few moments of stunned amazement, then a grin begins to appear on my face.
“Damn!”
“Yeah.”
Yes, it was an intense experience. But I did survive. The funny thing is it didn’t hurt, exactly. More like getting the wind knocked out of me. And that huge muscle clench…
“I wonder what it’d feel like to have that hit right at the moment of orgasm…”
“Yeahhhhh…”
==========================
The reference to Dossie Easton came from the class she ran on “Radical Ecstasy”, a part of the Libido Events Vancouver Sexpo held last fall. I highly recommend the book of the same name.
Friday, December 30, 2005
our little secret
put my daughter to bed at regular bedtime this evening and am now readying myself for my trip down to Seattle.
Allena, Jim & I plan on being at The Wet Spot tomorrow night for the New Years eve celebrations. What fun we will have, as we're quite the triad when out together.
We've even got a tradition, something special we do every new years eve together that the act of doing makes us all feel close.
You see, Allena & I pull up gurneys or beds, side by side in the medical room and one year up against a wall. With beds side by side, at The Spot in the main playing area, we disrobe, you know, get naked. One of us has gotten noise blowers for us both, and we are holding them in our hands.
Laying ourselves each on a bed, we settle in to comfortable positions before popping our horns in to our mouths. Looking out there are many people in the club whom we know and many other faces only vaguely familiar, most have their own play scenes going on, some are socializing and the few who make New Years at The Spot a tradition know what is about to take place.
Midnight has happened, and Allena has already toasted in the whole room and now this is our time. Our girl time together, to be naughty and have fun. Our Daddy Jim can be seen sitting or standing within viewing proximity and whose eyes will not leave us girls for some time.
Giggling like the little girls we are, putting away our bashfulness, we lay out flat, reaching out one arm to one another so we can hold hands. Sweaty palms meeting and fingers entwining so we can gain strength from one another for the act which is about to take place.
"Now" one us will say and then, legs will be spread and our vulvas will be opened in all their glory for our free hands to find.
With eagerness and great hunger our fingers will part our lips and together we will masturbate, while holding hands and blowing on our horns. [the closer to orgasm, the more intense the horn blowing becomes] it is a riot! And both Allena and I can bring an orgasm on close then hold it at bay and bring it back again over and over, the horns just make it so festive! Time doesn't matter, the only thing on our minds is the big O.
Now last year, our paper horns were blown so much [ok, we masturbated that long and that many times] that the cardboard end of one of the blowers went flying off it's curly end due to prolonged exposure to wetness. Some blessed person came along and provided a new horn quickly so our activities needn't slow down or stop. How thoughtful was that person hey?
Jim will have gotten closer & closer to the action with a perma grin on his face & a hard-on in his pants: he can be heard saying "those are My girls" with great pride to anyone within ear shot.
Allena and I can be found, hair amuck, short on breath, wiping up our girl juices off of the beds afterwards before falling straight into our daddies arms.
Happy New Year to all of you, I hope you all have traditions that make you feel good, safe, warm & loved. I know my family does.
Jennifer
Allena, Jim & I plan on being at The Wet Spot tomorrow night for the New Years eve celebrations. What fun we will have, as we're quite the triad when out together.
We've even got a tradition, something special we do every new years eve together that the act of doing makes us all feel close.
You see, Allena & I pull up gurneys or beds, side by side in the medical room and one year up against a wall. With beds side by side, at The Spot in the main playing area, we disrobe, you know, get naked. One of us has gotten noise blowers for us both, and we are holding them in our hands.
Laying ourselves each on a bed, we settle in to comfortable positions before popping our horns in to our mouths. Looking out there are many people in the club whom we know and many other faces only vaguely familiar, most have their own play scenes going on, some are socializing and the few who make New Years at The Spot a tradition know what is about to take place.
Midnight has happened, and Allena has already toasted in the whole room and now this is our time. Our girl time together, to be naughty and have fun. Our Daddy Jim can be seen sitting or standing within viewing proximity and whose eyes will not leave us girls for some time.
Giggling like the little girls we are, putting away our bashfulness, we lay out flat, reaching out one arm to one another so we can hold hands. Sweaty palms meeting and fingers entwining so we can gain strength from one another for the act which is about to take place.
"Now" one us will say and then, legs will be spread and our vulvas will be opened in all their glory for our free hands to find.
With eagerness and great hunger our fingers will part our lips and together we will masturbate, while holding hands and blowing on our horns. [the closer to orgasm, the more intense the horn blowing becomes] it is a riot! And both Allena and I can bring an orgasm on close then hold it at bay and bring it back again over and over, the horns just make it so festive! Time doesn't matter, the only thing on our minds is the big O.
Now last year, our paper horns were blown so much [ok, we masturbated that long and that many times] that the cardboard end of one of the blowers went flying off it's curly end due to prolonged exposure to wetness. Some blessed person came along and provided a new horn quickly so our activities needn't slow down or stop. How thoughtful was that person hey?
Jim will have gotten closer & closer to the action with a perma grin on his face & a hard-on in his pants: he can be heard saying "those are My girls" with great pride to anyone within ear shot.
Allena and I can be found, hair amuck, short on breath, wiping up our girl juices off of the beds afterwards before falling straight into our daddies arms.
Happy New Year to all of you, I hope you all have traditions that make you feel good, safe, warm & loved. I know my family does.
Jennifer
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
what I read
wearing my sex educator hat, sitting naked I read interesting articles in my down time at home, in the pursuit of good sound sex-positive information; which I then get to share with others in a teaching environment. [wearing clothes and sexy shoes]
please be forewarned that if you click on any of the photo link buttons, nestled inside the article, that the images you will find are very graphic
Penile Fracture and Associated Urethral Injury
and reading this was certainly eye opening and will interest you if you are a chronic pain sufferer or a BDSM enthusiast.
genengnews.com: Rein for Pain Lays Mainly in the Brain, Stanford Researchers Find
see something out there I should know about, please, forward it along to me.
Jennifer
please be forewarned that if you click on any of the photo link buttons, nestled inside the article, that the images you will find are very graphic
Penile Fracture and Associated Urethral Injury
and reading this was certainly eye opening and will interest you if you are a chronic pain sufferer or a BDSM enthusiast.
genengnews.com: Rein for Pain Lays Mainly in the Brain, Stanford Researchers Find
see something out there I should know about, please, forward it along to me.
Jennifer
new camera
tonight I plan on catching up on Libido Events e-mail. If you're awaiting something from me, know that the time is near when you'll hear from me. At least 25 e-mails that require dedicated, thoughtful answers. The simple requests I can send back right away, but the rest, well it takes time. Mailing list requests go to my other e-mail address so the address I'm writing about is my jennifer account. Residing in there right now is an obscene amount of mail and the oldest piece is almost 2 weeks old; and I have a personal rule about not having old emails past 2 weeks dated in my account.
For Christmas one of the things I was so blessed to receive was a new digital camera. It works so amazing and I'm elated at how easy it is to navigate, given that I'm one of those who is challenged technically. Soon, on the new web pages to be added to Libido Events will be albums where you can go and browse through the photos I'll be shooting of workshops and play events. (prior to doors opening and people arriving of course)
My daughter and I have just finished pizza and Greek salad and are now together in the livingroom on the sofa. Me on my laptop and her knitting next to me. Jim left early this afternoon and I'm seeing Doug tomorrow for a few hours. Although this year end has lot's of items still needing closure, healing and work on my behalf - right at this moment, at home with my child, I'm feeling peaceful and blessed.
Jennifer
For Christmas one of the things I was so blessed to receive was a new digital camera. It works so amazing and I'm elated at how easy it is to navigate, given that I'm one of those who is challenged technically. Soon, on the new web pages to be added to Libido Events will be albums where you can go and browse through the photos I'll be shooting of workshops and play events. (prior to doors opening and people arriving of course)
My daughter and I have just finished pizza and Greek salad and are now together in the livingroom on the sofa. Me on my laptop and her knitting next to me. Jim left early this afternoon and I'm seeing Doug tomorrow for a few hours. Although this year end has lot's of items still needing closure, healing and work on my behalf - right at this moment, at home with my child, I'm feeling peaceful and blessed.
Jennifer
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
changes
I've yet to go to sleep and it's 9:03am. However, MAJOR site revamp happened overnight. It's not finished yet, but I'm feeling really good about how amazing the transformation already is.
Now to take care of me, sleep, blissful sleep.
Jennifer
Now to take care of me, sleep, blissful sleep.
Jennifer
Friday, December 23, 2005
good friends
thanks Paul, Ray, Linnea, Doug, Allena, Terri, Brendan, Juju and and everyone else for such a wonderful night last night. Spending hours hanging out with you all was a wonderful evening out for both myself and Allena.
We arrived in late and finally were able to cuddle up in my bed together and drift off thinking of all our wonderful friends this Christmas season.
and now today is my daughters birthday. These days are beyond busy, happily.
Jennifer
We arrived in late and finally were able to cuddle up in my bed together and drift off thinking of all our wonderful friends this Christmas season.
and now today is my daughters birthday. These days are beyond busy, happily.
Jennifer
accomodation ad
There is a woman that I met & befriended a few months back that is looking for a local home. When we met she was only visiting Vancouver and now here she is with an ad she wrote for what's most important to her. Drop her a line please if you can help her our OR point her in a good solid housing direction!
thanks
Jennifer
....woman, late bloomer and soul-searching type, seeks shared home with another woman/women or possibly a community home, that embraces a sex positive and/or kink positive attitude for Jan 1/2, but possibly for February 1.
thanks
Jennifer
....woman, late bloomer and soul-searching type, seeks shared home with another woman/women or possibly a community home, that embraces a sex positive and/or kink positive attitude for Jan 1/2, but possibly for February 1.
Consciousness is important to me. I tend to be more introverted than extroverted and I definitely need my quiet time. I eat meat and still consider myself conscious. Like to eat organic as much as possible and use environmentally friendly products in the home.
Nonsmoker/drug user/drinker. Allergic to cats but love them to bits and much more than dogs. A bathtub is essential! No car, computer or furniture and about 30 boxes that represent my life. Willing to consider a location from Kits to Commercial and inbetween. Can pay rent around $500. Contact me at
c a b o u n d y e s @ h o t m a i l . c o m
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
news for Canadians
check out this most amazing article, sent to me by my friend K. Who like me, is happy to see in the news from Canadas high court, that us kinksters, really are free to pursue our own sexual pleasures in adult clubs.
A good read and one that will make you want to mark your calendar with Friday January 27 as the next Libido Events Naughty Party - sex, bondage & BDSM.
Good times legally and with the blessing of Canadas courts, I'll see you ALL there!
Jennifer
A good read and one that will make you want to mark your calendar with Friday January 27 as the next Libido Events Naughty Party - sex, bondage & BDSM.
Good times legally and with the blessing of Canadas courts, I'll see you ALL there!
Jennifer
dress up
Good Morning!!! I'm naked at the kitchen table, my daughter is still asleep in my bed. She's leaving today for her dads for a couple of days, so last night we slept together and given that I'm the earlier riser, means here I sit, typing on my Blog.
I'm soon to get dressed and head off reluctantly for my mammogram. Today feels like a day that I should treat myself very very well and have patience. With this in mind, I'm going to wear sexy underwear to get my breast checked and then take myself out for a leisurely lunch afterwards.
Once I finally get back home this afternoon, perhaps I'll have some time [and the desire] to write about the new venue that I've just finished securing for Libido Events in 2006 for week day classes.
Tonight I've a date with B over at his house and it's my understanding that we may be playing dress up. Adult role play, oh how, I love to suspend reality to get lost in a bubble of lust, pleasure and imaginations.
Jennifer
I'm soon to get dressed and head off reluctantly for my mammogram. Today feels like a day that I should treat myself very very well and have patience. With this in mind, I'm going to wear sexy underwear to get my breast checked and then take myself out for a leisurely lunch afterwards.
Once I finally get back home this afternoon, perhaps I'll have some time [and the desire] to write about the new venue that I've just finished securing for Libido Events in 2006 for week day classes.
Tonight I've a date with B over at his house and it's my understanding that we may be playing dress up. Adult role play, oh how, I love to suspend reality to get lost in a bubble of lust, pleasure and imaginations.
Jennifer
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
irony
Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my fathers death from cancer.
Tomorrow at 11:00am I have an appointment for a mammogram; my left breast has a lump / problem. [again]
For those who have known me for a period, this is not the first time, my left breast, in the exact same spot has been an issue for me. Last time landed me in hospital for 5 days, you can imagine what it must have taken to get me down for that long.
The surgeon has booked me in for January 3rd to discuss what's next.
I have great anger towards my father for a great many injustices. Tomorrow is just a sad reminder of a few of them.
The lack of control that I feel in this situation today is something as a Top I strive to never feel. Which reminds me that I always have the choice of when to bottom and in the situation with my breast & my father, I need to, gain control.
Jennifer
Tomorrow at 11:00am I have an appointment for a mammogram; my left breast has a lump / problem. [again]
For those who have known me for a period, this is not the first time, my left breast, in the exact same spot has been an issue for me. Last time landed me in hospital for 5 days, you can imagine what it must have taken to get me down for that long.
The surgeon has booked me in for January 3rd to discuss what's next.
I have great anger towards my father for a great many injustices. Tomorrow is just a sad reminder of a few of them.
The lack of control that I feel in this situation today is something as a Top I strive to never feel. Which reminds me that I always have the choice of when to bottom and in the situation with my breast & my father, I need to, gain control.
Jennifer
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